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Ok here's the basics. I help people it's my thing. I'll answer all questions. Even simple ones. I give my opinion sometimes but you can ignore it.=) Im pretty nice ask me something and I'll tell you straight up!
advice
So I'm going to be 17 in 3 days and I've only been asked out three times and i've only had 1 boyfriend. Nobody asked me to prom last year. In fact I've never been asked to any dance or party.
People tell me i'm really pretty but I feel like the ugliest troll in the entire world.
I have to go back to school soon for my senior year and I start to cry even thinking about it because I know I'm going to be surrounded by over 1,000 gorgeous rich girls that make me look like a pile of trash.
I think everybody looks down at me because I'm short for my age and so they see me as a little kid (I'm 5ft exactly). Like I'll try to talk to the popular preppy girls and they'll just roll their eyes at me.
One of them talked to me once in my television productions class and I was so shocked that I asked her if she was talking to me or somebody behind me. I couldn't believe that they even noticed my existence.
I've tried dying my hair different colors (brown and blonde) and being as skinny as possible (I'm 75 pounds) and I put on makeup and dress nicely.
I try to be funny,smart and empathic and the friends I do have love me for it and people come looking for me to give them advice and a shoulder to lean on all the time.
When I got my senior portraits done the photographer told me I should be a model because I was so pretty.
I don't know what's wrong with me I must be some sort of freak. I feel so horrible about myself I just want to disappear.
I don't know what more I can do to make myself look like something more then a stepping stone.
I fear that I'm never going to amount to anything and that nobody will ever love me and that I'm either going to get murdered or that I'll live out my life completely alone and die without ever knowing what love is.
Please give me some advice.
Thank You so much.
Woah. It sounds like you have A LOT of self-esteem issues. Firstly if everyone thinks that you are beautiful and that you could be a model, they're not ALL lying. Secondly, the reason guys don't ask you out is because you're not confident. I don't have to know you to know that. I can see and hear it from this post. You feel invisible but do you do things to be noticed? Guys like confident girls who know what they want. You know that one "popular" girl in class who is always laughing and flirting with guys. She's not getting the guys because she's popular, she's popular because she knows how to get the guys. For example, I'm not the prettiest girl in my class, but I am the one who knows how to talk to people, I entertain people, I make them laugh and people like to laugh. They like to hang out with people who give them something to talk about or remember. If you feel like a piece of trash stepping stone, thats going to come out no matter what. I don't think the problem is your looks, its your personality. And please don't start feeling bad about your personality. Your biggest flaw is your lack of self-confidence and love for who you are which is really quite sad but much better than arrogance. I think the first thing you need to do is work on learning who you are and who you want to be and sticking to it. You need to learn that there are 6 billion people on this planet and you can't have all of them like YOU. You can't even guarantee that one of them will like you but what you can do is make sure YOU are the best possible person you can be. What is the use of a million people liking you if you don't like yourself. You said you have friends and you've had a boyfriend so obviously you are likable but you still feel like shit inside because you don't respect and love yourself. Instead of searching for OTHER people's love, give yourself some. I would look online for some ways to gain confidence and love yourself and some support groups because there are tons of people out there who just can't see how special they could be and what they have to offer the world. Good luck and I hope you find the beauty of not being perfect. xxx
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year now. I kinda screwed it up in the beginning by involving another guy. Its complicated and not going in depth about it. Anyways, things are a lot better now :) I'm finally beginning to feel like there is nothing to worry about. except this. He's been having these bad dreams a lot lately. Dreams about me cheating on him etc. I told him they were just bad dreams and that I would never ever do that to him. He believes me but he still has these dreams. He's getting really paranoid about them and i'm scared he will let these dreams get to him and break up with me. I'm looking at buying him a dream catcher to hopefully help get rid of the bad dreams. I've tried reassuring him that I'm insanely in love with him. But i'm just so worried about this now too. What should I do?? And why does he always have these dreams??
