I'm a laid-back person; easy to talk to; if you need advice, just ask away and I promise to get back to each and everyone of you...My name is Ellen; I go by Elle for short, and I love meeting new people :D
E-mail: lenachka22@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Pennsylvania
Occupation: Student
Age: 15
AIM: J U 1 C Y x lipz
Yahoo: L0VELLE06
Member Since: July 2, 2004
Answers: 57
Last Update: January 25, 2005
Visitors: 6504
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I am an 18 year old girl and my boyfriend is 17. In the beginning of our relationship aka before we had sex, he was soo nice to me but now he seems to get mad at everything i do. i've been going out with him for 1yr and 3mon. he took my virginity and he's pretty much my 1st real relationship(i really love him). i resently found out he cheated on me one night when he was mad at me and got drunk. i decided to give him one chance. soo anyways my question is how do i help him from getting mad at EVERY LITTLE thing i do? and stop him from getting phyical sometimes? my mom says to break up with him but i feel that u shouldn't run from problems cuz he'll just get worse and probably hurt someone else. i should help him with his problem, right? and that why we could still be together. and thats what i want, is to be with him. (link)
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well here's the thing.
you can't help a person who doesn't want help. if he doesn't make that first step of allowing you to help him then there's absolutely nothing you can do.. if he gets physical with you -that's the first and most important sign to get out of that relationship.. you're not helping him or yourself by staying in it. if he got drunk because he was mad at you - it doesn't matter.. when a person is drunk they still realize what they're doing.. and if he cheated on you bc he got mad at you - that's the second sign to get out of that relationship.. also... i think he might just be with you only for the sex. if he was so nice to you before- he probably just wanted to get you to have sex with him, which is why now, when he got what he wants, his true colors are shining through.. you don't deserve to be treated this way, believe me. he doesn't deserve you if he treats you like crap, cheats on you, gets mad for little things, and gets drunk and abusive.. he obviously needs help - but professional help... and that's something you can't help him with, because you're not a professional and because there are feelings involved.. my advice to you is to get out of the relationship while you still can... he might turn around and realize what he's done- so keep an eye on him, if you see changes in his behavior.. like improvements, then you can give it another shot- but ONLY when you see changes.. don't just take his word for it.. good luck & stay safe & keep your eyes open. don't get sucked into an oblivious bubble where you only see waht you want to see & how you want people to appear. reality is a bummer. but i wish you the best & i hope i helped & let me know how things go.. =]
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my friend and her boyfriend (both 18yrs old have been going out for 1 yr and 7 mon. but the guy broke up with her 3 weeks ago and now he tells her he doesnt want a relationship because he says its to stressful. my friend is really depressed and really loves him. do u think he will get back with her? what can she do to show him she not about stress just about giving him love and care for him and be a loyal friend? (link)
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hey.
well the best thing to d is give him what he wants, which i think is space. if you just crowd around him pleading for him to come back [not you, your friend, i mean] then he'll just prove his point more by saying its too stressful having her on his back all the time. all she can do is give him some space- do her own thing [DO NOT HOOK UP WITH OTHER GUYS AND THROW IT IN HIS FACE.. that's not doing your own thing] just hang out with friends, show him you can have a fun, clean time without him - and he'll remember why he went out with her in the first place. he'll see what he's missing in his lief without her and he'll come back to her wanting it again - all the happiness and fun to take away his stress that she obviously isn't causing him.. hopefully. so just stick to that plan - and ride out the wave.. you never know what could happen.. it's either definitely over, which she'll be able to recognize if that's the case [for example if he hooks up with a different girl more than once]or he'll come back.. if he just hooks up with a diff girl one time and that's it.. don't get mad about it- well just don't let him know you're mad about it. remember.. you're not together anymore- and if it's just a one time deal.. and he doesn't do it again then he's obviously realized he wants only you. good luck & i hope i helped. let me know how things go =]
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ok this might be long. i went out with this boy a while back probably a year ago and we broke up because he kissed a girl. but he told me..and then like about a month ago his brother and my sister started going out. and they want to get married. ahh and this boy and me started talking again and i love him so much but he has a girlfriend. and i was going to go out with him but he said i showed no intrest in him. so last night i was talkin to my sisters bf and hes tryin to hard to keep me away from his brother hes sayin hes a player and hes going to hurt me. and all this shit. and i told him whatever i dont care i love your brother and he said you dont know what love is your a child. and im 16 and this boys 16. and i dont know it pisses me off so much because everytime i talk to the boy i love it reminds me how much i love him and i cant have him. and im trying SO hard to keep his brother from marrying my sister. what do i do? sorry if this doesnt make any sense. his brother is 18 and my sister 17 turnin 18 september 30. ( And if they get married then i wont be able to date his brother cuz we'll be inlaws. ) and my sister is considering NOT marrying him cause of me. please helP!! (link)
