I'm a 17 year old senior high school student who considers himself quite knowledgable in the realm of relationships and I've experienced alot more than most people, so if you have any questions, ask away! I'll do my best to take you seriously but remember--stupid questions merit stupid answers.
Interests:
Guitar, music, theater, movies, lacrosse, college football, coffee, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
Also, LEGAL DISCLAIMER!!!
I feel, in this increasingly crazy world, that I should state, for the record, that I am NOT, in fact, Ben Savage and nothing that I say or write in this column should be associated with or attributed to Mr. Savage, his people, or any company associated with him. Corey Matthews is/was simply a nickname given to me in my freshman year of high school, because of my likeness to Mr. Savage.
Gender: Male
Location: Somewhere, USA
Occupation: Student
Age: 17
Member Since: September 21, 2006
Answers: 26
Last Update: October 24, 2006
Visitors: 3958
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I am a virgin and I have not done anything with my boyfriend, but my mom is accusing me of having sex? Why would she think that and what can I do? Is she possibly jealous because I have a boyfriend and she doesnt so she is saying things? (link)
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Seems kind of odd that your mom (someone who's supposed to be "older, more mature, and understanding") would accuse you of something like that just because she's jealous, but it is a possibility. More likely, she's being bombarded by media images of young girls having sex, being told by her friends that young girls are having sex and the combination of the two (and probably a dozen other factors) are making her paranoid. You should try talking to her, face to face, one on one, in a serious conversation and try to gently confirm that you are not sexually active. I'm sure, deep down, she wants to believe that and you approaching her in a conversation will probably make her respect you more.
By the way, mad props on being a virgin. I don't know how old you are, but that's really something to be proud of.
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OKAY..So im 12 and im in the 7th grade.
There is this boy named aaron..he is in the 6th grade he asked me out but there is also this other boy named Ara.He asked me out too.i like them both but i dont know who i should date.btw Ara is in the 8th grade.
I really like them both but Aaron is younger than me..and i dont know is i should date him or Ara.i need some serious help.
love--Sarah
(link)
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I have to agree with "queenhearts". I'm not trying to be condescending, but dating at 12 years old is pointless. Every realtionship I had in middle school lasted about 3-4 weeks, and it was the same with almost everyone else I knew. I'm not trying to crush your dreams or anything, but it's the truth. On the other hand, you're getting older and I can definately understand where you're coming from. If you've seen my column, you probably know that I like to do things in 3's, so here it goes. Three things you should/shouldn't consider when choosing a boyfriend/girlfriend:
1) Don't listen to other people. It's not their decision to make.
2) NEVER date someone just because they are "cool" or older than you. Those NEVER turn out good.
3) Choose the one that treats you the best, respects you, doesn't expect you to do "stuff" with him, has the most in common with you, and ultimately the one who you have the most fun with.
Most of all, relax and take it easy. You're young and you're going to have a lot of other boyfriends. Don't rush anything and don't make any decisions that make you uncomfortable. America doesn't need anymore pregnant teenagers.
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well my b/f and i have been going out for a week or two and all we have done is hugged. i want it to move a little faster. what should i do? (link)
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First of all, if it's only the second week, it's not that bad that all you've done is hugged. However, I totally understand that you're getting tired of the snail's-pace progress your relationship is making. The best advice I can give(as a guy that's been in the same situation before) is that you've got to make a move. There's only three reasons why he hasn't made a move by now:
1) He's shy.
2) He's not familiar enough with you yet and isn't sure whether making a move now will scare you off.
or
3) He's gay.
Sooooo... my guess is that it's either #1 or #2 so what you should do is make the move yourself. Guys LOVE it when the girl makes the first move and it will give him the confidence to make the move in the future.
Of course, if you go to his house and find rainbow streamers and Bon Jovi posters, it might be #3, so you should run away.
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Okay, I know this question is so trite and overly questioned but one more won't hurt, will it?
Anywhos, there's this guy...he's a grade level higher than me but I like him so much. I don't have any classes with him but we both take IBP and yes that amounts to something although it may sound like nothing.
I think he likes me...I don't know...pretty sure he does. I really really like him and I want to do all these things with him that I never really thought of doing before. He's so sweet, nice, funny, athletic, smart, cute, everything
He surfs, is in the school play, in boy scouts, plays guitar, is smart, he's so funny and nice to talk to and everything. Now he's not a nerd or anything, trust me. He's far from that.
I guess what I'm asking is...how do I get this guy before someone else gets him? I don't like direct confrontation as in I'm not going to go up to him or anyone else and ask "Who do you like? Wanna go out? I like you etc. etc."
