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Lonely.


Question Posted Tuesday July 29 2008, 11:58 am

Alright, well, I know during the summer alot of people are going on vacation and things, but that's usually only been the case with a couple of my friends. My best friends and me always talk during the summer and hang out and keep in contact as much as we can.


Well, this summer seems to be different. Nobody's really been calling me, or asking me to do anything. My one best friend stopped talking to me for three weeks, and only the other day texted me to tell me how her and another friend of mine got backstage passes to this show. That doesn't make me jealous or anything, and she doesn't seem like the type of person to plot something like that, so it just made me wonder: "why text me now? and why tell me that specifically, really?"


My birthday was also a couple weeks ago. Had a couple "happy birthday" comments sent my way, which was nice, but nobody asked if I wanted to do anything. Even if they were busy THAT day, a hang out offer for another day would've sufficed. I know birthday's [ especially a 17th cause nothing too special happens ] isn't a humungous deal, but I'm the type of person that when things happen with/to friends, it affects me inside.


It's just been confusing me and making me angry. Sitting inside my house alot of my summer, spending my whole birthday alone in my room watching movies, just been making me feel really lonely lately and that either I'm the problem, or the people I have friendships with are the problem. I think it's just dawning on me now cause I keep thinking how it's my senior year, I figured everyone'd wanna especially get together now, this maybe being our "final summer" to spend together and final school year to hang and have a great year together, and ignoring me... isn't the best start.

I'm not even sure what advice I'm asking for here, I think I just wanted to see what other people's views on this was. If they've had friends like this as well, if it's just a "phase" that we all go through, everyone goes through a million friends.


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blublue24 answered Wednesday July 30 2008, 12:07 am:
I definitely understand what you're going through, and the feeling of loneliness can kind of drive you berserk especially during summer when most of the time there isn't much to do. It's very very difficult to accept the possibilities that you and your friends are just drifting. It's also hard to keep telling yourself that it's normal for friends to drift apart and to move on because you fear that you are losing the people you have known for such a long time. But in time, you'll come to accept the way things are and you'll start moving on as well and make new friends.

Still, you can keep in touch with some of them. Just send your friends an invitation to go somewhere like swimming at a public pool or just hang out at places your familiar with at least. When you have the feeling that no one is making the move, you can be the one to give a nudge and don't hesitate to call or text someone! You'll be surprised at whatever comes.

Remember that in life, there will always be "hellos" and "goodbyes."

I hope I helped a little! =3

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Missa8305 answered Tuesday July 29 2008, 12:37 pm:
Could be that you and your current friends are starting to drift apart. Drifting apart is a normal phase of life, especially during your teens. People constantly change... And these personality changes can erode the common ground that you and your friends once shared. Drifting apart can cause you to feel lonely and sad... But I promise that the lonliness and sadness won't last forever.

Or... Could be that if you are always waiting for an invitation... Your friends may think that you don't enjoy spending time with them. They may feel that they are always inviting you to go somewhere... And they may fear that the only reason that you accompany them is because you feel obligated. So... Try extending an invitation once in a while. You could even send a text message that says: 'I'm bored. Let's do something.' If your friends don't respond or are constantly turning you down... Don't sweat it. There is nothing wrong with them, there is certainly nothing wrong with you... You're just drifting. Take their absence as a cue to move on from the old friendships and make new friends.

And whether or not you're drifting... Making new friends never hurt anyone. And it's a lot easier than people think. I remember... When I was still in school I was extremely shy... But one day I saw this girl, she was new to our school, and I thought, 'She looks so lonely.' So... I sat down beside her and simply said: 'Hi. My name is Melissa. How are you?' After that we quickly became friends. Just smile, be confident and positive, and take the extra step to acknowledge people first. Not everyone will respond to this behavior. But a lot of people do. If they respond... Fabulous. If not... Don't sweat the small stuff.

I can also tell you... Some friends are forever... But most simply aren't. I have two friends that I've known since I was eleven-years-old. That's... Fourteen years. But I've had many more friends that have come and gone over the course of my life.

Relax. Everything is going to be just fine.

Take care ;)

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Alypink answered Tuesday July 29 2008, 12:29 pm:
Hi!!!
oh I totally understand, that happens sometimes no worries...
but i'll tell you the truth people wanna hang out with people who they feel close to an have fun with them i really recommend calling your friends or different types of people and just being outgoing and you will totally recieve lots of invitations... believe me... if you lose contact with them they think maybe you don't wanna go out or you don;t wann hang out with them so try calling them. Or maybe invite people to go to the movies and you be the planner... then they will totally invite you...
anyways this happens to everyone so don't sweat it or take it too personal...
take care and anything else just inbox!
toodles
aly~

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