Short_N_Punky's advice column | Short_N_Punky's Advice About Love Life

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Q: Me and my boyfriend have been together for a while now and he's asked me if I would like to have sex with him, we are both at the legal age of 16. I want to do this but I don't feel confident at all with my body, I'm not sure how he would want me to look. I feel embarresed about doing it and if it would be awkward, what do I do? Just sit there and let him do the work? I'm not sure if he would want me to shave or not, I would have sex with him but I'm just not confident yet, I feel as if I am ready, I want to be confident!
Someone please help me! :)

First thing is first if yall have been together for a very long time he already loves you for how you are so your body doesnt matter. Second it feels awkward sometimes painful when you dont shave. Next if you dont feel very comfy yet turn the lights off, and do it at night. If you dont want to be on top just let him know your feelings about certain things that you are nervous about the situation but you want to try. Last the most important piece of info wear protectection you are only 16 and it only takes one time to get pregnant! Good luck

Q: You answered my question.. But i want to ask that we both are virgin .. And she is not going through menses ... Then what should i do ?? Which test she have to go for ?? Or which med should she uze ?? Is she really going towards preganancy ??

So you both are virgins, she should go to her obgyn they can give her a check up... may i ask is she on any birth control?

Q: My gf is not suffering from menses since 1 month she blamed me that i make love with her so thats y she is not suffering from menses ?? But we both ate virgin .. Advice some medication

Suffering from menses? ate virgin? Im not quit sure what this question is but if you are worried about pregnancy, then she should take a test or go to the obgyn.

Q: Husband has a wierd fetish and I dont comply he said that im boring. I really want to have sexual relations with another man only because I do not like what he likes. We have been together for a really long time and we have children together but I am not truly in love with him anymore. I love the fact of having a family but being him makes me ill. I do not like what he likes at all. Im going out of my mind. I dont want to break up my family but we dont even get along anymore. He promises me things and never fallows through. My kids are happy and I thought isnt that important. I dont know try to live a good life. Im not happy though. What to do?

You should end the realtionship, it isnt fair to anyone in the situation including the children involved for you two to be together if you dont get along anymore. Eventually the children will notice you dont love each other nor like each other and they will soon be unhappy.

Q: i have this boyfriend we have been going together for about 2 years and we have a brought up sex a lot. i told him that i wanted to wait and he totally fine with that but when we talk about he says that he doesn't want to wait and i sometimes say the same thing what should i do

Well i have a few questions for you: Are you both currently employed? How old are you? Are you both stable on your feet? and can you support a child? Next are you prepared for your relationship to change because sex changes a relationship regardless of how in love you are i would honestly wait. But, it depends on what you plan your future to be.

Q: So, my boyfriend and I haven't been dating for very long and we decided to NOT have sex for a longgg time down the road. Which I think is great! But we're young and live with our parents and stuff. I mean we do things like dry humping and touchy feely and things like that but I get soo paranoid that someone's going to walk in or say something. My opinion is we're not having sex, we are being responsible but we DO have hormones! What do you think? Do you really think our parents would freak out? Do you think what we're doing is okay?

My advice to you is going to be much different then others, i am 20 years old so am one of the younger advisors. To answer your questions, yes what you and your boyfriend are doing is AWSOME your decision is very mature and great, alot of young people these days including myself jump into bed and have kids at a young age. But you have chosen to play safe which is the good way to go. Now on the parent fact i honestly i dont think that your parents will have a big issue with it depending on your age they probably expect you to make out, parents arnt stupid and definatley not blinde. What i would do is noone has to know your personal business, just respect your parents while doing so. As the walking in fact they may r they may not chances are they probably wont. But if they do sit down with them and explain that you are not plaining on having sex until you are older. They will be proud of you ad themselves. Or plain B would be you and your boyfriend sit down with both sets of parents and explain to them you care for eachother very much and you dont plain on having sex. I would go for plain A personally. Hope iv helped let me know how things turn out.

Short N Punky

Q: Long story short: I fall for a guy. The guy ends up using me for physical stuff. I pretend I've completely gotten over guy. I'm a lier.
Guy once told me the hottest woman alive is this actor who once was one that 70's show. All I know about her is that she has red hair, and she's not DONNA. Does anyone have a clue? Or is there a complete list of all the guest stars they've had on the show somewhere? Cause I actually would waste whole weekend checking out all their pictures to see what he considered beuatiful. Although, technically, "I'm over him and don't care". Yeah.... right.

No offence but why would you care? beauty is on the inside not on the out and if he cant see that hes not worth your time. I know what you mean when you say your over someone but your lying to yourself. Its hard!

