Howdy...Lyra and Bryn speaking.
We are simply here to help you with your love life...since we know from experince where we have gone wrong and even sometimes right. So feel free to ask us any questions.
Gender: Female
Member Since: September 20, 2005
Answers: 31
Last Update: July 13, 2006
Visitors: 4395
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Okay, i dont usually do this, but i cant trust my friends with this one. I have a boyfriend who ive been dating for 13 months. in the last four months, ive started to fall for a guy i work with and have been working with for two years, we are jokingly refered to as the work couple. lately my boyfriend and i have been fighting a lot, and i spend more time at work (im working full time this summer) i dont think that i will be truly happy with either relationship, but the situation im in right now isnt appealing either. i feel like im losing interest in my boyfriend, yet i love him just as much.
what do i do? (link)
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Hun, if your feelings are wavering with your boyfriend and you are at least 100% to 90% in like or in love with him, then get out. If you don't get out now the attactment will become stronger for him and you will shatter his heart even more. But if you were to break up with him, DON'T date your friend at work right away. That would be the worst. Don't have your boyfriend think that you left him for another guy! And just take some time on figuring out what you feel for this work guy, there is no need to rush. Stay single for awhile, everyone knows it can be quite fun!
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Okay I was with the guy for over a year. On and off. And this is our third try. I'm pretty sure he liked some other chick.. but couldn't get with her and then asked me out. I feel stupid and yeah.. I don't know what to do.. because he doesn't really call me. He talks to his other friends on the phone and puts me on hold. :\ And he doesn't really show or tell me that he likes me or that he's happy with me.. or anything like that. So i really don't know what's going on. It's just.. "BYE" and I feel like he likes the other girl...and not me anymore. I don't know what to do because I'm not really sure I'm right. (link)
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You need to just ask him if you are what he wants or not. Just straight out. If he likes another girl, then obviously this romance is not right for you! You deserve better! And if you arehaving hazy feelings about him, you might as well want to get out of it because if you aren't 100% sure of what you are feeling then someone's heart is going to break.
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my boyfriend and i have gone out for a LONG time.. well, lately things have just sucked. idk like our phone conversations are boring (neither of us ever has anything to say) we ALWAYS argue and our conversations just SUCk... what can i do to spark up the relationship or keep things fun???
thanks! (link)
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Okay, hmmm. Well what is the most fun thing a teenager can do in your city? Go there with him, talk about anything that pops up in your mind (yes, that can include fuzzy slippers)or maybe spend a day just walking some trails alone in the woods together, spark some romance. Have you talked to him about how you feel? With any luck, he probably feels the same. Maybe you can make a pact not to argue about anything for a day or else you...(think of something creative that the person who started the argument has to do for the other). And just relax and have fun, no need to worry. You both are young and have your whole lives ahead of you!
-Megan
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16/f
i've never had a real relationship. im not fat, or ugly. i have a lot of friends but i can't seem to find a guy for me. every time i meet one, they sweet talk, and i fall for them and they get what they want out of me and then leave me. i fall for it everytime and i hate it because i am a mess because of it. i started doing really stupid things because im getting depressed. i hate that fact that i did that and im changing. but im still depressed. will i ever find someone for me? it seems all of my friends have found their special someone. whats wrong with me?? i dont want to be an easy peice of ass. but i am. i dont mean to be it just happens because all they need to do is tell me im beautiful and i cant say no. im longing for someone to care for me. and anyone i trust, they betray me.
help, or anything would be greatly appreiciated.
xo (link)
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Well, I don't have much to say in help, but if it makes any difference, I'm in the same boat you are. Let's see:
First there was Ryan: Cheated on me with three other girls, but that dang sweet talk held me in.
Then there was Ian: Dated me for about two weeks until he desided to try and basically take advantage of me.
And finally there was those dang guys who just asked me out for the simple fact that they wanted some action and luckly I was smart enough to hold back.
