Gender:
FemaleAge:
16Member Since:
February 5, 2005Answers:
646Last Update:
February 24, 2013Visitors:
41405Favorite Columnists
Sherry
Karen
ImHere4u
BunnyInWonderland
Main Categories:
Friendship
General Sex Questions
Love Life
View All
about
advice
i like to sit on a girl's lap. wen i sit i feel i am being cared.i don wanna kiss or anything like that. i jus wanna sit on the lap and feel that affectionate warmth. i weigh 58 kgs(130 lbs).but being a guy is it wrong to sit on a girl's lap??
That is adorable! I don't think it's weird. I think it's cute!!
Welll, Im Friends with this guy and i been talking on the phone with em for couple Days we dont sleep at alljust to stay on the phone and uhh we be talking dirty like him getting boners and im telling em im bi and stuff like that but i dont know if he likes me . he told me that my voice is sexy im like ahh weird
You are being used. From what you expressed here, this guy only likes you for sexually-related reasons. It doesn't seem like he actually knows you or cares to get to know you.
I am pretty nice to the kids in my neighbourhood, and I think they're adorable and all. But I'm starting to get REAL annoyed, it's like I'm a kid magnet and they won't leave me alone. Seriously, no joke. They ring my door-bell right after they come home from school and they want me to play with them or take them to the park.. or they want to come inside my home and watch TV together or bake something together.
I don't mind it sometimes but I can't spend every minute of my day with them EVERY DAY. I go to school, I have work, and I need my own personal time. I think my issue is that I don't know how to say "no" and I feel like I'm being a bad person if I say no to them. But even if I say "oh no, not right now." They keep pestering me, and pestering me. What should I do? What can I do to create boundaries with them?
I can't even sit or eat in my backyward without them running over and invading my backyard.
Talk to their parents. I can understand how hard it is to turn a kid away, but telling the parents that you need more private time will be a good way for them to take care of the dirty work. They can be the ones to set boundaries for when it is appropriate to visit you and when it is not based on your agreement with them.
Tell the parents that there are only certain days of the week that you are available and have the parent call you beforehand to make sure that you are up to having visitors.
i just feel so alone. i mean i have felt like this before but not as much. i think i know why though. it's just that i have 5 close friends right? 1 of them let's call her Sarah (my best friend) doesn't have time for me anymore because she recently got a boyfriend. the other double faced one: Stacia. she's a snob. she has a boyfriend and everyone seems to love her. she's more of a frenemy than a friend. the third: Kristy. she's stacia's shadow. and she and even sarah sometimes end up hurting me when they're around stacia only. then there's lara who's really nice and all. she just got a boyfriend and as you can see i'm not the most popular with the guys... or girls for that matter. i just want to know how i can make a new group of friends. i want to be more outgoing and forget my the friends i have right now. but how? i just end up getting hurt when i'm with them everytime.
Join a club of some sort. The whole point of a club is to bring people with a common interest together. You are pretty much guaranteed to make a friend if you go to one with a genuine interest in what the club is about.
This does not have to be something held at the school. If you want to meet people outside of school, maybe you can join a religious youth group.
Volunteer work is also a possibility.
I made my friend cry because I was teasing her and I was making fun of her favorite band. She's really upset with me and she's crying and I keep telling her I'm sorry but she won't forgive me. What can I do to make her feel better ?
My guess is that the fight wasn't really about the band. Maybe she was having a really bad day and being made fun of was her breaking point.
My suggestion is you ask her if something you don't know about upset her and ask if she's ready to talk about it now or if she needs time.
I am 13....I have a friend named jayde.....it seems like she is always trying to make me feel bad.....she always tlks sh!t bout me.....and she actually tells me herself but its like she's bragging about it...I don't have many friends......I'm fat and ugly..(I think) and I don't have a boyfriend. I can never make new friends. My dad thinks I'm fat. (he's like a toothpick) and my mom thinks I am just depressed.....WHAT DO IDO!??!?!?!?!?!?!
