Gender:
FemaleLocation:
AlabamaAge:
18Member Since:
September 3, 2005Answers:
24Last Update:
September 12, 2005Visitors:
2995Main Categories:
General Sex Questions
Mental health
Families
View All
about
Hi I'm Ashley. I'm 18 years old and married to the greatest guy in the world. I'm 7 months pregnant and excited to what my future has to bring. I graduated high school this past spring with the class of 2005. I love helping people and trying to give them the best advice possible. I have had a lot of life experiences, not saying that all have been bad although there has been a share of them. I'm open & ready to answer any question asked and don't mind doing further research to better my answers. Feel free to ask anything, I'll do what I can to help. =]
advice
I'm 17/F and I need advice concerning my boyfriend. We have been together about 2 months now and things have been up and down between us, but we are head over heels in love with eachother. We occasionally have our fights over petty things, but we always make up and I am very happy being with him. Well recently things were even more amazing than usual and we hadn't fought like we usually would. Well it seems like everyone is out to break us up. I had my ex boyfriend trying to tell him that I cheated on him, and then I had guys that used to be friends with him telling me he cheated on me. Everyone was trying to get us to break apart and the underlying reason was crystal clear to me: They wanted us to break up so that I would be single so they could make their move on me. All of them mentioned how they could "treat me better" and all that bullshit. I truly love my boyfriend and I would NEVER cheat on him. But the one area that I always stumble into in all the relationships I've been in is trust. I'm naturally not a very trusting person. And I definently don't trust my boyfriend that much. I trust he would never cheat on me, but when he tells me something I don't trust his word on it. He makes up white lies all the time and exaggerates alot. I have no problem with this really, because I can be a fibber at times as well. But the problem I do have is that he is VERY secretive about his serious issues in his life. Like his family especially. He only lets me know bits and pieces about his family issues. He lives with his mom and his step-dad. I know ALOT about this family. I've met them and I know all of them really well. But his real dad I don't know much about and he doesn't tell me much. His real dad he is not allowed to see because his mom doesn't want him around him, so she told my boyfriend that if she caught him going up there to see him she would send him to military school. So he secretly keeps in contact with him and visits him only about twice a year. He said he won't tell me much about it because the last girl he was with threatened to tell on him to his mom once and she almost got him caught and he said he wants to keep certain things to himself. And I understand that. I'm the same way. But he is double-sided. If I keep something to myself and I am upset about it, he will get PISSED if I don't tell him all the details. And just last night I was hanging out with him and his mom called his cell demanding him to get his ass home or she would call the cops. He had just got off work and it was around 12:30 when we drove back to his house. His mom and step dad were pissed because he "hadn't done his laundry" and he was out late, when he doesn't have a curfew on the weekends! So that didn't at all make sense to me. Well he pulled up at his house and his step dad was standing in the front lawn. He gave me a kiss goodnight and the minute he opened the car door to get out, his step dad reached his hand into the car, grabbed my boyfriend by the hair and threw him onto the front lawn and started punching him and kicking in his ribs and face! I immediately got out of my car and ran over there. His step dad was punching him and cussing him out and my boyfriend was on the ground screaming, "I didn't do anything wrong! STOP!" Well I started screaming at his dad to stop fucking beating him up and he looked at me and briefly stopped and told me to get in my fucking car and get the hell out of there or something will happen. I stood there not wanting to leave, but my boyfriends uncle gently pushed me toward my car and told me to leave quickly. The whole night I couldn't sleep or eat and I was crying all night and morning because I was afraid they found out he went to see his real dad and they were going to send him away. And I was also afraid my boyfriend would decide to move 2 hours away to get away from them. Well I finally got to see my boyfriend around 10:30 and his face was all cut up, his ear cartilage was torn, his back was covered in welts and so was his neck and chest, and his head had a HUGE bump on it. He told me his step dad called the cops on him because he punched him and busted his nose. (His dad had continued beating the shit out of him for 15 minutes straight after I left and drug him by his hair up the stairs so my boyfriend got up and punched him in the face). Well when I asked why his dad did this he said he would tell me later. Then he told me later that he couldn't tell me because it was a "family issue" and it didn't concern me and it was something real serious, and he was told not to talk to anyone about it. Well I was upset that he wouldn't tell me, but I wasn't going to press it. Well later that night he told me the reason was because he "missed curfew", "kept having people over without permission", and "wasn't checking in with them enough". I know it was a lie. I can tell when he lies and he was lying to me. But I wasn't going to add stress by bringing it up. So is there any way that I can get my boyfriend to open up to me? I understand people need there privacy and some thing kept to themselves, but there are certain things I think I should be entitled to knowing since I am his girlfriend, and since he expects me to tell him about my serious issues as well. (Sorry my question is so long!)