Q: 14 male and shes 15 female

Ok well we use to be right in love untill she dumped me for alot of reasons. The she wanted me back but I was at the movies with her and I drank some it made her angry with me. Then that night i got supper drunk and wanted to cover it up and my sister helped me, bad idea I know. Anyway she liked me again and then that night my little sister came and told her the truth, not really a bad thing but it completly messed it up. Anyways then one of my freinds dies and I was going through a rough time and my best freind Jake is talking it even worse, even though he didnt know him that well but kindoff well. Anyways for the past week I have been stuck trying to help my best freind and help things with her too. And today I was getting picked on by my freinds and they took my hat outta my bag and she called me up and was like "i know who has your hat" and all this shit. She said she was trying to be flirty, but I was a real jerk I called her relly pathetic and imature, I was supper pissed and I barely get made over anything. So here comes my question. How do I show her I can be the guy she wants to be with the rest of her life? like in her msn she put "thoughts are very beutiful things but actions speak louder incase you havent heard" or something like that. But I want to make her show im willing to do any and everything to be with her, so what are some sweet things I can do to show her this? She also thinks im fruity to, but I dont know, I just need some sweet things to say and do. But she is hard to convince like really hard she is not going to accept bull shit! but she has told me maybe 5 times she is moving on but everytime I screw up she says im done or something like that:s But I just think that is her secret way of saying "I really want to be with you, I just really need you to try harder for me"

It seems to me you already know the answer to this question. You just havnt figured it out yet, the answer is exactly what you said try hard... dont drink so much i know that one is hard for me. Explain to her that you need to help your friend out right now through a hard situation but can we hang out later? if she really likes you just being sweet to her will be good. But it seems that she really doesnt like your drinking habits. Anyways hope iv helped a little bit. Id love to hear how it turns out email me back.

Short N Punky

PS. if she doesnt understand that you are trying to help a friend in need she really aint worth it.. girls come and go friends are for life!