A friend is someone who makes you feel better about yourself not worse. Forget abut Jayde. She is not a very good "friend".
And your dad has no right to be judging your weight. I think you should find a counselor at school to talk with.
16/f
it's going to be valentines day and one of my close friends wants to spend the day together. the thing is i don't really feel like spending time with her. on friday she made a very rude comment towards me, i just laughed it off. She's not the type of person you can talk to about how she makes you feel, it will just create an argument. I also recently stopped smoking weed in order to get myself together and she expects me to smoke with her every time we're together.
pros of going tomorrow:
-i might get to see the guy i like because whenever i hang out with my friend we usually invite him over since he lives close
- i get to get out of the house (very stressful house situation)
cons:
-i waste my money (i always pay for everything with her)
-part of me will feel miserable being with her
should i go? if so what should we do? any other opinions will be highly appreciated.
Why are you friends with her? If you have a hard time communicating with her, then the friendship is not a very good one. It's your life. In the end, you're going to make your own decision, but if it were me, I wouldn't go. I'd find something else to do rather than be in bad company.
i am a 28 year old female i don't know what it is aout me but i can't seem to keep any friends. its not anything that i did its just that people don't like me. ESPECIALLY WOMEN. Women hate my guts they are always talking about me behind my back.I was friends with this girl since 7th grade she slept with my boyfriend behind my back. And i got her a job working where i work and she started talking behind my back spreading rumors about me to all my co-workers.
I was also friends with this girl from high school. and one day for no good reason she just stoped talking me LIKE LITTERALLY she stoped when i called her she did not pick up when i stoped by her house she acted like she wasn't home. and i knew she was home cause i saw her peeping through the window. I was so embarresed. I keep trying to figure it out does my breath stink am i annoying to people its nothing like that at least i don't think so.
And then recently this other girl stoped talking to me. I've known her for years too. She asked me for $500 dollars to pay the rest of her rent. (mind you she always asks me for cash and i always give it to her) $10 here $20 there gas money stuff like that and she never pays me back. This time she asked me for a whole $500 when i told her that i didn't have it she stoped talking to me she acted like i betrayed her or something.
i don't know if i'm the one with the problem or if its everyone else. What do you think?
First off, you shouldn't have to PAY for a friendship. Why would you give her money? Her rent is not your rent. Being a good friend means being there emotionally. Financials are her responsibility.
There's no way to tell who is part of the problem. Sometimes people get tired of each other and move on. Don't take it personally. Grow a thick skin and don't let it get to you.
Try choosing friends with different qualities than the "friends" you just mentioned because it sounds like you were being used.
Okay I have decided That i want a STEADY advice buddy which means that i want to have one specific person (that actually LOVE giving advice) That i can write to wheneva i need advice. Im senseing that some of the advicee that is giving to me is not serious. I wont someone that will actually think the advice that they are about to give to me and not go off their own disappointments. Example: If I ask someone what should i do about my boyfriend I dont want the response to be...(FORGET HIM!!! HE'S NOT WORTH IT) Just because that person have had some problems in their relationship. I wont a person that I can send direct msgs to. I also want someone that wont take FOREVER to respond bacc because I really do need help on some situations. So please, if you feel as if you can be a great advice buddy then please respond. Thanks
you know, I would love to :)
Email me: lisaxfaith@yahoo.com
This girl I met this year in school seemed really cool abd funny. So we started talking and hung out a few tines. She said she wasn't friends with any girls because she doesn't like drama & she doesn't go many places because of drama.
