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How do I get over losing my best friend?
This is the day after a disastrous holiday with her and we have come to a mutual decision that we don't want to see each other anymore. We always had a difficult relationship due to her ferocious temper and mood swings and my inability to deal with them. While I did love her I always ended up feeling inadequate around her, because according to her, I seemed to get so many things wrong. This came to a head during this holiday, which we went on after I had been away at uni for a year. I was apprehensive about spending a whole week in her company but went really to keep her happy. She had been sniping at me throughout the holiday, saying that I was ringing my boyfriend too much (once a day, she conveniently forgot the whole trip was based around her wanting to go and meet an ex of hers) We were supposed to go for 6 days and on the 4th we had a huge argument where she acted as though the fact that we couldn't find the hostel we should have been staying at was my fault even though we had been given faulty directions. After ringing home to get the correct phone number, I got correct directions, but she was still annoyed. I asked her what else she wanted me to do and we argued. This culminated in her screaming at me in the middle of the street and stalking off, leaving me in a city I didn't know, alone with no map and no phone (it had broken earlier) I was stuck in a phone box having a panic attack (which i am prone to) and had to ring home for help. I got to the hostel and it turned out she was there. She continued to shout at me, and I told her about how I was scared of her and her temper. I said I would go home the next day (earlier than planned) and she said she didn't want to see me again. Not only did this grate on me, as I felt I had more right to say this to her, I now feel very depressed. I hate her now, and I know that when I stop hating her I will still not want to see her but I can't help feeling sad and everything seems to remind me of her. How do I stop thinking about this awful week.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
First of all, I'm really sorry about the situation you're in. It was very kind of you to even go on the trip with her, and the way she reacted to things seems pretty unreasonable. Honestly, I think your mutual decision to not talk or anything is pretty smart at this point.
While it hurts, you have to know this is the right thing to do. Putting yourself through this trouble/hurt for the sake of a shakey friendship, really isn't worth it. There's a lot better out there, and tying yourself down to something like this will only prevent you from finding the good. You have to know that, and try to keep it in mind when you're feeling sad at all.
What I can say to do right now is just to distract yourself. Think of the good times you had, and accept that there were also bad times. Talk to other friends about this, and see how they help you out. Realize the good in your other friends, and see what else there is to be offered to you.
If you feel like you need closure, which could help you stop thinking, write a message or letter to your friend, and then cut off communication. Say exactly how you feel, and don't hold back. If you're not talking anyway, it won't hurt, and will probably help you feel better. It's almost like saying goodbye, which is very sad in a way, but it will give you the sense of peace you probably want.
Assuming you do that, and continue to think, get yourself distracted. Do things that either clear your mind or fill it up. Read a lot more/go out with friends/watch movies/etc. In a while, it won't hurt so much to think about it.
XOXO
KAT.
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Hi there! I definitely understand what you're going through. Pretty much I'm going through the same situation right now actually. But anyway, it's kind of hard to accept how things have turned out so far and feeling the pain of losing a best friend is difficult to pass by. It takes a long amount of time to move on but be patient. Take some time to walk around your neighborhood, listen to some calming music, or just do any of your hobbies to keep your mind busy. It's also hard to do these because your mind keeps reverting back to your situation, but once you do these things daily you'll start to find yourself feeling back to normal and starting to accept that you and your best friend are moving on. I hoped this helped you out a little! =3
Remember, in life there will always be some "hellos" and "goodbyes."
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Hey! My name is Rachel. I know how ya feel. I used to fight with my old best friend A LOT!! And trust me, I used to think I that I'd hate her forever. But then I found out how much I missed her. I'd say the best thing to do right now is take a couple weeks and just be by yourself. It sounds like y'all need some time to chill. But after a few weeks if ya start to miss her, then just write her a note and tell her that ya wish to be friends with her again. Tell her that ya miss her. Now to stop thinkin of the week. Well don't stop thinkin of the week, just stop thinkin of the bad stuff. Think of the fun stuff y'all did. And if ya start to think of the bad stuff then distract yourself. Watch TV or take a walk or somethin. I know it's hard! But try this and let me know how it goes!
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