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Why do I feel so low after so long?
I've liked this guy off and on for about six years. For the past 2.5 years we have talked about a relationship, hooked up, and then hated each other. The thing is, he thinks we are friends but he always breaks my heart. When he likes me, we talk for hours everyday for about 3 weeks, and then he goes out with a different girl for the next 2 months. As soon as he breaks things off with that girl he always comes back to me. I'm not saying I still fall for it, because I don't. But I feel like empty because everytime he starts talking with me, he tells me I'm beautiful, I'm like one of his best friends, he doesn't know where he'd be without me, (one time he even said he loved me) and all that bullshit. But since he kept pushing me to the side I've lost all self esteem. One time we got into a fight because he wanted to start smoking, and I was like no thats stupid. Well he called me fat, ugly, stupid, worthless, a whore, and he said that he hated me and that he never liked me. After wasting so much time on him I thought he was telling the truth, and now I think I really am all that he said. It's not like I'm ugly because a lot of guys like me, and I am not fat AT ALL. But even though I know I'm not what he says I am... I can't take compliments, I tell people to fuck off when they try to call me pretty or something, I don't get involved with guys because I'm afraid, and I don't let anyone in. I don't know how to deal with it because I always let him back in and he damages my mind and my heart; But at the same time I want to be over him because I think he's pathetic. I just don't know how to handle it because even though i don't allow myself to talk to him, it still gets to me after all this time. Please tell me whats wrong with me, and how I can forget about this bullshit. Thanks for your time // sorry its long.
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you are way too good for him. he is totally not worth the time or effort. keep a constant reminder about why you told him off. and to make yourself feel better, online or on the phone, lecture him about what a JERK he's been saying all that bullshit crap about you, which is obviously not true. even words can hurt. you might want to talk to your best friends about the situation (and then you all can talk crap about him). you're obviously way too good for him, and he doesn't deserve you. way to stay strong! best wishes! (:
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He's not worth it. From what I see, he's two-faced and you don't want someone like that in your life. Especially someone who lowers your self-esteem and hurts you because in my opinion, it's emotional abuse. He's just not worth your time.
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--Heather
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