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Last week I posted up a question about two guys I'm stuck between. Oh my god it just got harder, now my childhood friend says that he doesn't want to lose me and my boyfriend the one I'm on break with told me that he is going to fight for me as long as he knows that I love him. This situation just got hard and I'm even more stuck because I don't know if I should be creeped out over this or I should take what my boyfriend told me into consideration and get back with him. If your wondering what my situation is just go to my questions and look up Who do I choose? thats where the story of these two guys are. I'm stuck I have to choose now or never.
There is a saying that is like "If you fall for two people, pick the second one. Because if you really loved the first one, you would never have fallen for anyone else". I never saw your other post, so i'm not too familiar on what exactly your situation is, but my best advice to you is to go with the person who wasn't first in your heart. You could also do some pros and cons in your head of the two, and find out which one you're more compatible with, which one makes you laugh and so on. Hopefully one guy stands out to you and is a better match in the long run. Good luck with whomever you choose to be with!
I'll try to keep it short. One day, I was playing games on my boyfriend's phone when I noticed a series of texts from this girl (we have tons of mutual friends so I was wondering why I didn't know this girl). I went through the texts and I didn't like what I saw. Texts like "smart is sexy", "hanky panky is a fun exercise ;)", etc. were in there and I got really angry. I confronted him about it, but he didn't seem concerned at all. He casually mentioned he's known this girl for a while and they've always joked around like that and it wasn't a huge deal. I'm old fashioned and I see it as a mild form of cheating. Am I overreacting or should I be worried? Thanks so much guys in advance.
I hate to admitt it, but i've been the other girl that your boyfriend is texting. I have flirted purposely when i know a guy has a girlfriend, and 95% of the time, it's because the guy finds the other person attractive in some way or another. If i were you, i would for sure be mad about it, you have every reason to question his behavior because he should know better.
Of course flirting is harmless, and that could be the only thing going on, i'm not saying he is actually cheating on you. Everyone flirts, but it just depends if the guy is taking it to a level that he knows he shouldn't be.
Just talk to him about it; don't always assume, but don't just look past it either. You can let him know that you don't feel comfortable with him sending those kind of texts to other girls, and hopefully he respects you enough to stop.
it seems to me like there is this universal standard look of beauty..... long flowy hair (even beyoncay, hale bare, maraiah carey spend hours turning it into something Caucasians and Latinas have) what ever happened to curly hair? even curls the curls the have are fake!
not that i am saying all those women are ugly or anything but if thats the standard then heck i'm way out of the picture....... and its making me feel terrible. i am not fat or anything, my face is clear no acne... its just that my nose isn't a ski slope, my hair is super curly and my eyes are pit black (i know that is anatomically not possible but it is the last shade of brown before black!) i'm not tall (only 5'4) and i only fit into a size 8 (sometimes!).........
this sounds cheesy but seriously with that high of a standard what are my odds to look beautiful in the eyes of someone?! if there are any odds at all...
this is really depressing ...
i dont know why, but it seems like people are brainwashed to feel the need to look up to all women in magazines and on t.v. and if you really think about it, theres nothing THAT good about them. i mean, how are they any different from a normal person? besides the fame of course.
i guess it is good to have a role model in life, but it shouldnt be taken as 'i HAVE to look like this person, or else i wont be beautiful.' thats just so cliche, and not true at all.
i honestly think that everyone has their own kind of beauty in them, no matter what it is. we are all different in our own ways, and thats what makes us who we are today. and you should admire that about yourself--being like someone else isnt as cool as some people think it would be if you really think about it.
my hair is naturally curly, and i used to hate it with a passion. but you know what, people spend tons of money on one hair appointment to get their hair to look half as good as what we were born with. and it doesnt even last long anyway. but us, we can play with our hair so many different ways--and it holds any style. its great.
im 5'5 and i feel like a giant compared to some of my friends. i get self conscious when i dress up and have to wear heels, because i hate the fact of having to look down while i talk to someone. so enjoy your height--the shorter, the better. [:
there are plently of guys out there with different tastes in girls. im not saying that every single guy will like certain things about you, because thats not true about anyone. but i do know that their are plently of guys who are attracted to your characteristics.
you are beautiful in peoples eyes, so dont ever think otherwise girl. you have your friends and family. and your going to meet people down the road who love the way you are, and wouldnt want you to change for the world.
people are always going to want what they dont have. we just need to learn to appreciate what we do have, and work with it. and eventually, we grow to love it, and will be glad that we are this way. trust me.
