about

Photobucket" align=left hspace=10> Allooooo~ well to start off...I go by as Dennise and giving advice is what I'm here to do and I plan to provide whatever assistance I can offer to the best of my abilities.

I've had my share of ups-and-downs (don't we all) and I'm more than willing enough to help those that ask.

In fair warning: I won't give answers that are "gusshied with sprinkles on top" (or whatever things that that line follows). I will be blunt if the situation calls for it...either you take the honest words or brush it off and go search for a lie~ all in all, it's entirely your choice.
Advice is simply there for people to brood and consider over, not a forceful act.

So feel free to ask me whatever you wish to be answered and the advice shall slide over these keyboards~ ^-^


"If it's free, it's advice; if you pay for it, it's counseling;
if you can use either one, it's a miracle."
-Jack Adams-

"If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it,
If you don't ask, the answer is always no.
If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place."
-Anonymous-







advice

This guy and I have been talking a lot lately. I really love talking to him. The thing is, we met online. I'm really skeptical about the whole online dating thing. He's such a good guy though. I really love talking to him and being friends with him. The thing is, we barely ever talk about anything serious. I'm just not sure how to bring anything serious into a conversation. I can't say I completely trust him, cause we met online. Plus i've only known him for a few months. I do trust him enough to tell him some things. Like if i'm upset he can always tell, and he always asks if i'm okay. I really hate it because some of the times I just have to lie to him and tell him i'm fine. The reason for that is I don't like talking about my problems and stuff because I feel like i'm complaining and i don't want to be annoying or anything. I really hate lieing to him. Anyway i'd really love to meet him and be friends with him after I finish high school. I don't want to rush anything because I really don't want to lose him or anything. He's really the only good friend I have right now. My question is, how can I bring up serious things when we talk and sound casual? Or at least bring up serious things in a conversation?

I agree with the first two comments that were posted earlier...you honestly have no clue to "who" exactly is this person you're chatting with and it is dangerous to give out personal information (obviously that's common knowledge by now).

Buuuut, I understand what you're going through since there's this person I met on the internet also and I know that it feels great to at least chat with someone that makes you feel like..."the real you (not sure how to exactly word it!)."

It's good that you're at least thinking about not giving out too much about your personal life, as many people make that mistake, but if you feel really down and you just have to take it out of your chest...it wouldn't hurt to chat it over if you trust him a little.

As long as you don't specifically name people, place, send pictures, so on and so forth. Word it like how other billions of people say about their problems, hopefully this would still make you safe. Since you want to talk serious with him, you definitely should ask him if you want to have conversations like that, first and then just see his reaction with his replies (but don't let your guard down even after he says he agrees to listen or something!).

I hope this advice was able to help you, even in a little way! Take care~ =3

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14/f

Okay, so last year in 8th grade I had a group of 5 of my best friends. We always hung out and told each other everything. Now I'm in high school and the 2 middle schools combined. I have a lot of friends, I'm cool with almost everyone in the grade. I have really good friends in scattered groups. But I have one problem. I've really been excluded from my circle of best friends. We'll talk in school and hug sometimes, but nothing else. They don't tell me anything anymore, they don't call me or text unless it's for homework help. They don't invite me to hang out. One of them had 3 parties this school year and didn't tell me about any of them. I know I didn't do anything wrong... it's like they don't even realize it. I'm sick of having best friends in scattered groups because I just want to hangout with my own group sometimes! I haven't hung out with anyone this whole school year... literally at all. Besides going to the gym with one of those scattered group friends. I don't know what to do. Everyone in my old group wears such cool clothes and they have sleepovers and trade clothes and I have no sense of fashion. I always wear jeans, sweatshirt, and sneakers. They always compliment each other on what they're wearing but never me. They'll ditch me in the middle of the cafeteria and it's nearly impossible to find a new seat somewhere else. They all have had/have boyfriends and have hooked up plenty of times. I've done neither. I'm not as pretty as all of them, not nearly. They included more girls into the group that they met just this year and now they always invite those girls to hang out and trade clothes. I lost my best friends and now it's like they are just friends to me. They all have a video-making thing on Facebook but none of them have ever made a video on my wall. I feel like my life is in turmoil. I can't stand it. I get sick thinking about how I have no group of friends to hang out with on the weekends. My clothes aren't cool enough for them to care about. I don't know as much amazing music as them so they never ask for cds and never make me any. I tried telling one of them how I feel online but she just stopped answering me and entered a video chat with someone. I'm desperate. I don't know how to get these old friends back. I've tried to think of cool outfits but I can't pull it off and I don't have a great body like they all do. I'm hanging on a thread here trying to fit in. They're all friends with sophomores and juniors and they go to a lot of their parties that I've never been invited to. I just don't fit in and I don't want to try "finding new friends". I wake up everyday and I honestly just wish I was someone else, someone they wanted to be around all the time. I don't know what to do. I'm not going through my highschool years friendless and not having any fun or hanging out at all. Help.







