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I'm a band geek in my senior year of high school and I'm not telling where I live. I go by Lyss online, if you want to know, and I have all sorts of interests, including: band, music, reading, writing, a bit of art, Irish dance, and just too many to name in a single profile. I love to give advice, because it makes me feel good knowing that I can help someone and share my knowledge. I'm very straight-forward and honest, if at times long-winded, but you can count on the advice that I give to be from personal experience or the experience of a close friend.
E-mail: ClarinetGirlALS@yahoo.com
Gender: Female
Location: Pick a place, I've been lots!
Occupation: Student/Musician
AIM: ClarinetGirlALS
Member Since: October 17, 2003
Answers: 19
Last Update: March 6, 2006
Visitors: 2679

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wat do u guys like in a girl
going fast or slow makes the fist move or you make the first going places or staying close taller shorter eye color hair color and anything else favorite thing and anythign else you want!!!
sign
what a guy wants (link)
Okay, I'm not a guy, but I've asked multiple guys this very same question. The truth? Most of them tend to go for your personality, and honestly, even if you get the answer to your question exactly, how far are you willing to go to change yourself, just for a guy? I used to think I had to change myself too, but I got into a different group of friends, some of them guys, who think I'm beautiful and wonderful exactly the way I am. I still don't have a boyfriend, mind you, but I'm the most confident I've ever been in my life. Don't listen to anyone else. Tell yourself that you're beautiful and intelligent and wonderfully clever every day, and you'll notice a difference in how you feel about yourself, as well as how you feel about life. Other people will see it as well, and if a guy doesn't want you and doesn't see that, then he really doesn't deserve to be around you, does he? I had to learn this the hard way. Don't make my mistake. Embrace who you are and accept that there will be those that simply don't see what a truly wonderful person that is.


Ok here goes, I am an advice giver and everything but I can't fix this problem. I go to a school where there is a whole bunch of guys. I have a major crush on one of them but every time I make a move on a guy I like, I get these kinds of remarks such as "You should jump off a bridge and save yourelf the embarassment of actually having a love life". Remarks like these are said to me everyday and somehow they have etched themselves into my head and they won't go away. Now it seems like the only way to get rid of them is to commit suicide. I have thought about it many times but I want help. Please answer back. I don't know how much more of these remarks I can stand. (link)
Ok, first of all, I've been down a similar path. I a couple years ago desperately wanted to end everything. I know it's tough, but yuo've gotta stick it out. You're better than these people making the remarks. If you kill yourself, they win. They beat you. Stay strong. About the crush, is he someone who you know, who you talk to, who you like to be around simply because of who he is? If he treats you well, then go for it, but be careful. I've been burned before too. You really have to stay strong for me, though, and talk to someone who can really help. I hated counseling, but I think that it probably did help. If you need someone just to talk to, my e-mail is ClarinetGirlALS@wmconnect.com and my IM is ClarinetGirlALS.

Keep strong, gorgeous! You'll pull through, and you'll end up successful, and all the jackasses making fun of you will work in McDonald's for the rest of their lives!

Lyss


Me and my boyfriend are going to see a scary movie and some of my friends and some of his friends are going too. I wanna cuddle with him at least a little bit, but I think he is kinda shy and might not wanna if his friends are there. Someone please help me!! (link)
Try holding his hand. He'll get the message, and if he's comfortable with being more intimate in public with his buddies around, he'll get closer. If he's not, then just hold hands as sort of a compromise to his feelings.


ok theres this girl and I like her but i want to stop. see theres this guy and hes a big sweet talker guy, the guy that everyone loves no matter what. well i've liked this girl for a long time and I told her i liked her and she said she liked me to and then the sweet talker comes along and i get so pissed cause he cant stick to one girl. well it just breaks my heart whenever she ditches me for him and the girl and i are good friends and well i know i cant get over her by forcing myself and i dont know how to tell her this. can you help? (link)
First thing is first. You have to realize that this girl really isn't worth you, your time, or your energy to have her ditching youi for someone else. That's what you have to realize. I know that won't change your mind about her, so on to the advice. I really think that you need to be especially sweet to her, open doors, pay for the occasional meal, etc. etc. Girls really take notice to these things and pay very close attention to the actions of guys. Next, you need to make sure you're there for her in any way that she needs you to be for when this other guy breaks her heart if he's the player that you say he is. It'll mean so much if you're there afterwards, and it'll strengthen your friendship if it ends up not turning into a relationship. Next, you should definitely tell her how you feel, about her as well as about the way she's been treating you. Don't let yourself be mistreated by anyone just because you have a crush or are even in love. If she wants to have out with the loser, and she doesn't take your feelings into consideration after you talk to her, then you should dump her. Seriously, if she can't treat you well, then there is no sense in having her as a friend. I hope this helped.


