Hey!
If you're wondering about my user-name, it's actually the name of an awesome book, by the same author who wrote "Does my head look big in this?"
But the title seemed to apply to me, and I actually have a list of the 10 things I hate most about me, it's up on my Myspace if you're curious.
I've been giving advice to my friends and family for as long as I can remember, anything from telling my Dad to stop smoking when I was 3 (He finally stopped when I was 5) to helping out friends whose parents were splitting up.
I've found I have a talent for it, and I was recently awarded the title of "Empath" by one of my closer friends. Apparently this was because of my abilty to understand people and the way they think, and why they do things etc.
When I graduate I plan on getting a degree in pyschology at The University of Western Australia, and possibly moving to either England or the USA to work as a shrink.
Aside from giving advice, I'm into any kind of Rock/Alternative/Metal/Punk music, along with a bit of Hip Hop and R&B. I play acoustic guitar, dance, sing (very badly) and I'm into any form of art.
I'm the middle child in my family, with a younger and older brother who are 10 years apart, the elder being 17 and the younger 7.
So yeah, even though I'm new to this site, I have plenty of experience, so feel free to ask whatever, and I'll help you out to the best of my ability.
Website: My Myspace
E-mail: 10thingsihateaboutme@gmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Western Australia
Occupation: Student
Member Since: April 18, 2007
Answers: 12
Last Update: May 1, 2007
Visitors: 1908
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im 14, neerly 15 nad a girl and was jst wanting to ask if i am a slut. coz a few gurls in my school keep callin my that, and a few boys. well a few months ago i had my first experiance with sex. i was at a boys house with two of his mates and we started messing around, and i gave my first blowjobs to them. and cuple of weeks later i had sex with one of them and now were going out as a cuple, but still hanging out with his mates. some of d gurls in ma school hav had sex too but they r callin me a slut, n ma bf ses it sumtyms when im going down on him. i dont get it coz ppl dont call those girls sluts. am i really a slut? (link)
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Well, technically, the term "Slut" applies to anyone who has sex before marriage, so I guess you would fit under that category.
But it's still an awful and disrespectful thing to say to someone, especially if you aren't one. I'm 14, a virgin, and plan on keeping it that way until my wedding night. And yet even I have been called a slut (Once by a complete stranger, which was quite frankly WEIRD) so don't take those girls too seriously, they're all hypocrites anyway.
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okay so me and my boyfriend decided that we would start leaving each other little surprises in each other's lockers every friday. last week i left him a little bag of hershey's kissables with a note that said "Have a good friday, i love you" and he gave me a butterfly/ heart card with a poem on it. but i'm totally stuck on this weeks project. if someone could give me a list of some cute ideas that would be great. (link)
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You can't go wrong with chocolate.
But I would reccomend putting a personal twist on each gift you give him.
So if you give him a chocolate, make sure it's his favourite, or something from an inside joke. Like I have a friend who thinks he's black (He's caucasian, ha ha) so I would give him white chocolate as a joke. You follow?
And even just a little card with a few lines from a song that say how you feel about him, 2 tickets to a movie he wants to see, get a cute photo of you two developed and frame it.
And I don't know about wherever you live, but over here, in book stores there's always these tiny little books that have stuff like "For my sister" or whatever, and they would have little rymes or sayings about sisters in them. They only cost a few dollars, and there's a few for each situation.
Like there might be a "i love you" one or "For my beloved" or something equally sappy.
But if you find yourself stuck and out of ideas, then just tell him, and give him a wake-up call on Friday morning telling him something sweet instead =)
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16,f
sorry i know its gonna be long but i would appreciate it SO much if you can help me
ive liked this guy, for about a year almost on and off. the only thing is..he has a girlfriend of about 11 months or something!? he always gives me mixed signals though, like im not sure if hes flirting or just being a goof. like tonight we went to the indians basball game with my cousins and the seating went: nick, my cousin, me and my other cousin. and i wanted to sit by nick =) keep in mind he DOESNT know i like him, actually nobody does! anyways my cousins were fighting and nicks like ohh my goddd...kristen lets go sit somewhere else like joking and then hes like no seriously you can come sit on the other side of me. i didnt want to make it too obvious but then after a bit i was like uhhh JEEZE! im moving. so i moved by him! (link)
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Confront him about his mixed signals. You'll feel like a complete dork/freak/despie doing it, but it'll get it out into the open.
Make no mention of your affections to him, just (perhaps even jokingly) suggest that he likes you and can't make up his mind if he likes you or his girlfriend more (Which is possible).
But....you'd be suprised how many girls are in your position. There are just a lot of guys who act like that, flirting and all, with girls they may or may not like.
But, things may be a little weird if you confront him seriously, he seems like a sort of light-hearted person, and something deep like that may throw him off.