I had like ten friends over and she was one of them and she could not get into group conversation. Someone would be telling a story and she'd interrupt Abd try to have a seperate conversation. She was kind of awkward at this get together. Then the things she says are kind of rude. She wanted to go to this concert and asked ne to go, it was a band I did not like and it was also on my 18th birthday. I was like I can't go it's on my birthday and were going away for the entire day. She said something like "I can't believe your not fucking going with ne I can't find anyone else to go with me I can't believe your not going thanks a lot" I was like geez calm down. I just found that really rude. And then I just got a puppy and I texted " hey what are you doing tomorrow let's hang out you can see mally" she responded back "lol ummmm idk..come over see mally and then leave" like what the heck. And I sent that to two other people and they understood what i said any everything. So what should I do? Say something? Stop talking to her? What would I say?
She sounds insanely rude. You're actually really nice for putting up with her! Stop being THAT nice lol forget about her...you seem to have other friends and for you to recognize that her behavior seems rude means that you're used to being treated better, so stick with the friends you already have! :)
So I'm pretty much in tears right now. When you here it, it'll probably sound retareded but if you were actually "there" it would have felt horrible. Friday, I was suppose to meet my 2 best friends at the mall. I told one of them they had to be there by 6, my parents had plans. So i got there at 6:30, and they were both still at there house, so my parents were like were not leaving you there, were goin to drop you off at the game. So they ended up callin and i was like sorry my parents made me go to the game. The next day, i went to my friends house and i was going to invite one of the friends from the other night but she was like "oh i don't wanna go with her" So i texted her and was like whats ur problem? my parents said i couldnt go blah blah blah. Then she just started cursing at me, saying how i am nobody and how my mom "buys me love" and all this stuff that eventually made me just break down crying. Then on Monday the other girl who wasnt involved but also was one of my "best friends" from that night just texted me saying i have no right to tell this girl stuff i said (which i don't know what was bad) and how i was nothing and needed a reality check. My mom eventually saw all of this and texted them both back saying to please stop. Then the girls mom got involved and called my mom, where my mom started to yell at her because she already had problems before (we took the girl on a trip, and her parents pretty much didn't even thank them and yelled at them after) so now im stuck. I just lost my 2 best friends, my moms pissed, and I'm just alone. Help?
Those girls don't sound nice at all. Why would they bring up stuff like your mom "buys you love"?
How is that even relevant to the situation? It sounds like they had some harsh feelings building up about you before this happened and they decided to just pour it all out because they thought it would be the right moment since there was already conflict. If you have a friend who goes as far as making you cry...you're better off without them!
long...sorry :(
I'm a brand new freshman in highschool.
over the summer i grew up and i (thought) i became way prettier, nicer, and more outgoing
lately, it seems like i'm a total FREAK. it seems like EVERYONE is making fun of me while i'm standing right there. every time im by myself in the hall or a class and i hear someone in a group of people laugh i get nervous and i just want to cry and try to make myself as invisible as possible.
i think it all started awhile ago with this little thing on facebook called honesty box (where you ask a question like "what do you really think of me?" and people can answer anonymously)and someone wrote "gross." and then we talked back and forth and basically they pretended they were my best friend (even though my actual best friend was with me while it was happening) and even though they didn't say anything actually insulting, (they would say things like "so, hows school?" and "i love you so much your too funny!") i could tell it was some girl making fun of me with one of her friends or something.
now i think that everybody thinks i'm a freak or something. i'm one of those people who TOTALLY over think things. but ive also picked up on people who are ACTUALLY talking about me while i'm right there...like pointing at me subtly and saying something to their friend or when a bunch of people all look at me (not very subtly) and then burst out laughing
the really weird thing is is that i have like two different people in me kind of...one is shy and quiet and awkward and just wants to break down crying from all the anxiety, and the other one is confident and happy and flirty. the second person comes out on the bus to and from school...thats where i get TONS of attention from everyone. there aren't really any wicked popular girls that the guys can talk to i guess, so they all joke with me and tell me im really good looking and stuff like that...and i always feel so happy. i just wish it was like that all the time.
i dont really have much of a question, this was more to get it all out there...
i guess my question is why would people make fun of me while at the same time im cool and beautiful on the bus? i just really don't understand it. and also what can i do to stop overthinking things? and how to NOT be made fun of like that? if youve got anything else feel free to say it..
and please dont hesitate to say what you really think because i need to know
thanks :)
A good way to stop "overthinking" everything is to LIVE IN THE MOMENT.
