hey there! My name is Alexandra (or Alex). I am just your friendly neighborhood Spiderman.
I'm here because I would like to help people with whatever may be burdening them.
I am empathetic and insightful. However, keep in mind that I am not a therapist but will do my best to help with whatever it is you are going through. :)
If you are feeling in need of 'quick help' and are suicidal, abused, in danger, etc;, here is a hotline:
http://www.crisistextline.org/textline/?gclid=CMTnron-rL8CFYpffgodgokALw
So, ask away! All is confidential (I'm not going to blab about your stuff to strangers).
Website: http://falynnfalcon.tumblr.com/
Gender: Female
Occupation: college student
Age: 19
Member Since: March 16, 2011
Answers: 48
Last Update: October 16, 2014
Visitors: 4885
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So there's this guy I've been crushing on so hard for the past while now. I'm in the US and he's in... Australia (fml). I really like him. Don't know if he sees me the same way. People think I'm crazy. But I was gonna like take it REALLY slow, get to know him a lot then tell him if I still like him as much or even more. Because if you truly like someone and want to be with them, it doesn't matter the distance, how much time you have with them, or how long it'll take to meet them, right? Btw, he said he's going to move to the UK or US when he graduates university. So there's a good chance with that, right? (link)
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I think it's a very smart idea to take this slow. You can never tell with people who you've never met before, in person! Let alone someone from across the globe. If you do want to pursue Prince Charming (which it seems like you totally do) I would get to know him real well. Have an open mind and keep your expectations reasonable. I wouldn't reveal too much personal stuff about yourself unless you feel ready to trust him.
Keep yourself busy too. You don't want your life to revolve around this dude and the fantasies that you may be having. ;D Establish boundaries and trust. Make sure he's a safe person. If he does happen to locate you, it might be worth meeting him in person. You never know what may happen! Online dating is kind of the norm these days. People may think you're crazy but you're just following your feelings which is totally ok.
Again: keep an open mind , don't set your expectations too high, BE SAFE, make sure you're not completely hung up on him, and be aware that your hopes and fantasies are probably unrealistic. If you do decide to meet with this lad, meet in a public place or have a friend go with you. The more the merrier! Of course I don't think you're retarded ;D Being in love makes us a bit crazy and do silly things. We're only human!
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'fingering girl, may have precum on finger, but girl took ipill after the incident....will she be pregnant? (link)
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Since birth control is supposed to be 100% effective, most likely not. However, it is still best to be cautious. Both of you wash your hands after sexy time. ;)
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I'm 20 and I broke up with my first love a year ago. I loved him with every fibre in my being and did literally everything for him, even if it went against my morals. I spent all the money I had on getting him expensive gifts and I stuck with him, even when he couldn't care less about me. When we broke up because of the fact that he didn't wanna deal with commitment, at this stage in his life, he wasn't upset, not even for a day. It's been over a year and I've been the only one carrying all this pain and I've been holding so much hope that we could get back together, someday. We still see each other and he kisses me and that's what gave me hope that he still likes me. But last night, he told me that he'd never even think of marrying someone like me and that he needs a submissive kind of girl who doesn't pick up on the wrong things he does, like I did.I always picked up on all his lies and everything he hid from me. It hit me all at once, last night that he's been using me this past year and using my vulnerability. I cried in front of him for two hours straight and he kept saying the same things like "You're not my first love so I can't hold that much love for you" and "I told you I didn't want a relationship" "My first made me lose all my emotions" . I don't know why I'm so attached to him or why I'm even this devastated over a jerk like him. I just need someone to talk some sense into me. I worry, that I'll never be good enough for someone. What else can I do for someone to make them appreciate me? I allowed him to cross so many limits of mine and went above and beyond for him, and I get this, in return. How will I expect the next guy in my life to appreciate what I'll do for him and not break my heart again? (link)
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Gee, OP. What a total dick. : / I'm very sorry that this guy set you up with continuous disappointments. Doing what he did can easily destroy trust. I do hope you stopped seeing this guy. He really isn't good for you and you deserve someone who can stay true to his word if he makes a promise. I understand, it's difficult to break a cycle like that. I think the reason why you are so attached and keep going back, is because you still love him and are comfortable with him. He's gotten to know you, so he knows what you like , and you probably poured your heart out to him.
It does takes a lot of work to learn to be vulnerable to someone else. It's like you're starting the whole 'courting' process over. But the more you practice, wether it be with a potential partner or friend, the more comfortable you get. Even if it doesn't work out with that person, at least you tried!
