about

Hello, my name is Sarah and I'm a sophmore in highschool. I've been through many exhausting and depressing trials with friendship and drama and know my fair share of heartbreak. If you have a problem I'll be here to answer so don't be hesitant. :]

advice

I'm a 15 year old girl. There's this guy I know. I really like him. Like, really like him. But last week I found out he was a total pothead and it's /really/ tearing me up. I don't know the whole story, like how much he uses and when and stuff, but he knows this kid who I think is a dealer and they hang out a lot. The kid was teaching him how to smoke out of a pen. I don't know if I should tell anyone, since I have no proof, try and get someone to check him out, or just keep quiet. I'm just... So confused. And it hurts a lot, seeing as he's such a great guy. I don't want him to end up with serious damage. Any advice?

I totally understand. Well, it's different for me I guess. One of my good friends just started getting involved with this kind of drug that's really this cough medicene, that if you take enough of becomes a hallucinogen.

I really, really hate it when they do it and it hurts me because they're my friend and I don't want them to get hurt or to ruin their life.

So what I've done, is I've told them I don't want to be their friend until they stop, we could talk, but I didn't want to hang out with them, or give them a hug or anything. In a nutshell it was the cold shoulder. I expressed that I really hated what they were doing to themselves, and that it really hurts me to see them like that.


Either show him, or tell him that you don't like it when he smokes pot. Pot is not physically addictive, but it is mentally addictive. People like how you zone out, how you don't have to think about anything that's going on in your life. And also people just find it to be a good past time.


You obviously really like this guy, and it's sincere. So don't give up on him, push him to change and to stop. Show him out bad it is for him. Make him see how much you worry.


:) good luck. And if you need anymore help, don't hesitate to ask.
--Sarah

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my parents dont approve of my friends and are going to great lenghts to keep them away from me. but my parents have never met any of my friends and dont really no anything about them, they only judged them by their appearance. so now i am afraid that we will begin to driff apart and i guess not be friends anymore, b/c i havent seen any of them since school ended & im not going to the same school next year b/c of boundries and i just dont want to forget about all of my friends and just move on.

please help

As hard as it is, your parents are trying to do what's best for you, or what at least they think is best. People do that to me all the time, but do they ever stop to figure out that I make good grades in advanced classes, that I play on a select soccer team, that I'm an artist.. maybe a sort of decent one at that? If your parents just MET your friends, maybe they'd be different. You just have to set something up for something of that accord to happen. Because it's not fair to judge on appearance, that's not what the person IS.. I mean, would your parents want other people to judge them? Even though you are going to a different school, you can still hang out with friends. I have soccer friends that don't go to my school but we still hang out. But to sum it up, you have to get your parents to meet your friends, if you can't beat um join um. Try and follow their wishes and get your friends to tell them good things about themselves that will make your parents trust them. Just bring them to your house for a little while and let them talk, I'm sure your parents will be fine after that and if they aren't, please drop another message by. Best of luck.

-Sarah

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Okay , this girl moved from another part of the town to the part i live in around last year . I was quite popular in school. I became friends with her because i thought she was sweet and friendly. But since last month ( or maybe even before that ,who knows?) she started backstabbing me , but still acted nice and sweet and oh-so-innocent in front of me .I have been busy for some time because of some commitments i have , so i didn't realise this until last week . None of my old friends talk to me as much as before , and now even when i sms my best guy friend , he'll talk about her smsing him at the same time .And it seems as though all of them like her more than they like me , and my best guy friend ( former ? ) he'll say stuff like :" oh , me and her and ___ and ___ and ___ are real close man " Without even including ME ! And if he wants to go somewhere he'll say :"if she goes , i'll go . " It turns out she's been saying stuff behind my back , and now , SHE'S where i used to be , with MY friends , and MY popularity .Even my crush seems to sorta like her , and pay attention to her like how he used to do with me . WHAT SHOULD I DO ?

step one: Take knife from kitchen drawer.
step two: deposite sharp end of knife between the shoulder blades of sed girl that is being a kaniving lying little bitch.
step three: deposite body in trench on the side of the road.
step four: replace her little act and get the glory.. WOO for something that only last for a few years.
step five: spend all your time with partys and guys and then fuck up your life.
step six: school ends, you have to drop out. But at least you've still go friends right?
step seven: friends all left you, and now you live with your parents, bored as hell and lonely as ever.

yay.

