about

hey,i'm Nicole. I'm 23 years young. I'm from New York...i do the best i can on giving advice on this site.drop one in my inbox n i'll get to it as soon as i can.i like spending time with friends, shopping,and playing soccer. my interests are music, singing and dancing.

advice

Hi. I'm a fourteen year old girl and I have terrible social skills. It comes to my attention that I only have two friends and I can't carry conversations very well(they end quickly.) I can make friends online, just like that, but that's different. The other night, my parents had friends over&& they started asking me questions and when I answered..they looked at me like what the he-y? It got really awkward, I wanna be able to make friends and know what to say/how to say. Advice is much appreciated.

I would say to try and work on transitions. When someone asks you a question, don't just respond. Respond with an answer and then transition to asking them something about them. Try a topic that both of you have in common-that should help to keep the conversation going.

Oh, and maintain eye contact and smile!

Hope this helps!

confusedbabii

[view]

my room mate has really bad breath she has for awhile (a mutual friend and i have noticed) but recently all of our friends are starting to say things and noticing it . She is sensitive about most things so i don't want to say something that will hurt her feelings or make her mad but i think she needs to know rather than hearing it from someone randomly. what should i do? and how should i do it?

ok well i would get a tongue cleaner and be using it and then tell her how much you love it. tell her how clean your mouth feels and how you love clean teeth and clean mouths. (bad breath usually comes from the gunk on the back of your tongue).
then tell her that she should get one too because they're so "awesome"...or you could even buy her one. you can also switch the toothpaste to one thats a bacteria killer and that has the mini pocketstrips in it (they act as mouthwash). and you can also offer her minty gum on a constant basis for a while...and it might possibly get her semi addicted to it which could definitely help.

hope i helped!

[view]

I want to keep more things to myself. I complain about everything all the time, and I always talk about people, good or bad. I hate it, how do I learn not to tell people everything, like when to stop? thanks!

i would suggest to buy a good old 5 subject notebook. and write everything in there. that way, you get it out, and you're not telling people everything that you don't want to tell them. and that way, you're talking about people and complaining, but you can keep it to yourself and you can vent your anger whenever you want, and no one has to know.

hope i helped!

[view]

I have a friend she does nothing but drag me down and talk about my other friends. How do I tell her I don't won't to be her friend anymore?

tell her that when she talks about your friends,that they're your REAL friends and that you DON'T want to hear her bashing them constantly. and that a real friend wouldnt put you in that kind of situation. and on top of that, that she always brings you down and puts you in a sticky situation and that you don't want to be friends with someone like that.

hope i helped & good luck!!

[[p.s. i have a friend like this, and the only reason this girl is like this is bc she's most likely VERY insecure and does this to try and hide it}}

[view]