Don't beat yourself up for being sad over this guy. Like I said, you loved, trusted, and enjoyed taking care of him. Unfortunately, he did not reciprocate. He was and is a selfish dude. So, I suggest that you stop seeing this douche-head completely. No contact. Distract yourself: surround yourself with good people and learn how to take care of yourself. This may seem selfish (and it is, but in a good way) but you should learn to put your happiness and needs first. That's right, pumpkin! If you're caught up with making someone else happy, then you are going to be miserable. And if someone truly loves you, they would want to be happy too. :)
If you want to be appreciated, appreciate yourself. Learn to become aware of what you need to be happy. So, when you meet someone, you are able to recognize if your needs are being met. When you are ready to date, try and be brave. If you recognize the right qualities in dudes, then you will attract the right person. If it helps, write down what you want in a guy and keep that in mind. But it is very important to learn to love yourself first!
Dating again may be scary. You might have luck or not, but you will acquire experience and learn what you, as a person, need to be happy. Go slow and keep and open mind, and have fun! Sorry this is long, but I hope it helps. :) Good luck, sweet cheeks.
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can kissing and fingering causes late periods
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Nope! Late periods are usually caused by: stress, being underweight, being overweight, excessive exercise, medical issues, a change in medication, and a possibility of pregnancy. If you are still concerned or your lady time is still arriving late, please see your doc. :)
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Dear Vikki
I'm 24 and from South Africa. I have been in a relationship for almost 7 months now and before that we were only friends. I love him a lot and care about him a lot, but at times I feel that my insecurities gets in the way and it ends up in us having an argument about something small and stupid. See we have a long distance relationship at the moment and it is mostly when he cannot have decent conversation at night because his busy and then I start thinking "maybe he doesn't want to talk to me" , "maybe he doesn't find me interesting anymore and he will leave me for someone else" and I do know that he cares for me a lot and that he loves me and as soon as I think I have these feelings under control, it creeps in again. I don't want to lose him, because I was insecure and clingy. I never was like this in the beginning. I was cheated on before and most of the times it is when I'm away from him, when we are together, I don't have it and because of this it makes things hard for me. I care about people real fast and they can actually hurt me with words. How do I get past this? How can I get past my insecurities and not be clingy when I feel like these emotions are creeping in? I'm not jealous when it comes to being his girlfriends, because I know what type of guy he is. I know he will never cheat on me, but because I don't always see myself as beautiful, I'm sometimes afraid he will leave me for someone more beautiful than me. The guy that cheated on me used to say to me, that I shouldn't think that someone can love me, because there feelings will change. I was so deeply hurt.
Is there any advice you can give me? Guess I'm just looking for someone to talk to that I don't know personally!
Thanks!
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Hey there, OP! Because you have been cheated on in the past, it is completely understandable that you have these insecurities. Having a long distance relationship is a test of trust too. Getting cheated on is very traumatic too; it will be the first thing that comes to mind when you question your relationship. You do not want to get hurt again, so you protect yourself, yet you want to cling on to every bit of him. This is totally not your fault, like I said, cheating is traumatizing. It destroys your self esteem and self worth. Cheating is a complete destruction of trust.
So if you find yourself being secure, ask yourself: is there any evidence that he is being unfaithful? If not, then try and realize that it is just your anxiety due to trauma, then try and distract yourself. Also, maybe you two can come up with some sort of schedule so you know when he is available to talk.
Does your boyfriend know that you were cheated on? I would try and talk with him about your insecurities. It might make you feel better if he is understands and agrees to support you.
In the meantime, maybe get some help for yourself. Overcoming and learning to trust again will improve your relationship(s). Good luck!
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I am so confused. I dont know what to do anymore. I am depressed all the time. To the point where all I want to do is cry and at times it takes all I have not to. I feel so alone. I have been married for 8 years but we never talk and lately he and I have been sleeping in separate rooms. We dont even argue we just dont talk. I know I am not happy anymore and I havent been for a long time. But we have children together and this is the only serious relationship I have ever had. To top it all he is controlling so I have never had a job and I dont know if I can support myself or my kids without him. I dont want to be miserable forever but I am terrified of life without him. I dont know how to survive without him. And I have absolutly no friends not a single one because my high school friends and I have drifted apart and I am not allowed out to have any. And I have no family I grew up in foster homes. So without him I am completely alone. I have no one to turn to. No one to stay with til I get on my feet. Am I being selfish by wanting a life of my own. What do I do? Where do I go from here? (link)
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Gosh, I am so sorry that you're in this situation. You are certainly not alone; many mothers have been in your shoes, and many have built a happier life for themselves. Anyways, here we goo!
