Hey everyone. :) I'm Lindsey, and I'm currently 17 years old. I mostly like to give advice involving sexual health and sexual education, partially because I find it interesting, and also because so many teens aren't as informed as they should be. Please keep in mind that I have no medical training and don't consider myself an authority on any of the subjects which I offer advice on. I do try to provide facts but talking to your doctor is ALWAYS a better alternative to asking someone online.
E-mail: kirkdip1234@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Canada
Age: 18
MSN: kirkdip1234@hotmail.com
Member Since: April 17, 2008
Answers: 73
Last Update: April 2, 2013
Visitors: 4946
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Age16/Female
I've been with my boyfriend for a little over four months and although it's a short time, I'm so in love and he says he's in love with me too. We live a half hour away from each other but we always see each other on weekends and now that summer's here, we'll see each other more :)
We haven't had sex but everytime we hang out, we always end up making out and doing other stuff on my bed. We've been talking about sex lately and we both feel ready and responsible enough. Big problem though: my mom is always home and we have no where else to go where we could be alone, well we can't think of anywhere anyway. Help please! (link)
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If you have to worry about your mom catching you, you are too young to be sexually active. You need to obey your parents rules until you no longer live with them.
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i hate being fingered. i can never get past the "need to pee" feeling and make my boyfriend stop. - but i hear that anal is better. does it hurt more for the girl or less?
i'm just curious. (link)
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Personally, I absolutely hate being fingered. I don't think it's even a little pleasureable, it does nothing for me. However, I do occasionally like anal. It all comes down to personal preference, but for me, as long as I relax and use lots of lube, it can be kind of fun. But that's just my perspective :)
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Is sex (in marriage) for a Christian just for reproduction? I am a Christian and I don't plan on having sex before marriage. So is sex for a Christian not allowed for anything but reproduction? (link)
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Wow. The person who posted prior to me, couldn't have said it better. Amen x 3.
Although I wouldn't go as far as to criticize the contents of the Bible, certain church organizations do, in my opinion, use its contents to excercise control over people. And to say the least, that's really sad. It's certainly not up to them, or anyone else outside of your marriage. The deciding factors should have to do with what your husband wants, want you want, and without a doubt, what God wants.
But as for what exactly God wants, I'm hardly an authority on the manner. You have to talk to Him, and seek His advice through both scripture and prayer. Ultimately you will come to your own conclusions, as everyone interprets His words differently. As long as you're trying to include Him in your choices and in your marriage, you're on the right path.
For me personally, I would tend to agree with the last post - God created men and women (bound by marriage) to enjoy eachother. He has blessed us with the ability to be incredably intimate, and if He didn't want us to enjoy it to the fullest, there probably wouldn't be so many crazy hormonal and chemical reactions going on in our body when it happens! Nothing about our design is an accident. It isn't some dirty physical act, but a spiritual and emotional bond that our bodies happen to facilitate. The Bible does forbid lustful thinking, but I think what one feels for a spouse is (hopefully) far beyond the description of 'lust'. As long as the sexual activity is powered by LOVE, I think it must be sanctioned by God. Love is the greatest gift He gave us, so anything done out of love for eachother is just plain awesome. :)
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just a few questions about shaving your clit..
1) do you only shave downward?
2) how do you avoid red bumps?
3) how many days after you shave should you wait to shave again? (link)
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Women do not grow hair from the clitorus. If you aren't old enough to identify your own body parts, you probably not old enough to be shaving them.
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My boyfriend likes when the girl is on top and he likes when they take charge and are really aggressive....well..i'm shy, and quiet. I've thought about pushing him onto the bed, holding him down and having my way with him but when it comes down to it and we're actually together..i dont know, i just dont do it. I'm not against it, I want to be more aggressive but I don't know how. (link)
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I used to have the same problem! Both my boyfriend and I are naturually more submissive, but SOMEONE has to take the role of dominant. One thing that really helped me get over the self-consciousness and nervousness is simply turning the lights off. When you get a little more secure in this new role, you can turn 'em on again. Another thing that I found really sexy, is blind-folding him and tying him up. ^^ He was completely at my mercy but at the same time I didn't feel uncomfortable, because a lot of it came from having him look at me. It's harder to just enjoy when you're trying to look sexy while doing it! And once you've discovered how much fun being the aggressive one can be, it'll just come naturally.