(Sorry for the long reply.) Personally when I worry a lot about something, I will most likely dream about it. For example, I'm deadly scared of mummies but fascinated by them at the same time. I made the mistake of watching a program about them on National Geographic complete with scary music and unnaturally low narrator's, three days later had a horrible nightmare about being trapped inside a pyramid with tens of thousands of them seeping through the walls and down the corridors to the last chamber in which I was stuck. Long story short, you should try talking to him about his worries and also telling him the more he worries the more dreams he is going to have. You can research more online with him about our daily worries or even simple encounters appearing in our dreams. One last example, I saw a simple status from an old friend that said "So happy today." Haven't really seen any posts from her in ages but that night I had a really random dream and she appeared in it for about 2% of the dream. It's normal for people to dream about things they've been thinking about so it's probably not the dreams you should be worrying about but the underlying feelings he's not showing you that is causing them. Good luck with everything! Maybe even show him this post to show how serious you are! xxx
This girl and i have been talking and going on dates for awhile now, and we have been basically an unoffial couple for over a year but have been extremly like one since december. In this time we go on dates, in which i pay, constantly, we see eachother a lot even if for 5 mins to get a jamba. We dont go to the same school so it makes it difficult to see eachother often but we manage. We call eachother baby and honey and act like a couple. We just went to prom together in March and have contiued to stay as we have been up to now. And i am planning on asking her to be my girlfriend. Yet recently she has been recontectting with this guy named brandon who she has been friends with from awhile, three years ago she liked him, a lot, and she says hes one of her bestfriends. she helped him get together with his last gf but was always trying to get closer to him I worry she is liking him again and that she is just dragging me along. I am really annoyed at her recently as she invited him to a prom at her church. She had asked him if he go on a date with her and he said yeah then she asked him and he was like no i dont want to but she was like i want you to be my date. I was kinda shocked that she had asked him and i became distant in my text messages after she told me. then she sends me this "Haha well I was gonna ask you but then you didn't seem like you had fun at your prom and so then the thing with brandon happened and I thought it'd be funny to ask him and go as friends lol he is gonna fight jd and tanner at once :D" and then we talked about how we did have fun and she was like yeah we both did. But it still annoys me she asked him and i am having troubles trusting him as a friend. What do yall think? what should i do? Im kinda lost and confused and hope im not overreacting.
I think the best thing is to tell her that you feel uneasy about her asking him and that you would have preferred her at least asking you first and if you didn't want to go you would of just told her. You should also tell her that you want her to be your girlfriend and if she's just messing around with you and she's not sure after an entire year of going on dates and you paying and calling each other baby and honey whether she wants to be your girlfriend or not and if she still likes Brandon that you don't want to be going on dates anymore because honestly if she does say she's not sure she's just dragging you around and trying to see if Brandon will go to her but keeping you around as a security blanket. Don't let her play around with you! But if she says that she didn't know you felt insecure and apologizes and everything is fine then well you have nothing to worry about! :) Hope I helped? Good luck!
When you've loved someone and have waited for them for seven years straight(continue to)--would this be considered as love or lust?
Love
So in a nutshell my spring break sucks.My parents both lost their jobs and we have had barely enough money to eat and get gas. We're in debt with so many family members and friends .On top of that ,my boyfriend broke up with me 4-5 days ago and went on vacation .so ive basically been a mental wreck.Crying as soon as I wake up because we barely have money to get by and because im missing my boyfriend who helped me with money when he could and obviously made me happy without money.I feel guilty because ive been using the gas in my car to pickup friends,go to the beach,drive around at night..just to get me out of the house so i don't focus on my ex boyfriend.What's something less expensive I could do to just get my mind off my ex and money? because if we had a lot of money it'd be soo much easier to be happy but we dont!
You can also try getting a job. Not only will you make some money, but you can meet new people and make friends with your co-workers. I actually met my current husband at starbucks before college and although we didn't date back then we ran into each other a few years ago and things just sparked. Look around and see what you can find! It may not pay the best, but at least its something. AND it's A LOT of fun!
So, me and my boyfriend have been dating for 10 months now. We're really good with one another, and he's unlike any guy I've ever met. We have a lot of differences, which is alright by me because I couldn't live without the guy. When we started dating, he was really into getting high. He does use it responsibly, but he wants to do it for the rest of his life. He claims it inspires him to write music, play guitar, and to be spiritual. I respect this. After a month of dating, I told him that him smoking bothers me (No, he didn't do it around me, I just don't support any kinds of drugs). He quit for awhile, but now it's awkward. Every time it gets brought up we get into an arguement. I'm just not sure what to do. His friends stopped talking to him because he stopped smoking, and he doesn't do what he used to anymore. It really hurts.. but I don't know if I could handle dating someone who does drugs. Can anyone please tell me what to do? Or if marijuana is really such a bad thing? Help please.
