my best guyf riend two years ago and i stopped being friends like 6 months ago cause we became friends with beenfits and it just stopped working out. we got into way to many fights. now he wants to be my friend again and said we can forget teh past but im scared i dont want to get hurt again i cried over him forever. i decided im going to be his friend but if somehting happens again how can i handel it matturely without making a huge deal about it and dreading not being his friend?
"if somehting happens again how can i handel it matturely without making a huge deal about it and dreading not being his friend?"
There is NOTHING immature about feeling hurt. It's a GOOD thing. When someone treats you like a squeeze toy as opposed to the beautiful, caring, intelligent girl that you are, you SHOULD feel bad.
That being said, if you want to give him another chance, go ahead. Just make sure you talk to him about all of these feelings and worries. Don't try to ignore the past hurt - it was valid.
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My Life is Under So Much Pressure Right Now. I Honestly Don't Know What To Do. I Have So Many Guy Problems And Problems With Friends. I Always Let Myself Down After I Lose The Stupidest Things and Im So Stressed I Cant Control My Anger! I Need To Learn How To Manage My Time, Be Happy With Myself And Have Time To Breath For Once.
Trying to be happy is probably the fastest way to stress yourself out. Attempting to manage your time can put restrictions on your day.
You need to try being more flexible. Do what you feel like doing, and don't worry about trying to make yourself happy. That will come if you just relax.
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im 16 and i was at a local show (a.k.a concert) and i met a guy who was 19.its a little less then a month later and we talk on aim and texting like everyday. he wants to hang out sometime but i told him cuz of the age diffrence i'd have to ask my mom. but my mom is GOING to say no. and i dont know how to convince her. i'll feel dumb telling him my mom has to go with us or somtin. but my mom is REALLY REALLY protective. everyone says give up and dont bother. but any ideas how to convince her?
were just friends-nothing more
The age difference shouldn't matter, especially not if you are just friends.
I suggest you talk to your mom and explain the situation to her. If she isn't okay with it, try suggesting that you meet up with him in a big group, in a public place, etc. Talk about it with her and come up with a solution you can both live with.
Also, kudos to you for being honest with the guy in saying that you would have to discuss the situation with your mom before seeing him - that's definitely the best thing you could have done.
Good luck =)
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13/f
i have an old friend that i had for about 3 years in middle school and we were very close. almost like sisters. wel we had a few fights like most friendships and that was fine and wed stop talking every once in a while. she would get mad at me for talking to ANY other girl and thats what bothered me the most. i dont know if i should let it bother me so much that we r not friends anymore. but i am a little scared on her reputation now. shes been smokng and shes only in 7th grade and shes becoming a WAY different person
now that i have new friends though it doesnt btoher me that much. but it wouold be nice if i could talk to her and just be cool
any advice?
thank u=]
Wow, that is really rough. Things are only going to get worse for this girl. I suggest talking to her. Let her know exactly what you are feeling - that you are concerned for her well being and that you would like to be her friend again. It might not work, and it will definately be scary to talk to someone who isn't really your friend anymore, but trust me: when this girl's life becomes really horrible (which it sounds like it will), you will feel better knowing that you did whatever you could to help her.
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i have a wonderful friend that i love with all my heart. but her and her old friend became really good friends again. and im okay with her old friend but i think shes a bad person for her to be hanging out wtih. i mean she smokes and does drugs. and has a reputation as a hoe, and she lies ALOT to my friend. dont get me wrong i think shes cool and everything but i just dont want my friend to turn into her or get her reputation. any advice?
thanks
Wow, is this ever a dangerous situation. You are absolutely right to be worried about your friend. If a person starts hanging out with someone who is a bad influence, it's a sign that they don't care about their own well being as much as they should. Let your friend know what you that you are concerned, and do not hang out with them when they are together. You cannot control what your friend does, but you can voice your opinion and keep your own friendships clean.
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my friend and i have been best friends for ever,but shes gettting on my nerves. she is so annoying all she does is talk about guys. theres even a i hate:blank club all my other friends hate her what do i do i dont want to hurt her and i dont wanna gove up are relationship tottaly i just want space...kinda for awhile ???
You've been best friends 'forever", but you are considering seeing her a lot less all because she talks about guys? Your friendships should mean more to you than that. Why would it bother you so much anyway? I suggest you let your best friend talk about whatever she wants. If she is important to you, you should be able to accept her for who she is (unless of course these guys are mean/rude/uncaring towards her).