I read some of the others answers and all I have to say about them is that they are REALLY rude. If they aren't going to give advice then they need to get off of here! Anyway, to your question... I think you just need to give him some time. Patience is the key and if you show that you have that eventually he'll open up. Don't tell him EVERYTHiNG either and if he says something explain that you don't feel right pouring out your heart and him not telling you everything. Let him know that it bothers you and that he should key you in at least a little bit. He said that he had a girl break his trust by threatening to tell his mom about seeing his real dad. You just gotta give him time there I suppose. He's trying to trust and I'm guessing it's hard if someone's betrayed you. I'm really sorry that you two are going through this, but I'm sure everything will get worked out. The beating that happened to him NEEDS to be reported to the police ASAP! Abuse is the answer to NOTHiNG! Good Luck with everything and if you need anything else just email me! God Bless! =]
Hey I go to football games every Friday at our school, so I went yesterday. Whenever I'm there, I'm wild and crazy and I make tons of friends and I'm not afraid to do anything. But at school, I never act like that. I'm shy at school and I'm never that outgoing, and I'm afraid that if I see my friends from the football games at school that I won't be what they thought I was. What do I do? =[
There's many more people at games than at school. If you're outgoing at games and making tons of friends then obviously the people you are making friends with like that side of you. If that's the true you then let it out! Just be true to yourself and don't try to impress others. People are going to like you either way you are, whether it's the same group of people. =] Good Luck!
ok here goes, i have been friends with my best friend for 4 years. two years into our friendship we got a little serious, we started hanging out more and eventually we kissed. this made us even closer. later on we hooked up. though we were so close we decided not to go any further with our "relationship" because he had a girlfriend. We have remained good friends and recently, we hooked up again. during 'it' we stopped cause he said it didnt feel right, but i didnt want to. he has a girlfriend of 1 yr and i have a bf for 2 years. i want him so bad i cant stand it. and we hardly ever get to see each other anymore because of our signifigant others. but he is ALWAYS on my mind....i dont kno wat to do, what do i say? tell him how i feel and risk it all? i know i cheated but i dont regret it...im so confused! PLEASE help! please dont erase!
First and foremost cheating is wrong. It's the worst thing you could do to another person, especially someone who cares so much about you. You say you don't regret it, I'm the type of person who doesn't regret things either, but you should DEF. learn from your mistakes. You say you don't care for your boyfriend much anymore so you should just break it off with him. Apparently your best friend doesn't care too much for his girlfriend either, so he should cut it off with her. Then you both will be free and able to date each other. Although you have to also look at it like this. He's been with this girl for a year and you've been with your boy for two years... that's a long time for young relationships. You'd think that there would be much more trust and honesty in these relationships. The thing you have to think about is, you both are cheating so how do you know that when you two get together that he won't cheat again? Or you won't cheat again? I know it's really hard to think about what will happen and life is all about chances so if he's who you want to be with then break it off with the other guy and get him. As for breaking your current boyfriend's heart, don't you think you've already done that? What would he think if he knew this? A relationship is hard work, even if he is away you are supposed to stay loyal to him. I'm sure you'll get everything worked out. =] Good Luck!
ok so ages ago i thought i would buy a small pack of tampons.My mum knows ive started my period but she probably does not know i got these tampons and she found them.theres only 2 of them. in a tiny box. be cause she thinks i use pads which i do. So what im asking is what if my mum asks me where i got it? erm or something? 17/f
It's probably not going to be a big deal. You're 17 years old so therefore you choose the way to take care of your body. If you prefer tampons over pads that's solely your decision. Tell her the truth when she asks you about them. Say you thought you'd try them to see if they were better for you. I'm sure she won't freak or anything, tons of young girls these days use tampons. Good Luck!