(link)
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Chances are you have friends that are friends with his friends or some such other connection. If so, try to get your friends that are his friends to put in a good word for you.
If that's not a possibly, there's a lot of different ways. If he has a myspace, leave a comment. Get his screen name and start talking to him online. I'm more of a face-to-face kinda guy myself so I don't usually go about things that way, but some friends of mine have been very successful using computer-related approaches. Personally, I suggest that you suck it up and talk to him. A girl that goes out of her way to get my attention usually does. Don't come on too strong at first, but (through flirtation or some other such thing) make it clear that you're interested. Sounds like a pretty cool kid. You don't want to sit around too long and risk him getting away.
Good luck!
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my friends say that i look like a guy that they could take home to meet there family is that a good thing or a bad thing (link)
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That's a great thing. It means they view you as a decent guy who they wouldn't be afraid to show to their folks. You should go jump up and down with joy and thank whatever deity you worship.
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i like this guy but i'm scared to tell him,because it's a really random guy and he probbaly doesn't like me.
what should i do? (link)
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Tell him. It might sound like the 'obvious' answer, but if you don't tell him you're going to regret it and you'll keep posting questions on Advicenators. Think of it this way-you tell him and one of three things happen:
A) He's cool with it and everything turns out great.
B) He's not sure how he feels and everything will be worked out eventually.
or
C) He doesn't like you and everything stays the same.
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Ok so I'm a freshamn and there's a kid in my gym class. He's cute and he always stares at me. Like a lot!. I think he likes me nd he's a really shy person. How can I get him 2 talk to me without looking stupid. Please don't say to ask him for what time it is...I don't think he carries a watch lol help (link)
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Asking him what time it is is probably one of the worst things you could do, even if he does have a watch. The conversation would probably go a little like this:
YOU: What time is it?
HIM: (Shaking) Um...1:30.
YOU: Okay, thanks!
HIM: Uh huh...
YOU: ....Okay, bye!
Not a good ice breaker! If you are too shy to just go up and talk to him, try to get on his team whenever you play a sport and talk to him then. Afterwards, you can talk about how the game went, how tough the other team was, how well he played, etc. Don't freak him out: take it slow, talk for a couple minutes the first day and then start talking to him more and more as the days go by. Chances are, if he likes you, he'll really be open to talking to you, and though he might not seem like it since he's shy, he'll be thrilled that you're even talking to him.
Let me know how it goes...
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can you tell your bf you love him if youve only been datn a month (link)
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Sure, there's no rules. But remember, there's a big difference between "loving" someone and being "in love". I "love" my parents, my friends, my family, etc. But I have only been "in love" twice. You can tell him whenever you feel that you really do care about him, but don't take it lightly. Love is a big thing and it's a lot more than a four letter word...it's an attitude and a very powerful emotion. Be realistic, if you've only been dating a month, chances are you're really not "in love" with him (maybe I'm wrong, but in my experience it usually takes quite a while to really fall "in love"...not that there's a set "time limit" or anything). Just make sure that, whenever it is, you mean it with everything you have and that you treat him like you do.
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Hey my question is about my boyfriend. weve been goin out for 4 months and ive met his parents but he hasnt introduced me to his friends. should i be worried about this? i dunno. I always thought friends were a big part of a guys life. (link)
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You're right about a guy's friends being a big influence in his life, but him not introducing you yet doesn't necessarily mean that he's ashamed of you or anything. I was with a girl for over a year and a half and i didn't meet her friends until almost 6 months or so and things were fine. Try bringing it up one day, try to arrange a casual 'date'/hangout with some of his friends (and maybe a couple of yours if you think it will be uncomfortable). Don't make it anything romantic--a theme park or a trip to the mall or something would be ideal.
Overall, don't worry about it. He may just be trying to give you his undivided attention when he's with you, instead of having a bunch of his friends hanging around and giving you guys a hard time. It's really nothing to worry about at this point.
Good Luck!
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after we broke up [almost a year ago] i liked him for a really long time and i was absaloutely dying inside. it was so bad i started seeing a pycologist (sp) NO JOKE.
so we started hanging out and talking again and we have the same friends. last night he called me just to tell me something fast and then i figured wed hang up after he told me but then he kept talking. and he talked a lot about when we went out. when were together he always asks for hugs and ill sit on his lap. he tells everyone he thinks im hot too [not the best thing but idk ill take it]
so do you think he likes me?
should i go for it?
theres another guy that really likes me A LOT like A LOT and i like him a little. =/
help. thank you. (link)
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A guy telling people that you're hot, sitting on your lap and giving you hugs doesn't necessarily mean he likes you. I think several girls at my school are attractive, I give lots of these girls hugs, but I don't like any of them. The important thing is the way he treats you. Same thing with this "other guy". Just because he "likes you" doesn't make him worth dating. Make sure that whoever you choose respects you and enjoys your company. That's the most important thing.
