about

hiya I'm shelly, I'm 20 and from England. I have the best boyfriend in the world and he means so much to me. I love to help people and I've just started using Advicenators again. I hope i can help you all with your problems feel free to email me x


advice

i am a father of a 3 year old son .
my sonlives in london and imnot allowed any contact with him, unless it is at a contact centre for 2 hours only .
can you help me

Ive found some information on this website.
http://www.separateddads.co.uk/HowVisitationRightsWorkForFathers.html


I dont know much about it but can you agree to see him in a contact centre for 2 hours and then extend it to longer or spend a day with him? Either ask a solicitor or your sons mother if you could see him more often, go to the house or if he came to yours, just tell her that 2 hours is something but you would really like to see him for longer. It isnt fair to be honest that you can only see him for 2 hours. I am all for fathers for justice because he is your child just as much as he is hers.
I hope this helps x

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ok well me and my boyfriend are both 14 and we had sex (wich is really bad) but now im pregnant and havent told my parents how do i tell them

Just sit them down either you alone or with your boyfriend and tell them that you are pregnant which wasnt intentional. Also talk to his parents too and tell them.
I know this will seem extremely scary but there options. Hopefully your parents will be supportive and help you through this.
x

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15/f & my friend greg** is 15/m .

My friends dad beats him. And according to court his dad is allowed to give him "spankings" & there's no proof that he beats him. This may be hard to follow.

Gregs mom would take his father to court, so that he would never have to see his dad again. But Greg has been to rehab before & his father could use that against them in court.

I'm so scared my friend is gonna get seriously hurt. I'm talking to him right now on face book & he's telling me how his dad left him on the stairs bleeding and he couldn't move what so ever.

What if his dad takes it too far? I don't even know what to do. My mom would take Greg into our home in a heart beat, but him & his mom would get arrested for him running away.


WHAT DO I DO ? :'(

I agree that your friend or his mum should phone the police. His father cant get away with abusing him and that is what it is, child abuse. In the Uk his father would be arrested for doing this to a child but Im not sure how they handle these kind of situations in the US. If it carries on let Greg move in and if the police do get involved say that he was being abused and he was scared for his safety. However I would get the police involved first and greg could ask if it is possible to stay at your house with the permission of his mother and yours. Im sure they would not oppose to this.
I hope things get sorted for your friends sake and I understand that you are worried about him
xox

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So there's some teens and their Dad living next door. My neighbour's yard si growing into a jungle, which is fine, but they've got a hedgegorwing right along the fence diving us (which I guess the teens thinks that it makes they're partying soundproof but it's not)and so they don't do anything and just let it grow so it's growing through the fence into OUR side and the ugly flowers keep falling onto our beautfiful freshly cut grass (which is one of the things my Dad puts a lot of his time and effort into maintaining his garden).

Franky, the dad must not own a lawn mower because
none of us has ever heard or seen him mowing the lawn.

Do you think that it's our problem (our side, we clean) or theirs? And what should we do? I don't think that if I tell them they'll be like "Oh sorry, we'll fix it then." The last time I told the teens (same age as me!) to turn down their music, they egged our house!

I think it is their problem and I would be super pissed too. A tree started growing into our garden from our neighbours garden and my dad just started cutting it back so that it wasnt in our garden anymore.
If you dont want to do that just be polite, go to the house and talk to the dad just say that you dont want to be a nuisance but could they possibly trim or cut back the hedge as it is growing into your garden.
xx

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17/f

i really want my nose pierced, lip pierced, and a tattoo. however i know that my mom will never ever let me get a tattoo and even when i turn 18 she told me if i ever showed up with a tattoo she'd kick me out of the house and be really really really mad. & i know i don't want to get on her bad side. i highly doubt she'd ever let me get my lip pierced, thats also pretty close to never. but if i got it when i was like 18 or whatever, i don't think she'd kick me out. however, when i asked her if i could get my nose pierced their was a short pause before she said no. & it seemed like she would kind of consider letting me get it. i really really want my nose pierced. what can i say or do to make her let me get it? any personal experiences on how you got something like that from your parents? thanks!

