Hrcoole's advice column | Hrcoole's Advice About Love Life

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Q: Let me get straight to the problem.
My boyfriend is a really bad kisser.
He's only had 2 other girlfriends before me
and i dont know if he made out with
either one of them, but when we're kissing
he acts like i dont know i cant even describe it
but he definitely doesnt know what hes doing.
I dont't like kissing any more because its THAT bad. What should i do? I really need your help!

Say " name, i would like to try something, how about i kiss you and then you kiss me back the way taht i kissed you" he should be down with it, don't tell him he is a bad kisser, just try that or do it step by step kiss him a certain way, then allow him to do it back, adn keep doing it until he is a good kisser. it will all be good.

Q: ok, i like this boy who is one year younger than me (13). we know each other because we go to the same church and we're pretty good friends. we always text each other and stuff like that. but i dont know if he likes me. the stuff he says in his text messages kinda makes me think that he does, but then im not totally sure. i like him, but im not sure if he likes me...any ideas?

ask him stright out. say " i am confussed on your texts, and i would like to know if you like me more than a friend" or do what i did, call him up, and ask him if he likes you more than a friend. it would be better in person.. but i did it and me and my guy have been together for almost 2 years, so if that gives you any confidence go for it. don't exactly trust friends though to do the deed cuz things will get all messed up and you won't know what he really said. hope this helps good luck! :)

Q: I have this guy friend and i have had a crush on him since i can remmber but hes always been like a friend now he has this girlfriend who doesnt like me she doesnt even like me going over his house every time she with him and im around shes always all one him and when i look at them out the windo (i live next door to him) she not she looks normal for once but what im trying to say is everytime they kiss he always looks at me and he as asked me out sometimes and says what his girl dont know dont hurt her what should i do? i do like him but i mean if hes with her i cant go with him

this might be hard to take in, but your doing the right thing, stick to your ground. if he is with someone and is asking you out... that is cheeting. tell him it is either her or you. persoanly i would not go out with him, just because he seems as a player. cake and ice cream too. my best advice is to find another guy, that will treat you as the only one for him. you know what i mean? you can find a lot of more guys that will treat you as a princess not the ice cream to his cake. hope this helps

Q: so i met this guy ryan and we started talking and he asked me a bunch of questions and he was like do you have any questions for me? but i couldnt think of any so i was like ummm who do you like and he goes i like you and i go i like you too and he asked me out and i said yes but the problem is it doesnt seem like he likes me like we dont talk alot and he just doesnt seem interested at all whats up with him? does he like me or not?

He may be just shy, if you havn't been going out for a long time he may not know exactly how to treat a g.f. if you have been friends for awhile then he knows you pretty well, but just don't want to mess up. just give him some time 6 months? if he don't lighten up then it may be a sititation where you will have to move on, and find someone who will show some affection. also, if he has had other g.f's did u ever notice how he acted towards them? maybe this is just how he is, maybe he was raised with a family that don't show much effection. if that's the case, start making moves and see how he reacts. one way or anohter u will get a resoponse. good luck!!!

Q: OK here it goes I went out with this guy Ben and he broke up with me.. and then 2 months passed and we decided to give it another try unfornately it didn't work out so i broke up with him. the thing is, is i have a thing for his brother jay and i know he has a thing for me because he told me after the first time ben broke up with me. i still have a thing for jay, but i don't know what to do. ben is currently not talking to me. he won't give me the time of day... he is upset and acting childish so i don't wanna deal with him. what should i do?

let your ex be the child that he is, you wanna go for his bro, and this bro jay likes you go for it. your ex will get over it. and if jay liked you and you liked him why did you go out with your ex again? that don't make no sense, but ok. you don't wanna deal with ex don't just let time pass, hell' get over whatever he is feeling

Q: Last night I found out that my close friend slept over my boyfriends house. He didn't tell me that she was going to even though I was with him all day. That really anonyed me because he doesn't even want me to come to his dad house (it's a 30 minute drive from here & he says he hates it there) The girl is one of my close friends, but I know her well and she tends to almost act like they're going out by doing little things like touching his arm and getting really close to him (and she has a boyfriend) I can flat out say I trust him but I don't trust her especially because she lets other guys do stuff to her and lies to her boyfriend all the time. Yes, their good friends but why was she sleeping over his house in the first place? It just seems odd. Do I have the right to be mad? I want to get back at him so bad for not telling me .. idk what to do ):

Don't be mad at him, dont tell her boyfriend. if you trust your boyfriend talk to him and see why he didnt' tell you, don't yell at him or argue just talk to him. with your friend not to be rude or anythhing but she seems as a slut. being with a guy and letting other guys do things to her, and keeping it from her guy. it just does not mix and i think she is trying to mess up a good thing that you have with your guy. i would just watch the friendship you have with her. i would just talk to your boyfrined and see why he didn't tell you. and talk to your friend about how you feel about her touching your man, be nice about it, but be firm. good luck

Q: My girlfriend broke up with me a few months ago (reason cited: my arrogance was getting in the way of our relationship). We are involved in a lot of the same clubs (both officers) and so forth at school and so somehow or another, we will need to get along.

