I've just been asked to be part of the bridal party for one of my best friends. While I feel so honoured by her request, I'm very hesitant as she has told me about her intention to ask someone else as well. This person and I do not get along.
This person used to be my friend and former roommate. Our friendship ended 6 months ago when she moved out. Having been friends for over a decade, we had moved in together despite the fact that I was warned by various other friends that it wasn't a good idea. From the day we moved in, the relationship started deteriorating and she started to behave quite badly.
Just a few examples of this included:
- Never washing her dishes or putting them away or putting the garbage out and becoming hostile when I asked her to do so.
- Getting extremely upset with me during the time that my grandfather was dying. I was very sad and withdrawn and she accused me of making her feel as though she had done something wrong.
- Being very angry at me when I told her I felt uncomfortable if she were to sublet her room for a month while she was travelling (I eventually convinced my sister to sublet from her).
- Starting a verbal fight with me and, when a friend came over later, throwing objects around the kitchen and slamming cupboards to the point that we needed to leave the apartment.
- Doing drugs in my room while I was away on vacation.
I'm not innocent in this situation. In a lot of these conflict situations, I would either leave or practice avoidance. However, when I did assert myself or try to communicate, she would become very loud and intimidating. I am usually the 'mother' in any given friend circle and, while she encouraged me to practice boundaries with other friends, she became angry when I wouldn't be flexible with her.
We had come to an understanding that she would move out and I gave her ample time to find a new apartment. After several months of her staying put, I gave her a firm date to leave.
I haven't spoke to her since and had no intention of doing so. I came to the realization that, while I had supported her through many different life situations (losing an immediate family member, a break up, a theft), she had never been there for me or tried to support me in times of need. In addition to this, I developed anxiety during our last few months of living together and I still experience panic when thinking about her.
While the bride was supportive of me during this time, she still remains friends with my previous roommate. We had decided that I shouldn't share my feelings about the previous roommate with her due to the fact that it was very uncomfortable to be stuck in the middle.
When I found out that my best friend was getting married, I was happy for her but felt guilty about the fact that my mind immediately went to the fact that I would have to see my previous roommate again.
To add to this, there has been a lot of heartbreak that occurred between my previous roommate and other mutual friends even prior to our co-habitation. Due to this, the bride decided, out of her own volition to do two sets of events (i.e. bachelorette party, engagement party). This was an unfortunate set of affairs but seemed necessary given the circumstances. At the time, the bride did not want a wedding party.
The bride has now decided to ask her sister, another friend, myself, my previous roommate and my previous roommate's best friend. While I love my best friend and I want to be there for her on her big day, my throat closes when I think about interacting with my previous roommate. But what would be worse is if I bowed out of being in the bridal party and saw my previous roommate involved in my best friend's special day. I feel terrible but I've been fantasizing about skipping out on the entire day.
I haven't said anything about this to the bride and she wants to have a conversation. I don't want to hurt her or make this more difficult than it already is. What should I do?
OMG.!!!! I am so sorry girl. I would be honest. I am a honest person and I would rather talk about something than to boil up and pysch yourself out of not going. You should def. have the conversation with the bride and just calmly tell her you feel uncomfortable around this girl and it is not just you, but it's other people the bride is friends with as well. You are friends with this bride and it is her day. So I think you should go to the party. Trust me it will be worst if you don't go because the other girl will think she won and think 'Oh she didn't come because of me' And she will probably brag that she was there for the bride and had fun while u wasn't and trust me the bride will rub that in your face in the future as well. Whenever you bring up your old roommate she will probably say well atleast she showed up for me. And it is not fun when things like that happen, trust me. So I say just go and have the conversation with the bride and just be honest. Let her know you are honored to be part of her bridal party and You will be going, but you will not associate yourself with this person at all. Don't let one sour patch affect your fun and happiness.
As for the throat closing up and the panic attacks honestly take deep breathes and relax. Get her out of her head. You should also try meditation as well it helps me when I am stressed and panicking. If you try that it will become easier to think about her and not have any panic attacks. But it takes one day at a time.