It is not unusual for you to want to remain attached to him, especially if he is your first serious lover. Many of us hold on to the fantasy of a happy married life and desire to grow old with that one person. However, married life will never be that perfect but that doesn't mean it can't be satisfying.
By reading your story, I can understand how totally worn out you must be! But there are options for you if you want to try to make this marriage work and have your man be willing to work with you. Marriage counseling can be very affective. Marriage councilors help spouses communicate more efficiently and acknowledge their feelings towards the marriage. Even if they end up deciding to split up, marriage counselors can help the process be a bit more peaceful. A marriage counselor can help with your man's control issues too.
But if you feel you would be much happier without him and you do not want to put anymore effort into working together then, you are NOT A BAD PERSON. Being with someone who will not communicate with you can be very exhausting! It is not selfish of you to put your happiness first. You matter to. "If you are happy, then I am happy" should always apply to relationships. Although it took me a while to accept it, I am very happy my parents split up. They were not communicating and often had a lot of difference in opinion with raising my brother and I. They are divorced, but much happier. YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON for wanting happiness for yourself.
Many couples have come to terms with the fact that they are no longer happy together, yet remain together for the sake of their kids. While that is compassionate of them, it can be unhealthy. Kids are more susceptible to feelings between their parents then you may realize. I was very young when my parents became unhappy with each other but I remember feeling the tension and stress.
People (us ladies especially) sometimes have difficulty leaving abusive partners, whether they have kids or not. They fear being alone, being a nobody, being inadequate, not being able to find someone as awesome, etc; This is also known as codependency. It is not an uncommon trait, but is very unhealthy and a therapy will help with that.
Now, I am not lying when I say this but: you can live a life without him (and raise your kids). You CAN be someone without him(and raise your kids). You do not need him to survive (or your kids). You were born without him, and you can leave this world without him. You can be happy without him (and raise your kids). Easier said then done but if you are unhappy with him, you need to have the courage to leave.
Ok time for an escape plan! You say that you don't have any family or friends. Is there anyone that you trust? Either it be an acquaintance or an adult? It takes courage to ask for help and it is SO rewarding when you are able to receive it. In this world, no human can survive without help. If you are having difficulty, I suggest you get into therapy. I would not be the person I am today without therapy. Therapists are trained and professional. They will keep everything you say confidential (unless you plan on harming yourself or others :p). But please, DO NOT give up on asking for help. You may be surprised as to how many are willing to help.
In conclusion...
You are not being selfish whatsoever. When we are struggling, it is vital to put our needs and happiness first. You matter to. And by helping your well being, you may not realize it, but you are helping your kid's well being too. I was very happy to see both my parents happy living without each other. You deserve to have a life of your own. You are in control. Where do you go from here? I suggest writing down people you know. Anybody. Try and find the courage to reach out. Try to look into therapy to. Therapy will help with your codependency issue. Your therapist can walk you through the way out of this.
Good luck, sweet cheeks. Keep me up to date. :) You can survive.
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How can you love someone but not want to be with them. (link)
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Interesting question, my dear. Two things: you can love someone or you can be IN love with someone.
If you love someone (but don't want to be with them) can mean that: you enjoy their company, deeply care about them, you want to consistently to be in their life, you are willing to be there for them, etc;
Now, if you love someone but don't want to be with them, tells me that you are not romantically and sexually attracted to them. This could be because: you two aren't compatible in that manner, you don't have that 'romantic' chemistry, you cannot picture a future together, you are incompatible when it comes down to values and interests, etc;
When you are IN love with someone...you see this person as more than a friend; a partner. You have romantic/sexual chemistry, you want to be loyal to this person, and you would not want to be 'just a friend'.
In short: You can love a friend, but if you do not want to be with them, then you are not IN love with them. You only love them as a friend.