I'd say the best advice I can give you is to follow your gut reaction about the guy. If you have any sense of dread or disapproval at all, get yourself out of there! And don't worry about meeting the right one, and I know you are probably sick of hearing this, but you have your whole life ahead of you. Men at this time of your life are nothing but hormone driven, un-romantic, jerks. (most of them atleast).
I just recently when through a stage in my life were I was super depressed too. You will get through it. Just surround yourself with friends and do whatever hobbies make you the happiest! (Mine were being outside and reading)Or an even better way is to find an outlet. Mine personally was writting in my diary or writting poetry. Maybe you could talk to a friend about it or even me! Heck, my e-mail address is amazingbewilderment13@hotmail.com. Or I've heard even exercize works! Just do whatever you can to keep your mind off of it!
Just lay back and enjoy this time of your life, you're young. If you have any other questions you know where to ask.
-Megan
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Recently, the guy that I really liked told me that he felt the same way too. Right now we are getting to know each other by talking to each other. He keeps telling my friend all of this negative stuff and saying what doesn't like about me. He said that he doesn't like the fact that I'm too serious, I'm bad at giving advice, I have a low self esteem, no confidence, and I don't enjoy drinking or partying. That makes me feel like I have to change everything myself so he'll like me. so I'm really confused and I don't know what to do. (link)
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darling, i know this is a hard situation to deal with, and it feels like you should change everything about yourself just so he'll like you because you like him, right?! If that's how it feels then maybe you should rethink that because you don't want to be someone your not. When you find that special someone, he will love you for everything you are and everything your not...he won't hold it against you that he doesn't like that you are serious. It's a stressful situation, we know. but my best advice to you is to move on. Keep him as a friend, yes, but nothing more than that. I'm sorry its bad news...but goodluck.
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Well..the guy I like(who happens to live right across the street from me) is moving in about 2 months. i really like him though! should i ask him out even though hes moving(i dont believe in lost distance relationships...and hes goin 2 colorado, i live in PA) or should i just keep in touch and stay friends? (link)
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ugh...i hate these kind of problems...we went through something like it. In all honesty, we would recommend staying friends with him, but make sure you do a lot of stuff together before he leaves. And definitely keep in touch with him. This is just us, but the day he leaves, maybe you would write him a letter, explaining things, like how you feel, and whats on your mind. just to get it out of your system, so you know he knows. It feels a lot better not living with the regret of never telling him how you feel. Good Luck! cheers!
P.s. maybe kiss him, just a quick peck on the cheek or the lips (depending on how brave you feel) before he leaves. Unless you know that he would freak out because he doesn't like you because then that wouldn't be good.
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do girls like fishin because i want to ask a girl on a date and go fishing in the summer (link)
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alright...our point of view...THAT WOULD BE SO MUCH FUN! even if she doesn't like fishing, she most likely will still go because she would want to spend time alone with you. and what better way then in a boat in the middle of a lake...or whatever water source it is. Well, we think it would be a good idea, but that's us. and not all girls are like us. GOOD LUCK!
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what does it mean when during an entire duration of a conversation with a guy, he's staring straight at your lips and occasionally into your eyes? (link)
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as everybody else has said, he wants to kiss you, but he is looking into your eyes to ask for permission.
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ok what is the most romantic/creative way to get a girl's attention? and i dont want to do roses or jewelry, i want to do the only kinds of things girls dream about. any ideas? i rate high. (link)
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is this girls in general? or a specific girl? well if it's a single girl, then our advice is a date on the beach at night. just a picnic and the moon. It's way romantic, and in our minds, the most romantic thing you can do. hmm...also, write her a poem. It has to come from deep in the heart. Works wonders! Well, i guess you could do a song too. We have a friend that writes songs all the time, it's amazing what words can do to the heart. Walking downtown is fun too. just walking and holding hands and talking. It's innocent fun! (where we live, we have the old downtown with all the cool old building, and all that wonderful stuff) Also, if you do end up dating her, don't move to fast. It kind of puts girls in an akward position and they feel like they can't tell you what is on there mind and what they don't like. So just let her lead you a little more than forcing her. but we're sure you knew that ;)! Alrighty, well good luck! remember a sense of humor is a girls best friend! make her laugh! :)
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I have liked this guy for about one year now, but I really don't want to like him anymore. It has grown awkward between us lately after he found out that I like him and I just want things to go back to the way they used to be, but the problem is I can't stop liking him. Like whenever I think I'm over him he will do something that I think is cute and I will start to like him all over again. I'm just sick of it. If you guys have any advice I would be very appreciative! (link)
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Hun, I know EXACTLY what you are going through. I went through the same thing with one of my good guy friends. It's probably one of the hardest things to do in life, just to let go.
