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ninja boyfriend
my boyfriend of a year has just recently taken up karate. he has a real job until 2 and his classes are from 7-8:30 sometimes 9. it takes up so much time that we barely see each other anymore. i think the karate is pointless because he is 19 years old and he's only doing it because he envy's his best friend who has a black belt. my boyfriend has been doing it for 2 months now and he's not even a white belt. how can i tell him enough is enough and quit without him getting angry?
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Like the other advicenators suggested, try asking him to maybe cut some classes down, do only two or three a week. Some boys always feel the need to compete with eachother and be the better guy. And it's good he's doing it, too. He's learning self-defense, discipline, and he's being healthy and exercising. My brother took karate for awhile, and it took him forever to get a white belt, it takes a long time to earn them. I know you say you think it's pointless, but maybe you could try taking the class with him and be his partner and everything so you guys could spend time together, and who knows? You might even like it, and at least you'll get some exercise and learn how to defend yourself. I wouldn't tell him ever to quit, because you're not supporting him with whatever he wants to do. I hope I helped.
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Well perhaps you are looking at it the wrong way. There is always competition between boy's, no matter how silly it may seem to us girls. Apparently it has to do with their ego's. Instead of asking him to quit, why don't you ask him to cut down on the amount of classes he goes to a week. By doing this you are not going to become the controlling girlfriend, and will get to spend more time with him. If this doesnt work out and you are realy determined to spend more time with him then why don't you take up the classes, you will benefit because he will be happy and you will still be able to kick his but if need be.
love jem xxxxx
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I think that you are going about this the worng way. I don't think that you should control how he lives his life. It is a good thing that he has a hobby!
I understand that you want to spend more time with him, and maybe you should talk to him about only doing 2 or 3 classes a week? That way you get to spend time with him and he gets to continue with something that he enjoys too. It is good that he is learning to defend himself, and if he started because he was jealous of his friend so what?! If he didnt like it he wouldnt be doing it.. besides.. its making him fit for you!!!!
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You can't really control what he does but you could suggest Taekwondoe its only a few times a week and it advances much faster than karate you can ususally have your black belt with in a year
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you can't control him or tell him what to do. the choice to quit would be his not yours. the martial arts are also something that some people that once they discover them they fall in love with it. my friend's dad owns a kung-fu school and i can say that kung-fu is something that once i started it i didn't want to quit. to me there is no being finished with it, as there is always more to learn. and i think maybe your boyfriend might be in that boat. have you asked him what he sees in the class? all i see here is you demeaning it and talking about how it's a waste of time, but not talking about how he feels about it.
and two months in karate isn't enough time to earn even a white belt. the difference between adult's martial arts and the martial arts for kids is that all kids start off with a white belt and are given "upgrades" in belts as time goes by regardless of skill. a kids class may feature a whole rainbow of belts. white, blue, green, yellow, purple, red, brown, and black. whereas an adults class may only have white, green, brown, and black. thus making it so that progression has to be earned based on skill and how much you learn. and in many cases two months is still just getting into the beginner's stuff. and for many adult classes progression isn't gained until one does some sparring matches, or tournaments with others in his skill and weight bracket. so as to prove that skill and ability are what moved him up, not how long you've been there.
i have been a black belt in suai-chow kung-fu since i was 14, i have been training in it since i was a kid, and i am nowhere near the level of some of the teachers and stuff. because skill takes a long time to hone and learn and two months in a class is just the tip of the iceberg. it takes at least four years where i come from to become a black belt and then within that belt are different degrees of your skill. i am only a first degree belt, my teacher a 7th degree, and some of his friends who come around are 10th degree which in the form of kung-fu we practise is the highest level of skill.
perhaps you should sit down with your boyfriend and discuss with him how his not being around makes you feel. but at the same time learn what it is that really makes him want to take the karate classes. if you tell him to quit he's just gonna do it more. and if you try to boss him around he wont listen. but if you sit down with him, tell him how you feel, find out how he feels, and try and talk it out like civilized people things should turn out for the better. heck you might end up taking karate with him, great excersize right there.
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