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What is the best way for me to show my girl friend that she means the world to me and that i fully trust her and love her with all of my heart? (link)
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very sweet :) My boy friend compliments me everyday, asks me how I am doing and what I am up to. I never get tired of that. He also asks about my family, and simple things. But the number one thing that all girls (and guys love) is when you remember the smallest details (their fav color, movie, vacation,food, animal etc) that means the world to me, even though I do not expect that :)
As for trust, share your hopes, fears,secrets, and dreams with her, she'll do the same. By doing that you guys will connect on a deeper level. Trust me
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I dated this guy for 2 months. We weren't official, but he told me he never liked anyone as much as he liked me (he's 18), never found a girl like me, lost hope in relationships until he met me, etc. He gave me every compliment in the book. We had really deep conversations I was never able to have with ANYONE else.
But, excuse the expression, I was out of his league, on many levels, but I still really enjoyed spending time with him: texted him all the time, hung out with him on a regular basis, etc.
6 weeks into our dating, he says he's not ready for a relationship. I'm obviously confused, because HE has been pursuing/wooing ME all this time -- I'm out of his league, remember, so this is SO STUPID of him, since he almost had me -- but I'm okay and we're still as close. Exactly 1 week later he says, "I was so stupid, I know what I want now, I want you." I think about it for a week and tell him for sure I don't want a relationship.
We were still pretty close that week. I saw him a few days after and he's still the same as always, flirty, clingy, "you look so beautiful," etc.
FIVE DAYS LATER: He's official with another girl on facebook, a girl he's been friends with all along.
It was a week before I found out. He wasn't talkative during that week, but not unfriendly.
As soon as I found out, I stopped texting him. It was a d!ck move. Not exactly to me, but definitely to the new girl. She doesn't know me and probably doesn't know he had this two-month-long enrapture with me. And I feel like what we had is just cheapened. I wasn't expecting him to get into a relationship this quickly. Like, we hung out one-on-one a lot and obviously we can't do that anymore. That pisses me off, because we were so close, as friends, and he said he wanted to continue being like that, but now its gone.
Sticky situation is, we're co-workers. I haven't replied to any of his texts and have no desire to. But I'm not sure how to act towards him in work. Pretend nothing happened and be normal?, but I don't think he deserves that. Or just be civil upon contact? Or ignore him?
And why/how do you think he got with that other girl so fast?? I just don't understand. I'm shocked. He was SO into me, he told me so all the time. He said I was the only one who ever made him happy and that he wanted to recreate a world with just me in it. Then... new girl? Wtf???
I miss him as my friend. But I feel like nothing can be the same now. What should I do? :(
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aw :( I'm so sorry, he definitely led you on I've had this happen to me twice before. But that is very smart of you to recognize his true persona and cut off contact.
It seems that although he did express some interest in you, he was uncertain and afraid. Especially since he had bad luck in the past. And because of that he kept you around because he felt "safe" with you (yet at the same time just wasn't that into you, so he checked out this other girl).
He kept you around by making feel great and fantastic about yourself. And like I said he felt safe with you. It's like if this girl had rejected him, then he would just use you as a fall back (which is not fair to you, you should be the only girl in his world.
So what I think you should do, if you are wandering why he did this then confront him and tell him how it made you feel. (only if the thought is annoying you. Otherwise move on, you deserve better.
If it was meant to happen then it would have happened. If a guy truly cares about you he would focus on you and on you only, and would not give up on you, AND is not vague (this is true 'cause I've read stories, and I have my guy who is like this. And at work, just ignore him. Treat him like a stranger, but don't be mean.
And good job for having empathy towards the other girl-you prob are a bit jealous-but you are keeping it classy by not lashing out.
good luck :)
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I like this boy, but he said he doesn't like me, how do I get him to like me?
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Not every guy in the world is gonna like you :) and your not gonna like every guy in the world as well. There's so many out there! And just think; if he doesn't or will not feel the same way-then that's just one more ass out of your life :) if it's meant to happen then it WILL happen. If not, then it won't
You need to always respect another's wishes, you can not force one to feel the same way if they made their feelings clear. How would you feel if you were in his position and he tried to get you to like him? Kind of annoying :P so move on, and you'll find someone just as good who will feel the same way
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I love my boyfriend more than anything, and last month I realised that he lies. Quite a lot. But he only lies about the insignificant things? For example, what time he got up that morning (to avoid sounding lazy). We argued over the matter, and ever since I've been unsure as to whether or not he's changed. I haven't caught him out but that doesn't mean he isn't lying. Should I be worried? (link)
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His insignificant lies could mean he's trying to please you.."to avoid sounding lazy.." Haven't you ever lied to your parents about making the bed, walking the dog, or how late you stayed up last night? It's totally normal, everybody lies. Me, you and Obama. So give him a break.