This may end up getting lengthy, but the situation is complicated...
My circle of friends is made up of married couples, people who have BFs or GFs and single folks. We are all in our late 20's, early 30's and we all pretty much met in college (not all the same college, though).
Anyway, there is one particular girl in our group that has a habit of dating the guys in our group. The first time this happened, the rest of us were happy for the two of them, but unfortunately, their relationship did not last long (about 3 months) and it ended badly. We then had to endure a period where the two of them could not be invited to the same group functions because they couldn't stand the sight of each other. Things were really awkward. That was a while ago (about 3 yrs), and now we are all able to hang out together again, but things are still strained between them. She harbors animosity towards him and still speaks badly of him when his back is turned.
A couple of months ago, she started going out with a different guy friend of ours (who IS aware of her previous relationship with guy friend #1). It has been hard for most of us to support them because we remember what happened last time. We really don't want to go through that awkward period again if things don't work out. Add to that the fact that the two of them have some major differences in thinking when it comes to things like religion and sex before marriage and you can see that this relationship is most likely doomed.
This whole thing is causing our circle of friends to unravel. Instead of doing things together, no questions asked, invitations are now met with, "Are THEY going to be there?". Some of us feel that it's better to avoid them entirely than have to pretend to be happy about their relationship. Myself personally, seeing the two of them together frankly grosses me out.
I should add this bit of information about this girl: she is an only child and extremely introverted. I feel the reason she becomes attracted to the guys in our group of friends is because those are the only men she is exposed to! She has always refused any attempt the rest of us has made to get her in a public setting where she might meet some other single guys. (And she's a cute girl! She would have NO problems meeting someone.)
Now the questions:
Is there an unwritten law that friends should not date friends?
Should we just keep our traps shut and hold the I-told-you-so's until they are warranted?
Should we hold a mass intervention with these two and let them know how we all feel?
Should the chance at *love* be sacrificed for the good of the group?
Honestly, the longer this thing goes on, the more disjointed our friendships are going to get unless we do something soon. Your sound advice will be MORE than appreciated.
Thanks,
R.P., 31/F/NC
First of all, this girl is just living her life. Maybe not the way you guys agree with, but she's doing what she wants and probably not caring what others think of her. I admire people like that. You and your friends may think it isn't going to work out [ and it may not ] but life is all about taking chances. You'll never know if something is going to work until you try it. You and your friends can still get together and hang out and still be involved with this couple. If you guys are truely friends with these people you should support them. If people can't count on their friends who are they supposed to count on? If you don't think this is such a good idea or that none of your other friends will still agree to hang out with the couple then you guys should sit them down and tell them how you feel. If you just keep not meeting up with friends then all of you are going to grow apart and if you don't invite the couple they are going to be offended and losing friends is NEVER fun. I believe that any person has the right to date who he or she wants whether they're in a circle of friends or not. They say friends make the best lovers. I agree with this, my husband is my best friend. As for keeping traps shut, you shouldn't tell your friends or anyone you care for 'I told ya so' because that makes them feel belittled. The chance of love being sacrificed for the group? That is totally & completely up to the couple. They decide whether or not they love each other and want to stay together. The group can't make the decision of whether or not they stay together. The best thing you could do would be to sit them down and discuss how the group is feeling. I hope everything gets worked out & I'm sure it will. =]
ok sorry...weird question...but if you have sex while youre on ur period, like the last few days or w/e...what are the chances that you'll get pregnant? sorry if thats kinda weird/gross
You still have the same chance at getting pregnant while you are on your period than when you are not. If you are using some sort of protection that reduces the chances quite a bit, especially condoms. But if you aren't then the chance is always very probable. Good Luck!
A few years back I had this friend who was really nice. But then after a while she started acting strange. If she saw me talking with another person she'd get all mad and butt in and tell them I was her best friend, and her only best friend. And then she started getting weird and always wanted me over, and if I couldn't come she'd start yelling at my Mom.