(:
prom is on saturday. i am going with my boyfriend. the plan after prom was to go back to my friends house and everyone in our group would sleep over. last night i told my boyfriend the plans and he was like ok thats fine. then a couple seconds later he was like "actually, im going to jake's house after prom we can get alcohol and ride around and stuff". i didn't really feel like arguing so i just said alright. i told my best friend about it today and she was mad and texted him saying "good job youre ditching your girlfriend to get drunk". normally i could care less if he wants to go out with his friends and get drunk or whatever. but its prom night, the only night we have an excuse to sleep in the same house together haha. would it be wrong to tell him not to go to jakes? or should i just let him?
i completely agree with you about being mad about this. i mean seriously, why would your boyfriend rather go off and hang out with his guy friends and not his girlfriend on prom night?
last year at prom, my best friends boyfriend was NOWHERE to be found literially all throughout prom. she went looking for him, and finally gave up and just sat at our table all night. i felt so bad for her. i dont think guys know how important this night is for us girls, you know? they just think of it as just a night. but its so much more i think.
anyways, my point is that knowing your boyfriend isnt going to be spending time with you afterwards might put you in a sad mood all night. because what are you going to look foward to when prom is over?
your boyfriend needs to know how much you want to be with him at the end of the night. so let him know that this is a special night for you and you want him to be in it. he can go drinking any night he wants, so skipping it on prom night shouldnt be such a big deal.
confront him about this and give him your thoughts about this situation. and if he cares about you, he should want to make you happy any way he can.
good luck, and have fun at prom!
(:
16/f
alright so, ive been dating this guy for 2 1/2 months, and i dont love him is that normal? like.. if i dont love him by now should i brake up with him.. what would other people do? everyone around me is saying to brake up with him.. i do like him a lot i just dont love him..
thanks.
the first thing i want to say is that you should NEVER question your relationship with other people. they arent you or your boyfriend, so asking them if you should or shouldnt be with someone isnt how you should go about this. no one can tell you who or not to love, or tell you to give up on something just because its taking longer than you expected.
falling in love is different for everyone. some people rush into it fast, a little too fast might i add. and others, they take the time to actually get to know the person they are with and then falling in love comes after it.
if someone has told you if you dont fall in love with by a certain time, then the relationship is a waste of time, seriously has no clue what they are talking about. falling in love just happens. its not something that you have to mark on your calander and wait until a certain day.
take your time, enjoy being with your boyfriend, and when you are ready, you WILL start falling in love with him. and gradually your feelings for him will increase over time.
dont give up just because you havent found 'love' with this boy yet. it will happen sooner or later. and when it does, cherish it with all your heart.
good luck
(:
I don't understand why I act in a way that is different from myself every time I am around a guy that I like in a date type situation. I mean I have only had one boyfriend in the past but he broke up with me because the relationship was weird, and it was my fault. It was my fault for not being myself and for trying to hide who I am. Ever since I was little I have been strange but I take pride in that and all my friends love me because of who I am. I like my personality too but I can't show that through in relationships. Like right now I really like a guy but feel like when I am around him he is not really SEEING the real me. He is only seeing the shyer, awkwarder version of me. Before I liked him, like before the flirting and more serious situations I could talk to him and try to open myself up to him. I just wish i could understand what my problem is, and i could be able to show people who I am. Because if there is one thing I hate its feeling like I can't control who I am.
i think you may just be scared to put yourself out there. it seems to me like sometimes putting yourself out there, its just a good way to get hurt. im not saying that its true about every one, but it can and has happend before.
my advice is to keep your gaurd up for those who you may not feel is trustworthy yet. and when you are ready, take it down and let them in. you will know when the time is right and who you want to let in your life.
the guy you are with now im sure you guys really enjoy being with each other. but you might not feel completely sure of yourself, or even him at the moment. i think you need to take time to get to know each other little by little. the things you tell each other dont have to be anything huge in your life, just minor details are fine.
it can be hard to trust someone, and you want to make sure that the trust is 100% there before you give it out.
the feeling of not knowing how to control who you may think you are is frustrating im sure. but i think you could still be trying to find out exactly who you are. you dont need to rush it, dont worry.
just be comfortable with yourself the way you are now, and know that it is ok that you dont know every single mystery about yourself just yet. life works in crazy ways sometimes. so just be pacient and everything will make sense sooner or later.
