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Q: I'm thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend of 5 months. I don't want to break up with him I just think I need a change it sounds really horrible saying that. I don't know what to do. :(
Can anyone help?
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It's not horrible if it's what you want. You're probably still young and still figuring out what you want in a guy and in life. Talk to him about it and if you guys had something good, you guys will still be friends after the break up. You can propose "taking a break" (but only if you want to) and see how you do without him for a while. In other words, not being in an exclusive relationship. Talk to him privately and see how he feels about you and the relationship and just say how you feel. If he's a good guy, he'll understand and he'll want you to be happy :)
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Q: 17/f
I have known this boy for years and we have always liked eachother. finally after years of on and off seeing eachother there was always a connection. finally we are together. we are in love and talk to eachtoher all the time and text 24/7. the down side is we only get to see eachother twice a week. he is very insecure and emotionally weak. he trusts me but every once in a while he says he has his doubts and can't trust other people. it takes him forever to get over things which bugs me because i never worry about anything and i get over things quicker than they begin. is there anyway i can fix this?
thanks soo much :)
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Sounds like what I had going on three years ago! Except I was the insecure one ):
My then boyfriend and I had a long distance relationship and it was great! Until I started having my doubts because his exgirlfriend who was still really close to him. I would always disregard what he had to say and I didn't believe him (which I should've) and I had all these doubts. Sometimes, I'm not even really sure why!
I think the only way to fix this insecurity of his is to show him that you really care about him and that he's important to you. Not only through your words, but your actions. The little things that count! But ultimately, it's going to take time and his maturity to understand and trust you.
Best of luck!
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Q: this is so weird. ive been with my bf 4-5 months [officially 4 but weve been "together" about 5 probably]. anyway, hes the best thing thats ever happened to me and i honestly dont want to lose him... however sometimes i feel like i wanna tell him that we should break up. its weird, because i dont actually want to break up with him, i just want to say it. whats that about??? 16/f.
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i've had this feeling before, and i know exactly how you feel about the whole not wanting to break up with him, but wanting to say it. for me, personally, it was because it didn't seem like he cared much about me anymore, or the little things he said that he "thinks" means nothing, really did mean something.. BIG. and it got on my nerves, to say the least.
are there little things about him that bug you? pet peeves maybe? if you don't want to break up with him, you probably don't. but you'll know when the time is right. so don't think too much about it, have fun together! best wishes to the two of you! (:
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Q: Well, here's the thing. I met this guy at the dog park. We totally hit it off, and we talked for an hour and a half. It was wonderful. Then we had to go, because it was getting dark and I had to walk home. I left without getting his number, but browsing MySpace, I found and added him. It's been about a month since I talked to him, but I really want to see him again. What should I do? If I message him, what do I say?
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reconnection! always a tricky topic in everyday life. i've had to go through some of these myspace messaging days myself to reconnect with people. i say you take a go at it and message him. jog his memory by saying where you met and that you met him a month ago at the dog park. don't forget to mention specifics and such that you guys talked about to really make it stand out in his memory. as the first message, just get reacquainted with him. then, as you two begin to talk more, you know what to do ;D best wishes! =]
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Q: I know in the real world, this doesn't really matter, but as a high school junior who's romantically interested in a freshman, I really need help. I met him in marching band, and instantly, we clicked. He's everything that I've ever looked for in a guy, right down to the band geekiness. Unfortunatly, I'm more of a traditional person, so when he reciprocated my feelings for him, I was torn between accepting and rejecting. Not only that, but I am of a high leadership position in the band, so I know that rumors will fly, perhaps even getting in the way of his wishes to become drum major. He's still waiting for my answer. You seem to give really good advice, so I'm hoping to hear from you soon!