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Ok well me and my best friend both like the same guy!!and like its big time like,so u cant stop liking him.hehe confusing i know.and so like he was saying he wants to "do stuff" with me then he turns around nd says he wants to "do stuff" with her adn tells her not to tell me because he doesnt want to ake me mad.and like we just want him to pick one of us because its getting like jealousy.but if he picks one of us then one of us will get jealous but we want him to soo like hehe whta do we do??????thanks soo much and ya i know its a little confusing! 14/f

p.s. i really really like him!

hm, I think maybe you need to learn that guys are not worth it, NO GUY, I mean seriously. You can like a guy, ALOT, I know what that's like, but he shouldn't rule your world or be controlling over your friendship.



You could take the other root and kill your friend though... I suggest a shotgun, more blood. :)

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i used to be best friends with...lets call her Jenny, and now one of my other good friends is hanging out with her way more and they're hanging out which wouldnt be a problem except when i ask her if they hung out she says no..or doesnt answer me!! i know it sounds babyish but i need help!

She is probably trying to protect your feelings, maybe she thinks your feeling left out, and doesn't want to talk about a time she had with her friend without you to your face. If you want her to tell you though just ask, it's always the easiest way.

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Okay. Well, I met this person over the summer and we became really good friends. But then my friend met this OTHER person at a camp she went to, and now all she talks about is him! She keeps bringing him up and talks about how cool he is, and how she wished they lived closer together. It really hurt me, but I didn't say anything because I didn't want to make her feel bad. But then last night, she said that he was cooler than me, and I snapped at her to quit talking about him. I think she mad at me now, she won't talk to me. I still want to be friends with her, but... What should I do?

You were right to think it was sort of uncomfortable if she talked about her other friend all the time. Maybe she thinks you have had other friends and aren't her friend anymore.. so she feels the need to talk about her new friend to make up for it, and seem like she has friend of her own. You've already confronted her about it, so now you've got another hill to get over. I think you should tell her what you told me. "you still want to be friends with her." If you show you care, and that it really hurt your feelings for her to be constantly talking about someone else, then maybe she'll understand, and stop, and be more understanding of how you feel about your relationship.

I hope I helped, if you need anymore help or there was something I wasn't clear enough on ask me a more direct question. :) good luck.

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Hi I'm 13 and I have never been very popular and I have never had many friends at school. I was always the straight A student and the goody goody and thats just how I was. But this year I decided to try to make friends. A lot of friends. I started to bend the rules a little bit. Once I found out that I could get away with anything because I was comsidered the good child I just couldn't stop. I became very popular and started not doing my homework. I figured whats wrong with that? I'm just like evryone else I'm not weird I'm cool. But now I'm rude and I don't care about my work at all. I ruined my straight A's and now I don't know what to do. I just want to go back and be able to control my self and not have the pressure to keep my so called frineds. What can I do?

#1, set aside time for your hw.. before you go out and do ANYTHING else.. go do it. With the extra time you can do stuff with your friends. Popularity isn't everything in life because your grades are mostly what matter now, but friends are good to have there to back you up. You'll find out who your real friends are when you go back to being your real self.

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ok im planning a sweet 16 at a hotel..i was wondering how i can control the people who come in? i dont want people who arent invited or random teenagers who are hotel guests popping in. Any suggestions? 5's for anyone who isnt obnoxious

You could always hire bouncers for your party.. the big guys that wear black intimidating tuxedos.. :D

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Im so sick of this. I have a friend and one weekend we were suppost to go to the mall together, Well I kinda ditched her.. but anyway the thing is one my birthday she ditched me!! Well today my other friend basically ditched me.. its not like I havent felt it before and I told her about it. She said "It sucks right?" So I said "Well duh.. but wouldnt it suck more if it was on your fricking birthday?!?" and I walked away... I feel bad.. but then I dont want to talk to her. What do I do?

Ok.. you.. ditched her.. first. Take that into consideration. You know, revenge is sorta wrong.. but you had it coming in my opinion. She shouldn't have done it on your birthday.. that was a tinge worse than you ditching her at the mall.I think you need to apologize to her because afterall.. you did start this mess for some reason or another..

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hey, i just had an idea to make my friend a cd. One with cheerful songs so when she's feeling sad it will make her feel better. Does anyone know some good songs that will put her in a good mood?
Thanks!