So, if you don't want to get hurt, then get over him.
If you're insane (Like me XD) and don't care whether or not you get hurt, then throw your doubt to the wind honey, and tell him how you feel and how much he's hurting you.
But that's a fast track to heatbreak. He might not like you in that way.
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Okay; so i'm Bi, ive known this for a whille now.
i finally told my mom about it. she didn't really say much. but i've ALWAYS hung out w/ Lesbians & Bisexuals. but now she thinks it's a big deal [now that she knows i like girls too].
what the hell.
what should i do/say to her? (link)
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I say this way too often.
Sit down and have a nice loooooong chat with your mom. Explain to her that your sexuality doesn't change who you are as a person...etc, etc.
And I know a lot of people who have this weird, twisted idea of what a gay or bi person is. I know a few, and they're awesome people.
So why not introduce your mom to some of your friends? Let her see that they're not evil, brainwashing monsters who are forcing her precious little girl to do evil things.
And if she's worried about you dating other les/bi girls that you're friends with...WELL THAT'S THE IDEA OF BEING A BI AINT IT?
Explain to her EXACTLY how you feel, and don't let her get a word in until you've finished. GAG her if you have to! Communication is the key.
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Ok So prom is coming up soon. I'm going with this girl because i dont have a date. She and i are friends so its mutual. I'm upset because wanted to have a date with someone i liked but that never happened (many reasons). i feel that i'm going to go all out for prom and have a lousy time. i want it to be a special time for me, because I'm graduating soon.
How can i make this day "special" for me (link)
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The best way to make ANY day special, not just your prom night, is to charge into it with your chin held high and a positive outlook.
I'm being dead serious here.
For example, say one day you were out walking, and it started raining.
Either you could curse the gods for ruining your hair and run the rest of the way, slip in a puddle, bash your head and die.
OR you could smile, laugh and enjoy it.
How often do you get to go walking in the rain?
So, if someone spills a drink on you, laugh (Being tipsy helps your temper a LOT, but no getting drunk) and take a few funny photos of you and your friends covered in unknown substances.
Avoid anyone who looks like they're grouchy, unhappy or just generally bored, and go hang out with some preppy blonde cheerleaders. (No offence to preppy blonde cheerfleaders)
You see where I'm going with this?
You'll only have fun if you WANT to have fun.
And if you're a hopeless romantic who was hoping to meet the love of your life then run away and elope and have some darling little children....
I suggest you sue Disney.
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I'm 14/f and my friend is 14/f [Let's call her June] and my other friend is 15/f [Let's call her Jane].
So, June made a promise to me and Jane saying that she would not do drugs anymore. Well, just yesterday, June came to school high. She took 20 pills of some sort of drug and my other friend had to hold her up in order for her to stay standing up. It was really bad.
I really want to tell her parents or someone because I think she needs help with drug problems because this isn't the first time she's done it. I mean she took some pills last year DURING school. But Jane is really super good friends with June & so she's afraid that June is going to get expelled or suspended. I know that if Jane is a good friend, she'd want her friend to get help. But I can't convice her. I really want June to get help but I don't want Jane getting mad at me along with a few other people.
I'm accepting the fact that losing a friendship is better than to know that the friend is doing drugs and letting her ruin her life. But my other friends aren't and I'm kind of stuck...help? What should I do? (link)
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June does need help, you're right about that. Drugs aren't an easy thing to just give up on your own.
Kinda like chocolate. You promise yourself that you're not going to eat any....But then you decide a LITTLE bit couldn't hurt.
And then maybe just a LITTLE bit more...And then you think "What the heck, I might as well finish what I started" and you end up pigging out anyways.
But if you had a friend there, glaring at you and shaking their head, your guilt would be kicked into gear and chances are you wouldn't eat any.
If June really is your friend and respects your opinion, she's not going to want you to think lowly of her. Have a nice looooooooong chat with HER before going to your superiors.
Explain to her that you have her best interests at heart, and google a few disgusting facts about drugs to back you up.
Jane doesn't have to know about this talk. Usually I wouldn't support keeping secrets from friends, but June really does need help, and if Jane's getting in the way then the easiest thing to do is leave her in the dark.
And if your chat with June works out, then SHE can tell her parents, and ask for help herself instead of having it forced upon her.
But if it doesn't work out, then you'll have no choice but to tell someone who can do something about it. June and Jane and others may be angry with you at first, but (as over-used as it is) they WILL thank you in the long run.
Probably when June's married with 3 kids who WEREN'T born with mental disorders.
But suck it up, a little pain will be worth saving your friend from a lifetime of it.