Do not worry about what people have said/will say.
Ordinarily, people will not think harsh things about you...I mean, do you think harshly of others...?
Probably not...so don't think they're doing that to you! It's just your mind getting the best of you.
Do not be afraid to shine!
so basiclly im a 16 year old girl. in an all girls highschool. and there are only about 35 girls in my grade, and like 6 or 7 of them have their little "popular clique" which i am like right on the outside of . i have known them all for a long time and i am freinds with most of them. but im not really part of their group. how do i join in? i warn you they are quite exclusive and rude.
and please dont tell me to "just be myself" because im not planning on making a bunch of ridiculous changes to fit in. i just want to join their group.
please help me!
You just said they were "rude". Why would you want to hang around with them?
im not the most confident of people okay but my best friend is an she always is sayin to me god you are so boring and sometimes if im on msn the same times as sh is she will talk to me like usuall an vice versa but last night she started talkin to me but was acting really strange so i was just givin one word ansers bcause i could tell it was not her but it was her sister who all ways likes to take the piss out of everyone an she started saying to me you dont say much do you an i said no not really lol so then she said well start a convo with me then so i did but all she said was boring so i just went offline there was no pont in trying because whatever i said she would of ansered boring so i need some idears on how to be more confident an more idears on how to start convo's with her but my best friend i mean not her sister :)
you're not boring. don't let anyone convince you that you are.
you just need to express yourself better. I mean...wouldn't you think a quiet person is boring? and that would be because they aren't talking. (expressing themselves)
I don't mean talk non-stop, but come up with some interesting topics like concerts coming to the area...say what you're thinking and don't be so critical of what you're about to say.
i luv the show made on mtv. and my friend wants me to help her get a date and help her confidence. were both 16/female. if any of you have any ideas on what 'challenges' i can give her to help her i'd appreicatie it =]
1. have her wear something bright and obnoxious, but with style..it'd make a lot of sense if she did this in public...do this one with her so she won't feel as strange.
2. make her pay compliments to at least three guys within the mall.
3. when she goes to a place to eat...she should ask a male worker what they would reccommend.
those are all I can think of, good luck!
Okay, so one of my friends, lets call her Jamie, is always making fun of my dislexia (and for those of you who dont know, dislexia is a learning disability that, for me, pervents me from reading and writing well).
She always laughs at me when I miss spell a easy word, or cant read a easy word. I also studder when I talk, which she makes fun of.
When i try to defend myself and bring up the fact that im getting strate A's, she brings up the fact that i can only write at a 4th grade level and have to type everything because my handwriting is unreadable.
Anytime i tell her to stop, she tells me to relax and that its just a joke. What should i do?
13/f
She should be lifting you up and showing how much she supports you. Have a talk with her in a serious setting and let her know that the teasing becomes hurtful. If she can't seem to stop, then it's best to leave her. You don't need to have her in your company if she can't treat you any better.
15 / f
i have known this girl since elementary school, and we have been "best friends" (i've had other best friends in between until i realized it's pointless to have just ONE best friend).
i've never really had many classes with her throughout middle school, but this year, my freshman year of high school, she's in virtually all my classes.
now at first, we were both elated! we finally got to see each other more often.
but that soon turned around. by december, i knew that i was ready to burst. it hit me. she was absolutely perfect. but the ONE little tiny thing that just made me scream and caused nights of crying myself to sleep was the fact that: every. single. grade. in every. single. one of our mutual classes. she ALWAYS gets the same or (more often) BETTER grade than me on EVERYTHING. homework, tests, quizzes, projects, you name it. and it made me want to vomit. i tried SO HARD. i even bought a new desk to get myself motivated enough to do my homework and really really study.