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all the guys in mygrade hate me. they think im a whore cause i dress slutty but i dont mean to. I have no idea what i am doing wrong! i am so sad. please just help all you can
Don't dress to impress, at all. I know you might think you feel comfortable in what you are wearing now, but I don't know why you would. Try dressing for comfort.Wear loose fitting clothes, t-shirts with funny sayings on them, jeans, etc. If you wear what feels good instead of what you think will look the best, you'll feel a lot better about yourself. And forget the guys, they are immature.
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one of my friends is ali and ive known her ever since kindergarten. well i also play on a soccer team with her.
another one of my friends, but not as close, is rachel.(i go to school w/ her, but not w/ ali)
well just recently, we needed one more person on out soccer team to play in the league. so i ask rachel if she wanted to play with us and she said yes
well ali and rachel didnt really know eachother very well, but i introduced them
they have known eachother for about a month and a half now. (im also good friends with rachel's sister, alexa)
when i called alexa one day, she told me that she was at the mall w/ ali and rachel
at first i was kind of "shocked" that they were hanging out with ali, but it didnt really matter
well then i looked at rachel's myspace and ali was her top friend and in her heroes section, it talks about how ali is her "wifey" and they have a pet whale or something like that (i know that myspace doesnt mean a lot, but still.)
i guess im getting kind of jealous because i feel like they dont even know eachother and they are ditching me to hang out with eachother
is it wrong to feel like this? it just sucks really bad because i feel like they "shouldnt that good of friends"
so what do i do? i just feel so left out
(and i asked rachel if she was friends with ali now, and she just shrugged and said "i guess so")
:(
This is a GOOD thing! Now you can all hang out together. The more the merrier. They aren't going to stop being friends with you, they are probably going to spend MORE time with you.
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My best friend has been really upset lately, and every time i ask what is wrong, she says nothing. but im not stupid, i know when something is wrong. should i just leave her alone, or should i keep asking her what is wrong? i know she wants me to know, she just wont tell me. i know this because she will half bring up that she is upset and then drop it. im pretty sure i know what it is, and i want to help her, but she wont let me. idk, what do u think? thanks,
Keep asking. If your friend is bringing it up that she's upset, she obviously wants your support. And if you have a suspicion as to why she's upset, it would be a good idea to ask her if your suspicions are right. Be direct, and try to figure out what's wrong. Unless she tells you to stop, in which case, stop.
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14/f. I have started talking to this boy G, I've always thought he was cute, but then I started talking to him and his personality is great! I really really like him, I have hinted around about be more than just friends but he laughs like its a joke so do I so I won't look stupid, but my question I want advice on is "How can I tell him I want to be more than just friends?" I am really good friends with his brother if that helps. Thank you guyss and girls haha
Just tell him straight up; be direct.
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Alright so last year (sixth grde) i became friends with a few of the (lastyears 7th) grade class. But i especaially became close with this kid Ryan. And so we would hang out once and a while outside of school, always hang out at school, and call eachother like everynight, and talk on myspace and IM alot too. But now hes in 8th (hes leaving next year because i go to a jewish school and it only goes up to 8th) and hes starting to ignore me alot. Never calls, never IMs even when he knos im online, and same w/ myspace!! And every now and again he'll talk to me for five seconds and then leave for his class friends. And same with the other kids in his class, i mean basically hes the only one that knows me and my friends exist anymore,the other guys dont even look at us! So i tried calling him lastnight and it was probably the most one-worded okward conversations of my life! And we could used to talk for hours and hours! I dont get it!!?? Please help me so i dont loose one of my BEST friends! !
thnks a bunch
--Kay Anderson
I wish that I knew how to make best friends stay, but I don't. But, I do know that when people ditch a friend it isn't because they don't care anymore, it's because they want something different for their lives. Just remember that. Also, try to get involved in some kind of activity to take your mind off the end of your friendship.