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There's really not a category for my questiion so I appologize in advance. Anyway, I've had freckles on my face for as long as I can remember. As a kid, everybody thought it was cute, including girls, but I didn't want anything to do with them obviously in 2nd grade or whatever. Now that I'm in college, I don't think that people, including myself, really think freckles are cute anymore. I dont have problems with acne, and I'm in pretty good shape. Do any girls out there think that freckles are a cute thing? (link)
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Personally, I think freckles are awesome. Especially on red-heads.
But it's really a matter of opinion, a lot of people like freckles, but a lot of people dont. Just hang in there and wait for 'the one' who loves you, freckles included =)
But if they really bother you, and you don't like smearing goop (aka: cosmetics) all over your face, then try bleaching them with lemon juice. It dries your skin out though, so I would reccomend you use moisturiser too.
But yes, there are girls out there who completely adore freckles, myself included.
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My closest female friend is always with me. We spend alot of time together. More recently when we are alone we just talk and look giddly at eachother. When laughing, she tends to lean on me and if a song or somthing comes on and we're not talking, she'll lay her head across on my lap (we're in a car). She may even move my hand so that I am holding her, and she gently takes my hand. When we are talking like this or just looking at eachother we are very close (physically). I dont know if she would want me to kiss her, in fact I think about it all the time! Whenever there is an awkward silence and we just gaze at eachother instead of doing anything we just laugh giddly. I am so unsure of what she wants. I know what I want ;-). I would have no problem hooking up with her at the every impulse or at least whenever I read the situation that asks for it. But I don't know if that is what she wants too. I don't want this to be awkward but the constant punding of my head with this confusing situation is driving me crazy! I can't just say, "hey want me to kiss you" because that would destroy any mood at the moment, and who knows! Maybe she is just expecting me to kiss her, and know what she wanted. what does she want, why won't she just say "kiss me" if she really wanted me to. Does that mean she wants to keep the relationship the way it is currently?! Should I just make the move at her and see what happens (We have hooked up before, but she always initiates). It's not that i'm afraid or anything, I just have no 'friggen clue what she wants!
*please also, don't say talk to her about it. because i've tried this. doesn't turn out properly.
so - do i make the move when i think she wants me to kiss her? even though she really hasnt made any suggestion that she wants it
any help at all is much appreciated (link)
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I would say go for it. But go carefully. Wait for the right moment, and make sure you're getting eye contact. When you're sure you're close enough, glance down at her lips, then back at her eyes.
This is the universal 'can I kiss you?' in silent talk. You know....Body language?
If she does the same to you, or closes her eyes, or smiles or nods or does SOMETHING that aint negative, then lean in and give her a VERY light kiss right on the corner of her mouth.
Then pull away and look her in the eyes again.
Do nothing else until you've judged her reaction. If she kisses you back, well then go you.
If not...well then just laugh giddily and change the subject.
If she DOES react positively, then halt the horses before steamy make-out session can continue, and ask her what she would say if you asked to be her boyfriend.
That takes a lot of pressure off the situation than just asking straight-up "Will you be my girlfriend?"
Don't just wait for her to say "kiss me" because it's a rare girl that's capable of being that bold, and chances are it will never happen.
-Leah
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So i'm a teenage girl. My only imperfection is being about 30 pounds overweight. (but i'm an hourglass so it's kind of okay) I've only had one boy call me, and the other 2 were basically guys who I had already asked out, so they called me to sort of verify the date.
The one who asked for my number had a mental disorder- Asburger's Syndrome anyway.
MY POINT IS- Most of my friends have boyfriends, but everyone is automatically unattracted to me. My friend has this perfect boyfriend and she's all perfect. Why can't I be her?
Don't say "oh sweetie it will be fine. everyone feels this way as a teenager." i've heard that to many times.
I'm mortally depressed and i try to hide it but i think most people can see through it. I'm also jealous of anything that someone else has that i don't have. But it's not obvious. I'm very pretty and i have this gorgeous hair that really stands out and everyone envy's. I'm breasty enough too.
So why am I single? i just don't get it.
I only feel okay with myself when I have a significant other. When I do not, I'm pretty much always on the brink of suicide. (link)
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I am sooooo feeling you girl.
I will admit to being a bit chubbier than the average girl my age. I blame my horrible metabolism, because I'm very athletic and eat next to nothing.
But I figured out a loooong time ago, that there's going to be at least ONE guy out there who will love me despite the fact that I struggle a little with my weight.
You're a teenager. You have a long life ahead of you. There's like 6 billion people in this world. That makes about 3 billion guys. Out of those 3 billion guys, you're going to find one who loves with totally and completely, no matter yor figure or insecurity.
Give yourself a self-confidence boost, eat a salad (Or some chocolate, whatever floats your boat) and go for a run and listen to some nice, upbeat music.
You'll feel a lot better for it. Chin up love, and face the darker before the dawn.
