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kayendall06Member Since:
February 1, 2007Answers:
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My name is Kendall. I've had different advice columns before, and this is my new one. I'm good at giving advice, I'm always who my friends come to for help. I'm not here for ratings, I'm here to give people help with their problems. Just because I don't say what you want to hear doesn't mean you should rate me low, or leave rude feedback. The truth can't always be sugarcoated, because thats how life is. I specalize in friends, relationships, and style. I like when people ask questions to my Inbox. Thanks :)advice
19/F
Ok this seems long and soap-opera-ish but please bear with me. I’ve gotten rid of some of the details to make it shorter but please tell me if it isn’t clear enough. And please don't rant at me about being a cheating b**** or anything. I know I am a bad bad person. I just need you to tell me what to do.
Nate has always been the typical "rich bad boy" type. He gets a pack mentality when he is with his boys so he’s labeled an official ***hole. He's had a pretty bad past and when you get him alone, he’s different. He and I go a few years back when I wasn't into the party scene, and it got around that he "wanted" me. I shot that down and he gave up. I've been intrigued by him (i.e. had a crush on him) and we always used to exchange looks all the time at school and parties and I could feel the sizzles (but wasn’t sure it was mutual). Only last year did we start talking a bit inside and outside school. Then I finished school and didn’t see him.
In May, I met Blake. He’s ridiculously good-looking, the sweetest guy ever, and a cook. I didn’t think he was into me so I backed off then recently, Blake started showing interest in me and I was thrilled. We were perfect for each other, our life goals and views were the same, we had minor arguments sometimes, which ended with practically no resentment on either end, and we always made up quickly. It was the perfect relationship. I was still a virgin but he understood because he had only been with one chick (his year-long girlfriend in grade 11).
End of last year, Nate and I ended up at a party together. I was hammered out of my mind and we had sex in a bedroom. It was harsh to the point that he did it, shoved me away and left. I was broken after. Eventually, I told Blake and he was mostly sad for me and he did whatever he could to make me feel better. Including sex and it was just like the rest of our relationship, comfortable.
Then one day, Nate showed up at my house after I saw him at the mall and went home all shaken up. We had sex. We have had sex about five times now altogether. Usually it’s when I’m vunerable. It’s pretty much casual sex but it is explosive as in really really hot, stuff I thought didn’t exist outside novels. Blake and I haven’t even come close, even though there is some sizzle, it isn’t comparable. Told Blake once and he was mad but he came back and told me he’d still have me and he didn’t understand. Usually Nate just has sex with me and sticks around for a while and leaves but one time, he actually stayed after and kissed my face and stuff.
This is what confuses me. Blake and I are perfect for each other and it’s not a completely devoid of sexual drive either but when I’m with Nate, it feels right like it’s exactly where I belong.
I’m just so afraid of hurting Blake. I want to stay with him but at the same time, I feel like puking when I think about what a disgusting unfaithful slut I’m being. And I’m pretty sure Nate doesn’t want a relationship. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t want to look back twenty years from now and regret it. I know that bad boy’s can’t be tamed but I know his history and I kind of still ache for Nate but Blake is just perfect.
Help?
look, i really think even though you crave nate, you should date blake. he seems like such a better person, and a great boyfriend. your happy with blake, but you wouldnt be happy with nate other then for the sex. try to spice up your sex life with blake maybe? good luck.
14/f
today -> one month anniversary
we haven't kissed yet
we're both SUPER shy
i want him to kiss me and i'm pretty sure he wants to kiss me too but who should make the first move??????????????????????????
we're in the same class but we keep out relationship one the DOWN LOW so we can't really be like i love you blah blah blah in front of other people
we hardly talk in class cause we're SHYYY
how do i start talking to him or flirt or something cause i don't really know him that much but i'm hoping i can so that i wont be shy around him??????????????????????????
