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13/f

ok well theres this guy and he used to like me a lot but at the time i was goin out with this other guy. The problem was was that i really liked both of them and i didnt want to hurt my current boyfriends feelings soo i just stayed with him. but still really liked the other guy. Since i stayed with aaron and didnt go out with brandon he got aggervated and well kinda moved on and is now going out with this girl that is like 3 years older than him. im still goin out with aaron but i still like seriously really like brandon but then i still like aaron, brndon has told my friends that he doesnt like me nymore and is not breakin up with mogan. im am really hurt and letting myself feel really stupid and dont kno wat to doo about it i cant get over him no matter wat i do..im soo lost and dont kno wat to do>?!?!?!!?

I NEED SERIOUS HELP PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!

Forget both guys. Sure, be friends, but continuing the way you are will only cause more hurt in the long-run. You're being dishonest to your boyfriend by favoring someone else and not ending an already hurt relationship. You're hurting yourself by continuing to moon over someone who has moved on.
Things will probably continue to be rocky and uncomfortable for a while, but try to take some time to be single. Getting over both guys definitely won't be easy. However, backing off of dating will help you regain perspective.
After the mess has cooled off and you've spent quality FRIEND time, you might decide you're ready for another try with your boyfriend. Go ahead if he's still available, but guys who are already with others are off-limits, no matter how much you like them or they might like you.
Hopefully, this experience will have taught you a valuable lesson for future relationships.

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when my boyfriend fingered me after it really hurt everytm i leant forward n i was bleedin alot? is it normal?

He probably was too rough. If the bleeding lasts a long time and you know for sure a period didn't come at an interesting moment, you might want to go to a doctor. Otherwise, you might want to use a water-based lubricant and have your boyfriend go slower or be more gentle in the future. It might also help to have him trim his nails so there isn't rough edges.

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My friend told me that I was a natural flirt, meaning that I flirt with almost every guy without knowing it. He said I do this thing with my eyes that gets guys to come over and talk to me and flirt back with me.I don't recall ever doing that, but how can I stop? Because a lot of girls hate me because of it because the guys do flirt back, so what can I do?

It's okay to be nice when someone comes over, but be sure to remain clear about your intentions. People can easily misinterpret body language, but you can make the situation better by keeping conversations simple and clean (like you do with your teacher or religious cousin). Don't try to show off or lean in towards your visitors but remain respectful.
As to other girls, it's their problem if they feel deprived of attention. In the end, it's the guys who have to come towards you, flirting means nothing if nobody's interested.

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Hello My Name Is Rachel. I'm 13. Im dating this kid name Bret. Hes amazing and exstremly cute!!! But I'm worriedd.... cause sooo many girls like him and i'm worried that he'll go to one of them instead of me... I mean i do get jealous really easily but still. Because it just seems like everyone thinks hes cute and they all like him but i dont want to loose him... and i also get really jealous when other girls talk to him and I just dont want to loose him and i dont know what to do? HELP PLEASEE!

The biggest thing is to not go digging for signs. I cannot express enough how annoying it is when females try to find hints that their guys are cheating, just to prove their fears right.
What you can do is honestly, and without finger-pointing, express your concerns to your boyfriend. Let him know that you'd appreciate that he make a point that he's with you to the other girls. He doesn't need to actually say anything, but holding your hand and cuddly behaviors do mean a lot.
Past that, just trust that he has indeed chosen you and nobody else, that any affection involving others is purely one-way coming from them. The attention of other girls means little if your guy is only interested in you.

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I'm 17/F
I have had a boyfriend for 2 steady months
and I used to like this guy and he saw me kissing
my boyfriend. He gave me a rather hurt look. Does he finally like me? I'm so confused what should i do?

The key wording is "used to". There's not much point in reading anything into the expression when you've already moved on and currently are dating someone else. Especially when you don't know for sure what you saw was actually disappointment (or disappointment for the same reason as you're thinking).
If things naturally don't work out with your boyfriend, sure, consider the crush. However, don't put at risk a perfectly good relationship over something that never happened.

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Ok their is this guy that goes to my school he is a grade ahead of me but he always sits by me one the bus and he said i was hot and he always flirts w/ me and stuff like that so i totally thought he liked me but when my friend asked him if he liked me he said he didnt wanta go out??? whats going on>?

There's two likely things. The guy just likes screwing around and flirting with you is another game. Or he could just think you're cool but isn't really interested in a relationship. Frankly, I would suspect the first. I suggest considering how he behaves towards you other places and with/without his buddies with him. Though in the end, if he said he doesn't want to go out with you, then he doesn't. There's lots of reasons why somebody might flirt but not really want more.

