about

My name is Kendall. I've had different advice columns before, and this is my new one. I'm good at giving advice, I'm always who my friends come to for help. I'm not here for ratings, I'm here to give people help with their problems. Just because I don't say what you want to hear doesn't mean you should rate me low, or leave rude feedback. The truth can't always be sugarcoated, because thats how life is. I specalize in friends, relationships, and style. I like when people ask questions to my Inbox. Thanks :)

advice

19/F
Ok this seems long and soap-opera-ish but please bear with me. I’ve gotten rid of some of the details to make it shorter but please tell me if it isn’t clear enough. And please don't rant at me about being a cheating b**** or anything. I know I am a bad bad person. I just need you to tell me what to do.
Nate has always been the typical "rich bad boy" type. He gets a pack mentality when he is with his boys so he’s labeled an official ***hole. He's had a pretty bad past and when you get him alone, he’s different. He and I go a few years back when I wasn't into the party scene, and it got around that he "wanted" me. I shot that down and he gave up. I've been intrigued by him (i.e. had a crush on him) and we always used to exchange looks all the time at school and parties and I could feel the sizzles (but wasn’t sure it was mutual). Only last year did we start talking a bit inside and outside school. Then I finished school and didn’t see him.
In May, I met Blake. He’s ridiculously good-looking, the sweetest guy ever, and a cook. I didn’t think he was into me so I backed off then recently, Blake started showing interest in me and I was thrilled. We were perfect for each other, our life goals and views were the same, we had minor arguments sometimes, which ended with practically no resentment on either end, and we always made up quickly. It was the perfect relationship. I was still a virgin but he understood because he had only been with one chick (his year-long girlfriend in grade 11).
End of last year, Nate and I ended up at a party together. I was hammered out of my mind and we had sex in a bedroom. It was harsh to the point that he did it, shoved me away and left. I was broken after. Eventually, I told Blake and he was mostly sad for me and he did whatever he could to make me feel better. Including sex and it was just like the rest of our relationship, comfortable.
Then one day, Nate showed up at my house after I saw him at the mall and went home all shaken up. We had sex. We have had sex about five times now altogether. Usually it’s when I’m vunerable. It’s pretty much casual sex but it is explosive as in really really hot, stuff I thought didn’t exist outside novels. Blake and I haven’t even come close, even though there is some sizzle, it isn’t comparable. Told Blake once and he was mad but he came back and told me he’d still have me and he didn’t understand. Usually Nate just has sex with me and sticks around for a while and leaves but one time, he actually stayed after and kissed my face and stuff.
This is what confuses me. Blake and I are perfect for each other and it’s not a completely devoid of sexual drive either but when I’m with Nate, it feels right like it’s exactly where I belong.
I’m just so afraid of hurting Blake. I want to stay with him but at the same time, I feel like puking when I think about what a disgusting unfaithful slut I’m being. And I’m pretty sure Nate doesn’t want a relationship. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t want to look back twenty years from now and regret it. I know that bad boy’s can’t be tamed but I know his history and I kind of still ache for Nate but Blake is just perfect.
Help?

look, i really think even though you crave nate, you should date blake. he seems like such a better person, and a great boyfriend. your happy with blake, but you wouldnt be happy with nate other then for the sex. try to spice up your sex life with blake maybe? good luck.

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14/f

today -> one month anniversary
we haven't kissed yet
we're both SUPER shy
i want him to kiss me and i'm pretty sure he wants to kiss me too but who should make the first move??????????????????????????
we're in the same class but we keep out relationship one the DOWN LOW so we can't really be like i love you blah blah blah in front of other people
we hardly talk in class cause we're SHYYY
how do i start talking to him or flirt or something cause i don't really know him that much but i'm hoping i can so that i wont be shy around him??????????????????????????
So .. any advice? Thanks in advance.

aww. This is exactly like my new boyfriend and i. We are both soo shy around each other. I FINALLY hugged him today. Hang out with eachother this weekend and YOU make the first move. It will be easy once you get started. Boys like it when you make the first move :)

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I had sex a few days ago, and now I think I might have a urinary tract infection or something of that sort. Do the two go together or could this be something else? It burns a little when I pee, but nothing else seems to be wrong and I'm just worried.

Don't worry about it. I don't think it's that serious. Sex hurts, and the pain continues after. If it starts burning more and more, I'd consider seeing a doctor.

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ive been with this guy for about a month and a half and its been really great and everything. valentines day is coming up and i never had a boyfriend around this time so do i have to get him something and is so what are some good ideas??

thanks so much

:) Congrats on 1 month.

-cologne
-chocolate
-pictures of you & him framed
-a CD of his favorite songs
-teddy bear

happy valentines day :)

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how do i get glue off my hands?