So .. any advice? Thanks in advance.
aww. This is exactly like my new boyfriend and i. We are both soo shy around each other. I FINALLY hugged him today. Hang out with eachother this weekend and YOU make the first move. It will be easy once you get started. Boys like it when you make the first move :)
ive been with this guy for about a month and a half and its been really great and everything. valentines day is coming up and i never had a boyfriend around this time so do i have to get him something and is so what are some good ideas??
thanks so much
:) Congrats on 1 month.
-cologne
-chocolate
-pictures of you & him framed
-a CD of his favorite songs
-teddy bear
happy valentines day :)
MY question is just basically what age do most teenagers have their first kiss? And what age do they get their first boyfriend? I'm fom a respectable family and I don't want to spoil my fam's name..but I really want to have a boyfriend BTW i'm 15/f.
My mum had her first bf like 18 or 19! And this is kinda weird...but I don't think I can't wait that long cause I mean most people i know have haad a bf and a first kiss! Please answer!!
Distressed!
If you feel you are ready, go for it! I'm 13 and I had a boyfriend when I was like 10 and 11. I think you're past ready to have your first kiss if your 15, because I'm 13 and have done more then kiss.
Should I kiss on the first date?
If you feel like you and the person really hit it off, then yes. If you don't feel a connection, then don't kiss just to kiss.
well i kinda like this guy.. but the thing is my friend amanda and my friend kristen both like him. They dont know that i like him. Amanda thinks that this guy likes her and so do me and kristen. Kristen is really upset cause shes liked him for a while now. Two of my other friends like him. should i even both... cause i like him but it would be aqward if we were going out and than we were hanging out with them cause i would know that thier jelous. Im not even saying that he would even want to go out with me... i dont know what to do..
Hoe's before Bro's :) Drop the boy. Make a pact with your friends that you don't want anything to come between your friendship, especially a guy. If one you goes out with him, you will hate eachother. In the end, when whoever goes out with him breaks up, she'll want her friends back, but she won't have them because they ditched you because you ditched them for the guy. Tell them that. :)
14/f In my town, there is a "nightclub" for teenagers to go to where people basically only grind and hook up all night. I've been there a few times, but I just do not understand how I can hook up with someone. Normally, I will just grind and then after the song is over walk away/grind with someone else. I really want to hook up with somebody, so how could I do it? Do you just turn around while grinding? Also, what if they don't want to hook up, then that is so embarassing! I would like any aadvice on how to hook up (with random strangers) while at a louuuud party/while grinding? Like is there a way you can let them know you want to hook up?
ANY ADVICE IS SOOO APPRECIATED!!
I think thats gross. You want to hook up with somebody you don't know? If you really want to do this, (although I reccomend you don't...) Then say, wanna hook up? I'm sure any drunk guy will do it with you.
~~~~EDIT~~~~
look, princess. just because you don't want people telling you that hooking up with randoms guys is slutty, doesn't mean you should rate us badly. it's the truth, and you can't deny it.
I have a boyfriend who I love very much & we are long distance now. One of his ex's invited him to a dance which was last night. I let him to because I want him to have a life too & I was fine with them going as just friends. Well, after the dance, he calls me & complains about what a bad date she was & how when we went it was a lot better & told the girl to never speak to him again. Then he tells me they kissed on the cheek... I was ok with that, it's not like there was any passion in a cheek kiss. Well a few minutes later he calls & tells me that she kissed him... on the lips & that it "just happened". I don't know what to do... he came forward & told me (I wouldn't have found out any other way) & he swore it wouldn't happen again. He stayed up all night & apologized sincerely.(the tears & all.) I want to forgive & forget but how do I make sure that he knows he won't get away with this again? thanks for reading, thanks for answering.
Aw, first of all, I'm sorry you have to deal with a long distance relationship. It is very nice of you to let him go to the dance with another girl too, haha I'm way more controlling then that. Usually I would say screw him. But..if he apologized all night long, and said it wouldn't happen again, I know it sounds bad, but I would give him another chance. Try to forget about it and tell him that if it EVER happens again, you are over. Because you shouldn't have to deal with that.
Ok...im 14/f...