BUT if his lying turns out to be something like "I went to see my parents last night" when really he was out with friends doing heaven knows what, then I would be worried.
To break it down insignificant lies are innocent, often material: chores, losing something, what he thinks of your look, what he thinks of your friends, time he got up= don't worry.
Serious lies: who he was out with, where he was, something he did, a very odd time of day (got home at 1am instead of 10pm), being hypocritical, something he claims he didn't do, but did= be worried
Otherwise sounds like he's trying to please you
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If you haven't seen my previous questions, I am fifteen and dating a wonderful guy. We have been dating for about two months.
Because I have been physically, mentally, and emotionally scarred from my past relationships, I am rather insecure. I get afraid my boyfriend will be upset over a strained subject and close me out, or I will lose him for a stupid reason. Even though I am fully aware he is only here to love me, and he tells me all the time there is nothing to worry about. He is helping me with my insecurities, and I feel like they are fading. Sometimes though I can feel it there, but I am keen to remind myself. I constantly worry he'll hurt me. It makes me so guilty too, because I know he would never ever hurt me purposefully. He is a respectful guy. I am so crazy.
Any ideas to cope with my insecure self? (link)
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That's great he is trying to help you, and no you are not crazy:D
but you really should see a therapist, they will help you face your fears and become more comfortable with yourself and him. You'll feel less guilty as well, with the knowledge that you are healing through professional help. A therapist will help you trust again
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I like this guy, he likes me,hes engaged, and im his "sancha" i want to stop wat we have, but yet another part of me wants to keep wat we have going. I dnt kno if i should break away or keep doing wat were doin.
his fiancee lives in another state, hes in the marine corp nd is stationed in my city. he tells me tht she is cheating on him too, because she has tld him, but he hasnt tld her about me. Anyone wanna help me, im confused. (link)
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If his fiancee is cheating on him then why are they still engaged? Kind of sounds like he's lying, therefore giving you permission to mess around with him, and he wants you to feel that it's ok
If he is lying then you need to back off they are engaged, and it is beyond wrong to mess with a potential bride's man. If he breaks off the engagement that's when it's ok. For now, NO
If you continue to mess around with him, the fiancee will be hurt, and you and his relationship will be forever tarnished. 'cause who knows, if he chooses you, he can mess with another woman behind your back to
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My boyfriend and I have been dating for two months. We've been friends for a while though. We are around each other almost 24 7 and if not together we are on the phone.
Sometimes I think about it. I know his likes, his dislikes, where he's from, his middle name, etc, but I feel like I do not know him enough for real. It doesn't scare me, because we have the perfect chemistry, but I want to know him more without crazy questions like a dating site!
Any tips? (link)
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ah I know what ya mean :P if you want to get to know him on a deeper level. Try asking him about his past. maybe bring it up like: "ah, I miss/do not miss being a kid, don't you? I had a great (or terrible childhood. what was your's like?"
The key is to offer something about yourself in order to get something in return, so that way he recognizes you trust him enough to open up to him, and therefore do the same. Even your deepest insecurity can help him open up. So if your doing a 20 questions thing, it doesn't have to be crazy..so like "what's your biggest fear? Mine is I won't reach my parents expectations)
(or whatever you want it to be)
Be patient with him, read his body language to. If he reacts uncomfortable around a subject then be careful. Having deep convos is great 'cause then the person reveals who they really are, their morals/ideas/values
good luck:)
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i went to a party ,it was in a hotel// and i kinda GOT LOST with this guy. and we were holding hands..oh by the way we were alone .. we were walking i sat on his lap. he tried to kiss me but i refuese. He was touching me and told me that he wanted to DO ME. then he was on top of me ohh nd we were on the floor. We didnt do nuthing. he was on top of me toching me and then well a guy came saw us i stoped stand up and i told him we should go back to the party..I WAS REALLY HAVING FUN WITH HIM ...So we went back to the party and like 10 minutes later i saw him kissing another girl and dis girl give him a hickie i acted like i didnt care.. thats why i dance with this guy we danced perreo and i kinda lap dance him...I KNOW he was looking. i talk to him on facebook and he said it was my decision if i wanted to do it with him...THAT MADE ME FEEL BAD. the he said some really nice words in facebook. but i dont know if that was for me or her!!! **my friend show me a message asking her if i liked him... idk please help me!! DOES HE JUST WANT ME FOR SEX?! OR WAT?!!! I REALLY LIKE THIS GUY!! but im afraid if i do it with him imight get pregnent!! i noe diz is really stupid. i been liking this guy for like 2 years already!!!!