Recently I IMed her just to ask how she was doing and what she's been up to. (Have to start somewhere, right?) "I'd rather not talk about it with you," was her reply. Ouch. Cold.

So anyway, ideas? I really don't want to fight her on commitees and such all year. I mean should I just ask her how she's doing until she answers? Should I give her (some more?) space?

just give eachother some time, and then after awhile when she is alone or something go to her and just talk about what happend, hear her out, and don't intrupt. let her talk. say i know we are involved in alot of things together and i don't want us to be always so tense, and you mad at me all the time i would like to still be friends with you. and just give it time she should come around.

Q: Okay so I have a boyfriend of almost 11 monthes now. Problem is his mom and I do not get along exspecially after last night!

So I seen she IMed me while I was with my boyfriend ((her son)). She said hey or w/e so I IMed her back sayin hey an I had a question so I asked her why did she let his ex gf stay the night knowing I don't like her. She told me that since chad was at work she thought it was fine plus her house is open to any one she care's about or w/e. So I got all upset you know cause' that make's me mad an basically told her you know that it's not right an supposively his mom already told him that one of his ex's misses him right? SO why would his mom tell him this if she knew he has a gf, an like that make's me wonder what the hell did she tell the girl after she said that, an it's seems kinda obvious she doesn't like me an she is tryin to get chad to go mess with other girl's or somethin ya know.

Okay now after all this me askin her about the girl stayin the night I told her how I felt an shit an then she tells me like I supposively hungout with my ex bf? Im like wtf I didn't hangout with my ex bf. And then she like went an looked at my ex bf's myspace an seen shit I posted to him in the past like cause we were tryin to make this girl jealous an his mom went on a rampage about it all telling me she would tell my bf an shit so I was like w/e go ahead do what you do.

Now like really, I honestly don't know what to do about her like he can't move out because like his mom will make him pay insurance an since he is gonna start going back to school he wouldn't be able to afford it.

So what should I do in my situation if he asks me to come hangout with his family, do I talk to everyone in cept her.

And am I in the wrong for being upset of his EX gf being there ya know. And like I know I could of handled stuff little better but I asked her a question an she was all a bitch about it an then brought up somethin that I told my ex in the PAST an shit.

Like Honestly she isnt my mother so she has no right snoopin in my buisness. PLUS if chad thought anything dont you think he would of went online an snooped himself, plus it was something said in the fucking past.

I thinks he has no life but w/e am I in the wrong, what should I do like no idea im goin crazay. Thankx you whoever takes the time out to read this!!

WOW you have a sititation. if chad asks you to hang with his family go, and don't not talk to his ma cuz that will only make things worse between you too. what you need to do before he asks you to hang with his family is to go to his house while he is at work, but make sure he is aware of what is going on between you and his ma, and tell him that you are going to talk to her. and do just that. go to her house when he is at work and just talk ask her in a nice, sweet way (i know that is going to be very hard when you are on your last nerve but you have to do it otherwise it will not work) say things like i really like your son, and i don't see why we have to dislike eachother as much as we do. i would like to get along with you, and i would like to know what is it about me that you don't like so much. and see what she says. wing it. if she says something that is not right to you, dont' blow your top, just take it and keep talking, tell her what you don't like about her, and what she is doing and how you feel about it it should go ok. and you should have a better relationship over time, don't rush it tho. i would like to know how this one goes so if you could give me some feed back i would appricatie it thanks, and good luck.

Q: ok how do you get over a guy?

hang out with friends alot, get a new hobby or do what you used to do or still do. go to a movie, hang with family, join sports, get into reading books it should keep your mind off him. go running, and listin to music at the same time or a diffrent times. go shopping, buy something that you really like. there are alot of things to get over a guy. just remember guys are not your intire world. do what you did before you started going with the guy, you will get over him soon enough.

Q: What are some good tips or tricks to make making out for fun without being sexual? I don't like using tongue, so what could I do?

are you even sure you are ready for making out? making out is a sexual type thing, with using tongue, and touchy stuff. but if you think you are ready for making out, then hold hands and kiss, or hug eachother while kissing. cuddle and kiss, and if he gets the idea to put his hands where you don't feel combfterbal back up and put his hands where they belong. have fun.