(:
my boyfriend has had 3 other girlfriends besides me and has slept with 6 other girls. this boy is my first serious boyfriend and the first and only person i have ever slept with. now, i know i cant do anything about all the people he has been with but the other day i was in his room looking through some pictures that he had in a basket and i found many many pictures of all his old girlfriends. there were ones from his prom and when he was very young and even sexual pictures with his first girlfriend. it really hurt me that he still had these and i that i saw them. i dont like thinking that he has been with other people the same way he has been with me. it hurts a lot.
he also slept with another girl while we were dating and it just really hurts whenever i have to be reminded of things like that. i just wanted to know how to get passed all these other girls.
first of all, i dont agree with the girl below me. i dont think this is your fault that you got curious and found what you did. no one sets themself up for heartbreak. thats just ridiculous.
sometimes people do keep old memories of them and the person they were with. i guess its somewhat of a reminder of what they had, but that doesnt mean he cares for his old girlfriends more than he does you. i wouldnt take it that way at all.
its hard to forget about the people you once loved, we all know that. so you cant be mad at him for something we all have done.
i think you should talk to him about how your feeling right now. tell him whats upsetting you so much and hopefully you two can come to a conclusion on how to fix it.
as for him cheating on you, thats messed up. im guessing you feel the need to 'forgive, but never forget.' which is totally understandable. because if you really care about someone, sometimes forgiving them is all you can do if you want to be with them that bad.
i really believe in the forgiving but never forgetting thing. life is too short to hold a grude on people you know?
but definatly let him know whats going on in your mind right now about all of this. let him know what this is a serious matter for you, and if he really does care about you, he will do what he can to make things better.
good luck
(:
ive never had a kiss before btu i was wondering, not htat i can help it or anything but if guys like girls with fuller lips or thin ones?
i really dont think the size of a girls lips really matter to a guy.
some guys like a certain thing, so im sure there are a few guys out there who are extremely picky about every little detail on a girl. but other than that, full lips or thin lips, guys dont mind what kind they are kissing.
(:
well ive been going out with this guy for 6 days.
But we like eachother and he met my parents, who think hes a really nice and great guy.
so we talk to eachother a lot. I hung out with him yesterday. And i really want for him to kiss me. Please dont say hes not a good boyfriend for not kissing me yet, i mean its only been 6 days.
So what are some ways i can either
1)flirt with him to make him understand.
2) Make him realize i want to kiss him/ have him kiss me.
3) Have him kiss me.
Thanks in advance.
-Arie(:
i think you should make the first move.
i dont think you should just run up to him and give him a peck or anything like that. you need to make it soft, sweet and something he will really enjoy.
lay on his bed or the couch or something together. make sure you guys are cuddling too. make sure to gaze into his eyes while smiling, and then slowly go in for a romantic kiss.
he will totally love how his first kiss with you happend. trust me.
(:
Lately this guy who had never talked to me before, started talking to me. I realized that his best girl friend, that he likes so much was in florida when he started talking to me, as soon as she got back, we stopped. Now we barely talk at all. How do i stop thinking about this or how do i get over him ? What should i do to stop thinking about it, because he calls me ocasionally when she doesnt pick up her phone. What should i do?
oh girl, i dont like this boy already.
i know you dont want to hear this, but hes using you. its like when he cant get what he wants from that one girl, your the rebound. im not talking about anything sexual, but this goes for talking too.
whatever you do, dont give in. hes being so selfish and is only thinking about what he wants, and your feelings arent concerning him one bit at this point.
guys can be total skum at times, and i dont understand why. i think they act a certain way just to make themselves feel better or something. obviously he needs a major ego boost so he feels like he can get away with playing two girls.
i like sharing personal stories of mine that sort of relates to the questions people ask, to show them a real example.