Me && my boyfriend have been going out for 4 monthes... I've been told that it sounds like he is controling me or whatever...
I really like/love him...but could it be he is...
When ever we get in a fight and I tell one of my friends (because i need someone to help me before i end up hurtin myself or something) well he gets mad and yells at me... Or my friend will say something to him and then he tells me to tell them to stop talking to him...
it makes me feel (excuse my language) shitty!!!
he makes me feel like it is always my fault we get in fights! And he bugs me by sayin boys names he thinks i like... i could do the same to him but i dont because we would end up fighting more...
What do I do?? (I want to be with him...)
Please help me!!
I am this exact way with my boyfriend, but I've changed. He tells me I am controlling, and I know I was. It's really hard to have a relationship if one of the people think they like other people. You really can't do anything in this situation if you're not the one who is controlling, sorry. Just stay away from any of the boys he names, assure him that everything is okay. I hope it all works out.
13/f.
So I had been dating this guy for about 3 weeks, and I mean I REALLY liked him. I don't know if its because he was my first boyfriend in a year, since my last one moved, or what. But he was great, he would call me on the phone, and would talk to me forever. And he'd text me. When his phone broke he used his friends, everything. But I've never kissed a guy. (I'm a little embarassed by that, but I've always pictured my first kiss as something really romantic.) Anyway, when his friends were over at his house he'd call me, and say really perverted things, that totally disgusted me. (i.e. "When are we gonna bang") And I felt uncomfortable talking about things like that, so I would say something like "awkwardddd" or "kind of uncomfortable right now" and such. Well we got each other Christmas gifts, and he loved his, and I adored mine. (We exchanged at school, about a week or two from Christmas) Well 3 days before Christmas, he hadn't called all Christmas break and hadn't been replying to my texts. So I was just telling myself "He's at his families and forgot his phone" or something to ease my mind. Well 3 days before Christmas, he got lindsey to call me and say he just wanted to be friends. I heard the voicemail. And I didn't believe it, so I texted him. He said it was true. No reason why, I mean I would have settled for "I'm not attracted to you anymore." So, I tried to get over him. Its now February and I think I still like him, but I don't WANT to like him. I'm currently talking to this other guy, who's amazing, and I'd really rather be with this guy, than Joseph. But I need to stop this attraction. I'm fine as long as I don't see him. But when I do, its like I'm in love. Is this because of my harmones or something?!
Thanks
It seems like you really liked this guy, but he was a jerk. Any guy is a jerk if they don't have a GOOD reason for dumping you. If you're talking to another guy and you'd really rather be with him, then get to know him better. Get him to ask you out. Once you start kissing the new guy, you'll get more attracted to him. That's weird...my boyfriend's name is Joseph :) haha
Theres this girl i've liked for about 2 years now. i'm 13 and she's turning 15 in march. i really like her and i think she likes me but i don't know what to do. i keep asking her if she would ever like me but she keeps saying i don't know. what should i do? thanks.
You say she likes you, but you keep asking her if she would ever like you and she says I don't know? She's afraid to make a commitment with a younger guy. She probably likes you, but is afraid to show it because it would leave you on. Give her some space for now, and then later when you two get closer try to ask her again. I hope it works out !!
there's this guy who lives like right near me. And i knew from the first moment that he liked me. lets call him 'L'. I dont like him that way..i really like another guy who happens to be his friend too but he doesnt live near me. I'll call him 'J'. Anyway a girlfriend of mine confided in me that she likes 'L'. i thought that was fine because i dont even like him and ive known it for ages. anyways last night i think i led him on too much and didnt mean to and we ended up kissing and now we're going out. I feel so bad...i dont even really like him, he's like my best friend and he's great but i dont think im doing the right thing by myself, my best girlfriend, 'L', or 'J' for that matter. omg, what am i doing? please help me i dont want to hurt anyone.