Put soap on them and wash them...?

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MY question is just basically what age do most teenagers have their first kiss? And what age do they get their first boyfriend? I'm fom a respectable family and I don't want to spoil my fam's name..but I really want to have a boyfriend BTW i'm 15/f.

My mum had her first bf like 18 or 19! And this is kinda weird...but I don't think I can't wait that long cause I mean most people i know have haad a bf and a first kiss! Please answer!!



Distressed!

If you feel you are ready, go for it! I'm 13 and I had a boyfriend when I was like 10 and 11. I think you're past ready to have your first kiss if your 15, because I'm 13 and have done more then kiss.

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she said she was leaving and i wat to go do i beg her or what and sha calld my granny and she said no to .

...Go where? This question barely makes any sense. From what I can tell they don't want you to go, so leave the situation alone. You're not going...

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Well I'm not sure and I mean I'm Really not sure if I like my guy friend as a close friend like a brother or as a boyfriend. What are some signs or things that tell I probably like a guy as a more than a friend and as just a friend?

-flirting
-touching of any kind
-iM, talk on phone, text, a lot
-if he does any of the above
-if you have ever talked about liking each other


please, i'm warning you. don't screw up your friendship. going out with him could change everything. don't make that mistake unless you are positive it will work out.

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How do u add a song to your myspace profile???

Type this into your address bar.

www.myspace.com/
after the / write whatever artist you want. you can then find the song on the page, and click the ADD button.
OR
at the top of your page there is a MUSIC link. click on that and you can search for different artists or the song name. then, you click on the page and find the song you want. click the ADD button.

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Should I kiss on the first date?

If you feel like you and the person really hit it off, then yes. If you don't feel a connection, then don't kiss just to kiss.

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13/f

what are some signs that you are about to have your period???
(I'm not talking about your very 1st period. just any regular period)

-mood changes
-cramps
-clear or light brown discharge
-tender breasts
-aching bones
-headache

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I'm wondering what color I should dye my hair. I dyed my hair black about 4 months ago. My original color is dark brown and my skin is like caramel. My hair goes a little past half of my back. I'm thinking I want to dye my hair like a light light brown so that it looks almost orangy, or like a deep red, its kind of reddish purplish. Tell me what you think. What other colors could I dye my hair ?

I think if you dyed your hair a little darker so that it compliments your skin tone, it would look nice. If you wanted a little more then that, you could get highlights that are light light brown. That would be cute :)

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okay so my bestfriend got this bf who she has been dating for awhile now and im really happy for her. But i just feel like she is always with him. she sees him every weekend bc he doesnt got to our school. she will ask if i wanna hangout with her but i dont want to bc her bf is there and it would feel weird help plzz

If you really want to hang out with her, then go with her when she hangs out with her boyfriend. Tell her if things get weird. If she's really your friend, she'll understand. Try to hang out during the week maybe, after school.:)

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I really feel very hopeless. I hate it whenever I meet up with difficulties in life. I just wanna give up and watch the world go by. I don't understand life. I don't understand how people can pick themselves up. I'm in depression right now and I'm just sinking deeper and deeper. People say that things can only get better but it doesn't. Life sucks. I feel like just dying and quiting from this race against time to get things done. Someone just answer , help me to feel better. People, try to give me as many replies as possible. I'd highly appreciate it.

Life gets to you sometimes like this. You just have to remember that there is at least one person in the whole world that loves you, that is thinking about you, and that cares about you. Talk to people, get out more, don't sit in your room with your door locked listening to sad music while thinking about how pathetic you are. Try to think on the positive side. If this doesn't work, I'd see professional help.

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well i kinda like this guy.. but the thing is my friend amanda and my friend kristen both like him. They dont know that i like him. Amanda thinks that this guy likes her and so do me and kristen. Kristen is really upset cause shes liked him for a while now. Two of my other friends like him. should i even both... cause i like him but it would be aqward if we were going out and than we were hanging out with them cause i would know that thier jelous. Im not even saying that he would even want to go out with me... i dont know what to do..

Hoe's before Bro's :) Drop the boy. Make a pact with your friends that you don't want anything to come between your friendship, especially a guy. If one you goes out with him, you will hate eachother. In the end, when whoever goes out with him breaks up, she'll want her friends back, but she won't have them because they ditched you because you ditched them for the guy. Tell them that. :)

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14/f In my town, there is a "nightclub" for teenagers to go to where people basically only grind and hook up all night. I've been there a few times, but I just do not understand how I can hook up with someone. Normally, I will just grind and then after the song is over walk away/grind with someone else. I really want to hook up with somebody, so how could I do it? Do you just turn around while grinding? Also, what if they don't want to hook up, then that is so embarassing! I would like any aadvice on how to hook up (with random strangers) while at a louuuud party/while grinding? Like is there a way you can let them know you want to hook up?