In all honesty, just be the person who you are now. I know it gets repetitive to hear those same words over and over again, but they are true to their meaning. No matter what others may say...no matter what they do, they can't change who you really are. Don't let your friends' opinions affect the person you are now. Don't let their opinions put pressure on yourself just to be like them...I really do understand your situation and it's hard to push the thought of what others think about you away. But we all have to realize that just because we want to feel "belonged," we end up doing things that we regret and hide our true selves just for the sake of being noticed. And because we do things that normally go against what our true beliefs are, we end up becoming more frustrated and lost.
You don't have to change into a person who you don't know, just to be "cool." Being yourself is what would make you unique than others. And also, it's understandable that being pushed away by best friends is like torture...but there are plenty of people in your school that you can make bests friends out of! Don't feel like your social status is just limited to a certain group...just hang out with other people. There comes a time in life that we have to say goodbye to close friends, and it also takes as long for us to recuperate from the feelings of depression, stress, and anger after we lose them. But we get by and make new ones...there's a whole world out there with people who CAN and WILL be your best friend(s)! People can't help but find unexpected friends from unexpected places. I'm not saying that you should just ignore your old friends, if they want to talk to you, talk to them back.
Take the step to hangout with other groups in your school...honestly, staying with just one group for the rest of your high school years is gonna get kind of boring and annoying. Open up to other people and before you know...you've got a pack load of friends because they'll like you for just being yourself.

I hope this was of some help and I wish you luck! Take care! =3

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so i have this friend. we have been friends since like 6th grade, were in 11th. anyway..she honestly treats me like shit. i dont know why i am still friends with her. well no.. i take that back. i do know why. because if i ignore and just dont want to deal with her anymore she will seriously make my life a living hell. she has done it before. she acts like im not even a human. ive been the one that has been there for her since i dont even know. she is crying, im there triyng to help her. but when I am crying or something is wrong with ME, god forbid she takes 5 seconds out of her life to help someone with a problem and that its not all about HER all the damn time. i dont know what to do. im sick of it. when i get mad, i just ignore her. im not the confrontational type, i dont like bitching at people. i usually keep the peace. but she on the otherhand will rip you apart and make you hate yourself. its happened. today in lunch i was telling her something, because i mean her being one of my best friends..itd b nice if i was allowed to talk to her rtight? apparently wrong. i tell her something, she goes "ok, i dont care" and gave me attitude. so i just got up and went with my friend and i started crying so hard. then these other two gierls that i used to be reallly good friends with, not so much anymore, came up and talked to me., they care more than my so called best friend. she knows im mad but she will turn it around on me and be a bitch. i dont know what to do anymore. please help me!