ok so during christmas break like a year ago i was at the mall shopping for presents with my family and i went into this one shop to find my litte brother something, and a guy that worked there asked me if i needed any help so i had him point out where i could find a certain shirt or whatever. so he started hitting on me and then he got my number. a week later he calls me and asks if i wanted to go see a movie with him, and i did. after he got the tickets, the first thing he said when we walked in the movie is "i think we should make out." i was kind of like..ok well thats no problem that he wants to do that, i didnt really think of anything from it. so we did. and then he was talking about having sex in his car, and he asked me if ive ever had sex in a theatre. he was seriously being such a skeaze, and not acting at all like he should have acted on a first date. i declined the sex with him, because im for sure not looking for a one night stand. after continuously asking to hook up, he finially got tired of being rejected i guess, so he got up and left.
i realized that when he first met me, he must have thought i was easy and thats the only reason why he wanted to go out with me in the first place.
that was kind of long, i really hope you still read it and try to take it in. i wanted to show you that sometimes guys dont think with their head at all. and they only care about what they will get out of something.
so my point is to just totally forget about this jerk, and move on to a guy who will appreciate you. someone who you know doesnt just call you because some other girl wont pick up her phone.
(:
I like this boy named chase and friend said he does like me but how can i be sure he really does like me and i like this boy named trever to who been flirting with my freind right infront of me wut do i do please help.
if chase likes to be around you a lot and he seems to be flirting with you, then he likes you.
there are signs you need to look for to see if a guy likes you. most of the time the signs are very noticable.
and as for trevor, i would say forget about him right now. one reason mainly is because he is openly flirting with one of your friends. who wants a guy that gives other girls attention and not you?
find a boy who only sees you, no one else.
you need to hang out with chase some more and show him that your interested. and if he does in fact like you, he will let you know. trust me.
good luck
(:
well i like this guy and i have reason to believe that he likes me to. but its weird because when i am around him and my friends are there its like he feels a little out of place because he doesn't know them that well. but then when i am just with him we have so much to say. i mean its just so easy to talk to him. i want to get to know him better but if we are alone together it seems like a date or something which is weird because dates kind of freak me out. we hung out today with a group of friends but it was just better when i could sit down next to him and just talk. what should i do to get to know him better? thanx
it looks like hes not all that comfortable to be around people he barely knows, which is fine. the more he hangs out with your friends, the more he will warm up to them. it takes time.
since you guys like to be alone while you talk i suggest going out to get some dinner. that way, you both are sitting face to face, alone, and you have time to talk about anything and everything.
a movie would be an ok idea just to be alone, but im sure talking wouldnt happen while you watch the movie since you would be too focused on the movie. so if you ever just want to cuddle up with him alone, then going to the movies is a for sure thing.
you could also go to eachothers houses, the park, or walk around the mall together to communicate some more. theres so many places you guys can go to be in your own world to talk.
(:
I have recently broke up with my boyfriend. However, I think it was wrong. I thought that I did love him the way he loved me, but now that we are not dating, I am realizing that I did care about him a lot. I don't know if he will understand and let me back into his life again in the same way as we had before. What do I do? Do I even have a chance of getting him back? Or is it over for good? Help me please
the saying 'you dont know what you had until its gone' is so true isnt it?
we all make mistakes. and im glad that you realized that you had made one, and that your wanting to fix it.
the only thing i can tell you is to get together with him and talk about it. tell him how sorry you are and that this decision wasnt what you really wanted. try to ask for his forgivness and if he really does care about you, he WILL forgive you.
it looks like your not ready to let him go, so you need to do everything to make sure that doesnt happen.
when you really care about someone, never ever let them get away.
i hope everything works out for you.
(:
16.m
i had a gf that lasted over one year. she said she just didn't want a bf anymore so i was cool with it. i also asked her, if there was another guy. she swore there wasn't.
i kid you not, 2 weeks later,she kissed my best friend, and told another one of my friends she liked them. both like her back.
i have no idea what to do with myself. i want to stop talking to her, because i hate her SO MUCH.
yet, everynight i still call her out of habbit and we talk like nothings wrong, i mean, it's almost like we're going back out, kinda talk.
but then the next day always come and i find out she's hanging out with 1 of 2, or BOTH of my best friends and is cuddling with them, and carrying on. and she still has the nerve to tell me she loves me, and cares about me.
i'm so frustrated, so mentally drained, so stressed it's ridiculous.
i know things will get better in time, but right now, everything just sucks.
im really sorry to hear that.
