Is this girl sexually active with more than one partner? If so, you're taking a giant risk (think Booldborne pathogens!)! Direct ingestion of blood puts you at risk of contracting hep c and HIV. You can catch these diseases from someone who has then without direct contact with blood (although new studies show that it is less likely than previously thought with Hep C), but with direct ingestion of the blood of an infected person ups these chances to nearly 100%!

If you're going to get on the freaky-deaky side like this and experiment with playing the Edward Cullen of her menstrual cycle, Miss Foxy strongly recommends that it's with someone that you KNOW is disease free, NOT living a high risk lifestyle, and better yet, someone you are exclusive with so there's ZERO chance of these diseases being introduced.

Depends on the woman, although generally a woman will ovulate for 72 hours approximately 2 weeks after the first day of her period.

the reason that is painful is because the first time you have sex you will likely break your hymen, a piece of skin over part of the vaginal opening. It's different for every person, but most females do experience pain the first time they have intercourse.

The best way for you to reduce the amount of (possible) pain is to use a water based lubricant (even if you use a lubricated condom, add more lubricant) and go at it slowly.

Expect the possibility of some bleeding after the first time you have sex. That's normal; don't freak out.

You should almost definitely see a doctor if you continue to have abnormal bleeding. It may, in fact, have nothing to do with your boyfriend fingering you. There is a possibility that if he were very rough while fingering you that he broke your hymen, or popped your "cherry". However, that would not explain abdominal cramps.

BUT, on one hand, here is what could have happened:

There are many reasons that your period would be lighter that are well within the scope of "normal". Physical activity, especially something as vigorous as "cheer camp" undoubtably is, can definitely cause lighter and shorter menstration.


The bleeding could have been irritation if he was too rough, AND the abdominal cramps could have been caused by ovulation. Did these cramps occur about midcycle (smack dab between two periods)? Many women have slight cramping and sort of premenstrual symptoms during ovulation. It could have been a coincidence that they occured in conjunction with each other.

If you feel concerned about it, and if your cycle continues to be abnormal, or if you have irregular bleeding, your only option is to consult a doctor.

It absolutely does NOT make you gay. Many people, both male and female, enjoy anal stimulation and penetration. As to why she would want to do that- because the idea excited her, perhaps?

There aren't any "health issues" associated with being penetrated by a strap-on, as long as you use lots of lubricant and go at the speed in which you are comfortable. Make sure to let your partner know if something hurts or you are not enjoying it. Communicate!

Remember to use a water or silicone based lube.


If you want more in depth answers, there is a book by a former employee of Toys in Babeland called "Down and Dirty". I definitely recommend the read.

The only time that you can get pregnant is when sperm enters the vagina, period. If no ejaculate came into contact with your vaginal opening in any form or fashion, you have no chance of becoming pregnant.

However, if you were unclothed, and ejaculation occured very close to the vaginal opening, then there is a slight possibility of conception.

Is there such a thing as normal when it comes to sexuality?

Are you asking if this makes you gay? If so, then the answer is no. When you're a teenager, it's normal to be curious about all aspects of sexuality. It's visual discovery! The only way to tell if you are gay or bisexual is if you have sexual feelings/are attracted to members of the same sex. There are many women who are turned on by watching men go at it. There are people turned on by transsexuals. There are perfectly straight males who liked to dress up as women to have sex with their girlfriends.

What one person might call deviance is just another night in the bedroom for another.

There are as many ways to enjoy sexuality in this world as there are human beings. As long as you're obeying the laws of your country and state, enjoy carnality however you see fit!

It's always itchy and sometimes even burns a little the first time you shave down there, rather you are male or female. That will go away soon. You can use a vitamin E gel if the itching and burning is just too much for you.

As you have already been advised, shave in a warm bath and use a new razor. Always make sure you use a gel or lubricant of some kind (the Venus breeze already has the shaving gel on it, and i've heard numerous reports from females and even a couple of males who claim it's great for down there shaving) and go with the grain while shaving your pubic area. This will minimize the chance of ingrown hairs. Using a higher quality razor instead of a disposable will probably be more comfortable for the hair in the more sensitive area. Apply a slightly lighter pressure and as you've been advised, don't be afraid to pull back to get where you need.

Hope this is helpful.

To start off, I will paraphrase the sentiments of Milan Kundera, author of "The Unbearable Lightness of Being." Here I go:

Basically, we are social animals, and being that we are, there are an infinite number of people that we look at and say to ourselves: "I'd do her/him." However, we keep coming back to that ONE, the one we want to build a life and home with. Lust is just that. It's just lust.


So, if he's happy with you and your marriage is working, don't stress over what he's thinking.


Now, to the root of the problem: COMMUNICATE! If you feel like you would like to have sex more often than you currently are, let your husband know how you feel. It is unlikely that he doesn't find you attractive or desireable, but marriage DOES change things. We become so locked in our routines and our other duties in life that sex can often end up being brushed aside. Let him know that you've noticed it. It may not even have occured to him.

Also, I have this suggestion: GO GET 'EM, GIRL! Women are often shy about being the aggressor, but if you want some lovin', tackle it. Perhaps he feels like you are too tired to be bothered with him initiating it, so give him the green light. When watching TV on the couch, let your hands wander to his netherregion, give him a seductive come hither towards the bedroom kiss, or just plain meet him at the door one day and tackle him!


Bottom line is you have to communicate. He can't read your mind. Let him know what you want.

Do not despair, girlchild!

In the words of author Chuck Palahniuk, "Nothing can ever be as good as you imagine it." So true, so true. Sometimes we build sex up in our minds to be this lifechanging, earth shattering thing, and we end up dissapointed. It's a beautiful and wonderful act, but it's not always as much of a pivotal moment as we build it up to be.


