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dearheart790Member Since:
December 27, 2004Answers:
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My name is Fawn and I have been married for 2 1/2 years. I am a Christian, and like to think that I am a good listener. I hope to go back to college this year and eventually earn a my masters degree in psychology. It has been a dream of mine for many years now to be in an occupation that I can help people and receive the peace that will come with knowing that I am doing something important with my life. My husband and I lived in Virginia for a year and a half and we are looking forward to getting back there after I finish my education. I love dogs, music, books, travel and photography. Most of my time is spent with my church family, my immediate family and my wonderful husband. Be nice and I will be nice. Be rude and I will be rude. Ask my opinion and that is what you will get. I am open minded and honest and I give and expect respect.
I am check my inbox daily so send me a question and I promise (excluding personal illness or family emergency) that I will respond quickly. Take care and I hope to hear from you soon!
advice
My father passed away on Feb 26...I had a dramsbout him afew days back and in my dream my husband was in it he camt to visit me and stayed.We have been married 18 yrs and have been separated for 3 yrs..I wanna know why he was in my dream when it was bout my father
My uncle passed away a little over a year ago and I still have dreams about him. My take on it is that the dreams are God's way of comforting us when we lose someone that we love. It is different for everyone - some people feel arms encircling them when they are looking at their lost loved one's picture, some people feel as though their loved one is watching over them during a bad part of their life. It is all the same thing in my opinion, God sending down comfort to us in a form that we can understand. He is reminding us that life never really ends, it just goes on to another place to continue its existance.
If you do not believe in God you will not agree with my answer so I will tell you what some psychologists think that it is. The mind plays tricks on us all of the time, showing us memories that we cannot remember or do not want to remember in our waking hours, at night. It is also a defense mechanism, a protection so to speak for the mind, to prevent the stress level from becoming too great for our minds to bear. Our minds are very much like a plug-in outlet in your wall....if you put too much stuff in it at one time it will short circuit and stop working all together. The mind, when too much stress and anxiety is placed on it, will shut down so to speak, creating other forms of reality for itself to exist in....a reality that is much more tranquil than the one that is really there. When we are faced with something that we are really unprepared to deal with (the human mind cannot really comprehend death nor the ending of a long term relationship such as the one that you were in because to the mind it is another kind of death) our minds allow us to dream about a happier time or allows us to create a happier time when the people that we love are with us instead of seperated from us, by death or by choice.
Since I do not know the circumstances of your seperation I can only guess about what happened, if it was an amicable seperation or one that was created by just one party. However, I think that you miss what you had with him on some levels that you might not recognize. That would make your subconcious mind show him to you in a way that was consistant with your former relationship, despite the current lack of it. The present means little to the history in your mind. You know that he is not there, you know the reasons that he is not there and you know about the chances of a reconciliation between you two, but that does not change the history of the relationship that you have stored in your mind. In other words, what has happened has not changed your memories of the way that it used to be.
Maybe you still love your husband. Perhaps you are angry with him. Perhaps he is angry with you and that anger moves itself around in your life. All of these things could cause you to dream about him. It could also be just a strange occurance though without any meaning whatsoever. Only you know what the circumstances are in that area, as I said earlier I can only guess. Having said that, I would not put much thought into it if there was no cause that you can think of for it. About once a month I dream that I am back in highschool having to go through all of my old classes with a lot of people that I never meshed well with. It happens even when I do not see anyone that I attended school with or even when I am not thinking about or talking about my old school days. It is in my memory bank and my mind just decides to create a dream about it.
If I were you I would take the dreams about your dad as comfort and be glad that he is still present in your thoughts. As far as dreaming about your husband, ask yourself if there is any feeling there, in any form that is causing you to think of him. If there is no reason for it, ignore it. If there is, deal with those issues.
I hope that I answered your question. Please contact me again if I have been unclear about something or if I can help you in any way. I hope that everything works out for you. Best Wishes!
hi its been 2 months since my dad left for monterrey to learn french an he will be gone six months. Anyway im stuck at home with my sisters and my mom who are driving me crazy and it seems like the only way i can get away is by smoking and ive got asthma and one kidney. i just need advice on soning out because if i keep up the way ive been smoking ill be dead before im thirty. Any good advice would be nice and i will rate high.