Well think about it in the long run. Even if you can learn to live with it now will you be able to in the future? I mean sure 10 months is a long time, but years? And what happens when you have kids? Do you really want a stoner being an example of their father. Nothing against people who do use drugs but there is a reason drugs are illegal. They aren't good for you and you have no control whilst using them. If you really can't get past this and it's hurting you maybe its time to find someone who you can really share passion with in your differences. Not just learn to live with them. For example I when my boyfriend drinks and doesn't come home early to be with me. He hates fighting about me always giving him shit for hanging out with his buddies. Now he haves guys night at our house and I can come alone if I want to but I just like knowing he's in the house so I leave him alone? Do you see what I mean? there really is only a hot or cold with drugs though so maybe you should think if all this hurting and worrying is worth your boyfriend and you should think about where your relationship is going if anywhere? Hope I helped! :/ xxx
hey , so theres this guy thats been one of my good friends for 2 years. and we KNOW we both like each other. alot. but i've heard he still likes his ex. we would act like we're together, eve though we're not. when he liked me alot last year, he didnt want to ruin our friendship. but now since i want us to be together, i dont know what i should do. help please !
Well I was in the exact same situation! I really fell for my bestfriend and he had just broken up with his ex. I thought it would be okay for us to get together but he said he wasn't ready. Anyhow long story short I waited and waited for him to get over her and he waited and waited for me to tell me I liked him and now we're not friends and he's dating his ex again but everyone tells me he still talks about me constantly! Lesson here is don't let the moment pass by! Either way you might lose your bestfriend but the reward is way greater. You could be more than bestfriends, you could have a real connection! IF your friendship is strong enough than you'll still be friends if he rejects you, although from what you've written I doubt he will. Just be straight up and ask him "Hey so what's the deal? I like you and I wanna be together etc." Don't let the moment slip pass because you'll regret it! So maybe you'll lose your friendship but if your friendship is going to end so easily, especially when you both KNOW you like each other than it can't have been that strong in the first place... I really hope you're really happy and that everything works out better than what happened with me! I personally can tell you I really regret never asking him about it again! Goodluck! :)
I am a 16 year old female. I like a guy who is 21. What do I do? I've been told he likes me too. But thats a big age difference.
Age doesn't matter if you actually like him. I mean you not going to let a couple numbers stop you are you? Just don't have sex and your alright. =)
Recently my best friend (I'll call her Kelly) hasn't been allowed to hang out with me and our group of friends much because her mom is really strict. My boyfriend, who, as of tomorrow, I will have been with for 2 months, is in this group and always has been. I feel like my boyfriend has a crush on Kelly though. Whenever I'm with my boyfriend he will usually have his arm around me or something but when Kelly is there he won't at all (we walked probably a good 3 miles all together going somewhere and he hardly touched me). He teases her a lot too. This guy James who we all recently became friends with (BECAUSE he likes Kelly) hangs around with us a lot now and still really likes Kelly too. I love Kelly but her overwhelming cuteness is so threatening I don't know what to do. I don't want to become one of the annoying girlfriends who is always like "OMG do you like her!?" so I would rather not go to my boyfriend to ask. But should I be so concerned? I feel really worried about it. I mean all of yesterday when Kelly was there I felt really unloved but as soon as she left my boyfriend was back to how he normally is with me. Maybe I'm exaggerating. Nobody else has said anything to me but I have thought about it for a good amount of time and it seems very possible.
Sorry for rambling. I just love this boy and all I want is him to love me (and only me) too.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with talking to your boyfriend. Confront him because if your thinking it and you were not with anyother girl than your girl instints are probably right. Talk to kelly to. I know this is cheesy but conversation is like the key to sucess haha. Really once you've got your feeling out in the open it gives you another perspective that can maybe solve the problem and put your mind at ease. You are soo right though. OMG do you like her immediatly is a red flag for a guy so try something less blunt. Let him know that you want to have a talk. Get him to make eye contact or know that you has his full attention and then say I love you very much so I just want to know. Do you have feelings for kelly and make it clear that nothing really bad is going to happen if he tells the truth. He got with you not your bestfriend so the chances of him breaking up with you if it turns out that he likes kelly is very small. In the case that he does think about the pro's. If he is in love with another girl and he prefers her over you then there is no point in being in a relationship where your companion does not truly think the world of you. If he likes kelly just for her cuteness then he's swallow and will probably never commit to you if he tells you he does have feelings for her. On the other side it could be absolutely nothing and kelly could totally reassure you that she would never go behind your back with him. =) Sorry I know its a ridculously long answer but sometimes you got to explain as clearly as possible. Hope I helped =) Tell me how it goes or if there's is a problem in this answer thank you!