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Okay , So i am pregnant at 14!!! I am a christan and i no i was not suppoed to do this but i was broght into temptation.. and i am not sure how to tell my parents or my church family? Will i have to move to a different church? (link)
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I just want to say that, unless there's an entirely different adoption system in place where you live, TheTruth is wrong about adoptive parents just randomly being able to decide you can no longer see your child.
Basically, there are two types of adoption, they are an 'open' adoption, which is when the adoptive parents are obliged to send you updates and information about your child, and you are able to choose if you want to spend time with/have contact with him or her. In agreeing to an open adoption, the adoptive parents are agreeing to the biological parents playing some kind of role in the childs life.
The second is a closed, or private, adoption. This is when the adoptive parents and the biological parents both agree that it would be more suitable for the biological parent to not be part of the childs life in any way.
I'm just adding this in because I think it's important that you know that adoption doesn't necessarily mean somebody is just going to take your baby away forever. There are various options & if you're considering it, you can research the best one for you and discuss what the father might also prefer.
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im 19/f and have been with my boyfriend for over a year now. We've had sex quite a few times but we just had a very intense talk recently and he has decided that we won't be having sex until my views change. Im personally against abortion, but thats just me. Other people can do it, I just wouldn't be able to handle it. When we have sex we use condoms and Im on the pill. He's just so worried that something will go wrong and i'll end up pregnant and we both arent ready for kids. I just don't think its fair that I have to change my beliefs to make love to my boyfriend. We're pretty much 100% safe. If anything did go wrong, I'd pick up some plan B the next morning. He's just so afraid we'll be that unlucky 0.1%. I don't know what to do... (link)
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Personally, I think your boyfriend has a point. I don't believe in abortion myself, but you guys should have been having this discussion BEFORE you started having sex. I think that if you're mature enough to be having sex, you should be mature enough to make a plans in case something unexpected happens. And if you can't agree, perhaps you need to abstain. As someone cited before, it wouldn't be fair to your partner to have his life complicated by an unwanted child. And it wouldn't be fair to you to have to raise a child without the support of its father.
But it's not as though abortion vs. raising the child are your ONLY options. There is always adoption. Yes, that's 9 months of your life you won't get back, but it's so that you can give your baby a life and a family. In my opinion, that's a small price to pay.
Some excellent 'selling points' for adoption are that you're not financially responsible for that child, but if you look into an open adoption, you can have contact with them & watch them grow up. Ultimately, the adoptive parents would have the final say when it came to how they were raised, but you would be able to be part of your childs life.
There is also the option of closed adoption, where the biological parent chooses not to have contact with the adoptive family or the child.
There are so many families out there just praying that someone will choose them to adopt their baby. And like I said, it's nine months of your life. If your boyfriend weren't ready to be a father, and you weren't willing to bend your beliefs, adoption could be a possible compromise.
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ok i am a girl. i have never had an orgasm from sex or masturbation or anything like that.
this is totally weird and i dont know what is what but the other night i woke up in the middle of the night and i honestly felt like what i would think an orgasm felt like that....i have no idea...then it happened again last night...can any one explain? (link)
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Yes, that was probably an orgasm. I had that happen to me once as well, when I was around 16, and I immediately looked it up and read all about it :P.
It does happen more commonly for boys, but it isn't impossible for women. It is much more rare.
Interestingly enough, most boys have sexual dreams prior to this happening, whereas most women who experience it do not. Suddenly your body just.. goes off. Anyways, it's nothing to worry about.
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17/f
what are you suppose to do after sex? i know it might sound weird asking but i just dont know. so you have sex and when your done what do you do? just get dressed? and just be like okay well it's done...? i know it's different for many people but i was just wondering what people do after they're done having sex with their boy!! also is it going to hurt AFTER having sex, and if so how long will that pain last? thanks!! (link)
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Personally, my boyfriend and I normally lay in bed for a bit and snuggle, then get up and have a shower together. Afterwards we curl back up in bed all warm and wet, pop in a movie and just chill out and enjoy eachothers bodies for a while. ^^ It's nice.
