I know it sounds ridiculous but all I can think about at the moment is getting married. I haven't even got a boyfriend and I'm only 19 but it's got to the point where I am actually researching venues and dresses and planning it in my head.
I'm planning the next few years of my life based around when I want to meet my future husband, get engaged and get married. I'm putting far too much pressure on myself and it's starting to bother me. My friends have started to find it weird too and don't think it's a good idea to be so set on one thing but the idea of not getting married in the near future terrifies me.
How can I stop obsessing over this and stop worrying about it?
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life? DetectiveFingerling answered Friday March 25 2011, 11:30 am: It's completely normal and it's okay to plan and figure out what you want now because trust me, when the time comes you'll want to be sure and you'll still change your mind a whole lot. It's good to look forward to the future and plan. I suggest you stop obsessing by making flexible plans. Consider the changes life could throw at you and consider the possibilities and plan based on that. It's great to have a "dream wedding" planned out because often the male in the situation doesn't care so much about the tiny details and would rather leave it all up to you. Instead of obsessing and trying to plan life so rigidly, be flexible. Have ideas and general preferences but not plans that are written in stone. Welcome spontaneity.
If you keep looking for things to pan out the way you plan them, you may miss an opportunity that was staring you in the face.
britZ67 answered Wednesday March 16 2011, 8:01 pm: This is very normal, but you should stop :P life still has so much to offer and time has a way of working it's self out. Try and stay in the present. I am the same age as you are, and I want to experience gradually growing into an adult before I settle down, and I know I'm not ready to to walk the aisle. And you don't want to rush :P rushing usually leads to disaster because you really haven't "lived" enough to have an idea how to manage a HOUSE and MONEY on your own when the guy is far from ready to.
SO just stay in the present remind yourself the time will come, when it feels right, not when you feel you must make haste. Then think of what you have yet to experience; college, seeing more of the world and adult stuff like that. And try and imagine that if you were going to get married what responsibilities you will have to take care of: MONEY, JOB, POTENTIAL KIDS, RAISING KIDS, TRYING TO GO TO SCHOOL, A HOUSE, TAKING CARE OF THE HOUSE, HOUSE PAYMENTS...and ask if yourself if you are ready for all that
Also know that the guy you will merry is walking the earth as I type, and he will come in to your life when the time is right. good luck:) [ britZ67's advice column | Ask britZ67 A Question ]
Xui answered Wednesday March 16 2011, 6:33 pm: Stop looking at venues and dresses
Lets look at reality; You can't plan your future. Not in that aspect at least.
When it happens, It happens. There is no rush and thinking ahead is not only going to stress you out but it could very well ruin it for you because you over thought the idea of marriage. Marriage is not something you should race or compete against. At 19, You are young and you have all the time to think about it. You don't even have a boyfriend yet and if you think about marriage constantly when you get a boyfriend it could scare him off a bit. Chill out, If you want to stop obsessing over it then you need to stop looking at things that will make you obsess over it. You are 19, I didn't get married until I was 24 and I will be fully honest with you marriage is a whole lot more then just buying a dress and walking down the isle. Don't rush things, Take it slow and be patient your time will come when it's supposed to happen. [ Xui's advice column | Ask Xui A Question ]
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