Stop going out with L. Leading people on is bad, especially if you knew from the minute he liked you. Your friend is going to be mad if you don't. Tell her it was all a big misunderstanding, and you're sorry. Also, J will think he doesn't have a chance if you have another boy. Hang out with J more, and try to convince L to go for you friend. I hope it all works out :)
how do i get a guy to like me more so he can ask me out for a valentines dance? now im already like kinda his friend now.. not really, but more like friendly acquantances? lol actually its two guys but i dunno who to choose. one of them like stood up for me once when some retard kid made fun of me, and etc, and the second I guess I'm more of friends with.. but hes also kinda stubborn. and they're both REALLY HOTT!
13/f
I'd go for the guy you know less, the one who stood up for you. He seems nice, and he must have thought something about you that is good if he stood up for you. Talk to him, ask him to hang out maybe. Don't be shy, if you screw up with one guy, there's always the other one :) I hope they ask you!
what is a girl that is 13 and b/f is 15 supost to get him for v-day?
i was thinking gift card to his fav. store and like some chocolates
good idea or no?
thanx
I am 13, my boyfriend is 13 also. I'm getting him colonge and chocolates. So yes, I think that is a good idea. Good luck!!
okay well i had this boyfriend "dave" and we went out for a month & it wasnt really serious, we didnt really hang out much or anything but we've known eachother for seven years. After we broke up he wanted me back & i really didnt want him then. but then he found a new girl & shes kinda a slut so they've done more than we did.
after tehy started going out i relized i had feelings for him & i tried telling him & said he liked me too. they broke up & he still wouldnt go out with me.. they went out again and now hes a jerk to me but i still like him a lot. A week or two ago he said that we would probobly end up going out again in the future & sometimes he IMes me with stupid song lyrics & i act like i dont care about him.. is that the right thing to do? & how can i get over him? hes the only one i feel comfortable with & hes all i think about. they've been going out for three months too. i feel like a loser but ik i can find someone else i just dont want to.
thanks for ur help,
14/f
You were okay when he didn't have another girl, because you knew he was still attatched to you. But now, he has a girlfriend and you've become jealous. You can't do that. If he's all you think about and he's the only one you feel comfortable with, then I'd say you want him back. When he iMs you will silly song lyrics, don't act like you don't care! Show him that you do care, and then maybe he'll want you back too. You guys have known each other for seven years, you don't want your relationship to end, even if that means just being friends. You have to understand that you can't be jealous if he has another girlfriend. Do you WANT to get over him? Or do you want him? That's what you have to ask yourself. Good Luck!!
Hi im 14 male,i was wondering,how old would most parents say you should be before your girlfriend could sleep over,like in the same room/same bed.I know some parents are strict, but what would most parents say is old enough?
Thanks,
Please Anwser
and its not to have sex...its just to cuddle with eachother and to kiss eachother goodnight..
My parents used to allow my boyfriend to hang out in my room with me with the door closed, and then they got suspicious because it was so quiet so they made me open the door. Then, my brother walked in on me and him making on laying down on my bed, and now they don't let him and me in my room even with the door open. Your lucky if your girlfriend can even come in your room. My parents let him sleep over at my house on New Years Eve, because they were too drunk to take him home. He slept in a different room, but I went into his bed at 6 AM to sleep with him. I'd say eighteen, but if your parents are strict maybe earlier. :)
so i have a boyfriend that i've been dating for 3 weeks since yesterday
but i knew him for a really long time before that and we liked eachother for most of it
and everything was great in the beginning
like he was a biiiig sweetheart
and always told me he loved me and everything
and then recently he seems all weird
like i kind of bug him all the time
but i dont know how i could i havent changed the way i talk to him or anything like that
he barely tells me he loves me anymore
or gives me as many kisses that he used to
and im afraid i might be losing him
hes not one of those people that you can just talk to about something like this
and i love him and all but things are getting weird
any help i can get is amazing
14/f
Maybe something is happening with his friends or his family, and he just hasn't been concentrating on being the best boyfriend anymore. The most you can do is talk to him about it and try to get it out of him what is wrong. If you don't communicate then it will end. This is exactly how me and my boyfriend are now. He used to be really nice and sweet, and lately it's been different. His parents recently got a divorce and he moved and things are tough for him. Maybe your boyfriend wants more time with his friends, or something like that. Don't push the relationship. Trust me, it won't work out in the end for you if you do.
