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Do you need big brother advice, but don't need that non-stop punching that comes from a real big brother? Well, that's me.
Gender: Male
Location: Abilene, TX
Occupation: advisor
Age: 29
Member Since: January 28, 2005
Answers: 33
Last Update: August 17, 2005
Visitors: 3280

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ok last night my bestfriend made me feel like shit. she wwas talking to me about my boyfriend and how she doesnt like him and who last time she went to the mall by him that I ditched her for him which isnt true at all she ditched me nobody told her to leave and me and my boyfriend didnt do anything she left on her own and now she said she wont take me to the mall over there to meet up with him because she doesntlike him (because he black) and because of what happened last time/ i dont know what to do. she is the only person that my momm trust to let me go to the mall with (makin sure an adult is wit us) my mom wont let em go with any of my other friends because she doesnt trust them but she also wont give them a chance to get to know them.. i love my boyfirned sooo much and the thought of not being able to ssee him just keeps hurting me more and more when i think about it.. can someone please help me out on what i should do?? and i dont know about letting him come over to meet my parents because my parents hate the idea that i like black guys... (link)
It sounds to me like your best friend is a little jealous of your bf; not that she loves you or anything like that but that you spend sooo much time with him. I think your best friend misses you. Heck. She may even be selfish haha "All your free time is MINE!"

Abilene, TX

Would it be safe to say im in love if...

he's always on my mind

i danced with him and every time i think about it my heart literally skips a beat

i cry when i think about him leaving me for a different school next year

i think you get the picture....
Wheb your heart skips a beat like that, either you've got some serious heart problems, or you're in love. I'm going with the second answer.

Bad posture runs in my family. My mom's shoulder is one higher than the other, and she constantly slouches. Ive noticed over the past year, i have been becoming the same way. I cant even stand up or sit up straight because it hurts. My shoulders are slouched, and ive already gone to the doctor to get it checked out. They said i dont have scoliosis (spelled it wrong), but how am i supposed to improve my posture if it hurts? (link)
This is common, everyday work for a Chiropractor. They specialize in reducing & relieving back pain. If you're wanting to get your problems fixed, don't go to your normal doctor. Go see a bone & joint specialist.

today my friend was over at his grandmothers house which is only 5 houses down and after school we went for a walk with my dog. well he grabed my hand and pulled me or should i say dragged me and my dog into the woods. he slung me down on the ground he pulled his dick out and wus rubbing all up on me with it. he wanted me to give him a blow job but i didn't want to thats just nasty. so he was like forcing me too then i pushed him against a tree then he looked like he was about to slap the crap out of me i was so scared. i don't know what i should do i want to tell my mom but then she will never let me near him again but i don't want to be friends with him anymore and if i tell her shell like be all overpertected and she already is. so what do i do i'm so scared and confused.

sorry this is so long (link)
My official answer is "you REALLY need to tell your mom about this." But you sound like you've already decided not to tell her. Your only option left may be to tell the police instead. He definitely commited a crime. He threw you on the ground (assault), and he touched you with his penis, without your permission. (sexual assault)

I still say to tell your mom, though.

My ex-b/f and I play this game where we ask each other any question and we have to answer truthfully. We found out we loved each other and all that stuff. Yesterday he asked how I felt when he hugged me and I poured my heart out then he says, "By the way I'm in love with someone else." He's going out with this girl who hasn't attended school until 3 days ago. Now my question is did he set me up? Did he try to hurt me or is he really that stupid? And I how do I cope? I love him and he has just ripped my heart out. (link)
Remember, just like myself, he's a dude. We do some pretty stupid things sometimes when it comes to girls.

If he's only known this "new girl" for three days, then he doesn't know her well enough yet to really, really like her, and he doesn't know if it's truly worth breaking up with you or not.

I doubt he tried to "set you up", unless you gave him a GOOD reason to do so.

How to cope? I'm not going to answer that one, because I'm sure one of the females on this board could answer that better than I could.

This may require you to be patient; you should know in a week if he's seriously in love with this other girl, or he's just lost his mind over the new girl. If he comes back to you, and is sorry for doing what he did, take him back. Remember, we're stupid sometimes. ;-)

Abilene, TX

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for about three months. We havent kissed yet, but i think i want to. How should i tell him?? (link)
Whew. This is hard. Three months and no kiss? Not many people have experienced this before.

I wouldn't tell him; I would just do it when the moment's right. But me sure to make it a small kiss--no long kiss, no tongue; because something has obviously shyed y'all away from that first kiss.

Abilene, TX

I am a 14 year old male.
i have asked this girl (anne, 14)on a date.
I have decided to take her to the local fair this Friday?
but i have never been on a date before.
I don't know where to begin!
I need a good ice breaker that will keep us talking the whole time.
I appreciate all advice.
All help is good.

also: should I end the date with a kiss?
I don't relly know how. i have never been kissed. (link)
Let me throw out a few things here.

