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Hey there! I'm Carey. I'd love to hear from you so don't hesitate to ask me anything! I'll reply to you the best way I can. Feel free to even send me an email!xo
advice
Okay, so here's the background story: My best friend (We'll call him John) and I spent basically all summer together and went on a week-long mission trip together where we got even closer. I liked him all through the summer and mission trip, but I put it aside because John has a girlfriend. Because he's my best friend, I was having drama with another guy a couple weeks after the trip and was venting to him about it. When I said I was done with the other guy, John started hinting that he liked me.
So finally I find out from him that he had liked me too over the summer and it strengthed even more over mission trip. But here's the problem: I'm away at my first year of college, and he is still a senior in high school with a girlfriend. When I asked him about her, he said "Yeah, we're still dating, but I don't know for how much longer." John keeps telling me all these things that are wrong with his current relationship (they have broken up 3 different times over the past few years) but still hasn't done anything about it. We talk every day and are still best friends, but I can't keep doing this knowing that he hsa a girlfriend. It is torture to me, knowing that I can't have him. What should I do?
Sounds like he wants his cake and to eat it too... In the nicest way possible. To me, it seems like he's comfortable in his current relationship but is still curious about what else is out there like you for example. Its up to you to determine how you want to deal with him.
-could you two ever have a chance together? Especially with you being in college, meeting new people etc and he being a year behind.
-how much does it hurt you to be like this with him. Does it hurt enough to cut ties? I went through something similar to this and in the long run we had to cut ties completely because it was too hard emotionally and it was unfair for the both of us. We agreed that we just needed space and that maybe in time we could eventually be friends again (sounds awful but it was becoming to much to handle without crossing boundaries). As much as you want to be friends and be there for each other, sometimes being there is what hurts the most.
Ultimately be honest with him and yourself. If it hurts you too much, then don't put yourself through it. Your starting a new chapter with your life and you'll meet so many people! Holding out on a guy who is with someone else won't do you any good. Try talking to him about it, if he can keep his relationship problems and flirting seperate then that's a great way to stay friends until the time is right if you two are meant to be together. If not, then think about separating or distancing yourself a bit. It's hard for sure, but if he can't respect your feelings then what good is it to stick around?
xoxo take care! stay strong & good luck! :)
So, my friend got mad at me the other day. I said I was sorry and she replied back along the terms saying that I wasn't a true friend, and I am. So I gave her a few days to cool off, and I called her today. She didn't answer, so I left her a message. I sent her a text through iMessage, and she didn't reply. I tried facetiming her, but that didn't work. So I called her house phone, and her mom said she didn't want to talk to me. I'm just upset and mad, and even wondering if I should be her friend. So any help here?
Well you've tried your best to apologize and communicate with her. So if she doesn't want to talk then just leave her until she is ready. She probably just needs time to calm down and think. Don't stress. True friendships don't end overnight.
xoxo
When 2 people are fighting & then one of the people goes off & vents/talks to someone & says what the other person got mad at them about & just keeps talking to them about it & say the other person theyre fighting with is bitching at them. & this person vents & does this whenever they fight. They always tell another person why the other person got mad at them about. Even one time they told another person that they're fighting with that they can never take a joke. Is that considered backstabbing ?
I guess it depends who the person is talking to.
People need to vent, and sometimes talking to someone else can help sort out their emotions and feelings towards the other person. If what's being said goes back to the person that was involved with the problem in a threatening way, then yes I'd consider it backstabbing. But if this person just needs to vent and have an outsiders perspective, then it shouldn't be a problem.
xo
Okay, so I have a friend Dan that I didn't used to get along with at all until about a year ago. We became friends and talked occasionally, but it wasn't a close friendship. We were talking on Facebook last night about graduating and all, and the weird life transitions we're going through right now. After a few minutes we talked about the scary future and how everything we are up till now is coming into question and doesn't matter as much in the big picture. At that point, I said I think it was a good thing because I think we were meant for greatness. Now, I didn't mean to imply that he should agree with me but when you think about it, does it sound like I'm trying to force faith on him? We've had arguments about stuff like that before and that's why we didn't used to get along. He didn't respond to that message, maybe he went to sleep, but I want to get opinions because I'm afraid I've ruined a good thing by being pushy... I do have a reputation for being a Christian but I don't think I'm pushy. Thoughts?