GoodLuck. And remember you got this.
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Ok so I've been best friends with this girl since I was 8 ( I'm now almost 14 ) here's a little bit about her she's adopted and her birth parents were abusive to her. Before she met me she was friends with this girl Who was super mean to me and this girl told her if she wanted to be friends with her she could not talk to me or be friends with me she told this girl that she was best friends with her and then when that girl wasn't around she told me I was her best friend but when this girl was around she just ignored me and when I asked her about it she said she was not friends with her anymore but to this day she still is friends with this girl ( this was happening when I was only ten and it still happens ) She also lies about random this and I think it's because she wants to make her life sound better for example she once told me that she was have this amazing birthday party but I found out from her mom that it was never happening another time she said she had a boyfriend and I found out that the was also not true and that she doesn't even talk to boys so basically she just lies about almost everything. I'm so confused about are friendship and I'm not sure what to do please help me!!
I am 22 years old and let me tell you I had to drop ALOT of friends because of lies. Now this can stem from her birth parents not showing her respect and care and love that every child should feel. She felt abandoned and like noone loved her. She probably lied to people when she showed up to school or ANYWHERE with bruises. So lying is the only thing she knows how to do. Now I say sit down and talk to her. Let her know that you are a true friend and really care about her. Let her know that she doesn't need to lie to you about anything that you love and care for her, her true self. Also let her know how you feel about the lying about the other girl and how she should come clean. If the other girl don't want her to talk to you that is when she needs to either be a friend and say then I won't talk to you or choose the other girl. Either way lying to have both is not an option anymore and never should have been after that girl said what she said. Talk to her let her know that you will always care about her because you are her friend. And that she can't pretend she isn't friends with you anymore around the other girl or you can't be her friend at all. I feel either be real and true to you to attract truthful loving people or keep lying and see where that gets you.... Not far.! But definitely sit her down and really have a heart to heart with her and see what happens. And go from there. But don't just write her off just yet. See if she will change and if not then you have to do what is good for your sanity.
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I want to meet up with an old friend of mine. We've not spoken or met up in just under a year-however she did say on Facebook on my birthday she misses me.
What's the best thing to arrange to meet up again? Coffee? Meal? I'm unsure and don't want to scare her away as I thought she'd moved on until now!
You should definitely meet up for lunch. See how she's been and just talk about some light things. EX- school, family, just her life and yours. Let the conversation move you. Then move on from there. Do lunch again or have a meal after and keep in touch. :)
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12 yr old girl~
This is a long story:my mom said that i was grounded for sleepovers for the rest of the school year.Well my two friends were having a sleepover at friend #1's house. i was told i was able to go over there to watch catching fire(the hunger games). so went over there and friend #1 said that this boy was over there and that they'd come get me when they are going to watch the movie at 7. so i waited.7:30 came around and no one had come down.so i went down there(she forgets a lot). well i went down there and she said that the boy's mom was out w/ her mom.and that no more kids were allowed in the house. i'm not sure if she's lieing but still,she really wanted me to come over and now she thinks that she is to cool to hang out with me. I don't know what to do and i really feel like a third wheel. PLEASE ANSWER!!!!!
My sister just turned 13 and trust me she has similar problems. There is always that friend that is going to have a crush/bf and is going to feel to good with themselves. Trust me it happens alot even when your older. Honestly you guys are so young and haven't experienced anything yet.! It sounds like maybe they were tryna be sneaky and make it seem like they were doing a sleepover and tryna have you guys "go over" so they can be left alone, but in actuality they probably did not want u there. It does sound a little sneaky, but it's also her first crush/bf. They are 12 and shouldn't be doing anything crazy anyways, but maybe talk to her about it. Let her know that if she wants to hang with her bf/crush or whoever he is to her don't involve u because things can go wrong and you can get in trouble for just being there and being involved.