I definitely understand what you're going through now and it's also happening to me at the moment. Change always happens to everyone...sometimes for the better or for the worse. And during those changes, we sometimes have limits to what we can handle such as you've had enough of your friends bitchy attitude. Everyone wants to be treated fairly and at least be treated with respect. Your "friend" isn't giving you what you want most and since she's not giving you her friendship, would you still consider her as a friend? Listen, getting over this situation is very difficult, but you gotta keep your head high and just move on. This may sound harsh but...you don't exactly "need" her to go on with your own life.
And seriously, if she's gonna try and make your life hell, her's is going to get worse because she's just wasting her time trying to hurt other people's feelings just to feel proud or something. But anyway, just ignore her if she threatens you like that...show her that you're not afraid of her and that it's pathetic to use pointless words.
You are very strong, getting through this may be tough but in time it'll just be another memory. I know that it hurts to find out that a close friend is crushing a precious friendship but it's a way to move on even if you guys drift apart. Don't let her rudeness get in the way of what your goal is in life. You'll still have those memories of her during your years together, some may be bad but some are good...this time you make new ones.

I hoped this helped you a little! Keep your head up high! =3

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hii

well heres the story its pretty long.
last week was the last week of the holidays and i was chatting to my friend on the net and she just randomly says to f*#k off and that she hates me and never was really my friend. so i'm like really cofused and thinks she just going through some troubles at home so i leave it. later that week i try talking to her again and the same thing happens but this time she starts telling me that no one likes me and i'm annoying and to stay away from her and her friend who are also my friends. i got really up set and cried.Then school started and i styaed away from her as much as possible which is hard cause i'm in her roll call and i'm in the same group as her. Then all my friends started sitting down the back with her and stuff and some of my other friends told me that she was saying stuff about me and saying that i started it all and that she wanted to start a punch up with me and stuff. then last night her and another girl from my school started a convo with me and started like harassing me calling me a sped and just making fun og me basically. i think i'm going to tell my teacher whats going on. i saved the 2 convo's she had with me calling a hoe and stuff.I just don't know what to do about my friends like all my school friend from my group hate me. what should i do

p.s sooooo sorry for how long it is
xoxo thaks for the help

In a situation like this, you definitely should let someone know about this. I mean, it's seriously just frustrating enough that your friend and your group are treating you in a crude way without even giving a reason as to why they're acting that way. Your friend could possibly be jealous of you because you have something that she doesn't...but in a way, it sounds like she more of the "coward" (I suppose you could call her that) because she's taking your own group of friends and having them turn against you like some sort of shield. It's pathetic and pointless because she's not going to get anything out of it...but only showing that her selfish attitude has gotten the best of her.
It's good that you're considering about telling your teacher about your situation. You can also let someone you know that you trust in either your school, or someone who doesn't go to your school. just let it out and keep them informed if things worsen.
And all I can say is, don't be afraid of those girls. You are your own person and can find other friends who wouldn't treat you this way. Hey I know it's easier said than done but it's true and it's more of a benefit for yourself because once you talk more to others rather than just that group, hopefully a heavy load will be lifted off of your shoulders. Also, don't come to the conclusion of insulting them back because it's gonna get even messier.
Keep strong.

I hoped this helped you a little! I wish you luck! =3

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Okay so I like this one guy. We'll call him Bob.
My bestfriend, We'll call her Sally likes him too.
Bob has liked Sally for a week or so now and my bestfriend Sally has a boyfriend. She doesn't liker her boyfriend and is going to dump him today or tomorrow to go out with Bob.
I don't want to tell Sally I lik Bob because Bob likes her, Sally likes Bob and I don't want to screw anything up. Should I just wait until they break up or do I say something?

Bob is also a year older and I don't want to look like a fool.


Help!

Well all I can say is you just have to leave it alone. I mean, since they both like each other it'd be kind of unruly if you just butted in without letting someone know. But of course you can definitely tell your friend about how you feel so that there won't be any difficult situations in the future and I'm sure that when you tell her, she won't take it so hard because you're letting her know ahead of time, it's more of a show of trust.