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My boyfriends(mike) best friend(Eric) who I am also pretty good friends with told me that Mike told him that he wanted to break up with me and that he regrets giving me a second chance.


He broke up with me a few months ago for reasons I wont say but we got back together. Now, we've been getting in all of these little annoying fights so I guess that would be his reason for saying that stuff to Eric.


But, when I asked Mike about what Eric said he said, he swore on his life that he never said such things.


So know I don't know who to believe. I totally trust my boyfriend so I think I'm leaning towards him. But then again, what reasons would Eric have to lie to me?


I know this isn't a lot of information because you guys obviously don't know me of the 2 guys but who would you believe?

18/f

Don't let someone else tell you how your boyfriend feels. Regardless of whether it's accurate or what reason there might be for telling. Usually that causes more trouble than might have been in the first place.
Seeing as the can has already been opened though, there are some points to be considered. It is possible your boyfriend said something like what Eric repeated, but you admitted you've been fighting and Mike might have said it when he was worked up. As hard as it is, it's best to let go of those things. While they can be vaguely useful, people do tend to say horrible, false things when angry.
I don't thing this is a matter of who to believe but people needing to cut out the drama. If you feel there might be honesty in the comment, you need to work it up yourself to have a calm discussion with your boyfriend about what problems you have. Messengers are innapropriate for relationship issues.

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Is it possible to fall in love with someone if you're not attracted to them pysically?
I have feelings for an older man (he's 45 and I'm 26). He isn't very good looking, he is overweight and has grey hair.
He is really nice to me though and we get along and have a lot in common.
Most younger guys that are cute don't make me feel the way he does.
Should I go for him or just stay with guys that are closer to my age?

While the point that you love him is perfectly fine, I doubt it's a boyfriend-girlfriend love. He probably makes you feel better than guys your age because he's had time to mature and learn something about how to treat a woman. However, if you're sure you want a closer (even if nonsexual) relationship, then go ahead. But beware of how you go, if things don't work out like that it's more likely to be uncomfortable later.
I suggest taking a good look at how he treats you. Yes, he's nice but in what sort of way? I can't give hard rules on what means what, but as previously said, he could think of you as a daughter. Or maybe a younger sister.

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MY parents do know, and theyre fine with the age difference. My mom just wants me to be happy. She loves me no matter what.

I am glad to hear this, I've heard many stories (and have had a bad experience myself) of problems between parents and children that easily could be prevented if the parents would have opened their minds and hearts.
As long as your happiness isn't something you had to convince yourself of, I think don't think there's any problem. :)

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Im 15 and my boyfriend is 18. weve been together for almost a year. He was really sweet the first 5 months, but now he has gotten so jealous that we get in fights all the time over it. He doesnt like me talking to guys or even looking at them. He doesnt like me wearing slutty clothes. (he considers skirts slutty) We both work at the same place and when our manager tells me i have to work the drive thru with a boy, he gets so mad at me like i can help it. Ive broken up with him several times hoping that he will change, but everytime i get back with him, an hour later hes right back at it again. Each time i break up he calls me up or comes over telling me how much he loves me and i always take him back. He tells me often that i will NEVER find anyone who will treat me better, and that im lucky to have him!! I told him i dont want to live like this, but he doesnt seem to get it. If i accidentally piss him off he'll go and start flirting or talking to other girls to piss me off. He was like this with his first girlfriend, but it didnt seem to cause problems in their relationship like it has ours. Shes basically the same age as he is, so i dont know if that has anything to do with it. He was very sensitive to her needs, and would hold her if she got upset or mad, but i feel he doesnt care when i get mad. I do know that i dont want to be controlled! Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!

I have add my agreement with the majority. It's time to say no to this loser.
He doesn't love you. He doesn't care about you. You're an object. A piece of ass. You're worthless to him. And he's full of shit.
Don't believe for one second that you cannot do better. You CAN do better. This piece of shit doesn't deserve you. It'll be hard to say "No more" but you owe it to yourself to realize the truth, you are a great person. Don't let this fool belittle you anymore.

If you're worried about violence towards yourself, you need to talk to somebody in person. A parent or teacher, because this is wrong in more ways than I can say. Even if he doesn't physically harm you, he's at least mentally abusing you, something no girl deserves.

Also, I'd like to point out that a 18yo having sex with a 15yo constitutes statuatory rape. That means even if you did agree, your parents can sue on your behalf. And I wouldn't blame them for wanting to do so for him abusing you like this.