OHH AND IM 15 YEARS OLD! (link)
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awh I'm so sorry :/ but yes he would just rather use you for sex. When you two were alone, if he really cared about you, he would NEVER take advantage of you, or kiss a girl right in front of you.
Weather he's "talking nice" to you on fb or off, then he's manipulating you, like a cheater does to get his girl back and win her over again. If I were you I would move on. There are so many respectful guys out there, just keep true to yourself and you'll attract the right ones.
In a way be grateful this happened, because NOW you know what he's capable of
And good for you for standing up for yourself :D that's tough, shows you what you really want and that you can keep a guy in line
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Well, we are both in high school and we recently started dating. We both like each other as much as we both can. Almost love. He recently told me he wasn't a virgin. And that kind of really bothered me. We are talking it out and I think I just need some time to get used to it. Naturally, I am a little bit insecure. But this just didn't settle well in my stomach. I guess I assumed he was a virgin because he's really sweet. And I should not have assumed this in the first place. But the girl he had sex with he says it wasn't good and short-lived. It was a few years ago and she told him he was her second which was a lie and he was actually her fourth. That concerns me because of STD's. Well, I'm not sure why I am reacting so badly to this usually I am pretty chill maybe it was the sudden shock of it that I wasn't expecting. I'm pretty tough to break and this just broke me. I never thought that it would matter. And it's actually really weird why this is upsetting me. We are talking about it and he feels really bad and I accept his apologies because I do like him so much still. And I will get over it. I just want to know is it normal how I am feeling? Or am I just being a p*ssy? Thanks, please be easy on me.
Forget abstinence that isn't any part of my question and not what I want to hear. I guess I'm just sad that we can't do this together. And that he won't think of it as special as I do. (link)
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Besides all your other feelings, you are probably feeling scared, and no you are not a wuss! This doesn't mean he's some player ready to break your heart. Even the nicest guys in the world aren't always virgins.
So what your feeling is normal. I think your expectations are a bit to high, like you expected him as some kinda clean cut never drank-smoke-had sex guy. Just remember that no guy is perfect and it could always be worse. If what the other girl says sounds shady/ off then don't listen to her, she's old news. And ALWAYS trust your gut so if you still like him, then dont be afraid
And you might be incredibly disappointed that he's not your "first". But that doesn't mean you can't do it with him ( even though I've been out of high school for only 2yrs I'm not encouraging you to have sex with him while still in highschool, but it's your choice) And there are many more guys out there that you can save to be your first.
I never had sex in high school 'cause I wanted/and still do to wait till marriage. So if the guy I marry has already done it, then I need to respect that
The relationship is what matters the most
good luck:)
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I know it sounds ridiculous but all I can think about at the moment is getting married. I haven't even got a boyfriend and I'm only 19 but it's got to the point where I am actually researching venues and dresses and planning it in my head.
I'm planning the next few years of my life based around when I want to meet my future husband, get engaged and get married. I'm putting far too much pressure on myself and it's starting to bother me. My friends have started to find it weird too and don't think it's a good idea to be so set on one thing but the idea of not getting married in the near future terrifies me.
How can I stop obsessing over this and stop worrying about it? (link)
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This is very normal, but you should stop :P life still has so much to offer and time has a way of working it's self out. Try and stay in the present. I am the same age as you are, and I want to experience gradually growing into an adult before I settle down, and I know I'm not ready to to walk the aisle. And you don't want to rush :P rushing usually leads to disaster because you really haven't "lived" enough to have an idea how to manage a HOUSE and MONEY on your own when the guy is far from ready to.
SO just stay in the present remind yourself the time will come, when it feels right, not when you feel you must make haste. Then think of what you have yet to experience; college, seeing more of the world and adult stuff like that. And try and imagine that if you were going to get married what responsibilities you will have to take care of: MONEY, JOB, POTENTIAL KIDS, RAISING KIDS, TRYING TO GO TO SCHOOL, A HOUSE, TAKING CARE OF THE HOUSE, HOUSE PAYMENTS...and ask if yourself if you are ready for all that
Also know that the guy you will merry is walking the earth as I type, and he will come in to your life when the time is right. good luck:)
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