There is this guy I really like. Today I found out that he cuts himself. The only thing is, he doesn't know that I know. How can I bring it up and tell him to stop without sounding all maternal? (link)
Okay, first of all, don't go telling everyone that he cuts. Seriously, I know what it's like when someone finds out that you'r depressed and tells ANYONE. It's not fun at all. Don't just go up and talk to him about it either, because that would have set me off when I was someone cutting. The best thing you can do is be his friend, and wait for him to come to you. I know that he probably won't commit suicide, and he's also not looking for attention. Very few people who cut are, I've done enough of my own research to know. Let yourself be his shoulder to cry on, though, if he has no one else to turn to. I know it's scary that he cuts, I used to myself. You just have to be patient. He's probably under a lot of pressure right now to be something that he's not. Support him. That's the only way to get through to him. I'm not saying support his cutting, because it can be dangerous. I'm saying support any hopes, dreams, and desires he has that are not dangerous to his life.

I hope this helps, I know what it's like to be on his end, so if you want to know more about what would be his side, ask me. I know.


my girlfreind spends a lot of time talking to my friends and other guys instead of me. this kinda sucks because whenever i try to talk to her she walks away or tries to ignore me in the hallways of our school. please help (link)
Okay, it sounds like she has moved on, or else she just plain doesn't like you. Sorry, but that's the cold hard truth. She's being a bitch, and she probably knows it, but if you really want to be with her, talk to her about it. Maybe she doesn't realize that she's doing it, I know that sometimes happens, but remember not to be too upset if she breaks up with you, and if it turns out that she has lost interest in you, but she still doesn't break up with you, break up with her! You deserve better, and you're really too young to be in a meaningful relationship if you're still in school. I'm not saying don't date and have fun, I'm just saying don't take anything too seriously. School relationships are not very meaningful for the most part, and you don't sound overly concerned that she's not talking to you. Maybe you just don't like being the one who's ignored? I'm rambling now I guess, but I hope that I've at least given you some good, useful advice.

Hope everything works out for you!
Lyss


i dunno if this is the right subject 4 this but..im homeschooled and i wanna play sports cuz i wanna be able 2 beat my crush in sports and impress him. do u guys know any way i can get into a sport even though im homeschooled? (link)
It depends on the area, but most cities and towns have leagues for kids who want to play with people from other schools and such, i.e. non school-related sports. You could also look online for martial arts or dance classes in your area; just do a google search. One of my friends is home-schooled, and she's still a very active soccer player. I suggest looking up the sports teams in your area, depending on what sports you want to play. But play them for yourself, because you'll lose interest if the sports are solely for a crush.


i have friends but the second i turn my back they talk about me make fun of me and they are so two faced and a backstabber because they always go crawling back to my arch arrival enemy antonia what should i do? (link)
Honestly, this has happened to me more times than I can count. I think someone is my friend, and then I find out that they talk behind my back. The truth is that if they were really your friends, they wouldn't be doing this. They youls support you, and if you didn't like this other person that much, they wouldn't be very close with her. You should make some new friends and end your ties with them. I know it's blunt, and you probably are trying to convince yourself that they truly like you, but trust me. You'll end a lot of pain later on if you just plain don't let them be your friends any more.


Why do people who don't know shit about music insist on "answering" some of these questions, when they have absolutely nothing to offer?

I mean, if I were to ask the best way to resolve a chord progression, there would be at least 4 people who would answer by saying that they have no clue. Why? Why do these people feel compelled to answer on subjects they don't know jack-shit about?

p.s. - if you don't play guitar, don't answer guitar questions. If you don't play music, don't answer questions about how to play something or about music theory.

Thank you, that is all. (link)
I fully agree that people who know nothing about music should not answer music questions. I have limited guitar knowledge from working in a music store, I am taking a music theory class, and I have been playing the clarinet for eight years. I asked a question a while back about good quality clarinets, and a couple of people knew nothing about it or chose to rant about the fact that they hate the clarinet, and they were people who had no business answering my question. People come to this website for advice, and anyone who knows nothing about a sbject they are answering a question for should just stay away from the question! Hopefully people will some day get the insight that some people depend on the advice they are given and when they are insulted for asking a question or are given bad advice they might get irritated.


Lately my boyfriend is being very cold to me. He doesn't want to hug or hold me, he barelly calls. I try to be very affectionate with him but it hurts when you get no affection back. He constantly thinks that I am either lying or cheating on him, which I am doing neither. I love him very much and I want things to work out between us but I don't know what else to do to show him I am good to him. What should I do? (link)
I hate to tell you this, but I've known that he has no reason to believe you're cheating on him unless he's unfaithful himself. Watch for that. He could also have been told by one of his friends, so don't just jump in and blame him. Ask innocent questions and watch for suspicious reactions. I've tested this technique, and it really does work, believe it or not. Just distance yourself somewhat.


ok i'm a teenager and least year i almost commited suicide over a guy i really liked and this year i've been thinking about my father (i have never met him andi really want to know more about him and accually meet him) and my mother will not tell me anything and earlyer today i was ready to write a couples of letters to my family and friends saying how much i love them and stuff like that nad i was ready to take a couples of different strong pills and kill myself but then i stopped and called up the guy i almost killed myself over and i asked him what he thinks other people and himself would feel if i killed myself or died and he said that he would be really upset cuz we went out a couple of times and we've been in each others lives for a long time and he said that he wouldn't know what to do with out me but i don't know i just can't handle all this so someone please tell me what i should do cuz i just feel like takin my life (link)
Okay, I know that you've had a lot of answers to this, and I know that a lot of them seem like good-natured people, but here's the deal from someone who's been through almost the exact same situation. My biological father wasn't around for many years. When he DID decide to come back into my life, he made so many promises to come and see me. The last time I saw him face-to-face was a few years ago. Last year I thought seriously about killing myself, and I called a friend. Some of my best friends had been unavailable, so I called one of my close friends that wasn't one that I hung out with as much. She helped me. I talked to people, and some of them told their guidance counselor that I was thinking about suicide. My guidance counselor called me in, talked to me, and called my mom. I don't recommend a school counselor or someone who can contact your parents if you don't want to have them know, because I wish that my mom had not known, even though it might have helped me deal with the stress. A counselor may be right for you, even though it wasn't right for me, and I only saw the woman a few times. But talk when you're ready, and make sure you don't follow through with suicide. And I pray that you don't take my route and start injuring yourself with the intent of relieving emotional stress without the intention to kill. It's not the way to go, trust me, I'm still going down that road, and I regret starting self-injury, because now it's like an addiction. You would do so well to write, paint, make music, do something creative, because I know that you have some sort of talent. Just make sure you talk to SOMEONE, even if it is in complete confidence. It does make you feel better, I promise. I know what I'm talking about!


Why am I black? (link)
Do you want to be like Micheal Jackson? Seriously, be proud of your ethnicity, it's wonderful that you are black. Don't walk in shame because of your race. Think about all the people who want to be black. Just stand proudly as who you are. You're black because you were meant to be black. Simple as that.


I wanna be what i feel like being! But if people start rejecting me, my life will be horrible I wanna be a punk is that a bad choice? I already aske dmy mom she seems fine with it. .and well I want that change! but should I not do it, 4 my friends? (link)
Well, it's okay to be what you want to be, because if that is what you want, then do it; besides, at least punk is unique instead of that wiger/wanksta stuff!


OK so here's what happened this weekend...

Friday; after work Jon came up to me and told me (with beautiful eloquence) that he fancied me.

Saturday; I went to meet him after work to talk to him.I was sufficiently confused that he guilt-tripped me into saying that I liked him back and getting his mobile no. etc.

Sunday; he asked me to meet him and we spent a couple of hours in town talking.

Monday;he asked me to meet him (again) and I said I had to much work to do.

Today; I will be seeing him and would like YOUR advice as to how to let him down.

