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2 Important Relationships -- Can't Decide...
16/F
I'm a junior in high school so it's come to the time to make important decisions that will effect the rest of my life, including my love life. And I'm a hopeless romantic, so that's incredibly important to me. Here's my problem. I have a boyfriend of 6 months who I love, and we've talked over and over again of moving in together and getting married. I mean I love him so much! But there's also my first love. Who I think of all the time, who I'm passionately in love with!! Like you wouldn't believe! I'm dying to be with him, but he has a girlfriend too. But he always said if anything ever happened with them, he'd come down here to where I live. We live nearly 800 miles away from each other. And I know he has some sort of feelings for me to, he just never could put them into words, so he said, and he calls me all the time, and we talk of so much. We're so alike, and he's always fit my picture of a perfect man, and my idea of "the one" for me. Well, I love them both. And I know "the one" is supposed to be one of them. I know I want to be with my first love more, but the thought of hurting my boyfriend just kills me, and I can't imagine my life without him. But my first love, I can't explain how I feel for him. I'm so completely in love with this boy, it's crazy. I even made a pro/con list. And my first love had more pros than my boyfriend, and less cons than my boyfriend. Which would figure. I just need some sort of adivce of what to do, I just cant stand the thought of hurting him, but I'm dying to be with my first love. Please I need great advice! This is the rest of my life we're dealing with! Thank You So Much!
Dani
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from what i've read, your love life is a lot like The Notebook (which is an awesome movie, if you haven't seen it, you have to). Two men to decide between, first love and the new "fiance"/boyfriend. You need to decide what you want. And your decision can't be dependent on anyone elses feelings or opinion. Like you said, it's your life we're dealing with, so why not live with how you want it. We'll call your first love, Noah, and your boyfriend, Lon. Like in The Notebook, Allie falls for Noah over the summer, who becomes her first love. But after the summer is over, she has to break it off with Noah because they lived too far away from each other (your 800 miles away from each other). While she is gone, she meets Lon (for you, your boyfriend). She finds herself loving him, yet there is still this piece of her that loves Noah (just like you do for your first love). Well anyway, when she finally reunites with Noah, she remembers what good memories and what a good time they had. Noah tells her that she has to decide what she wants and that nobody else counted in the relationship. She said that it didn't matter what she wanted because either way she was hurting somebody (just like you for your first love). i guess what we're trying to say is that you have to go with what you want. Everything happens for a reason, and maybe this is happening for that reason, to make you see what you really want. It's not gonna be easy, and yes, someone is gonna get hurt. But when is life ever easy. On the brightside, it sounds like you have two wonderful guys that really care about you. so i'm sure, who ever and whatever you fall for will be the best decision. Good Luck. :)
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Somewhere in your heart and in your mind you have already made your decision. Which is to be with your first love. But he has a girlfriend and there is nothing you can do to change that. So you have to be patient with him. In the meantime don't go rushing out and getting an apartment with the one you are with now or getting married to him. But there is something else you also need to think about. I know in some way and some amount you do love the one you are with now. But since you think about your first love so much, truly want to be with him and feel that he is more the one for you than your current boyfriend is... I think you need to seriously think about why you are with your current boyfriend. As it stands you are being dishonest to him by loving another guy more than him and being IN love with the other guy. Put yourself in his shoes for a minute. How would you feel if you were dating someone for months and all of a sudden you find out the whole time you were together, you never had all of their love or never had their whole heart because their love and heart was for someone else? I know you love your current boyfriend and you don't want to loose him but at the same time you are being dishonest to him and not being fair to either one of you. So take some time to sit down and seriously think about all of this and I hope you find the answer you need. Hugs Fiesty
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