My sister always has those types of friends and i tell her that it's their first bf and they are new to these things and probably don't know how to react to having guys around them and having a bf. Now don't misinterupt what im saying. Don't have her talking rude to you but let her have her "in love with my first bf" moment and just be her friend and let her know that your there for her if anything. But also let her know that you won't always be cast aside for a guy she likes 24/7.
It's okay hunn it happens to everyone at any age. People get a bf or gf and other people feel left out. I always do but i let my friends know and i reason with them and things work out well.! :)
Good Luck.!
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This is going to be quite long, I have known my friend for about 4years on and off, when we met we were really close and he would tell me a lot of private things... His 32 and I'm 20 now... We hadn't talked for over a year because he travelled to a different country, then he contacted me recently in june this year and we started talking again, during those few days I developed feelings for him which I had always had I was shy to tell him and However I told him how I felt about him and his reaction was cold he just said "ok fine you like me, then let's see if it works and if you can handle the age at that point I felt he was saying that just to please me not bcos there was any mutual feeling... I decided to distance myself from him I deleted his phone number, his blackberry pin etc bcos I can't stay friends with someone I'm in love with ,later that day he added back and told me how he felt about me too that was when he confessed that he had liked me since I was much younger (16)and I was off age and he couldn't date me at that time. but after a few days I became insecure I still had that feeling that he just said that to please me... I took him off my contacts again... He was mad at me, he told me never to call or text him and all, I sent several apology messages but to no avail, so I waited for a month before I apologised again, its August and I sent him a message, he told me I could call him whenever I wanted to but I couldn't bcos I didn't have his number anymore, there was no where I could get it and I had to ask him for it then he said I had tested his patience and that he had tried his best and I should do whatever I want to do... I don't know what he wants me to do, probably he doesn't want to be friends with me anymore probably he never even liked me and I feel like I am a bug then just yesterday he said when I am grown up and I start acting like an adult I should call him... I cried throughout the night and I told him that it was fine, maybe we shouldn't be friends and said bye!! I don't know what to do and I still love him very much!!
I'm sorry all that confusion happened. You should text him and ask can we talk . Call him and talk and say everything you are feeling. Because honestly yes it will hurt if someone don't love you back but it will hurt even more if you didn't say how you feel and you will always be guessing what the other person could of said and done. Tell him how you feel and see if he feels the same way. If he does pursue it if he don't then just let go. It's better to let go of something that's not right for you than to hold on to something that is wrong for you & you keep imagining that this is the perfect thing.
Goodluck :)
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I hav a friend and we hav been best friends for a long time. She just moved from a apartment to a really big house. She doesn't realize that she changed a lot since she moved. She acts like she's all that sometimes I want her back. I want to tell her with out hurting her feeling so I decided that I want to give her this quiz that might make her realize that she's acting different or mayb a quiz that will help me kno if she thinks she's different or something like that so can someone help me with some questions to ask her and should I txt it to her so I won't hav to hav a fight with her in person or should I tell her in person
( btw her mom is like kinda strick when someone's begin mean for example: once I was mad at her and she told her mom and I got in trouble.)
So my point is that I'm scared something like that will happen. Oh and btw we r only 11.
Well can someone plz help me I hav no idea what to do?????
Give it to her in person and you can ask these.
1. When is the last time we hung out all day?
2. When is the last time we talked on the phone or just text non-stop?
3.List the things we always used to do and 3 things we still do now.
4.How did you help me with the problems i used to have?
5.How do you help me now?
6.What are the things that are still the same about you?
7.What are the things that are the same about me?
8.What do we really know about eachother now?
These are a few questions you can ask her. Write them down and when you see her again give the paper to her. Tell her to take her time and answer them. See what happens
P.S. you can also write it down for yourself and ask answer them yourself and see if your answers match and if they don't talk to her about them.