1. There's no such thing as a "Magical Icebreaker". And you don't have to be talking the ENTIRE time.

2. The fair is an EXCELLENT first date. Movies are bad, because you never have a chance to talk. Fairs allow you to talk if you wanna talk, play some side games, ride a few rides, etc.

3. Your one requirement is this; do whatever you can to win her a prize. You do NOT have to win her a six-foot teddy bear; the smallest, rinky-dink prize on the midway will do just fine. The idea behind this? She'll appreciate the effort, and everytime she looks at her prize, she'll think of you, smile, and remember how much fun she had.

4. The kiss; Jack from "Will and Grace" said this to a straight guy many years ago; "If you don't kiss a girl on the first date, you're a gentlemen. If you don't kiss her on the second date, you're gay." I still follow this rule myself.
Don't feel pressured into trying to give her a kiss; if the situation doesn't feel right, then don't do it! But on the second date, you gotta plant that kiss, or face just being "friends" forever.

ok i'm 17/f (almost 18) and i tend to fall for younger guys. the past 3 guys that i've liked (i went out with one) have been 15 and young 16. i'm a senior and they're all sophomores (one should be a junior). to make it better, my brother is a sophomore as well, and is older than one of them (the one i went out with). my friend says that going out with sophomores would make me look like i'm easy (which i'm definitely not...i'm waiting until marriage). is there any way that i could get myself to stop liking younger guys or is there nothing wrong with it? thanks so much :) (link)
Age doesn't matter when it comes to love. I know your friends MUST be giving you hell about your taste for sophomores, but ignore them the best you can.

Just a reminder, though. I know you're saving yourself from marriage, but you may be over the age of consent and you're dating guys under the age of consent. (Age of consent is different for every state.) Parents who don't want their younger son dating an older woman may start making up stories, etc.

All I'm trying to say is this; if you want to date younger boys, then dammit, date them! You just gotta be very aware of the age of consent problem.

Abilene, TX

Ok, so I like, noticed this one guy on this site, who I think I might work with. I have a strong desire to cut him good. My question is, what kind of knife should I use to cut y...him? (link)
If you're wanting to cut him good (but not kill him?), it's not about what kind of knofe. It's about the length of the blade. Even a dull knife, when given proper force, can easily pierce the skin and do heavy internal damage.
Therefore, if you really want to get the job done, go with blade size. Which means ditch the knife, and go with a sword. I highly recommend the swords that are sold for 275 tickets at Fantasy World in Abilene, TX. (If you know where Abilene is, then come on down, K . . . Mister!)

okay this question is for the guys.. well i have this bf and yes we really like eachother but hes a kinda shy guy and what i mean by that is that we arent really very close very often.. so i was just wondering would me kinda being all over him (like grab his hand and be close to hima nd rub up against him, the little things) every now and then help him warm up to me and maybe get a little bit more on the touchy feely side.. i mean i dont want to do anything stupid to make him wonder why hes going out with me but i want him to get used to being closer, and i wasnt sure if it would seem right since i am the girl and i would be making the moves.. well give me some of your GREAT advice! pleeeaaasssee! (link)
You definitely have the right idea. He might run if you get to agressive, too fast. (And to him, too agressive would be normal pace for some, even a slow pace for others.)

But, more important, is that if you are moving too fast, he may not tell you due to his shyness; so you MUST pay attention to his body language. If you go for his hand, and he pulls back, don't force the issue. try something even more subtle. Putting your head on his shoulder may be a good place to start. Just take it as slow as possible. No, wait . . . slower than that. ;-)

BooDog (A Male Dog)
Abilene, TX

Ohk i have two questions. Thanks.

First the dance game, i think its called Dance Dance Remix, does anyone know the estimated price of that?

And second.. I want an Ipod and today I went to the mall and checked themn out and i do not want an ipod shuffel but the mini ipod which is i think it said 150 and i was wondering, what other things do i need? Like my mom would make me get a case to hold it in, but How do u get the music on to it do you need a cord for ur computer and how much money would that be?
Thanks so mucH! (link)
How do you get the music on it? A cord that connects the Ipod to your computer through the USB Port. It comes with the Ipod, so there's no extra cost.

Also, if you're only interested in a good mp3 player, don't get an Ipod. There are plenty of quality brands on the market that are as good or better than Ipod.

But if you're interested in style, then Ipod's your only choice.

Abilene, TX

ok well when i was younger i had an agent and i did small tv things, and i remember it taking up a lot of my time. ITs been awhile since i have done n e thing involving tv and broadway, and now my dad thinks its a good time to start up again. I have been re hired and everything but when i talked to my agent she says i would probably have to quit a lot of my activites. I am involved with a lot of things right now and i dont no if its the best for me to do this. I really want to act right now and do this again but i dont want to regret it in the long run.

Plex Help (link)
Well buddy, only you can answer that question. But here are two things you gotta remember.