Thanks y'allll :)
I don't think he SHOULD be offended by it, and I wouldn't think that you're being pushy. If you feel that way, just be casual about it and be like "hey, my bad, I didn't mean to sound pushy or anything, I just mean't...." Keep it cool, and shrug it off. He won't make it a big deal if you don't make it a big deal :)
xox
Hey cari. help me out? Me and my best friend have been getting distant for the past few months. Ive gotten used to it so its fine to me. But today she said how she was mad that i dont talk to her and she always texts me first. Clearly i text her more and always have. if she wants to talk so bad cant she pick up the damn phone and call me. Shes just so use to me calling her all the time and texting her like months ago, because we both knew that i did and i didnt really care because i was used to calling her and talking all the time. So she expects me to keep doing that but its not like that anymore. She basicly started a big argument and said that i was too into this guy i like and just want attention and that i ignore her texts if im texting him at the same time and that we dont hang out anymore because of him. First off i dont even hang out with him, i admitted that i do get a little distracted when texting them both because i wind up paying more attention to him. But she said that i am replacing her with him. Thats way exagerating. Shes got me to the point where i just dont care any more and our friendship will just end in us being silent. Besides this its just her in general and other things that make me want to not be friends. Im going to go out with this guy soon and she'll be even more mad and think i chose him over her and i know she will go telling her mom and sis and other best friends that i basicly chose him and thats not true. its going to appear that way too if we just stop being friends and right after i go out with him. I just want to prove that im not replacing her and a way to either end the friendship , like should we just not talk and thatll be the end in time or talk and end it? like idk.
I know what your going through. You're friend has to understand that when you meet someone new (especially a guy) you're going to want to get to know them better and spend time with them. She should be supportive of that. It's hard to split up time perfectly so no one gets left out or shoved to the side. If you feel this friendship is worth saving, ask her to hang out, a girls day, just the both of you, and explain to her how this makes you feel, and that she should try and understand the predicaments shes put you in. Then tell her that you can see her point and that you'll try and accomodate her needs to. It can feel a little overwhelming I know, but if you two can talk it out and be 100% honest with eachother then things should be okay. All thats needed is some patience and understanding and her willingness to share you with other people.
A friendship is only worth saving if both people are willing to fix it.
If shes not going to try and cope with things that change and try to resolve it, then its not worth it.
ok, im 14 years old. i have been sexually active with three guys. ive had sex with one 2 times an almost had sex with the third guy hours after i met him. the second guy ive done almost everything with except sex. ive known the guy i had sex with for 3 an a half years, the second guy 2 years an the third guy a couple months now but only hours before the incident. there was supposed to be a fourth guy tonight but i was to confused. did i mention all these guys are my older brothers best friends? the oldest is about 17 an the youngest guy was 15 turning 16. does this mean im a slut? even if i havent had SEX with them all, only one?
I wouldn't go as far as saying your a slut, but you are doing things that are really inappropriate for you age and that can cause some major reprocussions in the future. Back away from sex and focus on school and hanging out with your girl friends. You have your entire life to be having sex, don't ruin your teen years worrying about that now.
ok well i have this friend..and at the begging of the year we were really good friends and some howw we got into fites....and it all started when i said that her b.f was a player and she beilved him insted of me ..she got mad at me we didnt talk for months and then she called me up and said im soory...so i forgave her ( dont really ever forgive people when they backstab me) then the second time she siad that i did something on purpose..and i was like no i didnt..and it had to do with a guy...she thought i was trying to steal him but i wasnt..so aguan we got into a fight then she called and i forgave her...because i really loved her alot she was my good friend..but now agian somwthing happend about and lets just say it repapted and we werent talking and then agian i forgave and we beacme firneds....yea i know im pathetic..but now this is new she thinks i spread rumor about her..like really bad...rumor and hwn i didnt beacuse why wouold i so now we hate each other agian and today in the whole way she came up to me with her friends and asked if i said anything i was liek no and started to wlak away she grabbed me and grabbed her hang like le tme go you hore...and wlaked awya and she laughed and calle dme names..so i dont no what to do !! HELP!!!
Don't keep letting her come back, because that gives her excuses to keep finding ways to fight with you. Why would you want someone like this in your life? She's obviously not someone who cares about you if this is what she's doing.