But it really does depend on your relationship. Personally, I'm not a fan of clothes. I'll stay naked pretty much until I have to leave. But if you aren't as comfortable, or maybe don't have a very intimate relationship with your partner, then you might just get dressed and continue with your day. Every couple is different.
As for the pain thing, that is definately unique to every woman. Personally, I was never sore or uncomfortable after having sex. There was a stinging pain when he entered me and for a while during, and then it just kind of faded away into pleasure. Even now it still hurts a little when we start, but it's a good hurt, if that makes any sense. However, I have friends who I know have never experienced any pain from sex, including when losing their virginity. Others have complained about being sore afterwards. It really just depends on your body.
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I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time and I didn't enjoy it at all, or the next time, or the next time. Is there something wrong with me? Yeah, the first time we did it, it hurt at first but after the pain went away I still didn't enjoy it. It wasn't pleasurable and it wasn't him I don't think I just didn't enjoy it. And I was kind of anxious to try it again to see if it'd be any better but it wasn't. Does it take time, or am I weird... or what?
(link)
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Yes. That is totally normal. It takes time for a lot of reasons, and to be honest, some women never truly enjoy sex. It's all about the comfort level, and how well you know eachother. If it doesn't feel good, try something else! You both have to be willing to experiment and find what works for you. There are so many different ways that people find to experience sexual pleasure, and although I can't give you explicit advice on here- just know, there's something out there for everyone. If you're honest with him, you guys will find it eventually. :)
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My really good friend, lets call him 'SAM' was
talking to me on MSN 2day. We got talking about
nothing... like i should go back out with my ex, shit like that.
anyway, as a joke he sujested me, him & my
bestfriend -lets call him 'BILL'- had a 3sum, so i said "haha, yeah but i dont think he'd go 4 it"
And it went on from there.
Like he really wants this.
Whereas im not sure, i do want it. but, I'm sorta
scared that me & my bestmate wont be BESTmates
anymore...
Please dont say things like "if you dont want it
dont do it"...
because i do want it.
I'm just uncertain...
i need a few opinions.
(link)
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First of all, I want you to know that I've been in a similar situation on a few occasions. In each case I went forward with it and had the threesome, and all of my experiences with that were quite negative. Like the person before me mentioned, it can be really destructive to friendships. And for me, a level of intimacy is lost that is so crucial when it comes to having sex. Somehow it just feels impersonal, and I always walked away feeling a bit used and cheap.
But that aside, I know I can't talk you out of it if it's something you really wanna do. It's may be something you just have to find out for yourself, and who knows, your experience could be different then mine were.
I would say, if you're really considering going through with it, try having sex with both individuals seperately a few times. Build up the comfort level a bit before you throw yourself into the situation totally unprepared.
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Hi me and my bf have been sexually active for some years now and I love him very much, unfortunately My stamina in bed SUCKS. I get tired and my legs are shaking within the first 10 minutes and he ends up doing all the work. I would love to be more involved with our sex life but I find it hard to find positions or movements that don't tire me out so much. Anything you can suggest?!?!? (link)
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Well if you've been sexually active together for years, one would assume you've tried most positions. But I do have a suggestion: excercize! The best way to build stamina is to work the muscles used in a particle position. For example, for basic 'cowgirl' one might work on the thigh and ab muscles. Some simple exercises you can fit into your day for the thighs are: walking on an incline (so if there are some hills between you and work, a great way to improve the environment AND your sex life would be to walk or jog!), or, if you're willing to start visiting a gym/have the equipment at home, squats and leg extensions are ideal.
The easiest way to build your ab muscles is simply to do cruches whenever you have a free five minutes.
In my opinion, if 10 minutes of physical excercize is makung you shaky and exhausted, then it isn't just your sex life that's in danger! Physical fitness is crucial to a healthy lifestyle, and lack thereof can lead to all sorts of medical complications. You will find that every aspect of your life improves with your health, so it really is worth the effort.
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is it better to have sex with lights on or off? dont give me the "it depends, or either" just sayy wich is better. lights on, or lights off. (link)
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Despite your request, it REALLY DOES depend on what you're most comfortable with.