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16/m ok i really need help on this one im stuck and dont know what to do i love my gf to death and we have been going out for 11 months but she works at a local gym called lifetime as a swim instructer and the other day she walked out and a guy walked out with her and she knew this guy but he walked her all the way to her car and when she got in her car the guy reached for a drink inside the car and as he did that he kissed her on the lips she said she didnt kiss back and pushed him away and i talked to some of her freinds and she told me the truth but i feel like i need to do somthing and the fact that she came forward and told me about it. she started out by saying that she really doesnt feel comfterble telling me this because i could meke us worse but its tearing her up inside so she told me. and im really glad she did this but i want to beet the crap out of the guy not only for kissing her but he made her hurt and made her scared to tell me somthing she went 2 days with this inside her. what do i need to do

p.s hes a soph. in college and we are soph. in highschool

The guy should've gotten the message by her refusing his attention, so approaching him is unnecessary at this point. It's only if he is intent on pushing his affection that the school counsellor should be talked to.
Your girlfriend's fear isn't so much as the guy's fault as the fact she was probably worried that you would misunderstand what happened. For all she knew, you could really be an insecure guy and lash out at both of them. This isn't unreasonable as many guys are easily threatened by even the faintest hint that their girl might be involved with some other guy.
I know what it's like to want to beat the shit out of someone for messing with your mate, but getting violent over something already handled really isn't the best decision.

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Me and my gf got along for one year. we been going out for.. but lately it`s gotta very grry. we broke up cause of this. But got together saying we wouldnt fight and all. well agrue. I love her alot. But i dunno how to talk to her bout it. She`s a lovely girl. And she loves me also. Can we still make this happen? Or is fate telling us this is all we have?
16 f Canada

All couples have their little arguments. However, you shouldn't always be warring with each other and if it's getting physical or extreme, it's time to take a meaningful step back.
The best way to start is by thinking of why you get angry/defensive. Even if you didn't start it or are being wrongly accused, fire just feeds fire. If you know something is going to set you off, you need to figure out how to recognize it's about to happen and finds peaceful ways of dealing with it.
Then, with your gf, you need to have a discussion of how you can make things improve. This discussion has at least three rules: 1. No accusing or hear-says 2. No general statements (saying "let's not fight" is nice, but unreasonable as a total statement) 3. The discussion never ends. If you feel you've covered the big stuff, then agree on ending that session of discussion but remember to leave the option for further discussions open. Nothing is set in stone and sometimes the unexpected happens.

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Sorry this is kinda long but I need the help!

Last night me and a couple of my friends were hanging out with some guy friends from school at a football game. And during the game I realized that I liked the one guy as a little more than a friend. And now I want to go out with him. But the problem is I'm pretty sure he doesn't like me. (and im not the kinda girl that just likes asking him if he does). Him and one of his other friends were seeing who could get more hugs (kinda childish i know) but I kept giving the hug I like hugs and everything along with one other friend. One of his friends said that he should go out with one of us and alls he said was 'they all like me too much.' So my question is what should I do I really want to go out with him? Or what can I do to get him to like me as more than a friend? Or whatever else suggestions you got I'd like the help!
Thanx

I know it's been said a million times, but foremost you need to just be you. Doing things just to get attention is lying to yourself and him.
Above stated, be nice to him and don't be afraid to be a dork and find extra ways to cross paths (without denying who you are). You already have an advantage by being his friend, but that also can go against you. You may be one of his buddies rather than a friend. While this would mean he already has moved closer with you, it's pretty well impossible to be one of the guys AND a girlfriend (they require different levels of commitment and behavior that generally are not compatible).
Don't forget though, being one of the guys or just a friend that's a girl is a pretty nice place to be anyways. If he's not interested in a little more, you're going to need to accept that, no matter how hard.

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I'm a twenty-one year old girl in love with a forty-seven year old man. We met at church, went back to my house on only the second time of meeting and had sex. After that he has been distant but kind. He says he feels afraid of his own disconnection. I don't know why, but I feel more for him than I have felt for anyone in a long time. I miss him when we're apart, even though we're not dating and I play it cool, determined not to crowd him or drive him off. But do bachelors that age remain bachelors?

Sometimes, sometimes not. I don't think his bachelor status is the main issue (even if possibly an issue).
A person that really cares about you is not distant. I'm generally antisocial in person, but with my fiance I am about the most affectionate thing in the world.
Of course you feel a strong connection to him, a "mature" man has given you personal and private attention. You are not alone and this is perfectly natural.
While the age gap isn't complimentary, I'm concerned more about the fact he had sex with you on the second meeting. Regardless of how kind he is, that was just irresponsible and likely the reason he's cool towards you. I bet it'll be hard, but the best thing you can do is accept what happened as a mistake to learn by. Next time an older guy, or any guy, is interested in you, take it slow. If they can't wait for you, they're not worth it, no matter how kind or lovable otherwise.

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