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i'm glad you came to me for advice! and let me tell you this, i can totally relate to your position. i am of a leadership position in marching band as well, and i know words flies FAST in the band family, so i can understand your worries about rumors and such. now ask yourself if these so-called "rumors" may affect you as well. but also take in consideration to follow your heart, i cannot stress that enough these days. if you think it is the right decision for you, take it, but only when you've given it much thought. if you're worried about rumors spreading and it affecting his reputation, so to speak, talk to him about your worries and your doubts. make sure you communicate with each other and let him know what you think about the situation. let him know that you're worried about the whole rumors situation. most likely, he wouldn't mind it at all because of his feelings for you. but talk it out, and i'm sure you'll work something out. as for the rumors part of it, i wouldn't worry about it too much. rumors CAN ruin your reputation, but hey, if they're not true, forget about them. the people who started them are probably jealous or envy what you have that they don't. best wishes to you! (:
if you need any further, don't hesitate to ask! i'm MORE than happy to help you =]
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Q: I have a real problem. Their are like ten boys that like me, and want to go out with me, and their all really nice. Idk what to do. Which one should i go out with?? I REALLY need help!!!!
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your pick! choose the guy that YOU would want to go out with. choose the guy that's up to your standards and caring, nice, sweet, kind. all the qualities that will attract you. find out what you want & best wishes! (:
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Q: My boyfriend and i would like to do something. We never know what we should do and we just want to have fun. what are some ideas of things that we can do, he hurt his hip so we can't walk and can't use his right arm cuz he hurt it. Please help us out.....
NO SEX!!!!!!
(or nudity for that matter)
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rent a movie & have a nice, cozy movie time at home. since he's hurt, maybe you want to cook for him (dinner, maybe?) you guys can have a nice movie night & enjoy the company of each other! hope your boyfriend feels better & have fun! (:
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Q: He cheated on me, right. And we've only been within talking distance once since, and that was because we kind of had to be. That was yesterday. But he IMed me once since he told me he cheated on me [but he didn't tell me the entire truth, and even lied while telling me the 'truth']. I found out 3 weeks ago.
When I think of what he did, I get angry and upset, but I only really think about it when I'm just home and not really doing anything. So I'd be all angry, but he wouldn't know. But when I'm around him, I don't know what to do; be angry, ignore him, act like we're friends, be rude to him, or what? Even when I try to be mad whenever I'm around him, I can't be. He'll make me laugh and then I'll laugh & smile, and then I have to tell myself stop smiling, remember what he did to you.
I don't know how to act. It's like if I act like nothing happened and everything was fine, then he'll think he's off the hook and he won't feel bad about doing what he did, and like I can just tolerate this shit from him. But if I act rude/ignore him/act angry then we might never be friends, and honestly I miss that -- how things were even before he was my boyfriend. Even if I wanted to, though, I can't really be angry when I'm around him. Even when I did give him a kinda rude comment, I felt bad afterwards, though he deserved it. Then again, even though I want to be friends with him, maybe it's just best not to be, I don't know.
I was having a talk with one of my friends who is also friends with him & was there when he cheated on me, and he was telling me how him and a friend were actually talking about it the other day. He said they were saying how it was dumb because "she [his ex gf who he cheated on me with] is a slut," and I'm "cool and stuff and good looking." Made me feeling better that his friends said that, wonder if they've told him that, but not like he cares because he has even told me she is a slut, but he did that anyways, so he doesn't care.
So what do I do?
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it's true that he will think he's off the hook if you just act like nothing's happened. communication is a relationship is the most important thing. talk to him about this situation and how you feel about it. this will give you both a chance to say what you feel. you - to tell him what's on your mind and how you feel about this, how you're confused and don't know what to think anymore. him - to think about what he's done, and how he really hurt you, and to give a chance to explain himself. if he really wants this relationship to work out, he'll do everything & anything to save it. time will tell. best of wishes to you two! (:
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Q: i've known my boyfriend since i was in eigth grade, im about to go to 11th anyways i've always known him as the guy to have girls all over him, and ive always known him as the guy to be allover other girls, he says he loves me and i believe he does he is a good guy but ibeen hurt so many times before how do i know if he says what he means
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you can't really tell if a guy really loves you, he's gotta prove it. he shouldn't be doing anything intentional to hurt you and he should be caring about you. if you're unsure of this, try to have a talk with him. he'll understand that you've been hurt before and you just don't want to be hurt again. i've felt that way, and it's a hard feeling to bear. don't worry, it might just be insecurity. give it some time. talk it out with your boyfriend. best of wishes to the two of you! (:
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Q: Okay, so my boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years and at the beginning of the month, he broke up with me, and he said we needed a break. We were broken up for two weeks and then FINALLY we started to go back out. Now, yesterday, he told me that maybe our break wasn't long enough. He told me that we just needed to be friends for a least a month and that he loves me, but I'm not sure he does. How can he keep hurting me like this and still love me? A month is a long break, I just don't know what to do. But, Please help me out.