Personally I prefer to have the lights on, for me it's so much sexier to be able to see my partner and have him see me. But again, it comes down to what you'd like.
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whenever myself or my boyfriendstimulate my clitorus it feels really uncomfortable like 99.9% of the time
any ideas why this could be? (link)
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You didn't really elaborate on whether you have tried clitoral stimulation on your own, so I'm going to answer two different ways based on whether you have or have not:
If you haven't: The best way to find techniques that work for you is to experiment on your own. Once you know yourself, you can show your boyfriend a better way of doing it. There's nothing to wrong with experiencing your own body, nor is there anything wrong with giving him a little advice.
If you have: Simply show him the way you do it. I know from experience that some men apply far too much pressure to the clitoris. Teach him to be gentler. If your relationship is a healthy one, he won't be insulted or hurt. He'll just appreciate the chance to give you more pleasure.
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13/Female I have streach marks on my thighs and Boobs and I wanna get rid of them... anyone wanna help?
I'm a size 3/4 and my boobs r 36 D...like people make fun of me for it becuase I wear like tang tops and like I always wear jackets becuase like I'm so self consens or w/e (link)
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I used to have those as well, on my breasts especially. You can go to your local Drug Store and purchase creams which, if you apply them daily, will slowly lighten your stretch marks to the point where you can barely see them. Just browse for a bit, there are lots of products created specifically for women with your problem. Anything containing a lot of Vitamin E will be most useful.
Also, time fades stretch marks and eventually they will disapear. A lot of women get them as they are growing during their teen years, but they're often gone by the time you hit adulthood.
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how do you know if your having an orgasim?I just think if ur satisfied after words then you good. (link)
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Orgasms are different for everyone, but you will definately feel a few seconds of very intense pleasure, and your muscles will tense. But your attitude is a good- sex isn't just about the orgasm!
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Does it hurt when u get fingered with clothes on? (link)
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..I've never had that done, but I wouldn't suggest it. It wouldn't even be possible for him to insert his fingers if there is a thick fabric in the way. If the fabric is thinner it may be possible, but what's the point exactly? If you don't want to take your clothes off, a more pleasurable alternative would just be having him stroke the outside of your vagina through them, especially in the area of your clitoris. In this case as well thinner fabric would be better.
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if you suck someones dick? without a condom. like what COULD happen... i just need to know. would anything happen at all.. he said he has no STDs.. what if he does? please help me out.. i want to know what might happen before i do it. thank you
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Just because he CLAIMS he has no STD'S, that doesn't mean it's true. Until you've seen papers proving that he has been tested, and the test results were clean, do not proceed without a condom. It is possible that you will be infected with an STD.
Even WITH a condom it is still possible, because some STD's, such as herpes, are not just on the penis but on the surrounding area as well.
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My penis size is 5.5 inches when erected. if i dont have sex for three motnhs, then is it possible to increase my penis size?. my age is 37 years old. please advise.
thanks (link)
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..No, there is no proven and safe way to increase your penis size. Not having sexual intercourse will not effect it. I'm not sure where you got the idea, but rest assured, there is no evidence saying that it would do anything but leave you very sexually frustrated.
Some men try penis pumps, which do increase the width, but the effect doesn't last more than a few hours and can cause very negative side effects to your health such as the rupturing of blood vessels. This can very seriously damage your penis and I would not suggest trying it.
There are also products on the market such as pills you can order which are supposed to increase your size, but those have been proven over and over again to NOT work. These would prove to be a huge waste of money.
In short, just be happy with your body! 5.5 inches is a totally normal size, and that aside, any partner who is worth anything will not be focused on your size. If you feel inadequate, concentrate on being a caring and sensitive lover and trust me, how big it is will be the last thing on your partners mind.
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i hear people talking about getting/givving abe lincolns, getting brown and red hawks, golden showers...ect. i know theres alot more. what do all of these mean plus the ones that i didnt list? (link)
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Try urbandictionary.com, a website where people can submit definitions of slang terms. 'Abe Lincoln' and 'Golden Shower' are defined there, however Brown and Red Hawks are not. (I've never heard that term either, you may have your slang confused..)
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