There are no steps, no actions to take to make it happen. There is no process to get over him. You basically have to talk yourself through every day, reminding yourself of the bad thing (It's hard I know, but it's what us girls have to do.)
It took me THREE tries to forget the guy I liked, each time got harder to let go and you feel like you're going to burst into a million pieces, but then one day you'll wake up and the wieght of the world is lifted. It just happens.
What I hate is the fact that people tell you not to be near the guy. It just hurts more that way. You long for him and reminise about the memories. And you don't want to give up a friendship either.
So hun, the best thing to do is wait it out and eventually it will happen. It will all be over
Good luck and keep your head up. You'll do fine.
P.s. It's prefectly fine to cry yourself to sleep, or express yourself in a journal or something along those lines...don't forget about sappy music too!
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ok so im a 13 year old girl and theres this guy at my school. hes name is kyle. hes sooo cute but he can be a little , lets call it, childish. hes my best freind in the whole world but i like him more than a freind. we'v been freinds for about 2 years or so and we tell each other everything. i realy like kyle but im not sure if he likes me the same way i like him. and im to scared to talk to him about it. so what do i do?
-->mandy (link)
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mandy, i'm gonna tell you this from what i have learned in the past years of my life. if he is your best friend, you don't want to ruin your friendship with a relationship. You're 13 (and thats a wonderful age to flirt with everybody and just have a good time) but you are just starting out with this faze of boys, and it only gets harder from there. and what i have learned is that you want one of those boys to just be there for you when times get rough. and it sucks when you break up with a guy and they don't talk to you forever...you lose a piece of you because you were such good friends...it's not fun. I'm not telling you what to do, i'm just warning you that your friendship with this boy is on the line...but if you want to risk it, be my guest...but i will tell you, it's definitely not fun to lose someone you are really close to. Good luck...be careful...you're young (and that's not a bad thing) just live life.
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16/F
I'm a junior in high school so it's come to the time to make important decisions that will effect the rest of my life, including my love life. And I'm a hopeless romantic, so that's incredibly important to me. Here's my problem. I have a boyfriend of 6 months who I love, and we've talked over and over again of moving in together and getting married. I mean I love him so much! But there's also my first love. Who I think of all the time, who I'm passionately in love with!! Like you wouldn't believe! I'm dying to be with him, but he has a girlfriend too. But he always said if anything ever happened with them, he'd come down here to where I live. We live nearly 800 miles away from each other. And I know he has some sort of feelings for me to, he just never could put them into words, so he said, and he calls me all the time, and we talk of so much. We're so alike, and he's always fit my picture of a perfect man, and my idea of "the one" for me. Well, I love them both. And I know "the one" is supposed to be one of them. I know I want to be with my first love more, but the thought of hurting my boyfriend just kills me, and I can't imagine my life without him. But my first love, I can't explain how I feel for him. I'm so completely in love with this boy, it's crazy. I even made a pro/con list. And my first love had more pros than my boyfriend, and less cons than my boyfriend. Which would figure. I just need some sort of adivce of what to do, I just cant stand the thought of hurting him, but I'm dying to be with my first love. Please I need great advice! This is the rest of my life we're dealing with! Thank You So Much!