Hoped this helped you! =3

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so i have this friend, we'll call her sally. well sally and i have been friends since 6th grade, we are now in 11th grade. in 8th grade we got into a huge fight that lasted like 6 months. we haven't really gotten into any huge fights since then, but lately she has been treating me like shit. she acts like im not even a friend to her. although i do nothing wrong to her. EVER. im never rude to her. im ALWAYS there for her. shes never there for me when i need someone the most. she gets mad at her "best friend" well call her suzie, well they've been friends for a while but suzie always ditches her and is rude. and she gets mad, complains to me about it. she has no idea how she acts to me but everytime i try to talk to her about it she gets mad at me and turns it all around on me. she is not mad at me, wont talk to me. yet we were fine this morning. i have NO idea what to do. please help me

A friend shouldn't be treating their own friends like shit. I know this may be hard to accept, but if she's treating your friendship like trash and shows it in a way like it doesn't matter at all to her then it's time to just move on. You can try talking to her one more time and let out all the things that you wanted to say to her about her behavior towards you and your friendship. If she chooses to not listen to what you're saying and get all angry about it, that's when you know that you have to let go of her because it's useless to try and reason with her if she won't listen to what you have to say.
This may sound kind of selfish but in a way, all her anger will just make you feel guilty...so maybe letting her go would give you a bit of relief without having to worry about if your friend is gonna get pissed at you the next day or something. We all have our limits to what we can handle.. and what we can't handle.

I hope this was of some help to you! I wish you luck~ and be strong! =3

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My friend, she's really cool.
She's really funny.
But I'm worried about her.

You see when it comes to her home life, she just
shuts off. She'll never talk about anything
personal. And she always wears this jumper, even
when it's stinking hot!!

When we were changing for PE one time, I saw her
take of her jumper and I saw lots of scars on her
wrists and arms.
I know she saw me looking, and it's really
awkward between us now.

I want to say something to her.
But i don't know what.
I don't want to say something like "If you want
to talk, I'm here" because the school councilor
has said that to her like a billion times, and sh
really hates it!

Anything?

At times like this, you just have to stand up and let her know that you want to know what's at least going on and why she has those scars. It's definitely tough to ask but you both are good friends and should be able to trust each other no matter what the situation is. And don't worry, even if the school counselor says, "if you want to talk, I'm here," he's just counselor and maybe the reason why your friend hates it is probably because she's telling her thoughts to someone she hardly knows. But if it's you, I'm sure she'll confess and let you know what's going on because you're someone she truly knows and the fact that you're a friend to her.
It's good that you're worried about her, that shows that you really care for her, so if you think it's a serious problem that she's gotten into you should let an adult know if your friend has been abused...or if she's just hurting herself. Don't be afraid, because even if she doesn't want to discuss the first time...she'll eventually tell you because she knows that you're the only person who's worried.

I hope this helped you a little! Good luck! =3

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Okay, so I'm not saying I hate my best friend "Nora?" It's just that she can be really mean to me and to our other friends.

Ex.) On this one site were I posted a story she also did and my story was more successful than hers and she wrote a bad comment about me in my guestbook ,but it was annomonsye[sp?] well i found it was her because her IP addresses matched. Well I was upset about this ,but I got over it.

Ex.) She constantly says she "hates" me and she knows that upsets me. Even thought she might or might not mean it.

Ex.) She constatly offendes me.

Ex.) We both had this friend named "Laura" but one day "Nora" decided to not like and hate "Laura" so she turned on "Laura" while I didn't .

Ex.) She talks about our friend "Michelle" behind her back and tells me how much she hates "Michelle" while I sit there an listen.

Ex.)She tells me she'll never like my type of music/style and then like it. Hiprocritic[sp?] Which strangly makes me mad.

And we are slowely drifting away. I don't know if I should go with the flow considering she's been mean. Or try to remain bestfriends with her [and try to get over all this]

So please tell me what you think of the situation. Sorry it's alot and that it whatever else I could be sorry for.

Thanks in advance. :)

I'm also in the same exact situation that you're facing now and I understand the feeling you get everytime a friend who you trusted most of your life, is treating you in a cruel way as if friendship doesn't mean a thing to her anymore. Anyway, all I can say is that it's best to let yourself and your friend drift off. You don't have to constantly feel yourself growing in pain everytime your friend is continuously hurting your feelings. Take a stand and let her know what you really think of her personality and how's she has been treating your friendship. And if she just brushes it off, don't feel any regrets and move on.