Hiii, I got my lip pierced when I was 17. I pestered my mum soooo much and everytime she said no and they looked awful on girls. I got it done one time after college and then rang her afterwards, I just kinda said "Ive had my lip pierced" she said "you better not have done" but when I got home the stud was sooo tiny that she said she could hardly notice and it finally grew on her. She hated when I changed to a ring so now I just wear the stud and she likes it. If you think your mum would maybe be like that and it could grow on her then id get it done.

Also remind your mum that the nose and lip rings can be removed whenever you dont want it.
Id think more about the tattoo though and get it when your older, because some people have tattoos when their young and end up regretting it because its what they thought they wanted as a tattoo at the time. Just think carefully

Hope this helped
xxx

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my mom broke up with my dad when i was 2 she found another guy and has been married to him a long time and he is an ass how do i get my mom to break up with him?she doesnt love him anymore anyway

I think you should sit down with your mum and talk with her about how you feel and see how she feels. You should find out why she is still with him if she doesnt love him anymore, there might be more to it than you know.
I hope this helps.x

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So I have huge problem. I'm almost 17 years old and I have a baby sister who is two and she's spoiled rotten. the problem is I can't do anything without her screwing it up. for example, today I had bought a present for one of the seniors on my softball team. we're supposed to turn them in tomorrow at senior night, so I wrapped the present and put it away, thinking that my sister never find it where I hid it. A half hour later my mom comes in and hands me the remains of what's left. Now I have nothing to give her and my baby sister is afraid to come near me because I yelled at her. and this kind of thing happens everyday, I come back and find my backpack completely empty and everything thrown out onto the floor and hallway. I don't know what to do.I get so mad when this happens, but todays the first time I've really lost it. I feel bad but I feel helpless. my house is tiny and there's only a couple of place to put things like presents or my backpack, and they're not very accessible. what should I do?

Talk to your parents and ask them to keep her away from all of your things.
Put all of your things in your room, in your wardrobe or on top of it so that she cant reach.
Your sister is only two so she doesnt know right and wrong yet, you just have to be patient and when she does something wrong then tell her (in a way that she understands).
I know its frustrating but instead of yelling just talk to her or your parents.
When things get on top of you then go and see a friend or just go outside or in your bedroom away from her.
Hope this helps

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me and my stepdad fight all the time, my mom always takes his side even though he is unreasonable. he tells my mother how to parent me and raise me even though i am 16 years old. it makes me so mad how he patronizes me and treats me like im 5, my mom pretends not to notice. i hate it..... ive tried talking to her all she does is tells me he loves me and that i should listen to him.
any advice?
thanks



Instead of talking to your mum about it talk to him, Maybe he doesnt realise he is doing it and if you talk to him he might start treating you more like an adult.
Maybe he treats you like a child because he wants you to stay young for as long as possible. No father likes to think of their little girl growing up into a young woman.

I cant really think of anything else to suggest.

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Ok so for the past pear or so my mom has been very negative towards me... She is always putting me down and telling me I cant do things. I can even ask her a simple question without her turning it into somthing bad and yelling at me for it. I used to be able to talk to her and now Im afraid to say anything. I tried talking to her about it but she turns it all around and makes me feel guilty for telling her how I feel... Let me tell you that I have had depression since I was 12 and have gone through some very tramatic things that kinda makes fear anything sexual which my mom doesnt seem to care because her and her boyfriend are worse than a couple of hormornal teenagers and they are loud... It gets tot he point were I start crying and have to turn music up really loud.... She just yells of course If I ask her to not dot hat stuff when im around.... Im honestly lost here and it doesnt help that I have this depression hanging over me! I dont know what to do... and im sorry this is so long hahah I just keep alot in

Maybe you should write her a note, I know its not exactly a brilliant way to comunicate and get across how you feel but if you write it all down maybe you will feel better for it. Just say to her "I feel like I can't talk to you so ive written everything I want to say down" Because she usually changes everything round to blame you before you actually get to talk about it, if she reads it all she might start to realise that she doesnt listen listen to you properly.
If you dont want to write her a note, you could talk to her boyfriend about it (that is if you get along with him and feel like you can talk to him)
Another option could be to stay with a friend or a family member for a few days to give you and your mum abit of space.
I hope this helped and I hope things get better soon
x

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My bro is in iraq and its hard to deal with cause one of his friends was killed and the other one shot last week. how should i deal with it?