Good luck :)
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ok so im 13 . and theres this guy i like in my school. sometimes we talk by text, and iv seen him 2 times at the park this wholes summer. most of the time i always have to text him and after a while he stops texting me, he says his phone has problems but i dont know :( its summer and school starts next week. we promised each other to give a hug when we see each other. but the thing, iv never really had a guy friend like this, all my other friends always get hugs by guys but im just,like nothing. so i dont know what to because its my first time, so how should i act with him how should i hug him and stuff ok thank you lots!
Just give him a hug. Once you do it the awkwardness will go away. When you see eachother think of him as a close friend you always hug and relax don't freeze up or anything. Think of him as a brother at first. Just talk to him keep texting him and being yourself around him. Trust him too. If he says his phone is off then you have to believe him not second guess what he's telling you. Become friends and you'll get used to his hugs and phone calls & text in no time
:)
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My sister and I always argue. I recently got engaged and she didnt seem to care, congratulated me two weeks later by text. She always seems to find excuses for her actions, never apologize for her actions, says hurtful things and really does not care about anyone but herself. I have approached her numerous times to try and fix the tension between her and I, tell her how I feel about things but never works, we will be ok for a couple of days then argue about something. She is always right and thats it, it never goes anywhere, even when shes wrong. I'm not sure at this point what to do but have given up and just fed up with her actions towards me.
There seems like there's some deep tensions there. Did something happened in your past that caused her to be angry at you so much? Don't give up on her she's your sister. Approach her again & find out what her problem is. Maybe something happened before she started acting like this towards you. She is your sister and as much as she is driving you away you have to show her that her anger and words towards you are not going to stop your love for her or even stop you from finding out what's wrong.
Trust me sisters are a pain i have one. There rude and obnoxious, but there our sisters.
Sometimes there the only family we got when we need someone there.
Talk to your sister tell her your not putting up with the crap she does to you and she has to change. She has to tell you whats wrong & what's going on so you can be there for her & help.
Goodluck. You can e-mail me if you need more help im always available. :)
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Ok so I have this friend and I feel like we both kind of "find an excuse" to touch each other. Like if we're sitting in the car then we'll fall asleep (even if we're not tired) just because we want to lean on the other person. Or reach over to grab something just to touch the other. Ya know little stuff like that. But I'll give you a list of things that have happened:
1. We lay on each other during movies and put our legs on each other
2. One time we were in my pool and she untied my bathing suit and hers and said she wouldn't give it back until I got out of the water and jumped in with her and also later took her bottoms off
3. We were in my pool again and kept wrestling under water and she kept wrapping her legs around me
4. (I have a big butt) and she asked if she could grab it and I let her
5. We are always wrestling and getting on top of each other
6. She wanted me to tell her something and twisted my arm back and was like right behind me and we stayed there for a while
7. We grabbed onto each other during a scary movie and kept holding each other even after the part was over
8. We were watching a movie and her legs were wrapped around mine and she asked what would you do of this was a guy, like that would be awkward and I was like yea!
9. She lured me into one of our guest rooms in the basement that is kind of scary and weird things happen down there. But all of a sudden she acted scared and grabbed onto me and we were laying on the bed and just holding each other really close and all you could hear was us breathing (and we were in the dark) and then finally we got up and she was still acting like she was scared and was grabbed onto me and her body was really close to mine and then I got to the door and turned on the lights
10. She's always acting horny around me like randomly humping poles and walls
11. She had a remote control and got on top of me and was acting like she was raping me (using the remote control as her... Penis)
So yea also answer (based on what I just gave you) if you think that she'll be up for a kiss like if she'll do it. And also how do I go about kissing her? Its all I think about but I really don't just want to ask her so what do you guys think I should do? How do I make moves on her to get close and how can I find a way to kiss her?
Honestly you should have her alone and kiss her in private for the first time. Apparently she really likes you and wants to take it further too. When your alone with her or even in the movies go see a romance movie and just reach over and kiss her. Somewhere romantic for the first time or even in your basement just the two of you will be awesome too. Don't be scared to do what your feeling. She likes you i can tell so just go in for it. & Don't think about it too long because you might get scared and back out of it.