One of the most absorbing activities that I can think of is photography. If I want to get away from the junk that is going on around me I grab a camera, drive or walk to the nearest stretch of woods and shoot for a few hours. You can photograph anything that interests you ie: graveyards, creeks, people, buildings, clouds, trees, animals, cars, water, etc. It will give you something productive and distracting to do that will take you out of your house and off by yourself. I know that if left alone, I can spend all day outside taking shots of the everything that I see. To quit smoking, there are a few things that have worked for my family members. First thing is invest in a lot of sugarless gum. Everytime the urge to light up hits you, pop in a stick of gum. Second thing is a pen. Every time you get the urge to smoke, chew on the pen top. Most smokers smoke because they are used to holding something in their hands or putting something up to their lips. Try these two suggestions and see if they help. If not, you might think of asking your doctor to recommend something to help you quit (like the nicotine based gum, the patch or actual medicine).
The best thing that you can do is stay active. Read, start watching a television show faithfully, chat online, spend time in museums and art galleries, hang out with your friends, go on drives/walks alone, get a pet, something to keep your mind active. Best Wishes!
okay to get straight to it i have a dad who has gotten our family to sit together and tell us that he wants to leave our family. He is always fighting with my mom and tell her what to do he bosses her around and she does what ever he says.. and he has just walked out on us before for no reason but then calls us and tell us he is coming home and even tho he tries to be nice sometimes and i dont no how to for give him for doing this to our family... PLEASE HELP ME
As trite as this may sound, forgiveness does take time. Your dad will have to prove himself again not only to you but to your entire family. Your parents may have serious problems and yes sometimes it is best if the parents do split up but that doesnt make it any easier on the children. Either way it is still a horrible situation for the children. I will not try to tell you that I know how you feel because I am not you in this situation and I have no idea about how this is affecting you. But, I do know that family can hurt you in ways that no one else can. I would recommend sitting down with your dad and talking to him, openly and honestly about how you feel and what his leaving put the family through. Tell him so that he can see through your eyes how it affected the entire family. Sometimes parents forget about their childrens needs when they arent getting along.....anger can blind people. There is still a chance that if you talk to him he can change this situation for the better, be nicer to your mom and actually begin to work through their problems as well as putting the petty ones aside. After you talk to him though, the ball is in his court. He must and will make his own decision about staying or leaving. If he leaves dear, it shouldnt change how he feels about you or your siblings (if you have any). Parents really can love you and be a part of your life even if they are apart. After you listen to his side of things, even if he leaves again, try to forgive him by remembering the good times and by your acceptance of what he feels that he must do. Unforgiveness is one of the worst feelings that you can ever endure.....it eats at you and eventually consumes your every waking thought. Love yourself by letting your anger at him go. In your mind you might not think that he deserves your forgiveness but you deserve the freedom that you will receive by giving it. I know that things will be tough for you for a while no matter what happens but stay strong. Remember, you can always talk to a school counselor (if you are in school), a close friend or me (my yahoo ID is on my column) anytime that you need to about your feelings. Dont keep them bottled up inside. Keep your head up. Contact me anytime. Best Wishes!
Help Im in a longwood school district where 57% ofthe students are white 38% are black and the rest are others. I do not mind this at all but my mother is very judgemental, preduduce and rasict. I happen to be white and so is she and at this point i doubt she trusts me at all and i dont kno why she always views my instant messages and always seems to think im doing something wrong..often gets iffy when shes around black people and is straight up disrespectful to me and others around her about this particular topic....Ive tried to tell her how horrible that is but she DOES NOT listen....WHAT DO I DO?!??!?
PS she is 40 and i am 13 my father is 46 my sister is 16 and i think its because black people tried to kick her ass in her school but i can sorta understand why now alothough my dad has no problem nor my sister
Racism angers me greatly. There simply is no excuse for it. However, racism is ignorance and the only way to change ignorance is to educate. In a situation like you have, with the racist person being your mother, the education that you can offer her is the way that you conduct your life. Show her that you can love and trust people of all nationalities/cultures/colors through your interactions with others. Hate is something that is learned and it takes a while to "unlearn" it. Be the example of just behavior to her and perhaps, through the love of your example she will see the error of her ways. Best Wishes!