okay so i have just gotten over this one guy that i have liked for a bit and all and i am all good now with that. but now there is a new guy in my summer school class and for the past two weeks we have been having a really good time. he is the type that will come up to me and talk to me and he is a REALLY big flirt and i like that. anyways well my one friend met him in person and said that we would be really cute together and she liked him(friend way) and that she knows that he likes me or watever. and then my other friend went on his myspace and decided that he was a player and that he probably isnt the best. now i dont know what to do i mean i am beginning to really like this guy and i have no clue what to do. i dont think he is a player and he is realy sweet but my friend is determined that he isnt good. any suggestions?? thanx!!1
You know what when a friend you've known longer than this guy tells you he's a player than listen. Of course thats always hard to do so find out for yourself. Go over to your friends and decide if his myspace suggests a player or not! Two friends have different opinions. I would follow the opinion of the girl who has more advice after I have made a decision about it too! Hope I helped. =)
16/f
My first and last boyfriend was almost a year ago. And i know you shouldn't need a boyfriend to be happy but i have a big group of friends only 2 of them are single and i just feel really left out. We always hang out and its all couple except me and the 2 other girls(who by the way don't like me,long story). I just want that someone. and i dont know what to do. I'm sorta shy when i first meet people, or i just right off the bat think they don't like me. What should i doo!?
I COULD KICK YOU!XD Don't take that the wrong way haha sorry sorry!Let me explain. Your problem is soo simple! It is your confidence! Guys like the girls that are out there. I had the same problem until one day I walked up to a cute guy said your missing something me! Then I said just kidding and he asked me out right there! Be confident! Act like your the prettiest girl in the room and you have the greatest personality! Guys may seems shallow but they go for a girl who looks like she'd be hard to tame! Guys like girls that don't seem desperate to talk to them and they hate clingy in my experience! They like girls who look like they don't need someone else to make them whole!
im 15/f. never had a boyfriend or kiss :(. i feel like time is running out for me to just experiment. like i never got to go through that phase of a boyfriend for a week and then dump him. (not that i really wanted to.) i feel like by time i get a boyfriend, he'll be expecting more from me than i've experienced. im not going to let him pressure me into doing anything but im just saying. i really dont even know what im asking advice for, but i guess i just need help on how to cope with this situation?
Haha girl trust me! College is exploration world! Your not running out of time your time has just began. I've been there done that! Hunnie your going to gain so much experience by the time your out of college you'll be laughing at yourself for ever thinking you were running out of time. Kids in college don't always care if you've got what they want! They'll teach you hwo to do it!XD Those crazy kids! You'd be surprised but if your really worried just go up to a cute guy and be yourself and get that boyfriend you need! Hope I helped! =)
theres this guy i like, hes one year younger than me and hes really hot. whenever i hang out with him outside of school (which is hardly ever) we flirt alot with eachother. but at school we flirt a little bit but then he flirts with other girls aswell. then one night he started texting me and some how we ended up talking dirty to eachother and we dirty texted eachother every night after that and now i really like him. but still at school he doesnt act any different. well my question is how can i tell if hes just doing this for fun or if he likes me?
yes same thing as before he's embarrased thats not cool! u deserve better =)
How do i talk to my crush without making a fool of myself. Im 14 a female and hes 16 male and i would like to talk to him but dont know how.
Well. If you have any friends that are guys which is very likely then like that. Be confident and cool. If it helps you could plan what you say first. Don't laugh really hard at everything he says because most likely he'll think your very weird. Don't keep staring at him if your in a group. Try to become friends first get to know eachother like you do with other guys. You'll do fine! Just don't act really nervous and act like he's lucky you even talk to him. You cool,confident and sexy! Hope I helped.
My boyfriend and i are spending the night together, but we can't think of where to sleep. My house is out and so is his. Any suggestions?