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personally..i don't think you're in love with this kid...you may love him like you love a lot of people but you aren't IN LOVE with him- which on the other hand..if your sister is getting married..she's IN LOVE..and if she doesn't get married to the guy that shes IN LOVE with all because of you...you will probably feel really guilty...your guy doesn't seem to be screaming for your attention and just dying to be with you just as you are dying to be with him....so maybe it's not meant for you guys- and that's what this marriage is probably saying- on the other hand your sister and her "man" are meant to be...supposedly and they want to get married...so if things aren't working out in your way- they are working in her benefit...and let it go that way don't make her sacrifice her dreams and love for you...for something you obviously can't have at the moment- for whatever reason that is...step aside and let fate play itself out...don't try to stop everything, because it's never going to work in your favor and you can never stop fate...you might just turn things around on yourself...good luck, hope i helped ...and let me know :D
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okay so i was gonna have sex with this boy jon (we'll say) but then we both decided we weren't ready and ever since we really haven't talked much. and every time i c him he always has another gurl over or sumthing and he just ignors me. how can i get him to open up to me again? (link)
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bottom line..he's a player- he's probably telling every single one of those girls the same thing he's telling you...if i were you, i wouldn't give my virginity up to him...it's something sacred- i know it sounds corny and i always thought that but lately i've come to realize it more and more...you don't want to give something big like that up to someone worthless...like a player, who's going to use you and compare you like every other easy chick he gets....stick to what you want and don't sacrifice it to "get him back" or "Get him to open up to you"...if he's worthy- he will do it on his own..and he won't expect sex in return...good luck, hope i helped, let me know! :D
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Me: I really wonder why guys have been hittin on me lately lol
Him: u realli wanna know that
Him: cuz i'll tell u
Me: ok lol
Him: cuz
Him: ur
Him: HOTT!!!!
Him: duh
Me: aww lol
Me: why cant guys go for my personality? its alright if they wanna go for my looks but then they could playas
Him: I'd go for both
Me: lol
Is he flirtin or just talkin? There's more convos where he says sweet things like that but I just chose this one. (link)
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he's flirting....first off he was just being truthful but once he said i'll go for both that shows you he'd go for you...if you'd be interested- go for it :D he seems nice...good luck, hope i helped...drop by my inbox and let me know sometime?
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I am like the only girl in my grade who doesnt ave a boyfriend. All of my friends say im wicked pretty, but i dont believe them, cause wouldnt i have a bf by now if i was. Does anyone have any tips on getting the guy u like 2 go out wit u? (link)
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you can't make a guy go out with you or like you..guys are stubborn creatures...they will only do it if they want to - and if they want to they'll do anything in their power to get what they want...but if he doesn't want it- you can throw rocks at his head..and he still won't budge..consider yourself in that situation...wouldn't it bug you if someone was trying to push you into going out with someone...i don't think you'd like that- lighten up a bit have fun and be yourself..there's not much else you can do
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I met this guy at a lacrosse camp.. I thought he was really cool and everything and we were flirting and he asked me out and of course I said yes.. after that week I haven't seen him but ive talked him on the phone.. hes a total Jock and always plays sports.. sometimes i think he likes his sports better than me.. I really like him and I know he likes me too but I want to see him.. is that being selfish? should I explain it all to him? (link)
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well if you know he likes you back...then that's really all the assurance you need- if the guy is really involved in sports it's because eh's going to have that his whole life, and there's no guarantee he's going to have you his whole life...that's probably why he focuses on that so much more- he probably knows it can get him to many places... it's not selfish that you want to see him but don't pressure him into things and telling you that he likes you more...because if he has a love for sports- there's nothing you can do about it except support him and if you want to see him...challenge him to a game or something someday- hang out and do somthing involved with sports..that way you get what you want, and he gets the best of both worlds...let him know how you feel if you don't agree with what i wrote above- but that might come off selfish if you say "i think you like your sports better than me" because he might say "yeah, well i do" ...so good luck ! :D
love elle
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i really want to make out but i dont know how and then wheni wit a guy i feel like if i make out with him he is goin to think i suck enev if its my frist time idk what to do i dont know how to do it what should i do ?? i dont want to feel stupid when i doing it???=(
please help?!! (link)
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well there's no such thing as really sucking..but i see what you mean...you can always tell the guy it's your first time and he'll kinda like lead you and you can play along and follow his stride- which makes a good kiss anyway...don't worry about it thoguh, don't be tense because a person can always feel it if their partner is tense while kissing...just have fun and enjoy your first kiss :D good luck and make the best of it - and if it's not that great just remember, there's PLENTY more you'll have so don't even worry about it..hope i helped :D
byee, love elle
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okay, i knew this guy sionce 8th grade, adn we are becoming seniors this fall. i used to date him, and we broke up because a freind made it heck for us, and now we are friends again. and i realized that i am in love with him...so we went to the crnival in our town together and we sat and watched the fireworks together, holding each other tightly the whole time. and we walked home hand in hand. we sat on my porch untill 2 am cuddling and talking. i asked him to our homecoming dance this fall and he said "well, i dont like to dance, but since you want me to go, i'll go with you". and he left and went home an hour later, adn i have not heard from him since. i have tryed to call him and i cant get ahold of him...no oen answers his phone. and when i leave a message, he never gets back to me!