:) Hope i helped
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So...I have a guy-friend who I've developed feelings for...(I'm putting this in the "friendship" category because he is taken, and I've made it clear to him that I have no intention of trying to break them up, I just think me liking him might be relevant in some way)
Anyways...after he asked me whether or not I liked him, he told me it was okay and that he understood and that we would still be friends...we talked, texted, hung out quite a bit...and then he just stopped. He vaguely told me he was upset about something, but nothing more...I've tried to break the ice a few times, but I have not been badgering him or making him feel like he is obligated to me or anything...I DID tell him he could talk to me about it if he wanted, but has said nothing to me at all ever since.
What the heck?! We were getting along so well. It just sort of...happened. One day we were hanging out, and then he just stopped all contact with me. I really miss him. =( I never put any "moves" on him unless we were jokingly flirting with each other...but I do that with a lot of my platonic guy friends...I honestly don't think there was anything I did wrong, but perhaps some of you might have experienced something similar? Please tell me what would cause this kind of behavior...
When guys like other girls when there dating they get scared and run away. That could be what he's doing. He's probably scared that you guys will get further into something & he don't want to hurt his GF. Yes nothing really "serious" happened with you guys but maybe he's thinking ahead. Like if you guys keep talking it'll get worst since you guys like each other. Give him some space and he'll start writing you again. He just confused & needs time to think. I'm sure he will hit you up though just be positive and hopeful
:)
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So I met this guy in omegle, before you think that there are horny creepy dudes there, there's actually some nice trolls, so there he was, he kinda pulled one on me, but as we talked, it was getting really serious, like on religion and racial differences. It felt like we knew each other before. We became friends in Facebook, it was nice, it's like having a best friend talk to you, it wasn't awkward. But then there's this weird feeling of talking to someone you barely even know but you get along with each other so well, like stranger danger, so what should I do?
You can talk to him, but don't get in too deep or serious. Let him just be a fb friend and that is all don't give out no phone numbers or anything. If he wants you to call him block your number so he won't have it. You have to be smart with things like this. There's nothing wrong with talking to people online it just have to be in a smart friendly way.
:)
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I hav this friend last year in 4th grade and she was one of my best friends we made a club with two other girls. The next year one of the girls from our club went to a new school and the other girl was in a different class. We were in the same class and there was a new girl that moved here from Michigan. She was homesick. She also rode the same bus as my friend and she became good friends. Then towards the middle of the year the new girl was comferterble and she was wild and hitting people and stuff like that. My friend started acting like her which was weird becuz she is quiet and clam. Then soon after my friend started hitting people like the new girl. I was so mad I didn't kno what to do. But that's not where it ends. Soon my friend got a boyfriend. Rite after the new girl had one. Then my friend got blonde highlights and everyone started hitting on her. After that I became the back up friend. I now summer I try to tlk to my friend on Facebook but she hasn't been on a lot and we ever she is on she doesnt answer me. I don kno if she's mad at me or Wat but I just want to b friends again. I hope someone can give me some advice on how to get my friend back. Obviously we are girls so I wuld like some girly advice.
This happened to me when i was Best of friends with this girl since Kindergarten and in 9th grade this girl torn us apart telling her lies about me and everything. My old best friend was gullible and believed it. I wanted her back so bad that i tried everything. I paid her money at times to get her back and it worked for about a week i was so happy we talked again but it wasn't the same i can still see the change in her. WE broke apart i couldn't and wouldn't deal with someone who treated me the way she did. CRAP.
Basically what im saying is that you have to sometimes fight the good fight and sometimes you won't win but that is okay. You will find other friends and you'll soon find a new crowd to hang with also. Sometimes people are in your life for a season and others for a reason. She happened to be a reason.
She showed you that people can change in a matter of seconds, but you have to move on from people like that. You tried talking to her apparently her other friends are better to talk to so you have to stop chasing her just to talk to her & meet new people. It'll hurt at first but there are millions of people in this world you'll find a new friend.