i know how you feel, i havent been in your shoes exactly, but this one guy who i was really close to felt the same way as you do because of my stupid decisions.
all i can say is that its hard to get over someone who you really care about and you were so close to. heartbreak is the worst.
all i know is that it takes time, its not going to go away instantly thats for sure.
if your ex is still calling you and telling you she loves you then either shes not completely over you either, or shes being really insensitive and only cares about herself right now. it may very well be both of these things at the same time.
all i can say is to just try really hard to strain yourself from making any kind of contact with her for a while. you need time away from her to clear your mind and focus on other things.
i know this might be hard for you to do since you were in a relationship with her for a long amount of time, but whenever she calls you or texts you, dont respond.
you need to show her that you are hurt from her actions, and if you keep coming back to her like nothing ever happend, she wont ever learn that what she did was wrong.
you need to take some control and make her realize that what she is doing truely hurts and angers you. no one deserves to feel like you do, so make her see that.
good luck (:
Ok this is weird.... I've had a lil history of liking someone, and later on something happens and things become awkward or something, and I end up not liking them anymore. btw, I'm 13/f. Well when I was in elementary school, I had a crush on this dude. When he finally kinda liked me I guess, he didn't literally say it, but he said "I love you." and I was like wow wtf. So then I felt uncomfortable, and weird, and I didn't like him anymore. Even though before, I liked him a lot. Currently, I have a crush on someone. (I think) I've said things like "I love you ______" in a buddy sorta way. I would hug him, but I always hug my friends. Then today, the guy I have a crush on started acting a lil more affectionate (it was kind of in a joking/buddy way) and it just became awkward for me. I felt uncomfortable. I still do right now. I keep thinking about it and it's just so weird. Like I always imagine him doing nice things for me and things that couples would do. I even see people at school who are like that, but they're serious about their relationships. I don't think they're nervous at all. This confuses me. How can I like someone, but then when they finally like me back I decide not to like them anymore? Then things are awkward. He's still my buddy and all, I dunno about my feelings right now. It just confuses me and I wish it wouldn't happen. Shouldn't it be a good thing that the person you like likes you back? (I don't actually know if he likes me back...) I'm so confused. xD any info or advice is greatly appreciated! (I hope everything made sense. Right now it's weird for me having to explain and describe everything I'm feeling. D:)
its just nerves.
its kind of like once you get that one thing you want; and you dont know exactly what to do with it, its just confusing to you.
im sure this boy does like you and if you still do like him you need to show that some more so something can actually happen. and im sure once you two get a little more comfortable around each other, everything else will seem much easier to deal with.
i have another outlook on this. and im baseing it on what sometimes has happend to me in the past.
when i like a guy and im not too sure if he likes me or not just yet it seems like everything is easier to do for me. like i would continually be flirting with him and loved getting all the attention i could from him. but then when i find out that he likes me too, my feelings for him slowly start fading away.
i think its because i like a chase and a challange when it comes to boys. and once i know that i can have him, my desire to keep trying just goes away. i guess because it isnt as fun anymore. kind of weird right? haha.
im not sure if that is what you are doing or not, but its just an idea.
but anyways, if you still have your mind set on this boy to be more than friends, dont let anything hold you back. && remember, confidence is key. and that may be all that you need right now to get things back to normal and not be so awkward anymore.
(:
16/m
Yesterday i aksed this girl out that i realy liked her so finally i asked her and she said yes. well now everytime we are together shes always quiet, im always doing most of the talking, I dont want our relationship to be plain i want to connect with her but she quiet even with her freinds they told me she was just as quiet. I just want to know how to gain her trust so she can talk to me more, i dont want to lose her please somebody help!!!
there are plenty of shy girls out there, mainly because they prolly just dont feel like they have enough confidence yet. which is totally fine; they will overcome it eventually. it takes time.
when a girl is totally quiet around you its your job to make her feel more comfortable and sort of help her let loose a little.
you can try playing that '20 questions' game. just go back and forth with a simple question, about anything at all and hear eachothers answers.
try opening up to her some and let her know that its ok to open up to you as well. when she sees that your a fun and interesting guy, she will start to see that its ok to give in as well.
try to not have any silent moments while you guys are talking, because that might make her tense up some more and it will just be extremely akward for her. and we dont want that.
make her laugh too. that will work.