As far as having an orgasm: You are not alone! Many, many, MANY women don't experience orgasms until they've been sexually active for many years, and still other women don't EVER experience orgasm. Some women report that they aren't ever able to reach orgasm with vaginal penetration.

There are many reasons why you may not be reaching orgasm. Your mind may be somewhere else, or you may be so focused on getting off that you can't get there in the first place.

I recommend going at it alone: MASTURBATE! Find out what gets you going and where you like to be touched and where your buttons are. Can you reach orgasm by yourself? If you can, communicate with your boyfriend and try to get him near the spots that you hit when you're alone. Perhaps employ the use of clitoral vibrators during intercourse, or have your lover stimulate your clit manually. Also, you can try having sex in the doggystyle or another rear entry position so that your partner hits your G-spot, the area at the lower front of your vagina on your urethral sponge. For information on the different types of orgasms and how to reach them, Tristan Taormino, a former employee of Toys in Babeland, has written an excellent book called Down and Dirty. I highly recommend it----it's pretty much a manual about how to get off.

Most of all, communicate with your partner and let them know what feels good and what doesn't. I can't stress communication enough. It's the most important element.

Good luck!

First of all:

Kudos to you for using your heads and using a condom.

Sometimes these things happen, and it's par for the course if you are sexually active. If you get your next period on time, chalk it up as a learning experience; you're probably not pregnant.

However, if you brought yourself into the world of the sexually active, it's time to deal with the big issue of birth control. If your main worry is pregnancy, you might want to consider getting on the pill, that way if this occurs again your chances of getting pregnant will be dramatically reduced. You should also have a yearly gyno exam and be tested for stds. If you can get to the health department on your own, most states have a birth control program, and they are NOT required to tell your parents nor will they contact you by mail. If you're going to get serious with your love interest, get serious about precautions!

Good going on the condom though, E for effort! ;)

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATON! You're just gonna have to suck it up and bring it out in the open. If you aren't mature enough to talk about sex, you aren't mature enough to have sex. Put your big girl panties on and deal with it.

You are LEAST likely to get pregnant when you are on your cycle. Generally, conception occurs when you ovulate, which is for most women about midcycle (1 1/2-2 weeks following menstration). HOWEVER, there is a small chance that you can get pregnant ANY time of the month. If you skip your next period, get a pregnancy test. If you're right on time, you're fine.

Take in to consideration that while this is the time you are least likely to get pregnant, when you are bleeding you are much more able to contract or spread diseases. Make sure to have yourself STD tested after every partner. If you are going to have unprotected sex with anyone during ANY time in your cycle, make sure that you know that you are both STD free. This is your health here and it should not be taken lightly in the heat of the moment.

In one word: Yep.

It really just means he was excited and into it. It's the blood flowing through his penis---sort of the motion of the heartbeat magnified in his naughties. Completely okay and nothing to be freaked out by.

As far as your period: if your cycle is normally like clockwork, you should see a doctor if it continues to be irregular.

Sounds like you need to be introduced to LUBRICANT!!!

A water-based lubricant is great for masturbation, and any sex act for that matter. There are also silicone based lubricants out there, but they stay on your skin until scrubbed off, so i recommend water based. ID has a great kind out there called Pleasure, but any water based lubricant will work just find. Just stay away from KY if you can: it was originally created for medical exams, not for sexual acts.

I recommend a trip to your local "novelty shop" for masturbation toys, such as vibrators, dildos and "bullets". Always just remember: Lube up and wash everything afterwards, hands and toys!

Is there any possibility you could have an STD? If not, it sounds like he simply hit a bad spot---perhaps hit your cervix? Unless the symptoms continued, it was likely that since the blood was flowing less to your head and more to your naughties, then just like vertigo, you just got a little dizzy from izzie here. If you continue to have pain during sexual intercourse as well as the other symptoms, you HAVE to have yourself checked by a doctor. You can't play with your health. If the symptoms do not reoccur, then write it off and go on. Always make sure to communicate during sex---if it hurts, let him know!

you asked if there was an std that has that symptom---many STDs will cause pain during intercourse. It sounds like you just got bumped the wrong way though, truthfully, and it was your body's response to the flash of pain. If it doesn't happen again, just forget about it.

Anytime you have unprotected sex, you can get pregnant, period.

In regards to getting her pregnant: It's highly unlikely, just always make sure that you don't shoot your load too close to her vaginal area, because there is always a chance that you could get her knocked up if you do. Also, watch out for drippage!! Wash your hands well after you cum before you put your fingers in or near her vaginal area.

I don't believe there is anything wrong with your girlfriend. Make sure that you both communicate openly; if it hurts, let her know it's okay to say so.

The best tool you can use in your sex life is communication. Talk dirty and don't hold back! We're all individuals on what we like and what we don't---if you are both vocal and responsive, you'll have a dynamite time together.

Check out your local health department: most have programs that offer free birth control and yearly exams for women your age. It's a good idea to have yourself STD tested after every partner, of course. You can have this done at your local health department or your family doctor. Planned Parenthood is a good source of information about birth control as well.

There are many options out there; find what suits you best.

At 19 you have almost no problem going somewhere without your mom finding out as long as you can go to the appointment alone or with a friend.

It is very unlikely that you are pregnant if you started your menstrual cycle. If your cycle is normal then it's highly likely that you are not pregnant. HOWEVER, if your bleeding is much lighter than normal and stops after only a few hours, then get a pregnancy test: This could be "spotting", which occurs during implantation, 1-7 days after conception.


When in doubt, get a test.

This column is all about sex and relationships. I started it on the advice of a friend, who insists it should be my job to encourage people in their sexual endevours. ;) Ask anything- NOTHING is off limits!

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