Remember not to stoop to her level. If shes calling bad names to you, just look at her and smile and keep walking. Don't show her fear or she'll continue what shes doing. Find other friends to hang out with.
Just drop her. She's not worth your time. I had a similar situation and when she see's you really don't care she may fight back for a bit but she'll get bored when she see's it's not bothering you.
Good luck.
You deserve better.
okay so im 13 and i have this group of my girls were all close,but theres this one girl and weve been friends for EVER but recently shes giving mre comments like(your so fat) and calling me ugly and stuff, and like lots of ppl call HER that and she always says im fat like her. but all my other friends tell me im not ugly at all
and thay always complament my body and they say its really nice!!
so i dont know if shes acting fair with me and now my self confidens is super low
plz help
Sounds likes she's insecure with herself and her self esteem is slow so she tries to bring other people down to her level. So when she feels bad she wants everyone else to feel bad as well. It sounds pretty messed up but thats how some girls are. Try giving her some nice compliments to boost her self esteem, then she'll stop bringing you down.
Don't let her or anyone else shatter your confidence, because especially in this situation their just jealous :)
Hope I helped.
Okay so this yeah there was this new girl who came to our school and we became bff. this lasted a little bit but then i figured out she said stuff behind my back and she totally ratted me out on everything. Me and this other girl have pretty much been bff since pre-school. but i "broke" up with her for the other girl. This week me and the girl from pre-skool have been really close and now the other girl wants her back. so she is doing everything in her power to take her away. I am pissed. it was just getting good. i actually had some to trust and now its over. I want to talk to the girl from pre-skool so i did and she says she feels the same way that we want to be bff again. but she doesnt do it that way she is like controled by the other girl. what should i do i am scared and worried. I am confused Helpp please.
If you and this other girl are on the same track wanting to be BFF's again then both of you should just ignore this other girl and trust eachother to not believe anything that this other girl does. Try and spend as much time as possible to make this girl you wanna be friends with again to want to be around you more.
Good luck
:)
ok so me and this girl have been friends for ever!
and every guy i ever liked well she got and i was left with no one ok so i hooked up with this guy and i was really liking him a lot!like i really like him! ok so today i was talking ot my friend and my friend comes up to me and was like hi babe and im like hey and shes like i got a bf and im like who and she said his name!!!!!!!!!!! i was so upset i got home and cried so its like a couple weeks later and im friends with her again(sadly) ok so im like talking to her on my space and im like Dylan wont answer his fone and shes like thats bc hes talking to me and sara im hooking them up and i was like Becca!and shes like oh i forgot you had a thing for him!
i cant stop crying now and i want to get back at her but im not that mean so what do i do??
Obviously she is to insecure to go out and find different guys on her own so she feels the need to pick out on yours.
So naturally I'm going to say talk to her about it because that's better than stooping to her level and doing something horrible back.
Next time, don't tell her who you like or who you want to be involved with then watch her struggle to keep up with what you are doing. Keep her in the dark and if she asks who you like simply say: "no one".
Good Luck. It's difficult but by keeping her in the dark she'll have to learn the hard way.
does anyone know a song about either..
saying sorry
best friends drifting apart
you mean so much to me.
anything in that nature please!!
all would be great =]
End Of The Line - Christi Mac
Its also on the Cheetah Girls CD (1st soundtrack)
its really good.
"Will we be friends when we grow
old? is this the end of the line?
I hurt with you I love with you
the world just seems to get
in our way
Is this the end of the line?
Oh please don't leave me
Don't let your heart let go
We'll find a way
The journey has only begun
Is this the end of the line?
Oh yeah, oh
Is this the end of the line?
If you leave I'll follow
don't let your heart let go
We'll find a way
the journey has only begun
Is this the end of the line?
Is this the end of the line?
"
my best friend ever is a black boy named even and no one knows that he is my best friend on earth im afriad to tell my parents about him because they dont really like black people and i love him like my own brother please help i want to tell people about him but i dont know how please help and thanks
The situation can swing either way with your parents.
They may accept him or they may not but personally it shouldn't matter because he's your friend.
Maybe before approaching your parents, lightly ask what they think of the subject of having a colored person as your friend and see how they react.
Good Luck.