-Leah
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13/f
my mom won't let me make my own decisions. I realise that if I screw things up, it'll be my fault & I'll have to suffer my own consequences. My mom explained that whole thing to me and I said I was willing to do that, but then at the end she's all like "ah I'm still not letting you. that was hipathetical" and I'm like WTF.
She thinks that I'll get pregnant or have sex or do drugs. and I already told her that i'm not stupid & i won't do that. All I want to do is go over my boyfriends house, and i'm not even allowed to do that. My boyfriend has been over my house every single time. Now my boyfriend is mad at me because I'm never with him, and everytime we're over my house we're being watched over like a hawk.
I know I'm only 13 but i'm not stupid. And everyone else is allowed to be with boys. I'm even interested in having sex, and my mom says that all boys this age are. Even if it's true, he won't be anywhere near me. My mom is ruining every single relationship I have. (link)
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You can't blame her for caring.
Actually....You can. But that would be selfish and quite frankly, rather bitchy.
I think you should sit down and have a looooong, serious chat with your mom.
My mother and I have this deal going, if I'm still a virgin by the time I graduate, have never taken any drugs or been taken in by the cops, etc. then she'll pay for my University tuition.
If I'm not a virgin and/or have taken drugs, yadda yadda yadda, then I'll pretty much be disowned.
But try discussing a similar thing with your mother, and put it in writing. I have the signed contract (Written on an old shopping list) somewhere in my drawers.
And as for your boyfriend, explain the situation to him. If he really cares about you, he'll understand. If he really does just want you for sex, or just doesn't care or whatever, then it'll be obvious in his reaction.
In which case, you should drop him like a hot cake.
-Leah
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ok so i have been friends with this boy since preschool. were now freshman in highschool. and well i was absent one day and my ex boyfriend talked to him and went to my best friend who i have also known since preschool and told here that richie said he liked me. so my friend that day went to him (their also friends since preschool) and asked him and of course he denied it but he was blushing liek crazy. so the next day i came back and i went to talk to him and im liek ehy whats up? and the normal stuff. and he was smiling the whole entire time. btu then yet he always says he hates me. so i went back to my friends at lunch and then my bff went to him and asked and he denied it again but was blushing like crazy. then a couple of days ago i was walking home and i passed him and he was smiling so much. but he wont admit that he does or if he doesnt. and also he was very upset when iw ent out with my ex boyfriend. hes like hes not good for you you could do better. and hes also the kindof person where he will be scared to go out with me becuase it might ruin our friendship. but im good at keeping friendships if we had one before. so do you think he likes me or? and im not going to go and ask him. i dont have the guts. should i get my hopes up that he does or? and all my friends have always been saying that we would be soo cute together. and at my church we have this group of 4. me my best friend and him and this other guy. well my best friend is going out with the other guy. and ever since we were in the 3rd grade everyone at the church is like ok your gonna marry him and shes gonna marry the other guy. and so far half of that is right. and i sorta want it to come true. but im not sure. im so confused. (link)
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Just ask him straight out "Do you have any feelings for me that are anything other than platonic?"
If he blushes and says 'no' then say "Pity" and walk away. He'll get the idea that you like him and everyone's playing happy families.
If he says 'yes' well then you can just skip to the happy families bit!
It sounds outrageously simple, but often the best solutions to a problem are.
-Leah
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My boyfriend is friends with this girl, and they seem like theyve become closer lately...it all seems innocent, because theyre "friends", for example she went to a hockey game and bought him a souvenier, and he calls her, etc.. This only worries me because I have a hard time trusting him & before he was friends with this girl, he used to like her. She also used to like him. It doesn't bother me if he is friends with her; but more the part that he used to be interested in her, and she used to be interested in him, does bother me. I know i can't tell him who his friends should be, and i've confronted him about "does he still has a thing for her" or whatever, and hes denied it, and she has moved on as well (apparently) but ... like i said i just can't bring myself to trust him because apparently he told his best friend, **who told me**, that he still "kind of likes her". meanwhile hes dating me. ugh. it disgusts me... like i said i wouldnt care if hes giving her attention as friends, but i do care because he used to like her/she used to like him. and it all is perfectly innocent "friendly" stuff, but idk it just bothers me.. what should i do about the whole thing? (link)
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My advice would be to trust him. My best friend is a guy, and we both used to have a 'thing' for each other. We never really acted on it, and both moved on. He apparently still has a 'thing' for me, but he still dates other girls.
But they never care, and neither do I. We both know that neither one of us would ever act on any non-platonic feelings towards each other, simply because we're so much happier just being friends.
Also, have a talk to her about it. Tell her that you feel intimidated (Even if you dont) and she'll probably understand.
If she doesn't, then she's a bitch and you should screw them all and start over with a guy who gives you his 100% percent attention.
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