Q: My boyfreind has had sex with 30 other girls and he prbably has alot of STDS and he cheats on everyone.its just in his nature. He cheated on my friend he cheated on all his other grilfriends. He tried to finger my friend when they were going out and my frined dint want him to and he wouldn't stop trying to do it. He's a man hore. He's only 16 too and he already had sex with 30 girls. And to top it all off, hes arrested right now I forgot what he did. I think hes too much truble for me because I'm not a good girl but I'm not that bad. hes already wanted sex with me the first day we were going out. I think i should dump him. Hes a bad kid and he will only cause more trouble to me. What do yuo think?

WHY ARE YOU EVEN ASKING THE QUESTION?! of course you should dump him, your friends are so right he is just using you for sex. i am very sure you have a good head on your shoulders in fact you asking the question tells me that. that's telling me that you know something is not right and you are just looking for more people to tell you that you are right. you are so much better than he is and he does not derserve your time or effort of any kind of relationship that he wants with you. if he is in jail and 16 and having sex with 30 girls it makes me wonder whatever happend to him in his childhood. do me and your friends- for those are the ones who are going to be really worried about you every minute and why would you want to put them through pain and missory watching you go with some guy that is not even worth a minute of your time. but most importantly yourself a favor and stay away from him as far as you can.

Q: Hey guys, I need some help here. I want to know if any of these are signs that my guy friend likes me.
There's this other creep at my school who sometimes hangs out with all of us at lunch. The other day my friend had to go do something in the classroom, so he wasn't there yet. This creep, we'll call him...'Sean'...ran up to me and grabbed me and said: 'I need to ask you a personal question. Are you going with anyone to the Sadie Hawkins dance?' When I said no, he asked me friend and my other friend. Anyway, later on I told my guy friend about it and he sort of got protective-like, and wanted to know if I'd said yes to 'Sean'. I said no, and he asked if I had a date, then sort of playfully suggested I go with him. Aside from the fact that the guys at my school have the Sadie concept all wrong, I'd like to know if he might like me.

Yes he likes you, now the question is do you like him? if yes go with him, if no just stay friends. guys love to play around so that sugestion means i want to go with you. HAVE FUN!

Q: i've been going out w/ this guy for a couple months and we've kissed acouple times and stuff but weve never makein out and i dont now how to get him to makeout w/ me can someone plz help me

A couple months meaning 2 months? i would think he would make that making out move by now, but my advice to you is easy and simple- you make the move.
while you are giving a little kiss like you usualy do move in slow and then speed it up. do what you want to do and he will catch on soon enough and you will be in the making out. and just have fun with it. if i may sugest french kissing is alot of fun. so have fun, take it slow, he will catch on,= making out.

Q: OK well i was invited to Cedar point with my boy friend, and i really wanted to go, but i was going to be up North, and had to say no. So instead he invited his best friend who so happens to be my best friend as well. Well it so happens that about a year ago he really liked my best friend, and asked her out several time, but she always declined. I'm a little worried that by spending a day with my best friend might ,ake him realize again that he still likes her, even tho she has a boyfriend that she loves. Should i be worried? We've only been going out for about a week, and i don't know if i should worry. Am i being stupid by worring?

That's cool that all 3 of you are close friends. if she as meaning your best friend has a boyfriend who she loves then you don't have to worry. i am sure that he likes you very much and nothing is going to happen between your guy and best friend. he asked her only because you could not go, and they are friends too. just think of it as him and a guy friend just hangging out. if you can. lol. but on the other hand, if he did like her and asked her out several times then he might be using you to get to her. but AGAIN if she is so in love with her boyfriend she won't go for him, and if something does happen then if you are really close with this best friend she will tell you if anything happend. it answer your question stright, NO you don't have to worry. just relax and enjoy the time you have for yourself.

Q: my name is rachel and iam a 17 female and iam dating this boy named jesse and for some reason iam afraid to call him I think it's becouse i'll say something stupid or something like that and when I called him today I got off the phone really quickly because his twin brother answered the phone and when I asked is jesse there he said jesse it's your girlfriend rachel and I think that made me even more nervouse than I already was.I don't have any classes with him either and we don't even have the same lunch at school becouse he got his schedule changed so now we don't have the same lunch anymore so the only time I get to see him during school is at breakfast.This is the 3rd time i've dated jesse and iam afraid to tell my mom iam dating him for the 3rd time becouse she dosn't belive in 3 chances and I do what should i do?

first off this is your relationship not your mothers. if you believe in 3erd chances then give him a 3erd chance. i don't know why the relationship did not last the 1st and 2nd chance but if you think the relationship with this guy named jesse is worth your time and effort i say go for it. if you are 17 then you should have a licinecne or a car or both and if he is the same age as you he should too, if you can't see eachother during school except breakfest then there is always time for after school where you can hang out with him. also i had the same sititation with my boyfriend where i did not get to see him at all except after school when the busses came but after awhile i get fed up and i started looken for ways to when i could see him in between classes and before school and it worked out and i am sure it will work out for you as well. just look at eachother's classes and if you have 2 floors then if you are on the same floor i am sure you can walk eachother to your classes. with being nervous, if you have not dated this guy very long you may get that way but it will pass after awhile, makes me wonder if you were friends first before you started dating. it's better if you are friends first because then you don't have to wonder, or be afraid to be yourself and only yourself because the guy already knows who the real you is and you already know him for who he is and you should be combfterbal around eachother.