It might be worth it to give this "other guy" a chance. A very close friend of mine (guy) was in LOVE with another friend of mine (girl). At first, she rejected him, but later on she decided to give him a chance and now they are honestly one of the happiest couples I know.
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Well my boyfriend and i love each other soo much, but we don't really get enough alone time... i'm busy with all the school clubs, and ice skating, and he is always busy with football. Well today was finally a day where we were both free, and that won't happen for another 2 weeks, and so when i asked him if he wanted to hang out, he said maybe... and just left it. I really want ot hang out with him, but i think he is doing something with his other friends... but i don't know what to do! i really want to see him! and i'm getting the impression that he doesn't want to hang out with me!! Please help!! (link)
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This happens alot, especially in high school and beyond. Between clubs, sports, friends and work it may seem like you two have no time for each other. Something to consider: maybe you don't need to have a boyfriend right now. I know, it's not pleasant to think about, but if both of you have no free time, it's probably going to start putting a stress on your relationship. If you do choose to end it, make sure you tell him WHY, and not just "we're breaking up".
Of course, the best way to go would be to talk to him and try to figure out a way to spend more time together (weekends, nights, etc.) Plan a couple of dates well in advance and make sure that when you are together, all your focus is on him (and hopefully he'll do the same)
Good luck
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14/f
and how do you know if a guy likes you?
what does he do or say that kinda hints it?
anything will help.
thanks in advance. (link)
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Ususally, there's subtle flirting involved. Now, being that you are 14, maybe you don't pick it up very well. Or maybe he's bad at it. But generally there will be those moments where it seems like he's teasing you in a funny way. This is not to be confused with harassment, stalking, or verbal abuse. Those are illegal.
If there's a guy you're interested in, try talking to him. At first, it's likely to be awkward but after a while (a week or two) it will get to be easier. If he likes you, he'll most likely being flirting and maybe eventually ask you out.
Contrary to popular belief, guys can be incredibly shy about asking girls out, and they LOVE it when a girl takes control of the situation.
Good luck!
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I just broke up with my boyfriend the other night( a day before our 6 months). The only reason I did it was becasue he caught me at a really bad time and said something that made me mad. I told him if he cant give me the answers I need then its over. I regret it big time. He then called me later that night and we talked about it. He said that he'll always be here for me when I need him and we will still talk. He also said that we should just take a break and thats what right now is. Another thing he said is that he has never loved/liked anyone the way or as much as he loved me. What does all this mean? Does it mean that there is a chance I will be getting back with him? (link)
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I've been the guy in that situation before and I can tell you that the best thing you can do right now is keep the lines of communication open. Let him know that you regret it and that you were just having a bad day. It sounds like he really cares about you and I'm sure he'd be willing to give it a second chance. Start off slow, don't force anything. Let him know how much he means to you. Being dumped sucks, but more than likely he'll forgive you and this can work out for the better.
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Female: 14.
Adam and I have been going out for over a month. Things are going great except for one thing, when I do something cute he CONSTANTLY does it back.
For example:
I covered his eyes to surprise him yesterday.
He's done it to me randomly almost 6 times today.
I kissed him on the cheek when saying goodbye once, now he ALWAYS kisses my cheek. Its weird and ackward.
He copies more then that, how do I politley tell him to stop? Thanks! (link)
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Tell Adam that you're tired of "dating yourself." Tell him to grow some balls and be original.
Then go get some coffee. (It solves everything)
(He's doing it because you did it to him and he thinks that's what you want. It's probably completely harmless. Bring it up casually one day "You always copy me! Hahaha" and see what he says. If he says "You always copy me! Hahaha." RUN AWAY!!!!
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so there is this guy (i'm a girl). well he is my best friend. and we hang out all the time and spend 2 hours on the phone every day. but the problem is that he is totally in love with me.he tels me that almost every day and he knows i like someone else and he always askes me: do you still like him? and that really sucks. and he asked me to go to a movie once. i said yes because he even TOLD me that it's just friendshiply. so after the movie he kissed me.
after that i acted like it never really happened because i just like him as a friend and he knows that. but he just can't leave me alone and he always hugs me when my crush is somewhere near. i tried talking to him and told him in a nice way that he should stop. then he stopes for 10 min. and after that he starts asking me if i still like him and why i even like him and he sais so mean stuff about him. what should i do??
by the way i used to have a crush on my best friend but that was 2 years ago. we werent even friends that time and he did'nt like me so i gave up. and i know i will never love him. i just like him as a friend. and he knows that he is my best friend. is'nt that enough?
please help sorry this was so long (link)
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Saying hey i dont like you obviously isnt working. For some reason its just not going to his brain. Of course you want to be nice because you value the friendship but it can get out of hand very easily. Tell him how much his friendship means to you but STRESS the fact that you only want to be friends.
