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a perfect girl
15 / f
i have known this girl since elementary school, and we have been "best friends" (i've had other best friends in between until i realized it's pointless to have just ONE best friend).
i've never really had many classes with her throughout middle school, but this year, my freshman year of high school, she's in virtually all my classes.
now at first, we were both elated! we finally got to see each other more often.
but that soon turned around. by december, i knew that i was ready to burst. it hit me. she was absolutely perfect. but the ONE little tiny thing that just made me scream and caused nights of crying myself to sleep was the fact that: every. single. grade. in every. single. one of our mutual classes. she ALWAYS gets the same or (more often) BETTER grade than me on EVERYTHING. homework, tests, quizzes, projects, you name it. and it made me want to vomit. i tried SO HARD. i even bought a new desk to get myself motivated enough to do my homework and really really study.
no one has any idea i feel this way about her. i hate her more than anyone on the face of the planet, pretending to be her best friend. everytime i look at her i just want to slap her. that's all. just give her one hard slap and give her brain cells a little ride so she'll stop getting less than 110% on EVERYTHING.
and what makes it worse? besides the fact that she's always trying to ask me what's wrong and comfort me when she's the problem, after several tests we've taken, she's CONVINCED. like ABSOLUTELY FUCKING CONVINCED. that she failed. and like usually i HATE being like, "oh that wasn't so bad" cause i don't get a 100. but she was CONVINCED. we both get our tests back the day after, and she got an A and i got a B. and i was BEYOND irate.
i'm naturally an extremely jealous person, but she is in 203849023 clubs and she's always saying how she never has anytime to do anything yet she finds the time to do better than ME and i barely do one club.
someone has to help me. i'm seriously losing it. i try so HARD on everything and she reads a packet once and gets a 100 and i read it 20 times, highlight, and outline and get a 95. she's ALWAYS better than me. and i severely need advice on how the hell do deal with this situation. and it's not like i can just go upto her and be like, "dude, i hate you. you're too perfect." and i've TRIED studying WITH her but it makes me want to puke being near her. i tried, i tried. it does no good. i try to get away from her as much as possible and not talk to her but it's hard. it's not that she's a really nosy person, she actually cares about me. it's not that she's a bad person either, i just want to look at my report card and be proud. and i can't. i want to cry.
in conclusion, help me stop being so jealous of this girl's grades and / or life to the point of violent thoughts taking over my brain.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Why should she stop being outstanding?
Is it so you could be the one on top and everyone can envy you?
You say that you dislike the position she's in when it really sounds that you want to replace her. If you're going to be mad at anyone, leave her out of it. Very few people could be as good a friend as she is and you should embrace your friendship with her. She should be an inspiration to you. Do not allow yourself to get discouraged because your relationship with her should not be a competition. After all, no matter what: there's always going to be someone better than us at something...why not try our bests and be content with the notion?
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It might help to think of it this way. Your friend/classmate sounds like a perfectionist. She is actually harder on herself than you are on her--I mean sweating it out thinking that she failed when she never does. She has no self confidence.
Don't sweat it that you are not like her, everyone and I mean everyone has some kind of talent and something that they are good at. If you try the hardest you can and do the best you can that is reason enough to be proud. Think of all the people with a sucky attitude that don't even try!
If you can, try to switch modes until it becomes a habit. Congratulate her on a job well done, build her up, all that positive energy will return to you. Karma..it has a strange way of working. You will then soon find something that you can do better than her.
While good grades are nice, there are plenty of average people in this world that become very successful!
I am going to give you kudos for caring about your grades...that says a lot, but don't ruin friendships over it.
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Note: Left after feedback: Wow! Actually if you read my answer, it does give you tips to not be jealous. Change your approach and it will become habit. When someone is bitter and hateful it will be more difficult, but you can change! the "get a grip" was probably better advice. Have a good day!
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Okay i am sorry not trying to come off as a rude bi**h but you need to get a flippin grip! you are focusing too much on how perfect she is! honey perfect girls are not real. You just have to face the fact that there will always be someone better at you than something! Yes she may make good grades and there are people like that but you cannot do anything about it. And you being her friend when you really hate her is crap. Apparently you dont hate her too much or else you wouldnt be pretending to be her friend. Its not fair to you or her if your gonna be hating her secretly while she is actually caring about you like a TRUE friend. There is really nothing i can tell you about your jealousy problem other than tell her how you feel and move on. It is a sucky waste of time to be sitting around planning revenge on a girl that didnt do a thing to you. Yes i know some people are just so something it makes you sick. I have had that feeling. But you got to know you are doing YOUR best NOT HERS! as long as you try you should be proud of yourself and not be a comparison to others. If she talks about how she "failed a test" tell her to shut up and move on because that is honestly what i would do. Im just open like that.
-hayley
----sorry i wasnt trying to be rude....and im not doing this to change my rating....you give me what you think i deserve...But basically i just think that as long as your doing your best then you are great! So once again sorry for my rudeness and you are NOT a horrible person.
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It seems like you a spending way too much time thinking about how perfect she is and what good grades she get's. Don't think of her as better than you because she's not but some people just have to work harder thn others. If you do the best you can then don't beat yourself up and no one is pefect, not even that girl.Maybe she feels like she has to prove herself because deep down she is inscureand doesn't feel good enough.Don't hate her for being smart, just forget about her grades and worry about your own.
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