Dani (link)
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from what i've read, your love life is a lot like The Notebook (which is an awesome movie, if you haven't seen it, you have to). Two men to decide between, first love and the new "fiance"/boyfriend. You need to decide what you want. And your decision can't be dependent on anyone elses feelings or opinion. Like you said, it's your life we're dealing with, so why not live with how you want it. We'll call your first love, Noah, and your boyfriend, Lon. Like in The Notebook, Allie falls for Noah over the summer, who becomes her first love. But after the summer is over, she has to break it off with Noah because they lived too far away from each other (your 800 miles away from each other). While she is gone, she meets Lon (for you, your boyfriend). She finds herself loving him, yet there is still this piece of her that loves Noah (just like you do for your first love). Well anyway, when she finally reunites with Noah, she remembers what good memories and what a good time they had. Noah tells her that she has to decide what she wants and that nobody else counted in the relationship. She said that it didn't matter what she wanted because either way she was hurting somebody (just like you for your first love). i guess what we're trying to say is that you have to go with what you want. Everything happens for a reason, and maybe this is happening for that reason, to make you see what you really want. It's not gonna be easy, and yes, someone is gonna get hurt. But when is life ever easy. On the brightside, it sounds like you have two wonderful guys that really care about you. so i'm sure, who ever and whatever you fall for will be the best decision. Good Luck. :)
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ok well i really like this guy at my school and some of my friends think he likes me cause they say he talks about me alot and always askes who i like....i really like him but i never see him(even though he goes to my school)how would i find out how he likes me and try to make it obvious that i like him also? (link)
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well let's just say, don't make yourself too avalible because then you look desprate. And that is definitely something you don't want. guys like a challenge sometimes. You say your friends think he likes you, but you should definitely talk to his friends and get their opinion--and maybe (if you get in really good) they will do some undercover work for you. do make it obvious that you like him, flirt with him, SUBTLELY of course. you want to be a bit mysterious so that he is left wanting more. don't just drop your whole life story in his lap at once because then he'll be bored after awhile as well as overwhelmed. But for the flirting...compliment him *boys like compliments just as much as we do*, touch his arm when you're talking to him, twirl your hair, laugh, smile, bite your bottom lip and be outgoing. As some of our research goes, nothing is more sexier than a confident girl. and thats basically all the advice we can give you. and remember to be yourself. you don't want to be someone your not...it complicates things and makes it really stressful on yourself. plus, if he doesn't like you for who you are, then he's not worth it. anyways, good luck. best wishes from the both of us. :)
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13/m
Ok, well, im a tad unpopular (Guys like me, girls....not so much.) And I have a crush on this girl, shes really pretty, really nice and everything. But she is really mostly kind of charity for the reallly unpopular kids. She dances with them at dances and pretty much dedicates herself to that. Well, I told her best friend about how I liked her (what possesed me to do that, i dont know) So I have no idea how to handle this. Her friends might alienate her as people have done with others i'd liked. A while ago, but still. I cant be sure how she will react, although i suppose that keep me from doing a lot of things. (link)
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wow darlin...you got yourself in over your head. NO IM JUST KIDDING! the least she can do is say she just likes you as a friend. but now that we have that out of the way...she could really like you too. My suggestion is don't be so worried about it. Everything happens for a reason. Some people were NOT meant to be. And others were. It's funny how life works isn't it. But don't be so worrisome. It'll all work out for the best. It may not seem like it at the time but it will. Maybe she has a sister? jk jk jk! Good Luck.
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what exactly does it mean to be friends with benefits? like what is different about it than being b/f and g/f? thanks (link)
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Well being a friend with benefits can have its good sides and its bad sides. Technically you aren't really dating, but you do stuff that a couple would do. So, if he wanted to do "stuff" with you and then have a girlfriend, he could. Because he's not commited to anything, its okay (so he thinks) Its stuff for a shallow guy to do. Other times, it can mean you can have a lot of fun with this guy and yet still be single and not commited, so it depends on how you look at it. We mean to say is that we have this one guy friend, we'll call him Bob. Bob is great, he loves to flirt and do some crazy stuff with us (nothing sexual though) and yet we can go back to normal right after we do whatever it was we were doing. Like if one of us needs a boyfriend for the night, then sure, he'll be there to do it. He'll hold one of our hands and hug, like we are actually a couple, but after the fact, we will go right back to normal. So it depends all on how you look at it.