If he doesn't get it, give him a good slap in the face and go get some coffee.
But seriously, if he can't respect your wishes as far as the friendship goes, let him go. If he really wants your friendship he'll realize he made a big mistake and ask for forgiveness.
Unfortunately, us guys usually don't learn our lessons.
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13/f
Lately Ive been miserable
I like this one guy who ive liked on and off for 3 years and he likes my friend.
We were really close over the summer and now that we are back at school he likes her, and he barely talks to me and he is sometimes mean to me.
But then if we are alone, hes pretty nice to me.
And the more people say hes hot, it makes me sad and mad .
I just dont know what to do!
please help!
ps ive never had a boyfriend and ive only like 5 boys in my life.
(link)
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Any guy who's a jerk to you when you're around your friends and sweet to you when you're alone is an ass. Soon enough, he'll stop being sweet when you're alone and then it will all suck. Don't settle for someone who's not good enough for you.
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14/f/ freshman
i dont even know where too start.
uh, well this all start on the first day of school. i sit down in a seat with my reallllly good friend of 6 years, heather. we have a new bus schedule and it was the first day of highschool, so i was interested in any cute guys. one stop, had this really cute guy named steve on it. i only recongnize him from being on my friends myspaces. so a few days passed and then around wednesday the 13th i added him on myspace and i got his screenname hes a junior, heathers a sophmore, we started talking alot. and i started to like him. the only thing that sucked was that he had a girlfriend, we talked a little over the weekend and he told me to say hey to him on monday. monday finally came and i was sooo excitied, when i got onto the bus i told heather that i had been talking to him and she seemed surprised, because this kid is kind of popular. and so i could tell heather was like jealous that they dont really talk. anyway, me and steve had been talking this whole week and today heather got off at my bus stop, and we were planning on going to the mall. we were sitting in front of the computer and i as usual was talking about steve, and she knows i like him. we were on myspace and we saw that him and his girlfriend brokeup. i was so happy, words couldnt describe. i was talking to him and trying to make him feel better and stuff. heather says "we should tell him to meet us at the mall, i'd probably hook up with him" ....i dont understand how she could say that. and then she kept saying how cute he was. i didnt make the connection that she was starting to like him. after that she left and when we were talking online she said that she decided to go with her friend lilly. i got pissed at that too. so i decided to go with my friend alison, so i posted a myspace bulletin saying oh yay im going with alisonto the mall, and steve i-med me saying oh yay im going to ! lets meet up or something ! i was in suchhh a good mood and then it all fell down. first alison decides to ditch, and go over her friends, then heather callsme asking me if i am coming to the mall, and she also adds that she was sending steve messages back and forth, and she told me to read them, so i go on her myspace and she lied, she reversed everything, like she said that he said that he wanted to hang with her, and on themessages it was backwards. she was the one who wanted to hang with him. anyway so now im home, and im praying that they dont hook up. because that would ruin my life and my friend ship with heather.
this is my question:
do i have a chance ? should i stay liking steve ? and should i still talk to heather ?
if you think i should still like steve.. then do you have any tips for me ?
thanks (link)
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Is this a question or a novel?
P.S. Heather sucks. Do whatever you want when it comes to Steve.
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I have deep feelings for my best friend. Our relationship is just that friends. I've shared with him my feelings about this & he's always accepted them with an open heart. My issue I'm facing is I'm starting to act jealous. He's a very flirtatious guy. I end up wanting to cry now whenever he turns on his charm to other ladies. This was never a problem for me in the past. Being a flirt is who he is. He claims up & down that he doesn't want to be in a relationship (which is fine by me, we both have the same view points on that topic) My issue is that I'm in love with someone that shares his affection with everyone. We've talked numerous times about this. I need to find out why I feel so jealous & 99.9% of my jealousies are because I misunderstood him. How do I over come this before? I might have a chance with him, but for right now I just don't want to loose my best friend. (link)
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As a very "charming" 17/m myself, I have had extensive experience in this area (actually, I'm going through a similar experience currently). Guys and girls alike are extremely flirtatious during the high school years. Yes, it sucks, but it's part of finding who you are. My biggest problem with this situation is that you admit to being "just friends" and that neither of you want anything more. The fact that you're not "going steady" gives him (and you) every right to flirt with whoever he wants. It might be difficult, but if your friendship is really that strong, maybe it's just best that you stay friends.
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