ANY ADVICE IS SOOO APPRECIATED!!

I think thats gross. You want to hook up with somebody you don't know? If you really want to do this, (although I reccomend you don't...) Then say, wanna hook up? I'm sure any drunk guy will do it with you.

~~~~EDIT~~~~
look, princess. just because you don't want people telling you that hooking up with randoms guys is slutty, doesn't mean you should rate us badly. it's the truth, and you can't deny it.

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Ive got a friend, shes a girl, we were introduced by a mutual friend and pretty much hit things off right away, although at the time we were both interested in other ppl, we still got close and shared the feelings we had for eachother, but in the end decided that because of the 2 year age gap and because she lives so far away that we wouldnt date, unfortunitly the relationship i had didnt work out (supposedly because i was still "hung up" on this other girl). but fortunitly for my friend her relationship took off, and is now happy...i believe she knows that im still into her, even if shes no longer onto me, but would it be good of me as a friend to make it clear to her that i still have these feelings? or remain heartbroken over the fact that i cant have her?

I would tell her how you feel. If you admit to her that and she turns you down, then you know you can't have her and I would give up. But try one more time, and see what happens. Let me know :)

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I've known my friend since third grade and we werent always close friends, but since 6th grade we became best friends. In seventh grade I stopped being her friend for few months and I felt relieved, but at the same time I saw that she seemed like a good person and someone who I could be friends with, so we became friends again. Toward the end of seventh she drove me nuts but at the same time I still liked her. Things have been the same ever since then. Sometimes I cant stand her and dont know why I'm her friend and then 5 minutes later we're okay and I know that she is a good person. Almost everyone who knows her can't stand her and sometimes I definitely understand why, but then again she can be a good person and also she kind of has a hard life. The person she turns to for advice and just to listen is me and I try to help her, but seeing how apart of me cant stand her I would feel bad not being her friend, because I'm basically her only friend. Then again, she can be a real BEEP sometimes. There are these girls who are mean to her and she always says she will say something to them, which she really needs to and she never does, so I try to give her advice and tell her to stick up for herself and she flips out on me and cusses me out. So then I flip out on her and say why are you cussing me out when you should be doing that to them, because I'm the one thats your friend, not them. Our friendship is crazy, because I dont like her, but it's like the other half of me does, but one side can take over so quickly and then go away even quicker. Should I be her friend or not ? And if I do be her friend, what should I say to her,because things have to change.

I don't think you should be her friend. She seems like she has a few issues, and it's hard to deal with that. Unless you are really afraid to lose the good side of her, then I'd stop being her friend. I wouldn't want to deal with all of that either.

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I have a boyfriend who I love very much & we are long distance now. One of his ex's invited him to a dance which was last night. I let him to because I want him to have a life too & I was fine with them going as just friends. Well, after the dance, he calls me & complains about what a bad date she was & how when we went it was a lot better & told the girl to never speak to him again. Then he tells me they kissed on the cheek... I was ok with that, it's not like there was any passion in a cheek kiss. Well a few minutes later he calls & tells me that she kissed him... on the lips & that it "just happened". I don't know what to do... he came forward & told me (I wouldn't have found out any other way) & he swore it wouldn't happen again. He stayed up all night & apologized sincerely.(the tears & all.) I want to forgive & forget but how do I make sure that he knows he won't get away with this again? thanks for reading, thanks for answering.

Aw, first of all, I'm sorry you have to deal with a long distance relationship. It is very nice of you to let him go to the dance with another girl too, haha I'm way more controlling then that. Usually I would say screw him. But..if he apologized all night long, and said it wouldn't happen again, I know it sounds bad, but I would give him another chance. Try to forget about it and tell him that if it EVER happens again, you are over. Because you shouldn't have to deal with that.

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Today I bought a Paul Mitchell hair straightener..and I was wondering if it was better than the Chi? I have had two Chi's and I took care of each one. However, they stopped working after like a year or so. If anyone else has a Paul Mitchell hair straightener, could you tell me your experience with it? Also, the Chi had a reset button incase it wouldn't turn on..but the Paul Mitchell doesn't. What if it stops working..and I can't reset it? I bought it today at Trade Secret and it was $135. I was going to buy another Chi, but the salesperson encouraged me to get the Paul Mitchell. I can still EXCHANGE it within 30 days. Advice and opinions, please.

Chi is better in my opinion. Paul Mitchell is alright, but I'd exchange it for the Chi.

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