well... i was really close to this girl, we were good friends and then like one day we was planning to do stuff like goo to the movies that day then she rang back later and said she couldn\'t do anything the next day so im like oh ok.. and then i was on msn and herd from my boyfriend and his cousin that she had invited them over to her house the next day.. i was stunned coz she lied 2 me and said she couldn't do anything and that she didnt even invite me or her own boyfriend to her house instead she invited my boyfriend and his cousin... her little sister and her were only going to be home the next day and her mum doesn't let her have boys over when she isnt home...my boyfriend was at his house with his cousin and they were saying to her on msn like would you have sex with me tomorow(the cousin said that) and she was like no becoz i have a boyfriend and i wouldnt wanna cheat coz i love him and all... i was pissed off at her for inviting them over already.. anyywayz it came the next day and i was like mehh stuff it im gona go out so me and my sister went shopping.. then when we got home at like 4 my boyfriend called me and him and his cousin were going on like guess what i had sex with your friend annd all i was like wtf coz shes 13 and my boyfriends cousin is 17 annd she has never had sex before (she told me she wouldnt until she was ready and had atleast been going out with the guy for more then 4months or something) anyway i was soo shockked i was like omg wtf.. annd then there like nahh were only joking and im like ok annd didnt really believe them anymore.. annd then later on msn they go to me were sorry yeahh my cousin really did have sex with my friend and i was like noo you told me before they didnt.. and there like well it did happen.. then i decided to message my friend and ask her.. so i did, and she replieed and said no it didnt really happen i only hookedup with him as a dare and i was like wat you cheated on your boyfriend coz you hookedup with another guy (this was the first time she had met my boyfriends cousin) and she was like it wasnt cheatin it was a dare.. then i messaged and asked was that all and shes like yess i wouldnt do anything else... then at that moment my boyfriend and his cousin were like to me nahh it didnt really happen and my friend just messaged me and said sorry i take it all back it really did happen.. i had sex with him and i was soo shockked i couldnt not believe it.. and my boyfriend and his cousin still denided it and said it didnt happen.. (his cousin has a fioncee) annyways and i rang my friend and she was like crying on the fone and i go who else knows and she said my mum and im like well tell me everything that happend.. (this was her story) \"we went into the bedroom and your boyfriend (my boyfriend) and my little sister were out in the lounge watching movies and while we were in the bedroom he asked if i wanted a hug coz he said i looked cold so i said ok and then he started hooking up with me (making out) and then he asked if i wanted to hop into the bed soo it was warmer so im like ok and then we hopped in and he started un-dressing me..then he asked if i wanted to have sex and i said yes and then we had sex and after 5mins i said stop becoz it was wrong and it hurt so much\"... i was soo shocked i was like i gtg annd hunng up!! then the next day came and i woke up to a fone call from my friends mum.... she said to me that it really did happen and that she had taken my friend to the docotors and all and i was like im soo shocked i cant believe she even did that becoz its her first time and she goes and does it with a 17 yearold and there not even going out!! and it was the first time she had met him.. and her mum told me to be supportive and like stick by my friend and all and give her sympathy coz she isnt in a very good state at the moment.. i was like ok.. then yesterday i was talking to my boyfriend and he was telling me the truth that really happend.. and i found out that my friend had also given his cousin head and he licked her out!! i was shocked even more soo as she had not even done this with her boyfriend yet.. i was also told that his cousin and her had also had a conversation over the fone the day after it had happend saying that she would doo it again!! i was like STUNNED.. becoz as if she is proud of what she did.. she lied 2 lots of people eg.me she cheated on her boyfriend and she broke her mums trust... i dont think i can be friends with her after she is trying to get sympathy from people but then telling other people in a way thats like she is proud of wat she did!! i dont think i can be friends with a person like that.. she lied to me and it really hurt me and i was already angry at her for even inviting them over and telling me she couldn't do anything.. she also told my other friend yesterday that she got raped!! and that is no where near true!! she agrreed 2 have sex with him and she was happy with it becoz they were going for over 30mins (which is what my boyfriend said) annd she also did other stuff which means she didnt plann on stopping.. she also agreed to doo it again!! her and her boyfriend have broken up now and im glad becoz she does not deserve him at all!! she should be ashammed of what she did and its nothing to be proud of!! i dont no how i can not judge her even thoo she is ment 2 be my friend.. but i dont no anymore becoz i still cant get over what she did!! this is gona stick with her for the rest of her life and your virginity is not something you can just throww around you want your first time to be special not with someone that you had only met for like 30mins and that you dont even no annd your not even dating.. can you please help me and give me some advice im sorry this is so long i just wanted to give you the whole story.. please helpp i need some advice... should i still be her friend ?? or should i tell her how i really feel?? what do i doo??

i would say to tell her how you really feel about the situation. if she respects your opinion on what happened, then she's a true friend, but if she flips out and such, then i would say not to bother being her friend anymore.

hope i helped!

[view]