My cousin is in Iraq jsut try to think posative and concentrate on him coming home. talk to your parents about it. They probably feel the same way as you do.

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im depressed. i have ALL the signs of teen depression [ i looked them up ]

i dont feel myself lately. i dont like me. i cant sleep. i cry for no reason. im really mean to people around me. this year my grades went from A's and B's...to all F's.

ugh...any ideas on how to tell my mom? i want to tell her i need to see a theripist but im scared of how to bring it up and stuff..

if you have a school couciller talk to them they can really help in these situations. Just tell your Mum that you need to talk to her. Sit down and chat to her she is going to be there for you no matter what. Tell her that you want to see a therapist she can get in touch with one straight away.

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well i need some advice because i've been wearin a thong for about a year now and i've kept it a secret from mi mom but yesterday she found 1 ov them and she didnt really care and wen she asked if it waz mine i said it was my friends. and my problem is i really don't wanna tell her tha truth... :( ( sould i stop wearin them??) i don't know wat 2 do if she brings up tha subject again? thanx ur advice would mean a lot to me....

i think you should tell her that it was yours. she cant stop you from wearing them, if you feel comfortable in them then wear them.

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my mom doesn't let me have a life. i only saw my boyfriend in the morning for like 4 minutes in school. now that its summer, i really want to do something with him. how could i make my mom.......easier? i dunno. help.

Just tell her that your getting older and she needs to let you have your own life!

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i have begged and begged but mom will not let me get my tongue peirced! she says im too young to make that kind of choice.im 13! one of my family members got it done when she was 11 and my mom approves of it! i really want this done but i dont know were to go that will let u with out your parents permission and one of my friends said to do it my self which i thought about but then another friend said that if you hit the wrong spot it can kill but still this is a choice.what should i do?

tell her that it isnt fair that she aproves of an 11 year old aving it done and not a 13 year old. DONT DO IT YOURSELF the needle has to be sterolised. beg her more to have it done she may give in soon lol. ask her how old she says you have to be for her to allow you to get it done

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i lost a parent a year ago. my other parent is getting married in the summer. how do i show this fiance that i still love my parent, but i'll try to have a relationship with the fiance.

thanks

Just be nice to them/ try and talk to them about it that you will try but they cant replace your other parent. hope i've helped a little.
luv shelly

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13/f
I don't get along with my dad. He has been gone all my life until last year. We totally clash. He's not happy about me having a relationship with a boy. My boyfriend, Warren, is scared to be around my dad. I invited him to my church but he doesn't want to go because my dad will be there. How can I convince Warren to be around my dad if I can't even stand my dad? Please help!
Thanks,
Macie

Ok well i sugest you bring warren to your houseW whether your dad likes him or not. he has just suddenly come back into your life but he cannot just start telling and giving you orders. If you want your boyfriend to come to the house then bring him round! Tell your dad that you dont agree with him about Warren and no matter what you are not gonna stop seeing him. Once you've told your dad this then he should get the picture that you like Warren alot and nothing he says is going to change that! but dont shout at him so much that you get into trouble lol
hope i help
luv shelly

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my bro is so annoyin he trys to act gd in front of his mates by calling me names. he read my diary in front of his mates. wot can i do

did u tell your mum? if not then tell her or tell him u r sick of him going thru your things when his mates r around.

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hello, i am 13 years old, female, my name is Kayla I feel like I cause trouble for every one that I know. I don't like it. And I don't mean to. But I guess I do and i'm sitting here crying because I do and i'm tired of it! Can you help me?

Hi im Shelly and im 14. i don't really know how to help but i will try my best. Have you spoken to any of your friends about it? They might be able to help you. Have you told anyone about it? If you haven't then do it will help and you won't have it locked up inside like a big secret. Be open with your friends and tell them how you are feeling and see what they think about the whole thing you never know they might feel the same way sometimes i know i do but i try and get on with life and tell myself that i have a great friends and family and that i hould be happy otherwise i will be stressed and worried my whole life. i hope i have helped in some way

Luv Shelly

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