so my questions are...does he like me back? did i scare him off? what is going on inside his head? if anyone could help me it would b eso so so useful! (link)
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hey..i have no idea what happened but i'll try to help you out- wow this guy sounds like one in a million...if you gyus went out before and broke up then it probably had something to do with either one of you if not both people just mixing very well together....so i don't know he seemed like he was being such a sweetheart- and guys do that as an act sometimes, but he did so much do i don't think it was really an act as much as it was just...he was needing someone and you were there and you wanted him to cuddle with and be with so it worked out- and maybe he just decided that was all...but since he said he'd go with you...maybe he will maybe he's away on vacation or not very free to talk..he probably still has feelings for you but idk if it's enough to like you- i doubt you scared him off because it seems like he was feeding off of your affection and if you were to scare him off he would have ran right away....i really don't know what's going on in his head- but i wish you the best...good luck and let me know if anything =] hope i helped somewhat..
love elle
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im madly in love with this girl and shes a very good friend i dont want our friendship 2 get wierd if i ask her out wut should i do??? (link)
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well first of all i would find out how she feels about you- whether you choose to ask her straight up or find out from her friends [which sometimes isn't the best or most reliable way] you need to find that out- because first of all that would save you rejection and maybe then it would make you feel better too if you knew she liked you like that too...if your friendship is strong it shouldnt ruin it- if youhave honesty and trust between you...it should be ok as long as you don't let your relationship issues break apart your friendship if something goes wrong- but if you stay in the mindset of "we were friends before, we'll be friends after; the relationship was just a new experience" then you should be able to keep it leveled...good luck- hope i helped =] byee
love elle
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is it bad if u dont know how to kiss??? (link)
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there isn't a special way "how to kiss" everyone has tehir own method and style- the basics are just making sure you don't eat the other person's face...keep the tongue limited and follow their groove, you'll get it after a few times...be yourself and you'll enjoy it =] good luck!
hope i helped
love elle
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once a cheater, always a cheater?? TRUE OR FALSE? (link)
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mostly true but there are instances when it could be false- alcohol/drugs get in the way and make you cheat when you wouldn't have done that soberly..but that's the person's own fault for putting him/herself in that situation =] love elle
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hi im 15 years old and a guy...and i dig this chick alot, we went out before for like 8 months and then we took a "break" and a few days later shes going out with my buddy and to make a long story short, me and her were hangin out at my house and her b/f dumped her and she acted like we were goin out or somethin and then the next day her and her ex are doin the same thing...what the hell do i do? (link)
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she's not someone that's worth your time...she can't figure out waht she wants which is why she seems to be playing the both of you back and forth and having you both tied around her little finger...she uses her ways of making things feel like they were when you were togeher to get you and play around with your head...but you just have to remember one thing- you're not together, and she needs to know that too..she needs to get her act together because pulilng you through this funnel of messed up crap isn't going to help and she can't just play mind games with you because she wants to or feels she can...tell her how you feel and tell her how it's going to be and how it's not going to be- stand up for yourself and your feelings..the last thing you'd want, i think, is to get hurt when you're not even in a relationship... hope i helped ! good luck =] byee
love elle
no prob =]
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in 2 weeks i am going to visit my friend on the east coast and i haven't seen him for 9 years. i want him to think i look pretty good but i have really low self confidence and that makes me feel ugly even tho i kno im not. so is there anyway i can kinda build self esteem by the end of the month? i just want to feel confident. (link)
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take a piece of paper and write down all the good qualities about yourself..stay in the state of mind that you are when you said you know you're not ugly..even though you says o sometimes..so you can make that your number one thing- I'm pretty...i'm sure you have a lot of things going for you..so just focus on that...don't get conceided so don't just focus on looks go for your accomplishment, sports, school, clubs, friends, stuff like that..you'll feel better in no time- also..treat yourself to something you really enjoy..it always helps to boost your confidence and mood..hope i helped - just be yourself, and he'll think you're all that - =] good luck !