My "best" friend carrie went out with mark, who is one of my other best friends. They broke up after three days because Carrie thought Mark liked me instead and ever since then she has changed a lot. Slowly, she can began being obsessed with being popular, lying, attention, cheating, cussing, and she gradually pushed away all of her friends. After she had lost four best friends, she came to me. I heard Carrie talking talking to one of my friends about me and I confronted her CALMLY about it on IM that day.
Carrie: hey
Me: hi
Me: how come you said I was fat?
Carrie: what the hell? i never said that.
Me: I heard you say it
Carrie: I DIDNT SAY THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: I heard you and so did about three other people so don't lie. I just want to know why u said it.
Carrie: MY FUCKING GOD!!
Me: can you stop cussing?
Carrie: what the fuck?
Me: okayyyy im going to take that as a no
Carrie: you know what? fuck you
Me: I never even did anything to you.
Carrie: WHO GIVES A FUCK IF I CALLED YOU FAT!? GET THE FUCK OVER IT! FUCK YOU
Then she signed off.
An hour later she called me and said "Look, I'm sorry. I never even said that. I would not ever talk about you behind your back."
I didn't even want to listen to her try and lie again so I just said "ok I'm going. bye" and hung up.
A few minutes later, my friend, Samantha, signed on and said that carrie had said something else about me.
Carrie signed on.
Me: wow. you said ANOTHER thing about me? how do I copy you? Normally I could care less if you said it to my face..but you just told me that you never talk about me behind my back.
Carrie: so?
Me: so, you lied AGAIN.
Carrie: w.e.
Me: can you please just go back to normal..everyone wants the old you. you haven't been normal since you and mark broke up.
Carrie: i dont give a fuck
Me: please stop cussing
Me: ok look i was going to invite you to my party but i cant
Carrie: w.e.
Me: i dont want someone cussing in every sentence at my party and i've asked u nicely to stop
Carrie: I DONT GIVE A FUCK!!
Carrie: SHUT-THE-FUCK-UP!!!!! FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then she signs off and calls me and says, "LOOK I'M SORRY AND YOU CAN'T ACCEPT THAT, THEN SCREW YOU!" and hung up.
Well, what the heck? What kind of apology is that?!?! She's apologized two more times but I don't really think that's enough after what she did..do you?
Should I ever forgive her or just stop being her friend?

This is long, so I'll give 5's to anyone who at least tries.

don't even bother for now.
she's being inhumane and super rude.
no one deserves to be treated like how she's treating you.

give it time and then if you see that she's changed, give it another try.

hope i helped!

[view]

sorry if this is long.. but pleasee read.. thanks soo much in advance..

well i have or had.. a really good friend... lets call him jack.. and me and jack have known each other since 2nd grade.. and well.. me and jack get into alot.. and i mean ALOT of fights.... and well i think that we arent friends anymore.. cause i said (which i should not have said) i understand if you dont want to be friends anymore... and then.. he just didnt say anything.. so i guess that means we arent friends..(right?) and i've just known him for soo long.. i dont want to lose him as a friend... but should i just give up on trying to make our friendship work? or should i try something to be friends with him.. and if so.. what should i say or do?? THANKSS ALOTT FOR ANSWERINGGG...

don't give up, persevere.

it's up to you if you want to be friends with him or not, but if you do, then hear me out. i would say to apologize to him, even if you don't really want to. then try to explain to him why you said that. like you feel really distant from him and you want to be closer and that you really don't like fighting with him. if he accepts you, then hang out more, and do things that you both like to do.

good luck & hope i helped!

[view]

ok so i'm going on a few college visits in a while, and i invited two friends. the problem is that my mom said we don't really have enough room in the car for both but i've already invited them. so should i tell them that or subtly imply it or what??

well...i say that you tell both of them that they cant come. that way one wont find out and flip out and get mad at you for picking one over the other. tell them you're really sorry and go out with them before/after the trip to make it up.

hope i helped!

[view]

do you think it's bad to but everyone the same thing for christmas? like all of your friends?

no, just like in different colors i would say. all my friends do it.

[view]

Yesterday i just put god in my heart, because my life was going bad and i was doing alot of bad thigns that i shouldn't have been doing. and i'm going to follow the path god wants me to now and do what i think he thinks his right. And i was just wondering if there was anybody out there who could give me some pointers on what to do and not to do because i am new at this. And could you please name some christian bands cause i used to lisen to metal and i dont' want to anymore because i think it would go against god because of the stuff they say i dotn'w ant to lisen to any more hate singers anymore. Please help i'll rate 5's for good anwsers.

Mae

The Wedding

Doc Summers Band

Origami

Prism

Veneer

and there's a bunch of Christian bands on the following site: http://www.geocities.com/christianbands2002/Links.html

((i checked it out)) hope i helped!