Q: earlier this year i dated a guy. we dated for almost 2 months and then i broke up with him because i felt that i didnt really like him any more. and now we are friends. i know that he still has feelings for me because his best friend told me. but lately ive felt like i like him again. but im afraid that if we went out again that the same thing would happen again. should i tell him i wanna date him again or should we just stay friends?

Wing it. i would say stay friends with him for awhile, and see how long these "feelings" for him last. if they last about 2 months or more go for him. but i would not take the risk of breaking his heart again. it could ruin your friendship now and a possible relationship in the future. stay friends, see how you feel after awhile then go for him.

Q: Do guys mind if girls ask them out? Usually, it is the guy who asks the girl so I'm just wondering if it is okay for "her" to ask "him".

You like what you see go for it. UNLESS you are the really classy type, or oldfashioned who only will go with someone if the guy asks her. so if you like a guy ask him, take the risk, and if he don't except go for the next guy. have fun.

Q: i like this guy a lot, problem is i almost never see him and now that he doesn't have a girlfriend i feel like its my chance to tell him i like him. i don't know how to tell him or what to do! we are good friends but through family so i don't have his phone #, he has aim but never goes on, and the next time i'll see him is when school starts. i'm 15 and he's 16 if that helps anyone! Thanks!

look around, get the phonebook and look up his parents name and get the # and call, or if you have mutual friends ask them for his #. and when you do get to talk to him ask to hang out, and it should turn into an everyday thing or at least a few times a week if he is intrested, and has the time, he may be really busy, but just take it one step at a time. if you can't get a hold of him, talk to his ma or dad and se how he is if you are family friends it should be no problem to talk to them. good luck.

Q: i went on vacation this summer and while i was there i saw this REALLY hot guy there. he skimboards and surfs. everytime he came and left the beach we made eye contact. he was always with his friends. and i think he liked me and he told his friends, because he would look at me and then one of his friends would look too. i really wished that he would talk to me or do something (even wave). what should i have done? is there anything i could have done to make him come over and say hi to me? i'm a shy girl and i wouldn't be able to go up to him myself.

thanks!

you can't go up to him by yourself and talk to him? fine, take a friend. use the old frizbe trick, play frizbe with a girlfriend and let her spin it in his direction, say hi if you make eye contact, and then well plan this all out first with your friend so she knows her part, when you make eye contact with this REALLY hot guy have her come next to you and talk to him and then let her introduce the both of you and just start talking. it should go pretty smooth and you should end up with either a friendship or more. good luck

Q: O.k. now I always give good boy advice but this has never happened to me or anyone else I know. Ok here's the situation:My boyfriend hasn't called me in 4 days! Thats not normal 4 him he usually calls almost everyday if its only a 4 minute talk or 4 hours. I mean there are plenty of situations to where he can't call like for some example's: His grandmother won't let him use his cell(their hous phone is disconnected),he's punished, or he's working with his uncle. but he doesn't work 24/7 so he could of called. What do ya'll think of this. Is he gonna break up with me or what? I mean its ok if he wants to break up with me but everyone knows (even his own mother and my mother!!) that he loves and adores me. The last time I talked to him he didn't act like anything was wrong everything was perfectly ok and I can tell when somethings wrong with him or anyone by attitude, tone of voice, and stuff like that. So anyone got any tips on what I should do and what he's trying to tell me, (if anything, cuz no matter what he usually tells me straight up no matter how bad), or why he's ignoring me!> Just anything please help me!! I'll rate high for good answers.

ok STOP WORRING! you even said yourself that both mother's know that he loves/adores you, you also know this. he is not telling you anything, so stop tryen to fugure it out, he is not tryen to ignore you, he is simply busy, or like you said with his grandmother won't let him use his cell. if he adores/loves you like you say he does not want to break-up with you, he may be out of town for a family emergency or some of his guy friends have been over and he has no time to call you because he is so busy with them. believe me on this, ok? i have been where you are, and i made a big mistake and it was only 3 days. don't assume the same thing i did which is waht you are doing. just let it slide, try calling him if he don't pick up just let it slide. talk to his ma if you can and try to get some info on what is going on. if you love him enough you won't assume before you have proof. trust me on this ok?

bio

Hey there, My name is Heather and i love giving advice. i have helped my friends so much with their relationships, with family problems, and friendships i am best on these subjects. If you have any questions like these or anything else i would be more than happy to help.