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well anyway im a sophmore guy and i like this girl. i was gonna tell her on the phone the other night but i couldnt bring myself to do it. how can i build up enough courage to tell her? i told her friend and she wants to tell her, should i let her? help! (link)
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No...you tell her. It is that plain and simple. It will mean SOOO much more to her if you tell her, and it will erase any doubts in her mind that her friend might not have gotten the information right. But what you might wanna do is have her friend find out if this girl likes you back, if so then it was make your job so much easier. And when you tell the girl, tell her in person, she will be so much more greatful for that. Just take a deep breath and let her know how your feeling, and even if she doesn't like you back like that, it won't be the end of the world because if she is a nice girl than she absolutely won't act like anything has changed. Good Luck!
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so my boyfriend who is really afectionate never calls. he used to call, but ever since we started going out he has stoped. i no he stil likes me but i feel liek i dont ahve a boyfriend because he never makes much of an effort to contact me. so anyadvice on what i shoudl do or why he is doing this.
and yes i no hes buisy, but it doesnt take much time to quickly check p on someone if u really care for them (link)
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well...let me just say, you're not the only one who is going through this problem. I think guys, when they start dating get a little confused with their emotions. For example, my guy, didn't like to talk everyday (yea...i know...i thought it was weird) but when we were friends, he had no problems talking everyday. I think guys really need a break every once in awhile, and talking to their gf on the phone is away to get away from them physically but not verbally. So, what i would do is not call him and let him just have his time. Eventually he will come around and realize that he misses talking to you on the phone. Good Luck
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hey im 13 and a female. i was wondering do online relationships work?
**sleepiesheep** (link)
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DEFINITELY NOT! ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'RE 13! Sorry chicky, but they don't!
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Alright I'm 15 and I'm a male. My girlfriends birthday is comming up really soon & she won't tell me what she wants for her birthday. I have no idea what I should get her. She's going to be 14. If anyone can give me some ideas it'd be greatly appreciated. I'll rate you on it too. I really need some help. Thanks (link)
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jewlery is the best way to go. Don't get too expensive though because you don't want her getting the wrong idea. But we would go for the jewlery. Earing, necklace, bracelets, don't go with the ring...sends out the wrong vibe. good luck.
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i broke up with my boyfriend of 9 months a few months ago...lately ive been hanging out with him alot and ive reely started liking him agian but every time he ends up liking one of my best friends...i wana know if i should tell him and risk him liking one of my best friends agan or just keep it my secret?
hope you can help me mucho love (link)
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Well, welcome to the life of Megan and Erika. Good news is, you will come out alive, with an achy heart though. First thing is, BE YOURSELF! don't be someone you're not just for him. everything gets all screwed up if everything is something totally differnet than who you are. If he doesn't like you for who you are, then its not meant to be. Second of all, if this girl is really your best friend, then you should definitely talk to her about it. She should understand where you are coming from if she is your best friend (at least thats what we did). Thirdly, evaluate how much you really like him and how far you are willing to go for him. Sometimes risking it all is worth the fall, but other times not. Either he will catch you at the bottom, or he will watch you splat on the ground. And when it comes to telling him, there are two things you can do. Megan, didn't get him, but also didn't tell him. Erika, told him, and ended up getting him and only lasted for two months. But not all guys are like the one we liked. Some like the hard to get girls. So its up to you and what you know about him. Just remember, don't get too clingy, most guys don't like it (take it from the experienced ones) Good Luck sweetie!
P.s. Guys like it when you play hard to get. Its a challenge and most like it.
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