Q: About 3 weeks ago i had a fling with this guy named cody(i don't know his last name) and now he goes to my school. (I'm bisexual and engaged to a girl.) He even has classes with my girlfriend, but for some reason he won't talk to me. I mean he will talk to my girlfriend and he will talk to my other friend who was with me the night i slept with him. I don't understand why he won't talk to me. Before we has sex we even said that it was nothing special and that neither one of us wanted a relationship from it. (I had a carwreck that night and just wanted comfort) but now he won't talk to me. Why will he not talk to me? Please help me! We were fine the morning after, so why won't he talk to me now? Sorry so long!

~~~HBA~~~

I otally agree on your title that your not a slut it was casual. But anyways back to the question i believe that he wont talk to you now maybe because he feels shy and weird around you because of it. You should go up and just talk to him, then he wont feel so self concious. Alot of guys feel weird around girls after they have sex with them. Just reasure him that you still wana be friends. Hope iv helped a little bit and ill love to hear what happeneds email me back.

Short N Punky

Q: I couldn't really pick a category that fit my question very well. Anyway, here it goes: (Bear with me, it will be long.)

I found out about four months ago that I am pregnant. At the time, I was just 15 but I am 16 now. My mom is fine about it, because she and I are very close and she understands me. My dad was upset, but he is better now. My boyfriend is 19 years old. He wants to be fully involved in the baby's life as well as mine.
The main problem is that my dad (Whom I live with; my parents are divorced) is very controlling. He barely even lets me see my boyfriend, and even insists that the baby's last name isn't after the father. I think this entirely unfair.
Anyway, the question is this: My baby is due in May and my boyfriend and I want to live together... We want to have our own apartment, just him, the baby and me. This could be done; he has a good job and I am going to finish school even after the baby is born.
Being that I am a minor, I don't know how I can do this. I want to leave and be with my boyfriend and baby once the baby is born. I know that I am legally considered an adult if we were to be married, but I am too young, aren't I? Is there any way I can move in with my boyfriend? My mom would give me consent, but I highly doubt my dad would. Please help.

Ok.. this is very simple and easy to answer but its a hard answer to hear. I was in pretty much almost the same situation as you are in but its a little bit different. Babies are real hard to handle just you and your boyfriend you need someone with you that actually knows what there doing. Dont mean to sound rude or anything. But to get right down to it hun your answers are this: Being that you are a minor it is your parents responsibility till you are 18 to take care of you, i mean you can move out but if they call the cops or for some un known reason want you back they have the power to pull you back. Also emancipation only works if you can support yourself.. and if it is terrible such as beatings and such going on with your parent. Also for your final question you have to legally be 18 to get married without parental consent the hard thing is even though your parents are split up they both have to give consent. Its very weird how the law works.. when i was 16 with my son my parents told me i could move out and they called the cops after i did and told them to bring me back just because they wanted me to. Emanciption most states forget about that all together because most got rid of it. But laws are also different in different states itsa confusing process. I hope iv helped a little bit if you have any questions feel free to write back, and id love to hear how your situation turns out keep in touch..

Short N Punky
PS. congrats on the pregnancy

Q: can u just make-out without using your tongue... and just your lips?

yes you can, make out without using tongue, but you have to kiss longer not quick pecks. But to answer your question yes you can. Hope iv helped ya a little bit sorry its so short. If you need anything else just write back.

Short N Punky

Q: How does one make out?
I know you use tongue and stuff, but I want to know actually how to. I wouldn't feel comfortable asking any of my friends or my mom. Any techniques would be good to.

i know know to fake kiss....

(:

Please don't give me any websites, just advice. Thanks : ]

Oh wow hun i dont mean to laugh at this but there really isnt a way to teach you how to makeout. You know how to french kiss? its a combination of that and just regular kissing and pecks and shit. run your fingers through there hair or caress there neck while doing it and never keep your eyes open. Its not really a science and i dont mean to be rude if i am sounding it sorry. But there isnt a way to teach you how to makeout go with your gut. Hope iv helped a little.
Always
Short N Punky

Q: When you tell a guy he's handsome and really good lookin and he says it was good to see you too. What does that mean?
Does he like you or not.....is he just being difficult?

Its basically just saying thankyou.. you look pretty good to, or he might like you it really depends on what he says and how he says it. Its more of just a compliment back, you gave one to him hes returning the favor.

Q: I been dating my boyfriend for sometime now. I am only 15 and he is 16. we made a mistake and have a son together now who is 3 months old. my boyfriend has lied so much to me. he disappeared for weeks at a time with out telling me where he was going or when he be back or with out even calling. he told he was going to sleep before but left his house and stayed at this girls house who liked him and his ex girlfriend lived there to. i try over and over again to forgive him but we keep fighting i forgave him all those times and never broke up with him. because i love him and i want him to around for his kid. he dropped out of school he gets fired from every job because he doesnt go to work because he is to tired his son is scared of him because he is never around i dont know what to do anymore please help

Alright listen.... first of all the person above me dont listen to them. A restraining order? come on now has he hit you? has he abused you or your child? then that is a little harsh. But yes you should break it off with him and get him for child support. Never deprived the father of his rights to see the child because when he grows up hes going to wonder and my friends and stuff without a father alot of my family members grew up without a father and it tares them apart. my friend he isnt allowed to see his son and it hurts him. Dont ever deprive the father or the child the right unless he hurt the child or you and your scared for the well fare of the life. If you do deprive them of the right to know each other your just as bad as him. I know its a hard truth but it is the truth break it off with him and get him in court to settle it legally. Your better off without. Hope iv helped a little write back.
Always
Short N Punky

Q: I really want to talk to guys more, make more guy friends and get them to like me. How should I act/dress, etc to do this? Esp. get them to like me and make more guy friends. It's really important and I need to know ASAP! Like at parties and in school, too. Don't say be yourself, just answer my question! Thanks a load!!!