So my Mom made me break off the friendship with her in fear of my own health. I did. And she was devistated at the time, but when I changed schools and moved across town, I stopped hearing from her.
But now, three years later, she's sending me threatening mail, she's calling my house, and she won't stop IMing me on different accounts after I block her. I'm pretty creeped out, and I would go to the police, but she hasn't said anything too threatening. She's just calling me bad names and all that.
I really, really want her to stop. What should I do?
Thanks. Sorry this was so long!
~KaT
You could try changing your screenname. Although it is really ridiculous to have to change your life around for some odd person. Just talk to her and let her know that if it doesn't stop then you are going to go to the police because it's getting out of control. You haven't done anything so awful to her and if she hadn't been such a controlling friend then you guys could still be friends. You could ask an adult, such as your school counselor, if there is anything the police can do such as a protection order where if she contacts you she can be in trouble. I'm sure everything will get worked out. =] Good Luck & God Bless!
i need help to see if this guy is interested..
1. k well ill get up and sharpen my pencil during class and he will look up and stare until i look at him
2. he ALWAYS looks at me
yeah, this is pretty much gay but i just wanna know considering this kid is like so great.
Sounds like he's at least a little bit interested in ya. If he's staring at you all the time that's a good sign right there that he's interested in knowing something about you. Try talking to him about a general subject that is interesting to everyone. If he listens and makes eye contact while you are speaking to him then he's probably interested. Ease into things slowly though, don't want to get your hopes up if for some reason he's just a weirdo who likes to stare. =] Good Luck!
ok...well ive been talking to this kid and i have grown to like him in the past few days and he said hes starting to like me. the thing is today he told me that he wanted to be "together" because he just broke up with his girlfriend about a month ago that he had been going out with for 2 years and hes not really ready for a girlfriend boyfriend relationship at the moment. hes a really sweet kid. all i hear from everyone is how sweet he is. he swears on his life that im not just some sort of "rebound girl" and i want to believe it. im just wondering..by saying that we're together do you think that he just wants to keep his options open? or that he just doesn't want to rush into things? i really need an answer. thanks in advance.
To truely find out if something is going to work you have to give it a chance. He probably is feeling a little lonely, but if he says he likes you and if you like him then you should give it a chance. See how it works, although you should probably not get too attached at first just to see how things go for awhile. Once you trust him and find out whether it's going to work ease up in the relationship and get a little closer. =] Life is all about taking chances, but remember leave enough options open where YOU won't get hurt. =] Good Luck!
how do i get a boy to like me when he already has a gf or at least notice me?
Well, if he already has a girlfriend then you can't just steal him away. If he left her for you then how do you know that he wouldn't just leave you for another girl? You could possibly become friends with him though, that might be as close as you can get to him for right now. Just be yourself. Guys love girls who are true to themselves and not all fake and ditzy. Just try talking to him about a general topic such as something that's going on at school that is interesting to everyone. Remember though the most important thing is to just be yourself. =] Good Luck!
I'm 13/f, I really like this guy, and I'm in the 7th grade. He's really cute and he's really fun to talk to and he's really nice and I could make a whole list of great things about him, but that would take a long time and wouldn't make much of a difference anyhow. We used to be good friends, but over the summer he went away and I didn't get to stay in touch with him. Now, he's still nice and we still IM and talk sometimes and all, but he just doesn't seem interested and has sort of backed down. He talks and flirts with other girls, and I know that that's not something to be really mad about, but I just can't help but be really pissed off whenever he's having fun with another girl, or talking and walking alone with another girl. And I'm too embarassed to talk to him as much, and he's in only 1 of my classes (Grrr). What can I do to build back friendship again, how can I approach him without blushing, how can I get him to notice me more? I know this is really long, and I'm only 13, and this seems like a dumb question compared to what's happening to people dying in New Orleans and people trying to live in leaky football stadiums in New Orleans but I really need help!!!