Be Happy - by Bowling for soup sorta makes me happy when I'm down.. xD

I'm too tired to give more suggestions.. haha

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My 'friend' is ruining my life!!!!!!! She talks crap on me and ALL of my other good friends all the time! She spreads rumors that arent true! She is a SLUT and she is pround of it! You just can't stop her she is like this bug you just can't kill and I don't know what to do! What can I do to make her stop doing this?!?! She has new friends now, and I know she is going to ruin their lives as well. I dont want them going through the pain I went through because of her. THey say they don't like her at all, but they still are nice to her and hang around her. I know if they keep making her think that they are freinds that she will go around and screw them over jsut like she did to me and my other good friend. What can I say/do to make it stop before it happens? Thanks! I RATE HIGH! :)

Why do you care so much about the other people? I say it's their funeral.. teh

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one group of my friends drink a lot and i dont really care that much about it. im not against it or anything. my only concern is that i know sometime i will be involved in a situation where i will be asked if i want a drink... the thing is, i have never drank before, i don't want to say no, but i don't want to get the reputation that i always do that stuff. whats your advice?

oooOOhhH PeeER PreSSuuure... lol

haha, well.. my advice is you should try and stay away from those situations as much as you can. Know that you have the choice to say 'no' your friends don't control your actions, and if they are good friends they will respect your morals. :)

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My friend and I met online from another friend of mine. We were always good friends, but the only time ( it seemed like)we get in to fights is online. It's kind of weird now seeming that we met online. I mean, It seems like just because I wanted to meet her, we have gotten in a fight.

Any Advice?

~.CoOkIe~.

She's probably feeling a little scared. I know I will never ever meet anyone in the flesh that I've met on the internet, unless it's through a controlled service because there are so many wierdos and child porn sickos out there that will trick you into thinking they are a kid but really aren't. You should respect how she feels about that sort of thing because in my opinion she's making the right decision. Hope I helped a little, though I was sort of confused by your question, hope I answered the right thing. If you need anymore advice you know where to find me.

!Sarah

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ok, well my two friends ALWAYS fight. and this time it's about depression aka attention. anyways, my friend (we'll call mandy) had depression all this year because of guys. every single one that she liked, didn't like her, but my other friend (call her taryn). taryn has always been pretty popular,and now has a very popular boyfriend. anyhow, back to the real story. when mandy told us that she had depression, i was the only one that comforted her. a girl (call her sam) was mandy's best friend since like 4th grade. and sam didn't even say anything positive when mandy told her about her depression. and now, like a week ago, taryn told everyone that SHE was depressed. and when she told everyone, sam was like all over her asking if she was ok and stuff.so, sam made it seem like she only cared about taryn, and not mandy whom she was friends with much longer. this is confusing, but important. they are fighting and both of them are asking ME what THEY should do, and I don't even know what I should do. plz, anything constructive will help! i rate 5's!
~mandy

I would answer no matter what you rate, but here it is.

OK so first, you should tell Sam that she should probably have been more considerate of how mandy was feeling. If you think about it, it sounds like Sam isn't really her friend anymore, you know, sometimes that happens, you just gotta know that you pick some friends up and lose some on the way. I've had my fair share of that and know what it's like though, and it's probably hard for Mandy to take it that she's losing her friend. If anything, you should get THEM to talk to eachother and don't give any advice, just let them talk. It'll decide whether they are friends anymore or not because you don't want to be in the middle of this and frankly if this were happening to me, I wouldn't either. To be a good mediator, you can't let your opinions get in the way, you have to let them make up their own solutions to the problem and work it out amongst themselves. I hope I helped a little with your problem. If you need anymore just ask, I always answer, :)

!Sarah

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my friend has depression and shes not taking her pills and she doesnt realize it makes her worse. she thinks it makes her better. and we got into a fight and we are over it now but i dont want this to happen again. she thinks the pills dont help but they do!!! and i dont want to lose my temper and say "WELL IF YOU TOOK YOUR PILLS WE WOULDN'T BE IN THIS SITUATION!!!" because i know thats mean. but i dont want to just sit here either?

any advice?