Ask a friend? I can't think of anyother safe place or person to ask.Sorry! I think you have to be 18 to get a motel! Hope I helped! =)
one of my best friends lives about 5 hours away from me. one time when her best guy friend was over he saw my myspace on her top friends and said that i was pretty. so she told me and i added him to my myspace. we started talking, but just small talk stuff. when i went to visit her i saw him twice, but didn't get to hang out with him or really talk to him. ever since i came back we've been talking more and more (i visited her at the beginning of april)
i think i really like him, and i think he likes me but i don't know what to do. he lives 5 hours away and i would normally just be friends with him but i'm VERY picky with guys and have turned down at least 6 in the last year. I actually like this guy but i don't know what to do. i would only be able to see him maybe once a year...
If you think it would work out seeing him only once a year than go for it. Just remember long distance relationships are hard and you should have a talk with him before you go ahead all eager and end up getting your heart cracked in half. No one's perfect so don't be tooo picky but I know what you mean. There is NO prefect guy just one that fits you so if he fits you go for it but think about what your doing! I hope I helped it's kind of a emotional question and those are always hard to answer =)
My girlfriend how I am hopelessly in love with is going to a party tonight and I can't go; and there will be alcohol there and she loves to get drunk...I trust her with my whole heart but when shes drunk she loses control of what she does and she has told me stories of how she got drunk and she made out with guys...she promised me that nothing would happen and we tell each other EVERYTHING!! I just want to know what you guys think will happen if she gets drunk and how can I find out if anything DID happen?
thanks guys
Tyler
Alright Tyler. She said nothing would happen so nothing should happen but she is drunk and when your drunk the part of your brain that tells you if your doing something right or wrong switches off. I watch discovery channel =P. Anyways if she has been drunk before than she knows this when she goes to the party. If she cheats on you you definetaly have a right to get angry with her but forgiving her is what could make her a little more responsible next time she decides to go out. Now you have to trust her! She's your girlfriend. To found out if she did anything ask people who went to the party. Information is going to pop out accidently or on purpose. No one keeps there mouth shut these days but the first person you should ask is her and don't interogate her! Tell her you trust her but just want to know from her if anything happened. =) Hope all goes well for you. Any other problems ask!
I love my girlfriend very much..... I need to know how wrong i was here
There was this other girl that i was very good friends with that recently lost her boyfriend i left a comment on her myspace saying "hey dont worry ur hot u'll find another boyfriend in no time"
My girlfriend saw this and got very mad at me...I told her that it was nothing and i was just being a friend and trying to make her feel better. my girlfriend didnt believe me and said "u need to comment her physically to make her happy??"
Next I posted some bulletin on myspace it was some application thing for girls to be my girlfriend. I was trying to be cute with my girlfriend i wanted her and only her to answer it...but this girl who i commented also answered it...saying that she wants to do stuff with me...I ignored it and my girlfriend asked if this girl replied I lied and sed no...I didnt want my girlfriend to get upset I didnt want to hurt her...my girlfriend found out and almost broke up with me because I lied and she thought something might be going on btwn me and this girl....I DONT WANT THAT!!!! How wrong was I? Did my gf overreact?
Alright don't panic. This is commom a series of things has been making you look like the not so great boyfriend. Buy her some flowers and tell her your really sorry. Then explain to her keeping your voice very sincere and calm don't raise it as if your desperately trying to tell her something. This makes some girls nervous like your trying to cover up something. Tell her calmly and surely that you do not not not want anyone else but her and that you did it so that she would feel better about herself. Tell her you care about her a lot and you really are not thinking about cheating on her and next time you post a bulletin only for her then put on the top (her name)answer! alritey. If it doesn't work tell me. Btw the flowers can be substituted for something else she likes. For example a pair of warm socks her favorite color!lol I don't know. Girls find it sweet when guys put thought into there gifts! Hope I helped!
heyy im nikki and im 13
well i have a really cute and hot boyfriend and he tells me to come meet him which fine ... but i get very bord like all my boyfriends i have put there arms around me and kiss my neck and all that and hook up with me and stuff but this one hugs and kisses me but how do i tell him to put his hands arnd me ?? is he fridget to hook up with me coz hez like to me "don't be fridget, lol" and im not ..should i be making the first move or should he ??
Look if you don't want to just tell him to put his arms round you then you can sort of be flirty. Throw his arms round you and kiss him. This usually heats things up a little and is a little less your doing something wrong if you know what I mean. It's always fine for girls to make the first move. If he's not getting it than you go for it. I've never met a guy who said oh no too much body contact lol. Just be sure that you don't come off like a tiger ready to pounce! Hope I helped =)