First off, that's really thoughtful for you to realize that people have it worse than you. That proves that you are mature for your age. Second if you are wanting to build back to friendship that you had [ and maybe more ] them you can't be embarrassed to talk to him. You once had a friendship so it wouldn't be that weird if you just walked up and asked how he had been doing, ya know, just small talk. When you do so don't think about trying to impress him, that'll cut down on the blushing. Don't do anything outta the way to try and impress him either. Just be yourself. Guys love genuine girls. You can't get mad about him talking to other girls [ well you can but doesn't do any good ] =] He probably doesn't realize that you are interested in him because you haven't talked in a long time. He's just out trying to get to know other girls. Once he finds out you are interested I'm sure he'll start paying ALOT of attention to you too. =] I'm sure everything will get worked out. Keep your great attitude and Good Luck!
is it wrong for a 13M to have been never been kissed.
No way! There is no certain time for a person to get their first kiss. Whether you are a female or a male it doesn't happen at any certain age it happens when you are ready. When you ARE ready you will know. =] Just be patient... Good Luck!
i have this really good friend, but she's way to thin. i mean, she's like 75 pounds, and we're in 9th grade. she wears xs & 0s, and can fit into kids clothes. i think this makes her less attractive, and everyone says shes anorexic. but she eats at lunch, and whenever we hang out she eats. i dont think shes bulimic(sp?) and she doesnt look sickly. i think its just genetics, but she doesnt think shes all that skinny, though she is, sometimes she'll make remarks like shes gaining weight or whatever, and the truth is she could gain about 20 pounds and still be considered very tiny. she needs to gain weight because it looks unhealthy, almost like you could break her in half, but i dont know how to help her, and i dont want to offend her. maybe its not my place to tell her she needs to gain weight? but everyone always talks about how skinny she is, and guys arent interested in her because shes like a stick. what should i do? or should i do anything?
ill rate high :)
Hi. Approaching someone with something like this is always a hard subject. All you can do basically if you are wanting to say anything to her is that you are worried that she is unhealthy and that she is sick. Just let her know how worried because she's your best friend and you would never want to lose her. If you honestly think there is nothing wrong with her physically then you might just wanna brush away from the subject of saying anything. Some people are just naturally small boned and really skinny. It does look a bit unhealthy, but as long as nothing is truely wrong then noone else should worry about it. As for the guys not liking her, then that's their problem. She's probably a great girl inside and they're just being steriotypical. She'll find a guy, probably alot, that like her when her time is right. Alot of guys like really skinny girls these days. There are a variety of people out there these days and everyone should be able to find somebody. =] I'm sure everything will get worked out! Good Luck!
ok, well i recently just took a vacation to a beach about 20 hours away. On the last day I found a guy who I REALLY like, and I know he liked me. We hung out until about 1-2 in the morning then I had to go back to my hotel room. The morning after I left without seeing him at all. Now here I am at home and I can't stop thinking about him. Anything I say His name is in my sentace. Are there any ways to get off my mind? I can't go back to the beach because, well, I'm only 14, and he's only 14, so we both can't drive.
It's really sweet when you are so young and you fall for a guy. But unfortunately, when you meet a guy away from home, so far away from home in your situation, then it's hard to have anything with him. He was probably a great guy and everything, but things probably couldn't have worked out with you being so far away. You're 14, still very, very young. I'm sure there are just as great guys in your town, just get out there and get to know them. =] He'll always be a memory of yours, so don't totally forget him. But also, you can't waste alot of your time thinking about someone you can't see anymore. =] I know it'll be hard, but you'll get through. Good Luck!
is there a difference between when...
*a guy and a girl hugging when they say hello
*&& a guy and a girl hugging when they say goodbye??
just wondering thanks!
I don't think there is a difference at all. It's all the same, a greeting hug and a departing hug. Same difference, hug isn't changed that I'm aware of.
Whats a good way to impress a guy? I need details people i rate high.
