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best guy friend
my best guyf riend two years ago and i stopped being friends like 6 months ago cause we became friends with beenfits and it just stopped working out. we got into way to many fights. now he wants to be my friend again and said we can forget teh past but im scared i dont want to get hurt again i cried over him forever. i decided im going to be his friend but if somehting happens again how can i handel it matturely without making a huge deal about it and dreading not being his friend?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
It's totally normal and understandable to be upset after being friends-with-benefits with someone you were so close to and then, it seemed like it was all thrown away. You are not in the wrong, nor are you immature, so please, do not feel that way.
Since you've already decided to be his friend, I suggest talking it over with him and letting him know exactly how you're feeling. Tell him not to toy with you or your emotions and keep it strickly friends - no benefits (you'll be much more apt to get hurt again, that way).
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"if somehting happens again how can i handel it matturely without making a huge deal about it and dreading not being his friend?"
There is NOTHING immature about feeling hurt. It's a GOOD thing. When someone treats you like a squeeze toy as opposed to the beautiful, caring, intelligent girl that you are, you SHOULD feel bad.
That being said, if you want to give him another chance, go ahead. Just make sure you talk to him about all of these feelings and worries. Don't try to ignore the past hurt - it was valid.
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When it comes to relationships, there are boundaries. Some boundaries are worth crossing, and some boundaries should never be crossed. Once you cross a boundary, more often than not, you can never go back. If you want to handle any future situation maturely, you must first look at the present situation realistically. You said you've decided to be his friend, but how much consideration did you give this decision?
I'm sure you've given it a lot of thought, but did you give your heart and mind equal consideration? Often times we overlook what's smart in favor for what's simple and familiar. Love is what comes naturally to us, especially girls. It's difficult to walk away from, but sometimes walking away is the most mature thing you can do for yourself. Sometimes the greatest and most selfless act of love is letting go.
If you still feel it's wise for you to be his friend, realistically you have to expect unwanted emotions to surface from time to time - jealousy, anger, bitterness, etc. Can you be happy for him if he's happy with another girl? If your answer is no, you might want to rethink what being a friend truly means. If your answer is yes, maybe the two of you can be friends again. Just don't rush into things and don't dwell on your fears.
Just remember, the mature thing to do isn't always handling yourself well in every situation. Sometimes the most mature thing you can do is realize that it's smart to avoid the situation at all costs. The scary thing about trusting someone with your heart is that sometimes they break it. Just make sure he's worth all the time and effort it took to mend the first break, and realize that even as a friend he could easily break it again.
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Well, you know now as how to avoid getting into those fights again. And if you do, sort it out in a clam way in which you feel comfortable and in control. And should it get out of hand, remind him of what happened the last time you fought like that and how you don't want to get hurt like that again.
Talk to him about it and see if you can figure out a good way to get through your issues without it resulting in a break up of a friend ship. Considering the fact that he wants to be your friend again tells me that he's willing to listen and work things out between the two of you.
Friends should work together, not butt heads. So if you just spend some time and listen to each other and work through your issues in a clam way, then the results will be more that pleasing
I hopet this helped,
triquetra
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