good luck (:
heyy. i really liked the advice i saw you give. so im 14 and a female. i really like this guy who goes to my school and in my grade. we are always talkin and textin each other. and we always flirt. all my friends tell me to ask him out and all his friends tell him to ask me out. i know he likes me, but if he does why dont he ask me out then? i really want to go out with him,but if i ask him out what if he says no, then out friendship would be weired. should i wait for him to make the first move and ask me out, or should i make the first move and ask him out???????
thanks :]
well i already know that you both have the same feelings towards each other since you both seem to be talking a lot. so thats good.
believe it or not, guys are just as scared to do some things. especially at asking out a girl. they get nervous beyond belief, which shows that they really do like you but their something is holding them back because they too are hate rejection.
you need to take charge and make this happen. if you dont want to be the one to ask him out, then reel him in to doing it himself.
in other words, show him that you are interested and dont hold back. make him feel comfortable enough to be himself around you and everything should go smooth from there.
if a guy is intimidated, then he will tense up and he will be terrified to make any kind of move.
so show him what you have to offer, and soon enough he will be asking you out in no time. i promise.
(:
okay so theres this reallyyyyy hot kid whos ive been obsessed about for like ever and now im finally friends with him. one problem, i have a boyfriend and we've been going out for almost 6 months. btw im in 10th and theyre in 11th. umm and i really llike my bf but idk now im kinda feeling like restrained and i cant do anything if you know what i mean, cause this really hot kid thats im now friends with i think likes me. would you rather be with the one you love or the one who loves you? so idk what to dooooo! someone please help me
something that you should NEVER do is dump your boyfriend for someone who you think is better. i mean, if you and your current boyfriend are having problems and are fighting a lot, theres really not much you can do if you no longer feel the need to solve the problems that you may be having.
im assuming you still have feelings for your boyfriend, right? are those feelings not strong enough to stay with him?
my opinion is if this other guy who you have liked for a long time never gave you the time of day before, is he really worth giving up someone who has been in your life longer just because he just now realized that he likes you?
i know what i say will only go so far when it comes to if you want to listen to it or not, but ill give my input anyway and you can take it how youd like to.
if i were you, i wouldnt give up my guy that i love for anyone. love is such a strong emotion and you need to treat it the right way. i would do what my heart tells me to, and in this case i hope your heart tells you not to leave your boyfriend.
there will always be guys who are tempting and will make you think if they are the better boy for you, but in the long run i think you already have it good.
continue staying friends with that other guy though. because you never know, you could get a very good frendship out of him.
good luck with what you decide to do girl.
(:
I have this problem with guys. Like every single time I date a guy and I like them lot and stuff. But I end up breaking up with them in the end. It's like I can't commit to just one guy. I want a long-term relationship but I can't cause I can't commit. Its like when I start getting attached I push him away. How could I commit to just one guy and actually stay with him and not break it up? Any advice or suggestions? Thanks in advance!
that sounds exactly like me. just know that your not the only girl out there who thinks shes not ready to commit.
it could be two reasons:
one may be that the guys your dating just arent the right guys for you, and therefore it will never work out. and im really glad that you arent forcing yourself to stay with one guy just because you want a relationship. never settle for just anyone.
the second reason could be that since your telling yourself that you cant ever commit, its stuck in your head that way. you need to not think about it so much, and just let whats meant to be take its own course.
i guarentee if you just roll with what your feelings may be with a certain guy, it will all go into place.
you will find someone who you are comfortable with to be committed to for an extended period of time. sometimes great things take time, and i think thats the case this time.
so dont worry.
be pacient, dont stress yourself out too much and good luck (:
so my boyfriend i wanna do it,but it is both his and mine first time.we wanna know how it will feel and also what to expect afterwards?
aw i think thats really cute that you guys are eachothers first time. i wish that happend to me.
since this is your first time, make it something you two will never forget.
for you it might hurt a little bit, so when it does just let your boyfriend know and tell him to slow down some. also, make sure hes wearing a condom. thats a must (:
if you guys are comfortable with eachother, then the afterwards part wont be anything akward or anything, so dont worry. just cuddle when you get done; its great.
i think you should set the mood and have the lights dimmed and have candles and such around the room. it will get you in the moment and you will love it.
also, make sure to have fun! (: