about

hello fellow advice seekers, my name is Johanna and I'm currently a student about to enter high school. My days are spent with my friends, family, music, and camera. I've been known for my advice and don't turn down any questions. Feedback makes me happy, so I can give everyone the answers they want.

in my point of view, i accel in these topics:
-friendships
-relationships
-school/work
-ideas/helpful tips

and who knows? maybe ill gain some knowledge by actually thinking of new situations.

it cant hurt to get my opinion, now can it? so ask away my friends.

sincerely, ask_anything

advice

Hi im 14 and a female, see there are these really mean group of girls at my school and they ised to be all my really good friends until 8th grade they started acting ;ike they were rea;;y cool and stopped talking to me. i asked them what was wrong and the act like everything is just fine. Then they went behind my back a nd told everybody some rumor about that wasnt true. My mom says there just jealous of me. Is there something wrong with me? What should I do?

oh, there are girls like these all over the world. ive witnessed so many cases of mean, absolutely horendous girls. i lost many of my friends in elementary school because of girls with no respect. people who are once your friend, can change dramatically in no time. girls like that are no fun to get involved with, and my best advice is to just steer clear from them and make some worthy friends. once you're enjoying life with people you are comfortable with, they'll regret ever letting you go. you dont need them, i promise. the only cool kids in school are the ones that are truly happy with themselves and the people that make them smile. that is pure cool. so dont worry too much about them, and eventually things will all find a way. they did for me, and im sure they will for you too

-ask_anything

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what are some good qualities you need to have in a friendship? for example ..loyalty. i need at least 3 of them. thanks i rate high for good answers

:D

healthy friendships have tons of good qualities

- respectful
- honest
- caring
- a good listener
- responsible
- fun-loving
- able to count on
- originality
- humor
- trustworthy

i could go on and on.. just think of one of your closest friends, and list everything that you admire about them in general terms.

-ask_anything

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hey, im having some problems with friends.. i already lost a group of friends and then i finally made more. i met 2 great people and we all used to hang out then they started leaving me out more and more.. and though they say were still best friends i still dont feel like we are. help please.

i used to have friend problems myself, and what i've learned is that no matter what people say, not all can be trusted. no one can promise to keep a great friendship with you forever. i only have one, steady friendship with someone that i know will be constant all through my life. losing a group of friends means you need to figure out why you lost them. im sure it wasnt your fault, but you should figure out what is it that made them fade away from you. it's good you've met more people, because the more variety of friends you have, the better. it's possible these two people left you out because you might have been getting too attached. i know a major friendship problem is that one person gets too attached to others, and causes some people to want separation. you should broaden your friendships, that way you dont always have to rely on two or three people to hang out with. making friends can be hard, but if people became your friends before, there must be something about you that is friendhship material! i hope things get better soon for you =] -ask_anything

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Hummm, Soo for the soccer team we have to buy gifts for people and it is supposed to be secret...Hints the name Secret Santa..The girl that I picked is really stuck up and I know absolutely nothing about her.. What should I get her.

best ideas i could come up with are gift certificates to somewhere she might go to and ask some of her friends what would be good to get her. =] -ask_anything

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My best friend is acting different. This is all about it. See I was held back then I did summer school and got cought up I went to 7th shes in 6th. She thinks I am changing but I dont see it. If any one is changing Its her SHe is acting so different. She really annoying but she is the only friend I have in the hood and my best friend. But even If I am changing why does she have to be so mean ya no. It one of those friends where like each day your like I not going back to her house but then the next day what do you do, You go back to her house. And its not like shes mean All the time its jsut some time she is the sweetest girl you can know if shes not mad or maybe its just PMS but still its annoying I just dont know how to handel it

well you're friend might be sad or scared you are going to move on without her now that you are in a different grade. everyone goes through mood swings, you just need to deal with hers. i have plently of friends with moody times, and it does make a friendship hard, but you have to live with it. i dont think your friend means to be mean to you, but she might be jealous! you never know. it's hard to tell you exactly what to do, because im not really sure what your friend is like. best thing- talk to her. sounds cheesey i know, but it works. she's your best friend, things will work out. =] -ask_anything

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what r sum cool games and stuff to play at sleep overs? mi friend is coming over soon n im clueless
*I RATE HIGH*

it depends what kind of friends you have- if they're silly like most of the girls i know, then usually you all will kind of think of something yourselves. i know towards the end of the night- when i go to sleepovers we play truth or dare and it's fun as long as you dont do anything stupid. but you can also do fun things like movies, call other people [preferably people you know] and pretend to be someone else and do that kind of stupid stuff. you all will find something that will make you laugh- dont worry. just try to stay out of trouble! =] -ask_anything

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14/f

I'm going on a cruise for Christmas. And I went on one a few years ago. The last one i went on I saw tons of hott guys but i was to afraid to say hi. So I spent the entire cruise with my family (which was ok). Well, this time i want to be able to meet people while I'm there. What are some ways to meet new people without being really weird about it? thanks!

just get all your courage together- and remember it's very unlikely you'll seem the guy again unless all goes to plan, so if you make a fool of yourself it wont matter later. but how to meet people is just to bring up casual conversation about where they live, how old they are, what they like to do. find someone you could find common interests : ex: art, swimmer , music etc. and just go for it- if the guy doesnt have an interest, you'll know. have fun, and enjoy the cruise, and remember: enjoy yourself more than worrying about the guys on the trip! =] -ask_anything

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i'm in middle school and we have the popular cheerleaders. Everyone tells me how thin and beautiful i am. And the popular girls aren't that pretty, but all the boys love them. I'm not a cheerleader but i think i'm just as good as those girls. why don't the boys notice me?

maybe the boys like the cheerleaders personalities? maybe your too shy? it really depends, because looks arent everything sorry to say! =] -ask_anything

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my friend name is Brittany she has a b.o. problem and ervery1 hates it. i dont kno wat to say ta her wit out hurtn' her feelns' but can somebody pleaze help me out thanks.

i rate very high.

signed confused friend.

it wont hurt her feelings because then she can solve her problem- finding out people were talking behind her back is going to hurt her sooo much more than you helping her out with her problem. as to how to ask her: just casually [in private] tell her, and im sure that bad odorr will be gone in a blink of an eye! =] -ask_anything

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Well, i have this friend and i mean she is really really nice when it is jsut us two, but when we are with our other good friends or when we are with boys, she always has to be the center of attention. She knows she has the best body, so she always says something about being on a diet, so people tell her that she is perfect, and she knows she is like gorgeous and so she always talks about how she looks bad so everyone can reassure her some more. Me and my other bestfriend have been talking about it constantly and we love being with her alone, but it is really getting on our nerves, especially because it makes us feel worse about ourselves. Please help!!!

this girl sounds like both of these types of people: a "weather friend" and someone is extremely self-conscious and/or attention seeking. ive had plenty of weather friends- basically it's someone who is your friend sometimes, and acts like a jerk the next. these types of people you can be friends with- but never can be anything closer because they most likely cant be trusted. you just have to ignore her annoying comments and hope that some day she'll confident enough to quit with the untrue statements. if you really cant stand her when she does this- either tell her, or just stay somewhat friend basis- good enough friends that you dont have to listen to her moan about how ugly she thinks she looks. [ when she obviously isnt ] it's definitly bad karma to have a friend that makes you feel bad- so tell her or just let her go because bad karma is not a happy life lol =] -ask_anything

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my friend's boy friend just broke up with her. This guy happens to be my X boy friend... (2 times might i add) She is torn, he has called me every night since and he's been flirting wiht me a lot, and always wants to see if i can do things with him. Things between me and him and I are getting to strong but my boyfriend isnt taking it all too well. My boy friend, well hes great hes a cute and spontanious guy, but sometimes i feel like there are better epople out there. And i know that my X and i have broken up 2 times beforee, and that i shouldnt trust him... but the thing is both times it last for so long, and the ending was always because of distance and being too young, after all im only 15... i started going out with him for the first time when i was 11... maybe im crazy, but i dont know.... If i brek up with my boyfriend he'll be so upset... if i go out with my x, my friend will hate me.... and most of all i will hate myself. I let myself down, I let the one thing that ive worked so hard to stay away from work its way back to me. I've made what i hate most a part of me... WHAT SHOULD I DO =(

well this guy seems to be jumping back and forth with you. and if your friend just had her heart broken from him AND you already have a boyfriend. id say wait this one out for a while. firstly because your friend needs you around without him until she can move on to better things. secondly, what is so different about going out with your ex than before? wont the distance and age still bother you? if you dont want to hurt your friend or boyfriend, FORGET ABOUT THIS GUY. he's just going to play you all over again. who wants that? i hope you dont. stick with what you've got now, or at least wait a while. if letting this guy back into your life makes you feel horrible- then dont let him! let him flirt all you want, it doesnt mean you have to feel bad about yourself or the decision you make. YOU need to do what feels GOOD for you. not what makes you feel bad. make your decision for the best interests in you. my advice- forget your ex. =] -ask_anything

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okay my friend and i are going to a dance this friday!! what can we do to get the boys to notice us??

well all you gotta do is ask them to dance, or dance near them- talk to them between songs, etc. if they're interested, you'll know! plus- if you know people, go in a group or a few people you know... maybe they can hook you up to? =] -ask_anything

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My friend keeps copying everything I do. Like getting contacts.. my sneakers.. classes. Stupid stuff like that. It just annoys me and I dont want her to get upset over it but it just gets on my nerves. How can I bring it up without hurting her or making it seem like I'm sick of her or something liek that ?

i think everyone gets upset when they have something original and their friend gets it... making you feel unoriginal. you need to tell her when you get something new to not get it right away (it may be hard, she may seem a little crushed) .. but she needs to be original herself. go with her shopping and find her some things to make her seem original... but sometimes you just need to tell her to let you have some space with your original items... i think your friend getting contacts is okay, because it's just an eye fixing tool- but things like sneakers you could confront her on. and remember!!- "imitation is the highest form of flattery" =] -ask_anything

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I was wondering if u can help...See my friends and I (like 7 of us) tryed out for JV soccer and Varsity soccer and only like 3 of us didn't get on Varsity and I was one of them. Its really hard to look at them practice and wear their uniforms to school knowing i am not apart of it and It makes me really mad and frusterated... I kno i will make it next year but i dont' want 2 wait.. Any advice on how to deal with my friends etc??

i know how you feel- ive had something like that happen too... first off if you need to talk about the situation without mentioning it to the friends who did make the team- talk to the other 2 friends that are in the same boat. its not fair the way they sometimes set up teams- but that should just make you work harder at your goal and be completely ready for anything next time. on how to deal with your friends- if they are close friends, im sure they must feel kind of awkward not having you on the team with them. if they arent close- you should definitly tell someone that is close to you about how you feel about it all. they can make you feel more at ease. sometimes teams are picked wrong, and if you are now on a team that isnt up to your standards- become the player that sticks out for abilities and they might decide to move you onto the JV/V soccer team... it depends on how your town organizes things with teams. but i know just the feeling of not making the team you really want to be on- its dissappointing, but you just have to move on. its going to bug you for a while- but soon you'll realize what you need to work on so they WILL pick you- even if that means asking the people why you were not picked. then practice whatever you need to until you think you're as good as you can get! good luck with everything, and dont forget there are others just like you feeling upset! =] -ask_anything

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i have a best friend and i met her this year at school. but when ever i go over her house i always feel uncomfortible around her family. it kinda feels like they dont want me to be there. but it might just be me. and sometimes she gets mad that i dont wanna hang out with her but i cant tell her the reason. what should i do?

if you dont feel comfortable around your best friend's family, have her over your house instead for a while. unless you did something really wrong or something her family doesnt agree with, they shouldnt have a reason to dislike you. some families dont show their emotions well, and you just have to ignore it sometimes. if this problem concerns you to a point where you question your friendship- talk to your friend. have her talk to her family if they are bothered, maybe she can figure it out for you! dont ditch your friendship just because you feel unwanted around her family! =] -ask_anything

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does anyone know any good "best friend" songs or like friend songs.. something along the lines of that.. if you do can you give me the singer and title of the song.. thanks

i cant remember this one song... but if it comes to me ill edit my answer and tell you...
here a few that could fall into a "best friend" category:
"100 years" by Five for Fighting
"Here's to the Night" by Eve 6

... i cant think of anymore at the moment! sorry! hope this helped! =] -ask_anything

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Ok theres this girl who I've been friends with for 12 years, and our moms even longer. I'm so sick of her because shes really mean to me one minute and nice the next. If I tell her about it she'll like scream at me and then i'll get in trouble with my mom. Also, she doesn't get along with anyone because she's really weird and stuff and she follows me around and its SO ANNOYING! PLEASE HELP!