I know it can be hard but you can do it :)
---
They won't. Just say it was just something that you were wondering. For all they know the topic might of came to mind while you were watching tv or something.
ok, this is embarasing but here goes... A while ago i got caught by my neighbor peeking in her window when she had some friends over for a sleepover. i was on her back porch peeking in her window when 1 of her friends came out and said what are you doing??? i was like.. o my god... i was so embarased. so she told the other girls wat i was doing and they all talked and then 1 of them came to me and said they wouldnt tell on me if i did wat they said. she said that to be fair they should get to see me naked and that I should strip naked for them. otherwize they would tell my mom that i was a pervert and a peeping tom. anyway, i did it. i took off all my clothes and let them all see me. they looked and giggled and stuff for a long time and then they let me go home. The thing is that since then a couple of them have made be do it again for girls that werent even at the sleepover. they say i desrve it for peeking at them that night. Do you think I deserve it? Should I keep doing it for them? Please give me your advice!
Thanks,
Paul
Anything you feel uncomfortable doing you shouldn't do.
Just take the punishment from your parents and move on from it, because you do deserve punishment but not what these girls are making you go through.
If anything, those girls should be ASHAMED of what they are making you do and the outcome could be a lot more worse if you continue with their requests. It'd be easier to just fess up to your parents.
is it okay that i only have like one or two close friends? i have like one best friend and then like two good friends and people i just talk too. i feel like everyone always has more close friends than me though. i mean i talk to people but not like to the point where we'd hang out together a lot. i don't know sometimes i feel like somethings missing or wrong with it? i don't know any advice would be mucho appreciated
14.f.freshman
I totally understand what your saying because I feel that way too. You see everyone in their large cliques and they all seem to be super tight.
It's definitely okay to have just a few close friends. I have 2 best friends, one guy and one girl and honestly I think its just easier that way because then you can focus on those friendships to grow and strength and its just difficult with several people LOL, and one person always ends up hating another person in larger groups.
;)
Me and my bff Sami are so close and I want us to find someone that is perf. for us to create kind of like a clique,but not really really mean or anything. If you've heard of the book The Clique Series by Lisi Harrison that'd help cuz I want it to be like that!
I know how you feel. Me and my best friend kinda want our own clique to but its hard. Try mingling together with a bunch of different people.
Join some clubs or even invite some people to have lunch with you two.
The best way is to become close with people from another clique.
:)
Easier said than done though.
Good luck!
When someone is opening up to you, and you have no idea what their going through because you have never been there before, what can you say to them ?
Well it depends on the situation to begin with.
If its a friend/family member that is sick or has passed on then you would want to say something that would comfort them like "they're in a better place." or "I'll always be here if you want to talk"
I think the whole "i'll always be there" line can be used in any situation.
Honestly, there isn't always the right thing to say at all. Its different with every person and situation. Just follow your heart.
Sorry, thats tough.
k so theres this guy that i see like everywhere
and hes so good looking and when i look at him he is sometimes looking at me but most of the time he is . he also seems like an amazing guy and i really want to get to know him.
were friends on myspace and i am debating if i should message him that hes beautiful cause im a funny person and so is he so yeah. or if you have anything for me to say. please help me out
drop a few hints like, when you comment him be like: "HEY CUTIEE WHATS UP"
or something along those lines.
Keep it subtle to see his reactions and if they are good reactions then go for it :)
my friends grandfather died this morning. hes really hurt. but i dont know what to say to him. im scared ill say something wrong. what should i tell him?
ugh. that really sucks and it is super hard.
No matter how many times you tell your friend "he's in a better place" and stuff like that, its not going to erase that empty place in his heart. Just let him know that you're there for him for whenever he wants to talk.
Maybe take him out to a movie to help distract him.
my friend and i have the exact same taste in guys but i don't no what to do, i mean i have confronted her about it but she doesn't know what to do either. We both like this adorable guy but who should get him?? HELP PLEASE!?!
Who should get him? I don't know, whoever he's attracted to I guess.
But maybe trying doing some activities apart from your bff. By joining different clubs you'll meet completely different boys--that way you don't have the same prediciament.
Good Luck
Hey guys, well i want a good party that isnt totally lame and i only got a few bucks, a girl like me cant barely afford to rent a DJ or something else so if anyone has any ideas....thanks in advance
For music, burn a few mix CD's and have them play in the background. It's cheaper than a DJ and you get what you want when you want :)