Maybe also in a way, you both needs some space from each other, I'm sure she'll understand that even if she's trying to hide it. There's always some place in time of your life where you just have to say goodbye to old friends and say hello to new ones~

I hope I was of some help and good luck! =3

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13/Male- I have this friend of mine, we've been friends for years now, and I kinda used to have feelings for her a few years ago, but then realized it was awkward that way and since then, just kinda back to liking her as a friend.. Anyway, she's 13 as well and I just found out she's dating a 16 year old, should i be slightly concerned? I mean, I'm probably thinking the worse, but it's been crossing my mind the last few days and am just kinda wondering if maybe I should be a little worried.. Most of my friends are dating 13-14 year olds.. Could there be a "reason" if you know what I mean, that he'd want to have her as a girlfriend? I mean, if I was 16, I'd probably be looking at someone around the similar age.. Just my opinion..

Thanks in Advance!
Chase

Hi there Chase!

Yeah I have a very close friend as well she's 14 years old, also a freshman in high school, and she's going out with a 17 year old guy who's a junior but they're really happy with each other and there seems to be nothing wrong with their relationship too. But anyway, it's great that you still care for your friend and that you're worried about her safety. You don't have to jump into conclusions so easily when you're not even sure if it's true yourself. Also, just because of the age difference it doesn't necessarily mean that this guy is just going to use her for his reasons. Maybe he really does love your friend that same way she does for him.
But if you're friend is feeling uncomfortable with the relationship or that there's something wrong, then don't be afraid to let her know that you'll be there for her no matter what and that you'll help her in anyway you can. Being concerned is what makes friends that best. =3

Hoped I helped a little!

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I am 24 years old and am currently at a point in my life where I don't think I can be friends with my life-long friend of 19 years.

I have stood by him, even though it was hard, despite all the terrible decisions he's made with his life. He has 2 DWI's, lost his car, lost his band because of his drinking, lost many friends, slept with a friends girlfriend whom he is currently still with. He faces jail time, and could quite possibly lose his job. Needless to say, he's almost lost everything.

The other night my girlfriend and I went out with them, trying to put things behind us. Well, he decided to just disappear and abandon his girlfriend there. She was understandably upset and we took her to his house, where her car was. In the end, he was extremely angry that we helped her, and accused me of telling her lies and badmouthing him. Also saying I'm trying to "get between them."

In a nutshell, 3 people have one account of the evening, and he has his. It's completely wrong. He's desperate, possessive, and not fun to be around anymore. He doesn't want help, and gets defensive claiming people should mind their own business, etc, despite being his best friend.

It only got worse... He actually blindsided me for helping her, punching me in the nose from behind me. It became a physical confrontation and was obviously a act of complete desperation since he claimed we were making the situation worse and were trying to "make him look bad."

I've tried helping but he isn't receptive. I'm not perfect either, and make plenty of mistakes, but every time we hang out it feels like a gamble. I'm tired of it. Is it selfish of me to move on with my life?

Change is sometimes for the better or even for the worse. It happens to all of us and there's nothing selfish about moving on with your own life especially if you believe that you can't handle the rough situation your friend got himself involved in. And if he wants to deal with his own problems without any helping hand then let him be and just focus on your life. Since he's behaving in such a manner that's apparently harming you and your other friends, it's time to let him go because his stubbornness could lead to something more dangerous for you.

Don't worry about your decision. It's yours to decide though. There are limits to what each person can handle and there's no one to blame for if we decide to move on. Don't feel guilty or selfish of what your decisions are, think what would be best for you...and maybe even your friend.