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well for one, this isn't your fault. have a talk with him about how you're feeling and ask him why he's doing this. and for what reason a break is needed. tell him that you love him and that you think a month is a little long for a break. if he loves you, he'll explain and you'll understand. communication is the key. best of wishes to the two of you! (:
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Q: I've liked this guy off and on for about six years. For the past 2.5 years we have talked about a relationship, hooked up, and then hated each other. The thing is, he thinks we are friends but he always breaks my heart. When he likes me, we talk for hours everyday for about 3 weeks, and then he goes out with a different girl for the next 2 months. As soon as he breaks things off with that girl he always comes back to me. I'm not saying I still fall for it, because I don't. But I feel like empty because everytime he starts talking with me, he tells me I'm beautiful, I'm like one of his best friends, he doesn't know where he'd be without me, (one time he even said he loved me) and all that bullshit. But since he kept pushing me to the side I've lost all self esteem. One time we got into a fight because he wanted to start smoking, and I was like no thats stupid. Well he called me fat, ugly, stupid, worthless, a whore, and he said that he hated me and that he never liked me. After wasting so much time on him I thought he was telling the truth, and now I think I really am all that he said. It's not like I'm ugly because a lot of guys like me, and I am not fat AT ALL. But even though I know I'm not what he says I am... I can't take compliments, I tell people to fuck off when they try to call me pretty or something, I don't get involved with guys because I'm afraid, and I don't let anyone in. I don't know how to deal with it because I always let him back in and he damages my mind and my heart; But at the same time I want to be over him because I think he's pathetic. I just don't know how to handle it because even though i don't allow myself to talk to him, it still gets to me after all this time. Please tell me whats wrong with me, and how I can forget about this bullshit. Thanks for your time // sorry its long.
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you are way too good for him. he is totally not worth the time or effort. keep a constant reminder about why you told him off. and to make yourself feel better, online or on the phone, lecture him about what a JERK he's been saying all that bullshit crap about you, which is obviously not true. even words can hurt. you might want to talk to your best friends about the situation (and then you all can talk crap about him). you're obviously way too good for him, and he doesn't deserve you. way to stay strong! best wishes! (:
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Q: ok, i was talking with my frineds the other day and they said i should dump my girlfrined, and i asked why and we went into a whole list of shit, ok here it is,
1. when we are together, we don't talk much, i mean we talk alot, but not as much as i and her normly do with other people.
2. when she kiss me, it's more of a peck, and we don't kiss that much anyway.
3. she does not return some of the same feeling as i do, we both love each other very much,
and other little things, like i'm veyr romantci and she's not, i don't know what i should do, my friends mabe right, but i don't want to break up, i'm always question the relatioship, like hsould i stay init, and the problem is that i really don't know if i love her, i do, but the feeling is wirde, it's more of'should i stay in this ti make her happy at the lose of my own happyness' and things like hat, i'm her first boyfriend and she's my 3, my last two hurt my really badly, and i'm not sure if i can every love again, any advice?, if you need more info. just tell me and i will update
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if you don't want to break up with your girlfriend, don't. my philosophy about relationships are if both partners don't try, nothing is going to come of it. try talking to her about this, let her know your thoughts. she'll be glad to know that you trust her enough to tell her this. if you're staying in a relationship just to keep the other person happy, it's a lose-lose situation. you'll be hurting yourself, and when she finds out the real reason that you were staying with her, it'll break her heart even more. talk to her about it, and give it some time. don't rush things. best of luck to the two of you! (:
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Q: how do i get a guy to like me he said he loved me but know he wont even talk to me im so much in love with him please help me i dont know what to do
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well basically, you can't get a guy to like you, but who said one can't try? if this guy said he loved you and know he won't even talk to you, something tells me he's either faking it or he really does love you and is to shy to say anymore. he might've thought he embarrassed himself or something! give it some time for him to think over, but don't give him too much time. after you've given him this "space," try getting in touch with him again and see what happens. don't stress out over it, i'm sure all with go your way! best wishes! (:
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Q: ok..my boyfriend and i have been going out for a year and five months..almost 6...and we have only been able to talk on the phone because my parents are way too strict!! weve only gone to a few places and i still love him and he still loves me but i really want to go places with him...do you know how i can talk to my parents without making them mad?