no one has any idea i feel this way about her. i hate her more than anyone on the face of the planet, pretending to be her best friend. everytime i look at her i just want to slap her. that's all. just give her one hard slap and give her brain cells a little ride so she'll stop getting less than 110% on EVERYTHING.
and what makes it worse? besides the fact that she's always trying to ask me what's wrong and comfort me when she's the problem, after several tests we've taken, she's CONVINCED. like ABSOLUTELY FUCKING CONVINCED. that she failed. and like usually i HATE being like, "oh that wasn't so bad" cause i don't get a 100. but she was CONVINCED. we both get our tests back the day after, and she got an A and i got a B. and i was BEYOND irate.
i'm naturally an extremely jealous person, but she is in 203849023 clubs and she's always saying how she never has anytime to do anything yet she finds the time to do better than ME and i barely do one club.
someone has to help me. i'm seriously losing it. i try so HARD on everything and she reads a packet once and gets a 100 and i read it 20 times, highlight, and outline and get a 95. she's ALWAYS better than me. and i severely need advice on how the hell do deal with this situation. and it's not like i can just go upto her and be like, "dude, i hate you. you're too perfect." and i've TRIED studying WITH her but it makes me want to puke being near her. i tried, i tried. it does no good. i try to get away from her as much as possible and not talk to her but it's hard. it's not that she's a really nosy person, she actually cares about me. it's not that she's a bad person either, i just want to look at my report card and be proud. and i can't. i want to cry.
in conclusion, help me stop being so jealous of this girl's grades and / or life to the point of violent thoughts taking over my brain.
Why should she stop being outstanding?
Is it so you could be the one on top and everyone can envy you?
You say that you dislike the position she's in when it really sounds that you want to replace her. If you're going to be mad at anyone, leave her out of it. Very few people could be as good a friend as she is and you should embrace your friendship with her. She should be an inspiration to you. Do not allow yourself to get discouraged because your relationship with her should not be a competition. After all, no matter what: there's always going to be someone better than us at something...why not try our bests and be content with the notion?
how can i be a happy person if:
i hate where i live
i dislike every person who lives here
i am a moody person and get annoyed very easily
i go on and off with friends, like ill not like them, except one of them, for a week, then get annoyed with that person, and switch off (etc.)
sometimes i dont like any of them
after broke up with my bf almost 3 months ago, i forgot how to be happy, even though im over him now
i couldnt change friends even if i wanted to. the transition wouldnt be worth it.
please teach me how to be happy. i cant make myself have a better outlook on life. it just doesnt work. ill have happy times, but it doesnt last for long.what do i do with myself? i liked it better before i faced the reality of life. last year i was oblivious now after my 5 month relationship, i cant find that same high spirited person i used to be. where did that person go? how can i be that person again? how do i stop my moodiness? i cant help it.
thanks;;
xhopeless
Well, here is a really fantastic site that will brighten your outlook:
http://www.spiritualityandpractice.com/
Choose a "practice" to the right.
As for your friends; you could do without them. Your relationship with them is unstable and that could be hard to handle. Even if it means being a loner for a few days, distance yourself from them. You need to figure out who you've been and how to arrive at such a point. Doing so, is easier once you have some moments to yourself.
Hey, I have this friend, a girl. She desperately needs to cry, but she is emotionless and cold. How can I bring her to tears or otherwise help her turn on the waterworks.
Show her this video:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=fOYF0bVYa1Y
It's about a girl who lost her dad due to 9/11 and it's beyond beautiful.
i have a friend who is new to my school.she follows me everywhere and she is annoying ,and tries to hard.i want to find a way to get rid of her without hurting her feelings because i used to be and act like her.
Out of all people, you have got to sympathize with her since you've been in her position. She adores you and although that does get annoying; that is not a reason to give up on her. Teach her about herself, by pointing out her strong points; she'll soon realize she can give you some more space.