love elle
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Okay.. well Ive been with my boyfriend for 16 months (on wednesday) Anyways.. he got drunk last night and cheated on me with his ex.. and he said that he didnt even mean to, he was just drunk.. and that he loved me he just wanted to take a break.. and he came back online, and we were talking.. and it was like.. we were still together.. i mean he still called me "babygirl" and said I love you when he had to leave.. what should i do? :/ Thanks!~ (link)
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just cause he's on a break..he still probably calls you those names because they feel like it's a special connection you guys have and those are HIS names for you..you know? maybe ..im not sure- ask him what's up
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hi..i got a bf but he got another gurl friend what should i do? i wana break up with him and hope he could accept it easily.what should i say to him? even i wana break up,but i still wana be friend with him forever (link)
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wait a minute...your boyfriend has another girlfriend AND you?? i hope i read it wrong beacuse that would mean he's two timing you- and i don't understand why you'd want to hope he understands...if he's playing you? why would you want to be friends forever? i don't know maybe i am reading this wrong...let me know =]
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Hey,my situation is prolly a pretty common one,but i'll go into it anyway. I'm an 18 year old guy,who knows this really nice girl for over a year. The reason i never made my move on her was that she was always going out with one of my friends and still is. I am under the impression that i'm her friend and nothing more,b/c she tells me things prolly only her bf should know and i feel bad about this. I dont wanna wreck anybody's relationships,but it seems like she's more comfortable around me then him. What should i do? (link)
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hey, wow this is a toughy...girls happen to be like that sometime; does she know that you've had something for her..maybe enough to make a move on her, if she wasn't dating your friend? i'm guessing she doesnt, which is probably why she feels so comfortable around you- maybe she sees you as a very trustworthy person ...even more than her boyfriend, which can definitely happen...maybe she looks to you more for advice or maybe she even just feels like she can be completely herself around you and tell you very personal things and you won't judge her...i don't know exactly what's going on there...i think that there really is nothing you can do since you already said that getting in between the relationship isn't within your best interest...so i would suggest staying good friends, seeing where things go and if things clear up- but if nothing seems to make sense, the only logical thing other than this would be to approach her...ask her what's on her mind and how she feels about you and your friendship..those would be the best answers you could ever get- since they are coming directly from her... hope i helped [rate me please?] good luck! =]
love elle
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Ok i'm going to be 18 on July 10th and there is this dude named Jason who I like and he likes me too...he says that I have all the qualities he wants and in a girl and he just makes me feel real good...but there's a huge problem...He is 27!!!! ahhh I don't know wut to do!! I think when ur 18 ur legal, but still is it bad gettin involved w/him? I'm real confused! (link)
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it's not wrong..if you both like each other then there's really nothing stopping you yes..18 is legal, so that's not a problem so it all comes down to what you guys want the both of you to become..good luck =]
love elle
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my boyfriend broke up with me yesterday and he wouldn't tell me why! i was so sad and i didnt really care yesterday but this morning when i woke up i just couldnt dtop thinking of him. i love him so much but he wont tell me y he broke up wit meah!!! wut should i do because i wanna no why he doesnt luv me ne more!!!! (link)
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hey, i'm sorry to hear that but that happens...you never know with guys, and even us girls sometims too...but maybe he had a 'change of heart' or he's going through a mood swing so sometimes people wind up pushing those that they really care about the furthest away...your best bet would be to find out from him, but if he doesn't seem to give in, then move on to someone who wont drop you like that...i, personally don't understand how someone can drop every feeling, especially something as strong as love, just like that..but go figure...good luck girl! =]
love elle
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hey, i dont know y but every since i turned 12 (im now 13) i have lost a lot of my self confidence. i think im pretty and all but i dunno sometimes i just wish i could change a lot of things about myself. ne ideas of how i can boost my self confidence back up? (link)
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hey there...wow i completely know what you're feeling like- i went through that too..i don't know why, but it's that whole tween/teen phase that we all go through and just never stop picking at things...we always find something bad about ourselves...but the way to boost your self-confidence is get involved..once you find something you really like and are good at, you'll begin to notice more qualities about yourself that make you a great person..which i'm sure you are, don't focus so much on the models/other girls- because each person has flaws even though you may think they dont...heng in there- it get's easier..as long as you know you're the best you can be, things will seem to be much easier...hope i helped :)
love elle
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