The best way to impress a guy is to just be yourself. Don't do anything out of the way that you normally wouldn't do. You need to be true to yourself and then guys will like you. It shows them that you have confidence. What guy doesn't love confidence? A way to get a guy to notice you though is to talk to him. Come up with a common topic that most people talk about anyway [ such as the football game or an event going on at school ] and spark a conversation with that. Find something that he's interested in talking about and he'll see that you're interested in talking to him period. Sometimes it takes guys awhile to realize that a girl likes them but just keep talking to him and letting him know that you're noticing him, even throw in some flirting and I'm sure everything will be worked out. Good Luck!
ok I guess i'm popular thats what people tell me but I don't think I am ,I mean I don't want to be popular there are rumors about you constantly,people don't like u cause they think that u think your all that ,but i'm not like that. how do I become unpopular please help will rate high
There is DEF. nothing wrong with being popular. I think what you are referring to in your question is a "prep". People are so steriotypical in high school it's unreal. If you are popular on the other hand that's great. That is, if you are popular for the right reasons. If you are mean to people and stuck up then you are probably popular with the thugs and bullies. If you are popular because you are known for being nice and kind and have alot of friends because of this then that's great. Being popular just means you have alot of friends. In high school being referred to as a "prep" isn't such a good thing and it's when you think you are better than everyone. I hope I explained this well enough for ya. =] Hope you get everything worked out and just remember, stay true to yourself and be who YOU want to be, not what everyone else wants.
I hate being shy... How can i overcome this?? I mean i just started HS and i dont want people to think of me as the "shy" one.... HOW do you Become NOT shy! if you help automatic 5
I used to be shy when I was younger and I also HATED it. One day I was just like, "why AM I so shy?" and of course there wasn't a good answer to this. I already had alot of friends, but once you come outta your shell people see the real you. In high school it's really easy to make friends because there are so many people. Basically all you have to do is choose a person and spark a conversation. I'm sure they'll have friends and you'll be introduced to them and then you'll be having fun and goofing off before you know it. Just be yourself and people are going to wanna know you. Good Luck!
I'm a girl. There's this boy, we hang out. He likes me, I'm 98% sure. He was hurt during and after his last relationship for a really long time. While we hang out and cuddle and just be together we talk and he told me that he see's a future with me and it scares him. I didn't necessarily take this as a bad thing. However, the more I think about it, the more I wonder. What are all of your opinions on this?
Second part.
Also, he doesn't seem too ready to date any time soon. Then there's this guy, who I really really used to dig when I was like 15. I'm 18, now. We're friends, but I think he wants to try something more. I like this other guy, in the above paragraph, however, I don't know if I should wait for him, or see if I like this friend of mine. My gut feelings are telling me that I'm young, and should play out both fields. What are your opinions?
K Thanks.
True that you are young, but don't play the fields too much. The friend of yours in the first paragraph is scared to have a relationship because he's afraid of getting hurt again. He's let you know that he sees a future with you, so if you go and try to see this other friend of yours he's going to be hurt. The only thing you can do is figure out which one you wanna be with more. If you still can't figure out which one you like more... sit down with friend #1 and find out when he's planning on moving on and starting a relationship with you. If he doesn't know or it's too long to wait on someone who you don't think you'll be with for awhile then just let him know that you can't put your life on hold for something that isn't going to be there for a long time. Then talk to friend #2 and see what can spark from that one. =] I hope ya get everything worked out. Good Luck!
i dont know whats wrong with me but i need answers. me and my boyfriend dont exactly have the best relationship but im completley in love with him and i trust him, but no matter how many times he tells me, im too insecure to think he wont leave me. i dont think im pretty, no matter how many people tell me i am. i cry everyday..sometimes for no reason. i used to cut myself ..i do sometimes but not any hardcore stuff. i know theres something wrong with me..im thinking bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder. does anyone have anything i could do to help myself or anything at all? thanks :/
First of all I'm really sorry you are going through such a tough time in your life. I suggest that you tell a parent how you are feeling and if you don't want to tell them all the details tell them that you have been feeling really sad and maybe even depressed. Tell them that you think you should see someone [ professional ] that can help you. Once you get a counselor you need to be 100% honest with them so they can help you with the correct treatment. Everything is confidental with counselors and if they don't express that ask them to make sure. As for being insecure and cutting yourself, that's part of your sickness. Remember let the counselor know EVERYTHING. Try to do something good for yourself, something that you WANT to do. Buy a new outfit, makeup or go out with your boyfriend and just have a good time. Do something to boost that confidence! Good Luck with everything!