Ok this girl I know I've started to talk to her a lot, and i can tell she likes me and i like her too, even my friends think she likes me. But like I asked her to a dance like 3 months ago and she said no, but it was totally random kind of because I hadn't even talked to her in like a year or two. But now i talked to her for like 2 hours a day on aim/phone, i would at scool, but she doesnt go to my scool nemore. So like i donno wat i should do, like ask her out again, or i was thinking to jus go 2 a movie and do stuff wit her and hang then ask... if u hav ne ideas tell me, or jus othr advice on how to help me ask her out and get her to like me more.
Go out with her first. If she seems like she really likes you, then ask her if she'd like to be your girlfriend. Her saying no to the dance was probably just something that had to do with the dance. Maybe she didn't want to go, maybe she had to be somewhere else. It seems like she likes you and you like her, so I hope everything works out :)
This is basically a disaster waiting to happen...but it could be fun. I'm going on a snowboarding trip in a few days, and theres about 4 guys going and i'm the only girl besides the girl leader. and well, one of the guys likes me. soooo awkward. i definitely don't like him, but i've started liking his best friend, who is also going. i haven't told anyone about it b/c i want to avoid drama. but everyone says the second guy likes me too, so my question is: if he does like me and tries to make a move, what should i do? or should i maybe act on it? i'm definitely not going to tell him i like him, but should i flirt more? he and i already flirt like mad crazy...
The guy that likes you that you don't like is going to have to get over the fact that you have no feelings for him. As for the other guy, you have to tell him you like him if you want things to progress with you two, right? If you already flirt like mad crazy then boyfriend & girlfriend is the next step. He likes you, you like him. There's no problem there :)
15/f
Alright, so in the middle of summer, I started going out with my brother's best friend Dean. I've known him and his twin brother Ross since I was a very little girl.
We went out for over a month a a half and during that month and a half, it was the first time I've been happy(I come from abuse, rape, etc.) But for two weeks, he didn't talk to me, or visit me, or anything. He had football practice everyday for three hours during the afternoon, and he just blew me off, but since I was so happy with him, I didn't ask about it.
The day after we started talking again, we hung out and ended up sleeping together. Then that Saturday, five days later, he broke up with me, claiming he needed to focus on school. But I found out, that he used me. He said this "den we got the dark haired freshman i did shit wit her den after that every thing got all weird and i ended it and she knew about the last 2 relationships and idk if i really loved her now that i look back on it. she could have been a rebound girl and i didnt even relize it which makes me feel bad cuz i dont want to have rebound girls anddat means i used which is REALLY bad." Then he went out with my best friend Marcy and planned on using her for sex as well, but she found out and dumped him. And he lead me on for over a month.
I talk to him on and off. It's hard for me not to. I hate him for the crap he's put me through. And we get into a lot of fights. His twin brother told me not to talk to him because he'll just hurt me again. We got into an argument last night and aren't talking because he took my mp3 player and refused to give it back. I got it back today and there were voice recordings on it the first one was "Kaylee is a whoreeee" and the second one I couldn't understand and the third one he was just rambling on.
Now before I ask this, even though he put me through hell, he's helped me a lot too. There's a lot of crap going on and he always helps me and gives me the perfect advice. What I'm saying is, he's a good friend to a certain extent, just horrible at love and crap. He helped me through a lot of crap that he did keep to himself. But at the same time, he took my virginity and used me for sex. Should I continue being friends with him or is he even worth it?
He doesn't seem like an OK guy. If you really really want to be friends with him, then I guess you should be. But don't get romantically involved with him again. He hurts girls for wrong reasons and uses them for sex? That's not OK. I personally don't think he's worth it. Fighting is apart of any relationship, but if you do it a lot, then there is a problem. I'm really sorry this happened to you.