well if you've been friends with her for 12 years, you cant just dump her now. if she just started having those mean one min. nice the next min. situations- she might be having mood swings- i have plenty of friends that have them. If you've tried to tell her and she acts so sorely, you shouldn't try to again. Tell your Mom your problem and maybe she can talk to your friend's mom [if they are so close, they shouldnt mind talking about it]. If you really don't want to be around this girl, you should try to be around some other friends for a while. Don't ignore her everyday and treat her like dirt- just take a break from her. Just don't hurt her feelings or talk trash about her- no one likes that, doesnt matter who you are. And if you still cant get some time away from her, tell your mom and hopefully she can bail you out sometimes or talk to your friend's mom. hope this helped a little- good luck! =] - ask_anything

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soo i have this girl friend n shes cool and all, but everytime we go to the mall, or were down the shore on the boardwalk or something, she always gets the guys. Shes pretty and all but some of my friends dont think shes the prettiest girl in the world half of them sey im prettier then her. It doesnt really bug me, but im more outgoing n i speak for myself n im always the one doing everything for her and talking to the hott guys for her cause she cant do it herself. I dont know what to do cause the guys see right through me and onto her even though i'm the one usually the guys go for when im not with her. I dont know if i should let it go or talk to her or what? But when im not with her i get the guys n all my other friends get mad at me? pleease help!

well usually when you talk for your friend to the boys, they see your friend as the one interested- not you. if you say things to the boys that make you seem interested, they will consider you [most likely]. if your friend that shy, it's extremely nice of you to help her with the guy situations. what you should do is tell your friend what you told in your question- how you're tired of her getting all the guys when you're always the one to talk for her. for your second problem with other friends, and the guys being all over you- you cant help it! i assume you dont want to do something to make you non-attractive ;)! you just might want to help some of your other friends with guys [if thats what they want]- but if they are mad at you, as in they think you are too boy involved, then maybe you should take a break from the guys for a while? i tried to get the all the advice aspects you needed for your question, hope it helped a little! good luck! =] - ask_anything

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ok well I think I'm OKAY pretty... I mean Ive been told i'm "beautiful" by some people... but so has everyone right? ok well my friend is also OKAY pretty too. But whenever we go out the guys usually end up more attracted to me. I have no idea why I mean we're both really nice and everything... and its not like I mean for anything to happen. And sometimes I dont even like the guy! it bugs me sometimes. But also sometimes the guy SHE likes likes me... I feel so bad I mean I dont even do anything! But she always gets frustrated (which i can understand) but theres nothing I can do about it! Ive talked to her... and she knows it but still she get mad! I dont know what to do

there was a question almost exactly like this coming from your friend's perspective earlier. so from your side my advice would be to help your friend with some of the guys by putting in a good word about her, getting her to be more in with all the guys you meet- NEVER leave her for a guy. thats the last thing youll ever want to do. you should tell her that you feel bad, and you do want to help her but your not always sure how to. come up with some ways together... just dont let this one issue damage your friendship- because guys dont always last forever. good luck=] -ask_anything

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This is for my friend there is this guy that is one of her good friends and he makes her cry by bringing up like bad memories and picking fights with her .. she's very emotional my friend .. and I always tell her that if he treats you like this he's not worth it and she understands but somehow she can't put him behind her .. like he calls and she forgives him she's wayy too nice and ends up getting stepped on but i don;t know if she realizes this and i dunno if i should tell her like i said she's emotional i dunno if she'll take it the wrong way .. thanx !

it's nice of you to be concerned and ask this for your friend. you sound like a great friend by the way you care. this guy sounds like a total jerk from what youve said. and your friend is very forgiving [ive been too forgiving at times as well] so you need to tell her to stop being stepped all over and give him the boot. if she doesnt listen to you, then at least youve tried. its her life and if she doesnt want to fix whats wrong- you cant do much other than comfort her. if you really want to get in the middle of things [not recommended] you could talk to this guy yourself and tell him how its making her so emotionally saddened. if you are really close to your friend, she'll be grateful in the end for caring about her feelings and her life. best of luck, hope my advice helps a little! =] -ask_anything

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