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Im absolutly miserable because of my mom
Ok so for the past pear or so my mom has been very negative towards me... She is always putting me down and telling me I cant do things. I can even ask her a simple question without her turning it into somthing bad and yelling at me for it. I used to be able to talk to her and now Im afraid to say anything. I tried talking to her about it but she turns it all around and makes me feel guilty for telling her how I feel... Let me tell you that I have had depression since I was 12 and have gone through some very tramatic things that kinda makes fear anything sexual which my mom doesnt seem to care because her and her boyfriend are worse than a couple of hormornal teenagers and they are loud... It gets tot he point were I start crying and have to turn music up really loud.... She just yells of course If I ask her to not dot hat stuff when im around.... Im honestly lost here and it doesnt help that I have this depression hanging over me! I dont know what to do... and im sorry this is so long hahah I just keep alot in
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Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
It sounds like you feel you have to compete for your mother’s attention with her boyfriend. It also sounds that you have made a number of attempts to share your feelings with her but things haven’t worked out for you. The best advice I can give to you is to work with a counselor to address your thoughts and feelings on this sensitive issue, as well as the depression you experience. Perhaps you could focus on communicating issues that are sensitive to you. A possibility of what could be going on between you and your mother is that when you attempt to talk to her about your feelings, she perceives you as being hostile and attacking, and from her point of view she responds in kind. Another option would be to calmly suggest to your mother about your desire for you both, (and maybe her boyfriend) to get into some family counseling. Either way I am sure you and your mother love each and this is situation that can be resolved.
Good luck
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When did this start? Was after something your mum went through? Nothing of this sort starts without a reason, you just need to find out and see how you can help.
Now i know that you're going through a tough time and by the sound of it, so is your mum even though you may not think so. She's eveidently (well, to me she is) going through something difficult and she can't find a way to let it out and what people do is to try and find a scapegoat and blame that person even though they didn't have anything to do with it. Now i don't know what it is, but it could be the cause of this.
You've got nothing to be guilty about, she's the one whom has got the guilt which she's trying to get rid of but can't. Talk to the boyfriend if you get on with him because he's the one seeing your mum and if you can't get her to listen to you, then maybe she will listen to him. Plus, you can tell him what you're going through and see whether he'll help you.
As for the depression, why don't you go out with your friends when they invite you out? Go and have fun with them and don't let any worry cross your mind. Another way to realx is to try meditation. Now you can do this if you want to, i find that it helps me to relax.
Sit in a chair which supports your back and sit up straight. Place your feet six inches apart and place your hands on your lap. Take several deep breaths and acknowledge how you feel, don't dimiss it, just accept that it's there. Now close your eyes and whilst you breath, say a quite mantra under your breath of your own choice (such as for example: as you breath in say 'Mara...' and as you breath out '...natha' These have to be deep, slow breaths) focus upon the mantra to focus your brain to think of nothing. Then focus on something (like the ticking of a clock) and just relax your body muscles mentally (face muscels, shoulders, arms, legs, chest, neck, back etc.) If you hear a sound, just let it pass by, don't focus upon it and don't try to block it out, just focus upon the clock. Then you can come out of it when ever you want.
REMEMBER: Nothing is your fault, you've got nothing to fear. If it gets out of control, see if you can stay with some friends or close relatives.
I hope this helped and good luck with the future,
triquetra
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OMG same this has happened to me. Why don't you move in with your dad your allowed to do that just talk to your dad about it and i'm sure you can. If not move in with another family member. If you don't want to leave your mom you and your mom could always get counceling together.
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That sounds really hard on you :(
What you should do is email her work address, or call her while she's at work and talk to her then, then she can't directly start shouting at you.
Tell her how you feel about this, and the way that you can't talk to her at all anymore. Maybe she'll open her eyes and realize that something has gone wrong.
If things don't improve, talk to any aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, well, any relatives, and ask if you could live with them.
Ask if you need any more help, and good luck :)
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Maybe you should write her a note, I know its not exactly a brilliant way to comunicate and get across how you feel but if you write it all down maybe you will feel better for it. Just say to her "I feel like I can't talk to you so ive written everything I want to say down" Because she usually changes everything round to blame you before you actually get to talk about it, if she reads it all she might start to realise that she doesnt listen listen to you properly.
If you dont want to write her a note, you could talk to her boyfriend about it (that is if you get along with him and feel like you can talk to him)
Another option could be to stay with a friend or a family member for a few days to give you and your mum abit of space.
I hope this helped and I hope things get better soon
x
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