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okay sorry this is so long,
i met my best friend jess now 4 years ago. best friends since with only a few fights here and there over stupid things.everyone knows we fight then are best friends again. well 8months ago she found this kid and fell head over heals for him. he was a jerk to me and i started being one to him and i hated him and i told her that many times. well we started fighting more and more like once a week over things all leading back to her boyfriend and stuff. now its been almost a year and she has been changing more and more. she used to be the perfect best friend the one everyone dreams about. now she couldnt be worse. lets just say i have a 34 just about c cup and the friends she invites over are pervs and well they somehow started grabbing my boobs, it didnt really bother me for some reason but it bothered jess. the other night she had 8 guys over and all of them were on me i couldnt do anything it was 8-1 but she FLIPPED out. friday night there were a few people over and one of them wanted to play spin the bottle for whatever reason and (before everyone got there she got mad at her bf because he got grounded but was able to go over that night but he was with his friends so she was like oh im gonna flirt so much tonight and said it again when we got home) well she didnt play and was by herself so i was like jess come play! and she started screaming at me in front of everyone! well that was it she was pissed at me all ngiht. so last night she imed me and i had been ignoring her in school not that i see her much but i didnt even look at her whe i did. and we got into a major fight, she was saying im turning into the typical "freshman sluts" and that ive changed and my morals are messed up and that i care more about the guy next to me than my girlfriends (totally not true i could care less about the guy next to me) none of that was true at all! all that stuff is true to her like shes becoming the slut and cares about the guy next to her. not me, everythign she said about me was what i would say about her!! shes losing her good friends shes had for years like me and she doesnt realize it, ive tried talking to her but she doesnt believe me and other people have to and it ends up with us fighting. i dont know how to change her back since i cant talk to her. i just wasnt o have her and her bf break up and get things back to normal
Okay, you need a major reality check. You are being a horrible friend, on many levels. Let's just start with the part where you said your friend is a slut. That is just plain wrong. Her having a boyfriend doesn't make her a slut. Actually, having a boyfriend is perfectly moral and accepted in our society. However, letting eight guys on you at once, letting random "pervs" touch you and playing spin the bottle and then flaunting it in your friend's face, well yeah, that's just plain messed up. It's obvious you are jealous because your friend has an actual relationship while you are being used as a squeeze toy. To be honest, that's your own fault. You deserve much better than what you are accepting from guys. As far as her putting her boyfriend above you, that is probably a wise decision, given the fact that you are acting so immature.
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God me and my mom dont agree on anything
Whenever were out together, we argue about everything. Even when she tries to be nice it seems like shes trying 2 make me feel bad. I just hate being around her. And its so horiable. Shes my mom fo gods sake. Wer not suposed 2 be like that. Wer suposed 2 agree on somthing. Anything involving any sort of opinion we fight about. She dosent agree with anything i think. It makes it so hard 2 be around her. Help me please. How do i fix this?
Shes unwilling to admit we have a problem. She just laughs and apologizes and tries 2 cover it up.
13/F btw
Other than trying to avoid conflicts, there's nothing you can do. Just be nice and respect her opinion even if you don't agree with it. You are two different people, there's no reason you should be thinking the same way as each other.
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Okay people I hang out with, just like companions are **joking** about me and its pissing me off.
They talk about my weight(yes im fat) my neck (which is black) and if they'd go out with me or not. Yeahh there guys. They also do it to my BBF Becky. But shes not fat and doesnt have a black neck... they said they'd go out with her if she was skinners blonde and has less achne. But the main person who does this is a gorrilla!
Im tired of it! I have anger management problems I dont know how to conduct my emotions in a good way and the next time he or any of them say something im gunna haul off and smack a HOE! They get all surprised when im upset.. and im tired of them acting like im not even there.
Ive tried breaking away, but they fucking fallow me! Just like moths to light!
Err anything would be good, because I dont want ISS..
Don't let people talk about you badly, EVER. You should get mad at them; they deserve it.
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Okay, I myself being a columnist hate it when there is more than one question to be answered clumped into one question. So, anywhos, I'm asking it as a separate question.
I'm 15/f(Sophomore). Bob and Betty are 16/f (Juniors) I met Bob through Betty and Betty and I are really good friends. Betty doesn't have feelings for Bob. Bob used to or still does have feelings for Betty. Bob just now, though, said he likes me as in like me, like me. And I told my friend to tell him that I was neutral (or at least I hope it sounded like I was neutral. Or at least it didn't sound like I didn't like him)
I'm pretty sure that I like him. It's just that I'm really worried about hurting him or damaging our friendship. I'm basically an emotional wreck with a 100lbs of mess and trouble hooked to the back of me. I really do want to go out with Bob, which is hard to do seeing that my mom doesn't like Bob and that he goes to another high school. But our school has a lot of events Bob can come to...Anywhos! Back to the point. Should I take a chance with Bob or just I don't know. Tell me what I should do. I really don't want to hurt him or the friendship but I know that in the end, nothing good ever lasts. And I don't know. I like him. But my fear of hurting him/friendship prevents me from letting me get in a relationship with him.
I don't know. Help?