Hope this helped a little! =3

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practically all my friends are sexually active and im not, ive never had sex. but i dont feel like i really fit in, unless i change my mind set to their perverted minds. like i have to act and talk like them to fit in. but im against that kind of stuff with my beliefs and stuff. so what do i do, continue being friends with those kind of people or make friends who are a little more pg? but its only adultry that im against and almost everyone in highschool talks about who they did, and im just a virgin :/

Be who YOU want to be without having to change into someone else for another person because of their own opinions or what they do that would make you uncomfortable. I definitely understand how it feels like you're left out on the topic but don't let that bring you down, just follow in what you believe is right for yourself. Yeah it's kind of tough to ignore since you said almost everyone is practically talking about sex, but you can walk away from that conversation if you think you've heard enough. Like just say you gotta go get something from another class or whatever. You can still keep your friends and make new ones at the same time.
Be true to yourself...you may never know, it's possible that since you've made a really wise decision...you could be the influence of many of your friends!

I hope this advice was of some help! =3

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This is the day after a disastrous holiday with her and we have come to a mutual decision that we don't want to see each other anymore. We always had a difficult relationship due to her ferocious temper and mood swings and my inability to deal with them. While I did love her I always ended up feeling inadequate around her, because according to her, I seemed to get so many things wrong. This came to a head during this holiday, which we went on after I had been away at uni for a year. I was apprehensive about spending a whole week in her company but went really to keep her happy. She had been sniping at me throughout the holiday, saying that I was ringing my boyfriend too much (once a day, she conveniently forgot the whole trip was based around her wanting to go and meet an ex of hers) We were supposed to go for 6 days and on the 4th we had a huge argument where she acted as though the fact that we couldn't find the hostel we should have been staying at was my fault even though we had been given faulty directions. After ringing home to get the correct phone number, I got correct directions, but she was still annoyed. I asked her what else she wanted me to do and we argued. This culminated in her screaming at me in the middle of the street and stalking off, leaving me in a city I didn't know, alone with no map and no phone (it had broken earlier) I was stuck in a phone box having a panic attack (which i am prone to) and had to ring home for help. I got to the hostel and it turned out she was there. She continued to shout at me, and I told her about how I was scared of her and her temper. I said I would go home the next day (earlier than planned) and she said she didn't want to see me again. Not only did this grate on me, as I felt I had more right to say this to her, I now feel very depressed. I hate her now, and I know that when I stop hating her I will still not want to see her but I can't help feeling sad and everything seems to remind me of her. How do I stop thinking about this awful week.

Hi there! I definitely understand what you're going through. Pretty much I'm going through the same situation right now actually. But anyway, it's kind of hard to accept how things have turned out so far and feeling the pain of losing a best friend is difficult to pass by. It takes a long amount of time to move on but be patient. Take some time to walk around your neighborhood, listen to some calming music, or just do any of your hobbies to keep your mind busy. It's also hard to do these because your mind keeps reverting back to your situation, but once you do these things daily you'll start to find yourself feeling back to normal and starting to accept that you and your best friend are moving on. I hoped this helped you out a little! =3

Remember, in life there will always be some "hellos" and "goodbyes."

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my friend who's name is andee is usually the happy type of person.. she rarely cries. and today, i found out that andee was crying really hard to my other friend. andee is really close to her grandma, and turns out that her grandma has cancer. me and my friend is planning to all hang out and to cheer andee up, but what should i say to be able to comfort her? i'm not very good at comforting people when it comes to something that you can't stop from happening, so what should i say?

please & thank you!

Well the best medicine for a friend who's down is to just be there for them and have a great time! Your friend just needs the love and comfort that you and your other friends can provide for her. Maybe plan an outing with her and just have fun with good laughs, like an ordinary day! It may sound like just to get her mind off the situation that's going on, but it's more of giving her a little hope for her grandma. I wish you luck, and hope for the best for your friend's grandmother!

I hope I was of some help. =3

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Alright, well, I know during the summer alot of people are going on vacation and things, but that's usually only been the case with a couple of my friends. My best friends and me always talk during the summer and hang out and keep in contact as much as we can.


Well, this summer seems to be different. Nobody's really been calling me, or asking me to do anything. My one best friend stopped talking to me for three weeks, and only the other day texted me to tell me how her and another friend of mine got backstage passes to this show. That doesn't make me jealous or anything, and she doesn't seem like the type of person to plot something like that, so it just made me wonder: "why text me now? and why tell me that specifically, really?"


