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My boyfriend isn't a virgin and I am.
Well, we are both in high school and we recently started dating. We both like each other as much as we both can. Almost love. He recently told me he wasn't a virgin. And that kind of really bothered me. We are talking it out and I think I just need some time to get used to it. Naturally, I am a little bit insecure. But this just didn't settle well in my stomach. I guess I assumed he was a virgin because he's really sweet. And I should not have assumed this in the first place. But the girl he had sex with he says it wasn't good and short-lived. It was a few years ago and she told him he was her second which was a lie and he was actually her fourth. That concerns me because of STD's. Well, I'm not sure why I am reacting so badly to this usually I am pretty chill maybe it was the sudden shock of it that I wasn't expecting. I'm pretty tough to break and this just broke me. I never thought that it would matter. And it's actually really weird why this is upsetting me. We are talking about it and he feels really bad and I accept his apologies because I do like him so much still. And I will get over it. I just want to know is it normal how I am feeling? Or am I just being a p*ssy? Thanks, please be easy on me.
Forget abstinence that isn't any part of my question and not what I want to hear. I guess I'm just sad that we can't do this together. And that he won't think of it as special as I do.
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Besides all your other feelings, you are probably feeling scared, and no you are not a wuss! This doesn't mean he's some player ready to break your heart. Even the nicest guys in the world aren't always virgins.
So what your feeling is normal. I think your expectations are a bit to high, like you expected him as some kinda clean cut never drank-smoke-had sex guy. Just remember that no guy is perfect and it could always be worse. If what the other girl says sounds shady/ off then don't listen to her, she's old news. And ALWAYS trust your gut so if you still like him, then dont be afraid
And you might be incredibly disappointed that he's not your "first". But that doesn't mean you can't do it with him ( even though I've been out of high school for only 2yrs I'm not encouraging you to have sex with him while still in highschool, but it's your choice) And there are many more guys out there that you can save to be your first.
I never had sex in high school 'cause I wanted/and still do to wait till marriage. So if the guy I marry has already done it, then I need to respect that
The relationship is what matters the most
good luck:)
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Hi, I'm old enough to be your grandfather and no I'm not going to preach to you about abstinence. That would be hypocritical. I hoping the wisdom of my age will be of some help to you.
First; before you have your first sexual intercourse I would like you to review the information you will find on the following website: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location).
I found this website when answering similar questions for other young ladies asking similar questions. I believe you find answers to questions here that you haven't asked.
As to the question you asked. We all mature at different ages and we all have a different set of values. For young boys between the start of puberty until say age 21 or 22 sex is driven mostly by lust which is driven by the hormones of puberty.
As for women be during or after puberty, sex always has to have an element of love. For that reason young ladies will be virgins longer than young boys. If your boy friend is also older than you by even a year or half a year it is very possible he would not be a virgin.
While it is nice to experience sex for the first time together it is also a little unrealistic the older you get. It is also a benefit to you if he is more experienced as he may be able to make your first time a better experience for you.
Your concerns about AIDS and STDs is well founded. To allay your fears on this you can ask him to get tested, either by his family doctor or at a free clinic.
One other thing I want to mention; when you do have your first sexual experience. Make sure you are someplace safe, someplace where you will not be disturbed and someplace you are comfortable. Make sure you are ready and your boyfriend does not rush. Tell him what you need. Show him how to touch you if you need more stimulation. This will make for a much better first experience.
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That's normal. He had sex and you didn't so you feel like things are uneven and it might not feel right. If you love him, you'll get past it but don't ever have sex until you are ready, regardless of your feelings for him.
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