[view]

Two of my best friends has really done something horrible to me behind my back & I heard of it later, and they apologized about it all and everything, but I still can't seem to trust them much and I still can't forgive them much for it. What should I do? I am 14 and female.

well, if they did something that horrible to you, then they wouldn't really be BEST friends now would they?? but anyways, you don't have to trust them much or forgive them quite yet. talk to them, but still keep your barriers up and don't tell them wayy important stuff. tell them that they'll have to earn your trust back and prove that they are really sorry for you to forgive them. hope i helped

[view]

there is this girl that acts like she likes me and askes me over to her house all the time. anyway when ppl make fun of me she will laugh right along with them. Is she a true friend?

she is definitely not a true friend. a true friend would stick up for you in any situation. if this is bothering you excessively, you might need to confront her about it. what she's doing is extrememly rude an immature. she needs to cut the crap. hope i helped

[view]

What does it mean to "fall for someone" i get the general idea but could anyone explain it better for me please? thanks i'd appreciate it!

when you fall for someone, they're all you think about. you want to be with them and around them and talk to them all the time. it's like you cannot stop thinking about someone because you either want to be with them so bad and just want to know them or are madly in love and want to marry the person. hope i helped!!

[view]

when ever I like a guy my friends HATE him or just really like him that much, why is that? and when ever Im around them and Im dateing a guy they dont like they give me awful looks and it bugs me... why???

if your "friends" can't handle the fact that you're dating a guy that they don't like, they really need to grow up. they might just be jealous or they might feel like you might leave them behind. i cant exactly tell you bc i dont know your friends, but i hope i helped!!

[view]

i really want to go because i haven't gone before but i have no date and no guys wanna dance with me so i'm a loner..i can't ask anyone to go with me..i'd probably be rejected..if i do go, i will feel sad during the slow dances and shy with the fast dances..all my friends go there to dance and hang out..i can't just hang out..everyone has a date except for me..i'm sad and im confused..i don't know what to do..:( people make fun of me..esp. the guys

a lot of people go to homecoming dance without dates. it's kind of better to go without a date and just with friends so that you aren't attached to one person. just have fun with your friends and guys will see you and think that you're a fun person and will most likely ask you to dance. good luck & hope i helped!!!

XOXO **Nicole** XOXO

[view]

I'm best friends with my friend's boyfriend. My friends name is Haley, and Her boyfriend/my best friend is Ryan. (Btw, im 13 female) Well Haley is out of town, and me, Ryan, and a few other people went Cosmic bowling the other night and me & and Ryan totally flirted. I've liked him for a while, but I felt terrible for doing this to Haley so I stopped, but he kept tryin to hold my hand and everything. I really like him, but Haley's practicly my best friend too, what should I do?

all i can say is chicks over dicks. you really don't want to lose one of your really good friends over a guy. he may be one of your good friends and you may have liked him for a while, but if you want to go out with him, at least wait for a little while after they've broken up.
good luck & hope i helped!

XOXO~*~*Nicole Lynn*~*~XOXO

[view]

okay well my so called best friend has been ignoring me and talking a bunch of shit and calling me a bitch and everything like that and she's been doing this for like 2 weeks now. and i asked her why she called me a bitch and she started spazzing out about how me and my other friend ditch her all the time but i couldn't have been ditching her because she won't give me the time of day to do that she does this to me every year she can hang out with whoever she wants but when i start to hang out with someone else she gets all pissy about it..i don't know what to do anymore? i rate good/

if she's going to talk crap about you behind your back, call you a bitch, ignore you, and try to control you about who you hang out with, she's not really your best friend, now is she?
you need to take a stand for yourself and make her realize that she cant control you. and if she cant handle the fact that you have other friends besides her, i would think that you wouldn't want to be friends with her anymore.
i say get some new friends, make her jealous, and tell her to stop thinking everything's about her. good luck & hope i helped!

XOXO ~*~*Nicole Lynn*~*~ XOXO

[view]

How do you know when it's time to be come "not" bff's with someone?

when they stab you in the back and tell personal stuff you've told them (like secrets)

[view]

Next week im flying to Hawaii alone in an aircraft, but i have a phobia for planes and i don't want to panic during the flight or cry. I can go on airplanes thats not a problem but im just scared. Does anyone know how to get rid of the phobia

i've heard that there's a cd or certain type of music that can help you get through the plane ride. i saw it in the movie "Like Mike" and i've seen it when i travel. if you want me to look it up, just drop one in my inbox saying so and i'll be right on it. don't forget!

[view]

my friend and i found pictures on the floor of the 7th graders... so we drew on two of the pictures saying fat lard... but they told the principal ((being 7th graders and soo gay))... what should we do bc they have cameras in the class.....

honestly, i dont think that people at school are smart enough to check a camera, but if in fact they bring that up to you, just apologize. no biggie.

xoxo *MiZZ niCoLe LYnn*

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
humorist-workshop
eXTReMe Tracker