My saying is that God lets things happen for a reason. & There's always something & someone better out there too
Hope i helped :)
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I have a really close friend and we have been friends since kindergarten mayb longer. And she is really nice and all but sometimes she copies me like I get these boots and then she gets them ( btw copying is not Wat irritates me). She also lived in an apartment. But then she moved into this really big house and now she seems to act like she's all that. For example: she barley ever wants to come to my house now, shes always tlking about getting new clothes and she sometimes acts like she's to good for other people. And I just miss how she used to b. how do I tell her tht i don't like when she act like a rich chic without breaking into a fight. And I kno this probably seems stupid but if you knew her you probably wuld understand. Thx 😃
I know you don't want to do a fight with her, but if that is what you have to do to get through to her then that's what you have to do. People are so scared of losing friendships that they become scared of not speaking up for what they know they should speak up about. Trust me if your best friend is the bestest friend you ever had & you want that closeness back with her then tell her what you just wrote on here. Tell her how you feel maybe no one told her about herself and it's always good to hear it from a friend. You just have to be the one to tell her like it is & be honest no matter what the consequences are. Sometimes a good argument is good too. I do it at times. It shows her that you really care and your worried about her. She'll be mad at first but then she will realize what your saying is the truth. & She will start to talk to you and change back to normal. You just have to be willing to do what ever it takes to get your best-friend back.
Hope this helped :)
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My best friend is copying me.
Ugh it's just everything I do, everything I say.
Whenever I start obsessing over something, she obsesses over it to.
She crushes on my crushes-fine-but then she says really stupid and irritating things like "We SHARE Johnny."
Like, WHAT!?
She knows NOTHING about Harry Potter, but she claims she is a witch-like me-and goes on about it. And the worst thing is this: My OTHER friend who HATES Harry Potter asks her "do you like Harry Potter"?" and I heard her reply is "no"
She does that ALL the time. Let's call her F and my other friend A. A hates the shops that I shop in, F claims to love them (after I told her that i shop in them) and then A (who is quite popular) says she DOESN'T like them and F agrees. Then F tells me how she thinks that A has bad taste. I asked her about this once and she said she just doesn't want to get in a fight.
I'm not an emo but people say I am and F thinks I am (I don't say anything about it) so F goes on about how emo she is and everything, when she's clearly not.
This time, it's my Pirates of the Caribbean obsession. I know how to play the theme tune on the piano, I have a Captain Jack hat, etc. I am a huge POTC fan. And now she's saying that she is as well.
She hasn't even watched all of them. She just emailed me, like right now, "Am watching potc 1. Biggest fan ever."
NO. NO. NO. NO. NO.
And also, I started reading the LotR books, everyone called me a nerd including her, now she is reading them too, but tells me not to tell anyone, but also tells me she's a bigger fan than I am because she "wants to marry Legolas"
She really gets on my nerves.
Another annoying thing she does is yells out everything that I say to her.
You know when you say something incredibly stupid and embarrassing without thinking? That happens all the time to me. She just tells everyone unless I grab her by the arm and drag her out of the room, begging her to shut up about it. THEN she shuts up.
Despite all this...she's a good friend. She sticks up for me and everything.
But I just need some advice...how shall I deal with her annoyingness?
You should tell her you guys need to talk and sit her down and explain to her what she is doing is annoying. She needs to stop being your twin and she needs to be your best friend who needs to do what she loves not what you love. You also need to ask her how many close friends she had before you. I say that because usually when people copy things there best friend do is mainly because they never had a best friend before or someone so close like with what you guys have and she's afraid of losing that.Like you said she don't want to start arguments. That could be why she agrees and does everything you say. She's afraid of losing you. She probably never had someone close like you and she feels that if you guys argue that she will lose this closeness she has with you. You have to sit her down and tell her to follow what she believes in not what you believe in and reassure her. That even though you guys have arguments you will continue to be her best friend, but she has to stop doing everything that your doing or she's going to start losing you slowly with her annoyingness.
hope i helped out your situation :)
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