1. This is YOUR life. Don't let your dad sway your decision to act or not.

2. Your agent may be giving you false hopes. She doesn't want you to ditch her and go with another agent, so she may be saying "I've got SO much stuff for you there won't be time for anything else!" when she's only got one gig, and a few auditions where you have to compete with a few hundred others.
What I'm tryin' to say is this; Don't worry about quitting your activities yet. Wait until you have so many jobs that you're forced to pick one or the other.

Abilene, TX

Ok, so i have this crush on a guy but its like an on and off thing were i like him one minute and the next i dont but when i heard someone saying how hott he was i got so jelous and everything so does this mean that i really do have a crush or just like a teeny teeny crush on him?
teeny teeny crushes never, never cause jealousy. The crush is full-blown, ten out of ten. You're getting jealous like you were his girlfriend. Act on the crush NOW, or regret not trying--cause some girl's gonna snag him away, and you're gonna get all depressed, crying, yelling at yourself "why didn't I do something earlier!"

Go get him!!!

Abilene, TX

how do you tell some one who wants to know when you are in pain and need some kind of outlet, but you don't want to tell them what is bugging you, making you feel like suicide is the only outlet? and this person is some one that you love so much you would die for them, literally. what can i say to make him understand that i love him, but i don't want him to know what i am going through?
First off, If you love him, then you won't want to put him through the anguish and the "did I cause her to kill herself" questions of your suicide.

Now that I said that, I think the real question here isn't how to tell him that you love him and not know what you're going through. THe real question is this; why do you not want to tell him what you're going through? Don't just blurt out an answer. Think about this question deep. Real deep. Why do you not want him to know? What's the fear?

well i just found out why this guy at work got apparently one of the managers who is like in his late 50s or early 60s thought it would be appropriate to try to get his arm in some girls pants and i guess there was some investigation on it and this kid that got fired apparently didnt understand the question being asked so he changed what he said and he got fired and now im really scared to go to work what should i do (link)
First off, firing somebody for sexual harassment is a huge, complicated procedure. "Investigations" will be launched, people interviewed, etc.

Nobody (and I mean NOBODY) is going to get fired over sexual harassment because they "changed their answer because they didn't understand the question." If the kid got fired, it was because the kid was in on it too, or knew about it and didn't report it, etc. The kid was directly involved.

There is NO doubt; you heard a false rumor.

Second; don't talk about this with your friends at work; talk with them away from work.

Third; if you get pulled into an office and start getting grilled about what you know, tell the truth. Only the truth.

The only way you could get fired/put on probation/written up/whatever is if you lie about what you know. If you don't lie, you have nothing to worry about.

Abilene, TX

I'm 16 but still in year 11 and I desperately want to move out. I have a job with a regular income (not huge but it's enough) and quite a bit of money saved up. Me and two of my friends want to move out and rent a house somewhere, but we don't know if anyone will rent to us!! Even though we're over 16, we're still in school and you can't get a full-time 'proper' job until you've finished year 11, so does anyone know if you can rent houses - and if you can, if anyone is willing to rent them to you! - before you finish year 11? Or will we have to wait until July, when the school year ends, despite our age?
Thanks loads! (link)
Your main problem is that renting a house involves signing contracts. Since you're not 18, you can't sign a legally binding contract.

If one of your friends is at least 18, then you should be OK. If not, then one of your parents will have to "co-sign" it with you, which will leave your parents responsible for the rent if you choose not to pay it.

Abilene, TX

OK im about to get my permit and I was just wondering what is the test like? and what do you have to do? (I've already read the book but I can't remember all the things) (link)
well, none of us can really help you, because the rules/tests are different in each state.

i have been spending A LOT of time with my b/f and i haven't been spending as much time with my girlies. i want to hang out with my girlies more and spend time with my b/f just not as much. how can i tell him, nicely, that i would like some space to spend time with the girlies? thanks in advance.

Whatever you do, don't use the term "some space" or "more space". It sounds like you're blowing him off, when you're really not. Just tell tim that you want a couple more "girls night out". He can go hang with his male friends for a while.

Theres a girl at my school that i realy like Im 13 and i asked her out about 3or4 monthes ago and she sayd "i dont want to ruin our frendship by going out so for now that a no"
i dont no wat to do should i ask her out again-does she even like me?-wat should i do? (link)
When a girl says this, she usually has no interest in you in a romantic way, yet she cares about you a lot because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings. So, she definitely likes you--but not in the way you want it to be.

Save the humiliation, don't ask her out again. But stay friends.

Abilene, TX

Okay I failed a test in school with a 65, and to raise the grade, the teacher said we could take a retest. Problem is, we have to show a note to our parents saying we failed, and have them sign it. The re-test is tomorrow, and I still haven't showed my parents the note. WHAT do I do? parents kill me if I even get an 85. Help me. :( (link)
Tell your parents first thing in the morning! If your parents get mad when you make an 85, then you're obviously an exceptional student. Therefore, if you made a 65, your parents will probably think that you have a bad teacher, you simply misunderstood what the test would be over, etc.

I would go with the "I studied the wrong chapters" lie; because everybody has done this (for real) before.

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