He is a very sweet person but I don't like him enough to want to go out with him especially with the complication of working together.

HELP!
(link)
Just say I DON'T like you, how hard is that?


These are some of the singers I like:
Simon & Garfunkel
Indigo Girls
Christine Kane
Paul Simon
James Taylor
They Might Be Giants
Dar Williams
Woody Guthrie
Natalie Merchant
Other CDs I own include Edith Piaf, The Canadian Brass Ensemble, The Charlie Daniels Band, Enya, Counting Crows, and soundtracks for Fiddler on the Roof, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat and Sister Act.

What other artists/bands might you suggest that I might like? (link)
You might try Adagio for Strings by Samuel Barber, because it's a really pretty classical piece, and Enya has a similar sound as far as the instruments. I also think you might enjoy Vanessa Carleton or Evanescence. Michelle Branch is good too. They're all things that I like, and you might like them too, I would guess. You'll only enjoy Evanescence if you can tolerate some metal though.


I have been going out with this boy on and off since january 11th 2003 and we have broken up 5 times .Each time I dumped him but we always got back together within like a week. At first he was obssessed with me but somehow it all changed and i became obssessed with him . Recently he has been changing and ignoring me and finally he dumped me for the first time and really hurt me because I felt like I was madly in love with him and would marry him. I thought he felt the same way but he said that lately it felt like I was more of a friend to him then a girlfriend. Now during our whole relationship he has also on and off liked his first girlfriend and went out with her for two days before dumping her one time when we had broken up. So after Iam starting to kinda get over him and thinking of the good things of why were over (like no more heartbreaks) he calls me up and says hes completley over his first girlfriend and hints he wants to go back out with me but im not sure i should i mean i still like him but will i just be going back to the old heartbreak ? Our relationship has been down hill ever since he realized he still liked his old girlfriend. To make matters worse my best friend said she wont be my friend anymore if we get back together because my boyfriend said he is just going to keep dumping me for his 1st girlfreind and then getting back together with me and she can't stand seeing me hurt.To get back together or not? What is your advice? (link)
Honestly, I don't think you should get back together. One of my friends broke up with the same person over 27 times before she finally called it quits with him. You just need to forget about him and find someone else. It's best not to dwell on him, because your friend's right, you'll only get your heart broken again. I know it's not fun to have your heart broken, so before you find someone else, just spend some time being single. You may be surprised to remember how much fun it can be!


I've gone out with this kid twice and both times the reason for the break up was we were basically sick of each other. Unfortunately, we both keep bouncing back to each other. Consequently I'm pretty obsessed with this one kid.

Recently, however, he's taken to generally ignoring me when I'm around. This hurts me, not because I like him per se at the moment, but because I miss our friendship like whoa. I say hi to him whenever I see him and everything, but I don't want to call him (the chase and all that jazz). But I miss him so much. I've let too many friendships die this way. Advice? (link)
If I were you, I would try talking to him and telling him that you miss his friendship. Don't lay blame on him or anything, keep it simple and brief, but don't let him believe that you like him romantically, that would be leading him on, and it may give him false hope of you liking him again.


I met a guy in a chat room....We have a lot in common and a lot of the same interests. I am 15 and he is 37...he looks way younger. I have been hanging out with him after school and at the mall. I want to date him. I am very attracted to him and he is SO nice and sweet to me. He takes me to lunch, etc. Should I get involved with him even though we have a huge age difference? I don't think it makes a difference. (link)
No, no no! Definitely not! Not only is there too big of an age difference, but it could be dangerous for you, and you could also get him in serious trouble! What's more, what are you doing with someone you met in a chatroom? That could have been equally dangerous for you. It's fine if you want to just stay friends, but please don't get involved. It worries me that you would even think of it.


If you're too shy to ask someone out in person is it creepy to write them a note? (link)
Well, I so far haven't had good experiences with notes-I've been turned down every time. It is a bit awkward to give someone a note, but I suggest that you talk to this person and tell them yourself. Drop hints first, and if you think that he/she likes you as well, go for it. I don't recommend the note unless you're sure that this person likes you though, because it seems to be the case that a lot of people are less responsive to notes. Is it creepy? No. It's just a lot less personal, and therefor you are less likely to get the response you want.




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