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I'm somewhat in the middle...
ok, well my two friends ALWAYS fight. and this time it's about depression aka attention. anyways, my friend (we'll call mandy) had depression all this year because of guys. every single one that she liked, didn't like her, but my other friend (call her taryn). taryn has always been pretty popular,and now has a very popular boyfriend. anyhow, back to the real story. when mandy told us that she had depression, i was the only one that comforted her. a girl (call her sam) was mandy's best friend since like 4th grade. and sam didn't even say anything positive when mandy told her about her depression. and now, like a week ago, taryn told everyone that SHE was depressed. and when she told everyone, sam was like all over her asking if she was ok and stuff.so, sam made it seem like she only cared about taryn, and not mandy whom she was friends with much longer. this is confusing, but important. they are fighting and both of them are asking ME what THEY should do, and I don't even know what I should do. plz, anything constructive will help! i rate 5's!
~mandy
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I think you should really be there for Mandy since she's less popular, without a guy, and had an old friend betray her like Sam did. I don't think you should ignore Taryn or anything, but it seems like Mandy can fall deeper into depression in her situation. Good luck. =D
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Tell them both that you don't want to be put in the middle of all this.Let them fight it out amongst themselves!
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I would answer no matter what you rate, but here it is.
OK so first, you should tell Sam that she should probably have been more considerate of how mandy was feeling. If you think about it, it sounds like Sam isn't really her friend anymore, you know, sometimes that happens, you just gotta know that you pick some friends up and lose some on the way. I've had my fair share of that and know what it's like though, and it's probably hard for Mandy to take it that she's losing her friend. If anything, you should get THEM to talk to eachother and don't give any advice, just let them talk. It'll decide whether they are friends anymore or not because you don't want to be in the middle of this and frankly if this were happening to me, I wouldn't either. To be a good mediator, you can't let your opinions get in the way, you have to let them make up their own solutions to the problem and work it out amongst themselves. I hope I helped a little with your problem. If you need anymore just ask, I always answer, :)
!Sarah
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You probably don't want to get into their business, to start off, none of these girls are depressed, they are just sad, I'm not sure why Taryn thinks she is depressed, but Mandy is just sad because like lots of girls, the ones she likes, don't feel the same, this is just temporary sadness, meaning its not permanent. Mandy may think shes depressed, like really think she is, but Taryn is who you call an attention seeker, a popular girl acting as if shes depressed, Mandy sounds like one too, sorry to sound rude, but its true, so basically, you need to tell these girls to just get over it, they were rude enough to throw you in the middle, tell Mandy that shes not depressed, and shes just sad, and you will continue to help her through it, as for Sam, maybe Mandy just needs to stop talking to her, because Sam sounds like somebody whose dying to be popular, so she comforts the popular, so shes treating Mandy like dirt, Taryn needs to get over herself at supposedly being depressed, and tell her to get over it and you don't want to hear her say it, you can still be friends with her, but she needs to staighten herself out, if shes popular, what more attention does she need?
-TheTeenGirl
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Okay. First off you are a great friend. If they both ask you for advice yuo should give them your honest opinian. Dont make this situation bigger that it actually is. For example if Mandy comes to you for comfort.. COMFORT HER!! ((AS YOU WERE DOING)) If Taryn come for comfort, dont really comfornt her she has a boyfiend + a friend who thinks she is the only one that cares you know? Anyway, just talk to them both at the same time and see what up. Ask Mandy why shes depressed and try to help her with what she is depresed about.
Always there..
Donna
ps. sorry if im not much help... if you have any furthur questions you can just drop one in my inbox =)
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Seems like Sam is just caring about Taryn...maybe because Sam wants to be popular too? So I think Mandy should talk to Sam about it, and ask why she didnt even care about the whole depression thing. One thing that works is you could all sit together, and everyone can say how they feel (without being interrupted) and when everyone has a turn, you could all talk about it and hopefully resolve things. One thing you cant do is yell/scream/fight...that just makes matters worse. If you ALL want to make things better, you have to be willing to listen to eachother and respect eachothers feelings.
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If you haven't already, I would talk to Sam about how badly her actions made Mandy feel. I don't know everyone involved, but Sam may not realize that her neglect actually hurt Mandy's feelings. Then, to make a big deal out of Taryn's issue just added salt to the wound. The worst thing you can do is take sides. Since Sam and Mandy have been friends for so long, Sam has probably been dealing with Mandy's problems for a long time and may be a little burned out. Especially if Mandy's been depressed all year. There's only so much you can take if you've been taking it for years! So, when Taryn, who usually doesn't have issues like Mandy's gets depressed, Sam actually has the energy to address her problem because she hasn't had to much. Does this all make sense? I think that your role should just be to get Sam to acknowledge that she kinda blew off Mandy's problems and get them to forgive and forget. You're a good friend for caring.
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