cuticlesistas!!
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one option is: try and sit down with your parents and talk to them about the situation and why they won't let you go places. maybe it's a trust issue, but maybe they're not ready to let you go yet. any of this could be a possibility. if you're ready to confront your parents, do so! i encourage it (:
but if you don't think you want to talk to your parents just yet; a second option is: plan a group outing with a few close friends along with your boyfriend. if it is a trust issue, they'll probably let you go if it's in a group. you could plan an outing to go to theme parks (disneyland, raging waters, knotts, six flags, etc.) or just anywhere. you might want to consider inviting friends that your parents know or trust, so they don't get any suspicious ideas. but other than that, that should work! best of luck to you and your boyfriend! (:
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Q: Okay- I'm 13/f and I know a boy who is one of my best friends and I really like him we had a relationship before but it didn't work out - we were like....9 so of course it didn't but I'm starting to get the feeling that he likes me. Like he stares at me until I look at him then he looks away- or hes always defended me but now that his cousin has come down to visit (he's not to nice) when he gets mean he defends me as much as I defend him- and he is starting to stand next to me when i around- he blushes when I'm around- when I sleep(his sister Is my BFF) over at his house(we all sleep on the floor its like a normal thing at their house) he tries to sleep next to me(blush)-and when we talk he looks deep into my eyes and acts like I'm the only thing in the world that matters. Do you think he likes me and Is to shy to ask me out? Because I'm to scared ask him.
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it's safe to say he likes you and it seems that both of you might be too shy to say anything about it. you might want to plan a group outing with a couple of close friends and just hang out. movies are always a good place to hang out. strike up a casual conversation and when you're ready, bring up the topic. everything will start flowing, best wishes! (:
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Q: okay so theres this guy [ my boyfriend ]
and we've been going out for about 2 months and i dont really like him anymore. we never hang out that much so its kinda pointless to go out anymore and schools starting again and i wanna keep my options open.we've gone out before and i broke up with him that time and he was really sad. i dont know how to break up with him again. help?
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assuming that last time's breakup isn't for the same reason. you might want to warn him about it first or drop some hints so he knows what to do. you two might hit the spark again. but if you're dead set on breaking up with him, never break up online. that's the worst possible scenario. so not online, start a casual conversation and casually ease in the subject. remember to compliment, compliment, compliment. it makes them feel at least a little bit better. the whole cliche "you're a nice guy and all but.." make sure you're clear about the reason why you're breaking up with him so he doesn't get any strange ideas. just reassure him during the process and make clear that you still want to be friends, and that should do it. there may be some awkwardness between you guys for some time after, but if you guys are good friends, it'll stay that way. best of luck to you!