My birthday was also a couple weeks ago. Had a couple "happy birthday" comments sent my way, which was nice, but nobody asked if I wanted to do anything. Even if they were busy THAT day, a hang out offer for another day would've sufficed. I know birthday's [ especially a 17th cause nothing too special happens ] isn't a humungous deal, but I'm the type of person that when things happen with/to friends, it affects me inside.


It's just been confusing me and making me angry. Sitting inside my house alot of my summer, spending my whole birthday alone in my room watching movies, just been making me feel really lonely lately and that either I'm the problem, or the people I have friendships with are the problem. I think it's just dawning on me now cause I keep thinking how it's my senior year, I figured everyone'd wanna especially get together now, this maybe being our "final summer" to spend together and final school year to hang and have a great year together, and ignoring me... isn't the best start.

I'm not even sure what advice I'm asking for here, I think I just wanted to see what other people's views on this was. If they've had friends like this as well, if it's just a "phase" that we all go through, everyone goes through a million friends.

I definitely understand what you're going through, and the feeling of loneliness can kind of drive you berserk especially during summer when most of the time there isn't much to do. It's very very difficult to accept the possibilities that you and your friends are just drifting. It's also hard to keep telling yourself that it's normal for friends to drift apart and to move on because you fear that you are losing the people you have known for such a long time. But in time, you'll come to accept the way things are and you'll start moving on as well and make new friends.

Still, you can keep in touch with some of them. Just send your friends an invitation to go somewhere like swimming at a public pool or just hang out at places your familiar with at least. When you have the feeling that no one is making the move, you can be the one to give a nudge and don't hesitate to call or text someone! You'll be surprised at whatever comes.

Remember that in life, there will always be "hellos" and "goodbyes."

I hope I helped a little! =3



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17/f. My best friend (16/m) has been through a tough couple of years what with his parents' divorce. Lately he is making bad decisions and I don't know how to tell him that everyone is worried without him getting mad at me and completely shutting me out. He is an incredible musician, and this year he is quitting all music at school. He doesn't take lessons anymore. He broke up with his girlfriend without giving any reason (and she's an amazing girl), and he's pushing his friends away. It's like he's isolating himself from everybody, and I don't know why. He has like zero ambition, which sucks because he's extremely intelligent. Also, he is spending pretty much all of his time with my other friend (she's 16/f, and not a love interest of his), who has become a "bad seed" within the past few years because she started hanging out with the wrong crowd. I'm terribly worried about him, and I need some advice on how to handle this situation. I don't think it would be entirely beneficial to just tell him he's a dumbass (though that would definitely release some of my frustration), so does anyone have any other suggestions?

Finding a good time to just sit down and talk to him would be best. Just let him know of what he's doing at least and that you're worried about him. It's possible that he's also confused after his parents' divorce. Maybe he thinks that he did something wrong to cause the whole divorce or maybe he was very close to one of his parents and just having to see that parent move out must be difficult to cope with. Well anyway, talking to him will hopefully have your best friend realize his bad decisions. And I agree with the previous answer, it's entirely up to him on how he wants to behave. You don't have to force him to make right decisions...just be there to guide him to do the right thing. And honestly, it's great that you sill care about your best friend even through his sudden change. =)

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Reader,
Well my friend (female) she hates this guy that just asked me to go steady with him. I accepted but then I remembered that my friend and him had been going out 3 years ago and they've hated each other ever since they broke up. She keeps telling me to break up quickly but I really like him. On the other hand I really don't want to lose my friend. What should I do?

Signed,
Confused

Well I understand that your friend is very upset about you dating her ex. But your friend shouldn't tell you who you can or can't be with because it upsets only her.
But if you feel you still want to remain friends with her then you two should find a time to just talk about the situation. You can tell her your love for your boyfriend is something important and special to you, so is the friendship you and your friend have. And honestly, three years is still a bit way back...she shouldn't hold on to a grudge and let the past affect what's happening now.
Don't let her hatred for you boyfriend get in the way of what you truly want.
Hoped this helped you a little! =3

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