You know.. when you take pills you feel sort of controlled, backed into a corner.. don't you think that maybe she's feeling sort of trapped. You've got to be patient because it's all her decision. I have a few friends that are ADD and sometimes they are just sick of taking the medicene.. I mean I had to take a bunch of pills once for strep for about two weeks and I felt like I was gonna crack. I felt like all my emotions and feelings were controlled by it.. and being myself I hate being controlled or forced. Why don't you try and be conciderate of her feelings, you'd probably feel the same way. In the meantime try and be nice? I mean what could it hurt.. maybe that's the kind of medicene she needs.. a smile, a hug. Just some suggestion, and advice as always. If you need anymore, I'm always around. :)

!Sarah

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I'm 14 years old, female and in the 9th grade. I've been sick for 4 1/2 months now, out of school and everything with an illness called colitis which is a disease in your large intestine and causes constant trips to the bathroom...it's embarassing yeah, but it's not like i picked to have this. Anyways, i would have thought being sick would bring me and my friends closer together but really, it ripped us apart. My best friend, or at least thought she was my best friend, completely ditched me 24/7 and said some really mean things to me and she lives right down the street from me and not once outa the 4 months did she come to my house to just visit with me and whenever she needs me, i'm ALWAYS there for her and like i wanna end the friendship cuz she is just a complete b**** like you wouldn't believe but the thing is, its hard to end the friendship as much as i wanna cuz i have so much fun with her. I need advice on what to do!! It's been driving me crazy for months on what to do and i just don't know anymore...:/

If she wasn't there for you she isn't your best friend. Plain and simple. I think you should at least tell her your feelings before you tell her that it probably can't work.. I mean the base of a best friendship is being there for eachother.. it's like the foundation, and without it nothing can build..

p.s. sorry your sick.. that sounds horrible.

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I have this friend who always talks about me but is like in all my classes. I don't really like her but my other friends get all mad at me if i get mad at her. Should i just tell her i dont wanna be her friened or should i be her friend?

I think that if you two really don't get a long that you should try and ignore her. Try and explain to your friends that just because she is their friend, doesn't mean she has to be yours. Sometimes people just don't get along, that's the natural order, people shouldn't be forced to get along because sometimes it just doesn't work. You don't have to tell her you don't want to be her friend, just explain that you guys just can't be friends, it's nothing you have against her, you guys just don't get along. Hope I helped, always.

!Sarah

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my friend is always getting pissed at my for the littlest things like, she called my name and i didn't hear her so she ignored me. and, i wrote someone a note and she got jealous, and i didn't invite her to go on vacation with me(i didn't invite anyone) and she was mad. if i talk to someone she doesn't know she gets jealous and thinks that i'm not her friend anymore. i don't hink this is normal. i mean, it's not like she's obsessed with me. i think she's just like jealous or wants to be better than me. am i right? what should i do? she's gettin pretty annoying

Your friend is probably feeling pretty jealous of your other friends that are 'seeming' to get the attention she obviously wants. Why don't you go out and do something, just the two of you, with her. She'll probably be happy you noticed her and if you guys have been friends for long enough that she needs your friendship so badly then I think that you should have a fun time. Try not to get impatient with her, I've been there and know what it's like to feel like I'm losing my friends. Believe me it's harder than you think.

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The most popular girl in school (i was O.K friends with her) moved to Arizona (i'm in Virginia) and I am happY! SOOO HAPPY! Cause i like being the center of attention. All my bestfriends are sad though, because they liked her! I didn't really though! Is it wrong to be glad???? Cause I feel really bad.

NO! it is not wrong to be happy if someone you hate is gone.. but I think it's a little stuck up to want to be the center of attention.. but that's just me because I'm a reserved person.. but anyway. Be nice with your friends and don't show your happy too much, it's sorta rude to your other friends who did like her.

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well, i have been friends with this girl named bria for about like 5 years now. but now that we are in 9th grade she is gettting kinda anoying. like she will just walk up to me in the hall and be like "are you still my best friend?" and stuff like that. it is kinda embarressing. she isnt like "popular" and i am. she is also like giving me lectures about what i should wear and what i shouldnt. like one day i was wearing a trucker hat and she came up to me and riped it off my head...infront of everyone. what should i do...should i tell her how i feel or not...b/c i know if i tell her how i really feel she will be x-treamly pissed off or something like that. I NEED HELP!!!!

i rate high to!!!!

-steph

ok first.. the whole "o, I'm popular and too cool for my friend thing." sounds really really bitchy and superficial. I know I have lost SO many friends because I wasn't cool enough and you have no idea how much that can hurt someone. And the trucker hat thing.. dude, preps ruined it. Seriously... just like they are ruining converse.. -_-

but anyway, you've been her friend for five years.. FIVE YEARS.. are you really ok with dropping it because she is concerned about your friendship, and is afraid of losing you? Console her that you are still her friend, like, go to the mall with her, go do something because I'm sure that if you guys have made it this long then she won't be much different. You should tell her how you feel if you still feel that way after because she obviously cares and it would probably crush her if you decided that she wasn't good enough to be your friend anymore.

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