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Q: Alright so I used to have a boyfriend named Drew but, I broke up with him. I`ve really been regreting it lately because I feel like I really didn`t give him a fair chance. The thing is he hangs out with these really slutty girls now that aren`t part of my group. I`m with the more popular girls. I want to tell him I regret breaking up with him and I wish we had another chance but I`m afraid he`ll just laugh at me. I have no idea what to do. Please help me
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if you're still keeping in touch with him daily, go ahead and casually bring up the topic. don't be so direct at first, just ease it in. start with a casual conversation, talk about a couple things, and then find a way to relate the subject. don't be afraid of the things you believe in. on the other hand, if you're not still keeping in touch with him. get into a normal routine of talking to him again and once you're used to talking to him, talk with him about it. if you're not comfortable talking about it with him over the phone or in person, online works fine. but be prepared for any result. hope everything works out for you! remember, have faith! (:
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Q: this is REALLY long...sorry
I like this guy named Kevin, and i have for a while.
i have liked other guys, and had a boyfriend, but always had a crush on this guy.
We are pretty good friends, and we are coworkers
one day while working, i was like "hey, kevin, did you know i used to like you?"
and i said that because i didnt relize until a few days later i actually still liked him, its kinda a long story...
anyway, his jaw like, dropped, and i ended up asking him if he ever liked me, and after a really long and confusing answer, he was like "yeah, i did, it happened, its done" or soemthing like that.
So, i ended up telling him a few days later i still liked him, and he was like "okay" cause i kinda told him in this note i wrote him lol.
i was talking to him online, and i asked him what he liked about me before
he said " i dont know really, a lot of things, your looks were one of the things i'm sure...and the fact i can talk to you and it not be akward at all...that and a lot of other things"
so i said "okay, so what happened? my looks went bad and you cant talk to me"
and he said "no, i just cant trust you"
a few months ago, we made out, andi told a few friends, someone over heard, told a bunch of people, and too many people found out.
and someone told him i said he was a terrible kisser, plus,i have a fear of making out with guys with braces because i cut my tounge on this guys ones...
so thats what he means by he cant trust me...he says i critizes him too much because he still thinks i said he was bad, and because of the braces thing.
so, i flirt with him a lot, and he flirts back, and yet he says he doesnt like me anymore because of the trust thing...
then today, i was flirting with a lifegaurd at work (we allwork at the pool) and he got really pissed off
he was like "this is what i mean by the trust thing"
and i was like "you made it clear you dont like me, why do you care?"
and he said"because, if you really liked me, you wouldnt do that"
there was a lot more, and much more back story, but here is the question:
should i just try and gain his trust back somehow, and not flirt with anyother guys, and just focus on Kevin?
or should i tell him that since he says he doesnt like me, i dont want to be pressed on him all summer if there is no chance?
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well, first you've got to ask yourself what you really want out of this. do you want to just focus on Kevin? nothing is worth anything if you don't fight for it. when he said "if you really liked me, you wouldn't do that," he basically meant that if you really liked him, you would keep trying to get to know him, get his trust back, etc. but i mean, c`mon, the guys are supposed to do the chasing. but back to the question, this final decision will be what you want out of this, it's your decision, not his. do you want to get him to like you? or do you want to get out and move on? but if you really want to make sure if you have no chance, you might want to have a serious talk to him about what your thoughts. if he's a decent guy, he'll understand. either way, i know you'll make the decision right for you. g`luck! (:
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Q: Ok some of ya'll may remember that problem of mine. well turns out all of you were right and so was I, something had happened and his mom wouldn't let him talk or something like that. He called Friday and was like I'm soooo sorry I haven't called baby! ANd then went on with what happened. So We are ok now I think..... He hasn't called today but I'm ok with that because we are basically the ideal "couple" at school. Because we never get in fights unles its something horrible lol, and we love and trust each other completely so why throw that away? lol well thanks for all your help!
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i am so happy that everything worked out for you! best wishes! (:
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Q: okay..this guy i like and he liked me too..is moving far away like to another state and we were gunna date but now that he's moving we're not going to obviously..what can i do to make myself get over him leaving?
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well, have you considered the option of a long distance relationship? considering the fact that i'm in one right now. if you guys really want to date each other, it might be a really good option for you guys. but a relationship like this requires a lot of trust and communication. but, if you guys have talked about it, hanging out with friends will always help! just get out & meet new people =] you're bound to find the right guy for you! :D g`luck!
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Info
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Member Since: July 28, 2006 Answers: 86 Last Update: January 6, 2013 Visitors: 7686
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