Hmmm... well if you dont want me to say be yourself than there is nothing to say. Guys liek a girl to be themselves they dont want no fake prissy gitty up girl. I have alot of guy friends dont be real girly oh my god around them they get annoid with that real easy. Walk up to them and start talking they will talk back if they dont think your to stupid. And as for your dress wear what you normally wear if you want wear baggy pants and a tight shirt. I guess what im trying to say is dont be fake because they dont like girls who are fake they want a real girl. But not a real girly girl. Hope iv helped a little write me back id love to find out about the situation.

Short N Punky

Q: 13/f
Okay there is this guy that I have liked for 3 years and sometimes I get mad at him for saying or doing things but then I fall in love with him again. I really like this guy and I asked him out once last year and this year of school in the beginning and both times he said no. Now my friends keep on trying to get me to ask him out again and what should I do?

No offence hun but its obvious that he doesnt want to go out with you. Just leave him alone and maybe in his time hell find a way that hell start likeing you just hang around him become his friend first. That always works out just show your true side be flirtatious if you have ot but a tip just be his firend first. Hope iv helped write back id love to know how it went.

Short N Punky

Q: Hes 16. I'm 14. I really like him. He thinks of me more as a little sister. What can I say for him to get me to like me.. as in girlfriend material.

You cant make anyone love you or want to be with you thats against there free will. If hes going to fall in love with you or even in like with you as a girlfriend then he has to make that decision himself. You can try to wear skimpy clothes and shit but that would just make you look like a slut and he def. wouldnt wana date you at least for the right reasons. Hope iv helped a little write me back id love to find out how it went.

Short N Punky

Q: Okay, there is this guy. He is extremely hot, but he doesn't notice me. i mean like I'll go up to the person next to him and talk to them, and then I guess he kind of flirts with me. But like he is the bad boy lol. He told one of his friends he would never date me because he would be a "bad influence." But its terrible because he like plays with my hair and doesn't let me pass when i go by him and all that junk. So how can I get him to notice me as well not a goody girl lol.
P.S. I'm not a slut so don't suggest it.

Well my one nd only peice of advice to you is dont do anything to try to be a "bad girl". Be yourself and hell notice you then it probably isnt that he is a bad influence on you it might just be that he doesnt like you in more than a friend way. If i was him i wouldnt be bragging about being bad thats so immature, when i was in eighth grade i used to run the streets and i was going to the police station practically every night. The way i was heading i was either going to turn up dead or in jail for life. Sometimes i think id like to go back but than i remember how i felt and how my family and friends felt. And i dont want to go back. My husband i met him at the end of eighth grade when he was my boyfriend and he is my savior. He literally saved me from death. I wouldnt like you turning up like that and im sure your friends and family wouldnt like it either. Just be yourself and if he likes you for whwo you are thats great but if he cant except that you are who you are than hes not a guy you want anyways. Hope iv helped a little listen to your heart and your head be sensable.

Short N Punky
Ps. Write me abck i would love to hear how it turned out.

Q: so i had this boyfriend that i met through my bestfriend. they had a fling. but it ended. and he turned to me. i really actually grew to love him. but we broke up for a week. that is when i found out that my "bestfriend" asked him back out. and he couldnt say no. i felt like it was because im terrribly ugly or something. because shes kinda sorta pretty. then he dumped her for me. and we went out for about a month. keep in mind hes 2 years older than me. i thought we were really happy. like hes really sweet. he told me that he wanted to marry me and actually proposed(with a ring from a little toy dispencer it was so effing cute!) he said that he planned on spending the rest of his life with me. and he wanted to have kids with me. but all of a sudde a couple of days ago, he said that he tought that we needed a break. but this isnt a break up. like he tells me that he loves me still. and that we will bw together again. but he keeps talking to my "bestfriend". like telling her that he loves her too. and stupid shit like that too. but he told me today that he wants me to wait for him. like wait a week for him to collect his thoughts. but i dont know if i can wait. what should i do? advice would be greatly appreciated. im 14/f
thanx all

Alright first of all hes not really "in love" with you hes playing with your mind. Another peice of advice either you can take it or not but i believe he is tryi ng to get both you and your friend arguing dont let that happen. Friends come before boyfriends trust me this has happened to me before i lost many friends over stupid things guys say. If you keep away from him for a while and think it over than youll surley come to the conclusion that all hes doing is playing you both. Sorry i couldnt help so much but i hope i helped a little and write me back i would love to hear about it turning out.

Short N Punky

Q: wel i use to like this guy lets say his name is tom and he is asian like me but when he found out i liked him he goes up to me and says i don't like you i like only white and black people and i mean that hurt he judged me so easily because of my culture and then i got this dream i kissed my ex like we were bf and gf lets say his name was apples and i loved him alot but we've both moved on (i think) and all of a sudden these days he kalls me after skewl and then calls me once mre at night time and he always wants me to go on the transit bus with him what does that mean does he still have feelings for me? do i have feelings for him from that dream? but then theres this other guy lets say his name is grim he is soo nice and cute and he always wants me to sit beside him and he loves teasing me does that mean he likes me? that guy that judged me so easily i liked him alot what does that mean? do i have bad taste? should i just stay single? oh please help!!
-thank you

No offence hun but you have major drama issues, I think the dream just means that you are confused about who you like and your ex oyfriend coming up to you and calling you, wanting to hang out, maybe he just wants to be friends. I mean thats what it sounds like to me. Your not in the wrong and you dont have bad taste but if that other guy that likes teasing you likes you for who you are than go for him. The one who judged you his name was tom? i believe just leave him alone because he sounds like the type of person who is denial and is to quick in judging he should just get to know the persons personality before talking bad.
Hope iv helped a little, write back and tell me how things went i would love to know.

Signed
Short N Punky

bio

Hey, my name is Kelley, a little bit about my life: Im 24 i have a 4 year old daughter, when i was younger i got into alot of trouble because i felt unwanted and picked on alot in school. As i grew up i got into several bad abusive relationships. Now that i have gotten out of my old life im crawling up from the ashes and making a new life. Im a great listener and i love giving advice, if youd like to give me a shot id try my hardest to give the best advice i can give. The reason some people dont like me is because i tell it how it is i dont sugar code anything and im very opinionated. Id love to listen to your problems and help out that best i can.