If you're confused, help me help you by asking me to clarify parts your confused on. Thanks =)
Bob sounds like a good guy. The fact that you are already friends is a bonus for your relationship; there's actually more chance things will work out because of it. Don't be afraid of loosing him as a friend. He likes you. He isn't someone who's out to loose you. Even if you dated and then broke up, you could still be friends. It would all depend on what you want. Don't reject Bob for fear of being rejected by him later.
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Tell him that I'm on the verge of certainty and uncertainty on whether or not I like him and I don't want to go either way right now because either way I go, I'll probably end up hurting him or something terrible will happen because it's me & I come along with a 100lbs of trouble and misery. And that I'm just feeling really stupid saying/making you (as in you, Matt) do this for me. And that I'm not accepting or rejecting and that I'm a neutral little wanna be mosher.
Does that sound like a
"Yes, I like you back, but I don't want to hurt you"
"No, I don't like you and I'm making all this crap up."
"I'm neutral. And I can't decide."
???
Well, here's the story. Bob and Betty are really awesome friends. And from what Betty told me, Bob used to be (is still?) madly in love with her. But Bob's parents don't like Betty and Betty doesn't like Bob more than a friend would like a friend. Well, Betty & I were talking about this over summer & we both agreed that either of us could see Andrew as being more than a best friend. Well, I think my feelings for him have changed since then. I mean I get really happy when I think of him and I want to see him 24/7 (he goes to another school so I don't see him at all) but I think that I'm denying that I like him just so that I won't end up hurting him??? Does that make sense? Anyways, Bob told me like 10min ago that he likes me, like really likes me. And I was just like "Eek! what do I do?!?!" And I was just replying with stupid remarks that didn't really respond to his saying "I like you" just to avoid answering him (thank goodness for my ADD-ness) And so before I logged off, I IMed Matt with that little paragraph on top and told him to give that to Andrew as soon as I log off. And I logged off telling Andrew to wait 10seconds.
Not quite sure will happen until later on tonight or tomorrow. Umm, yeah.
Sooooo...what I told Matt to tell Bob ... what does it sound like I'm saying? Like from a guys perspective (and yes, you can be a girl to answer. I couldn't care less)
Thanks!
15/f
PS..if it helps, Bob and Betty are juniors and I'm a sophomore in high school???
OPTION 1:"Yes, I like you back, but I don't want to hurt you"
Not quite believeable. Telling someone you don't want to be with them out of fear of hurting them HURTS.
OPTION 2:"No, I don't like you and I'm making all this crap up."
Definately not believeable. Why would you put all that effort into lying to someone you don't even like?
OPTION 3:"I'm neutral. And I can't decide."
Sounds about right.
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my boyfriend and i have been together a year and this past month has been really bad, we have stopped really talking and such(and yes we are intimate)but last night was homecoming and we just stood there it felt really weird, i was wondering if yall have any ideas on how we can rebuild our friendship.(breaking up is not an option) thanks :]
Tell him you want. Explain that you want to actually be friends with him, not just someone to have sex with. It's hurtful when your boyfriend doesn't spend time with you. Let him know that.
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My name's Kaity, and my best friend (who's a guy) is so sweet. There's only one problem: his friend. He hangs out with this girl named Marge who's a really mean person. She says some hurtful things because she really speaks her mind (I'm not saying there's anyting wrong with that, but I just wish she would be more sensitive to other peoples feelings). I wish I could tell him he shouldn't hang out with her, but i cant choose his friends for him, can I? What should i do?
You should enjoy the time you have left with your best friend, because this Marge person sounds like the kind of person who doesn't care about hurting people. That kind of person would also have no problem stealing your best friend away from you. I know that might seem far-fetched to you right now, but it isn't. Do your best to keep away from this Marge person.
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There is this sboy who loves me and he hates my bffs and they hate him but i kinda like him but when i hang out with him my bffs will get mad at me!!!! And when i just dont talk to him all my friendsd not bffs they get mad at me cause there friends with him idk help help
Your friends are being snobby and immature. Tell them you like him and go for what you want.
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ok i dont know what to do. i like this guy and him and all his friends found out last year. well its been a couple months and i still like him. but it doesnt seem he has any interest. but we have never really hung out...now the problem. his best friend likes me and liked me before they even knew who i liked. i was told by the best friend(the one who likes me) that the guy i like doesnt have any interest in me. for some reason though i cant move on. i dont know who to believe or what to do. o ya and the guy i liked i have liked for over 2 years. what do i do??
There's nothing you can do except wait it out. You'll sort through all of your feelings in time.
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