Hello, call me Abby =] I'm eighteen and a senior in high school this year. I've always had great advice, I'm just not so great at following it =P Feel free to ask me anything, I'll do my best to give you an answer.
Gender: Female
Age: 18
Member Since: February 10, 2007
Answers: 962
Last Update: May 3, 2012
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I've told my boyfriend i wanna be fingered by him but i'm reallu scared about it as i'm only 12 but i do really love him but i don't wanna be fingered now, how do i tell him? (link)
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Like the person below me said, you are only 12.
Please enjoy this time in your life! Now that I am older, I miss times where guys didn't expect you to do sexual things. You have the rest of your life to do that, there is no rush now.
Your body is young and not fully developed, so you won't enjoy fingering or sex as an older woman would. And your young boyfriend probably won't know how to do it so you can enjoy it.
If you're scared, you absolutely shouldn't do it. Like I said, there is no rush. You should feel completely comfortable, or you will regret it.
If your boyfriend tries to do anything, stop him and tell him you just arent ready. Say it has nothing to do with him, you just don't feel right about it yet. If he REALLY loves and cares about you, he will accept that answer and wait until you are ready. If he tries to push you, he is only in the relationship for the sex.
To keep him from trying anything, I suggest group dates and going to public places. Kids your age shouldn't be hanging out alone anyway.
-Abby
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okay so im so obssed( i mean in love) with the rapper drizzy drake rogers and i get mad when i hear him with a new girl cuz the chances of us being together is out of the question my friends and family say im wierd but love is a wierd thing right? (link)
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You are obsessed with the IDEA of Drizzy Drake Rogers, not in love with him. You love his music and his looks, but you are only fantasizing about an idea. You don't know his real personality, if you two would have chemistry, or how you would feel about him. You may be lusting, but you aren't in love. Love takes communication and time, you can't develop it with just an image of a person.
A lot of people get crazy about their favorite music artist. Think about all those Justin Bieber fans! Typically you grow out of it in time.
What I'm saying is, enjoy the music, and who cares if you day dream about him sometimes, but don't let that stop you from meeting new guys!
Good luck,
-Abby
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Well, Im 14 and im female but umm.....I dont like how i look i feel like i will never find anyone that will like me for who i am. Just seeing other people being happy is dispressing almost (im not in depression) when im with my friends it seems guys look at them instead of me. i feel like a loser cause of what i look like and guys are sooo judge menetall of what i look like. its sad.
Can I PLZ have some adive" :/ (link)
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Hey there,
Between the ages of 11-15/16, I was really self-concious. I felt fat and unattractive. My best friend is very petite and tiny, so I always felt HUGE next to her. She also got all the guy attention, so it made me feel really bad.
Once I got to high school and got a little older, things started getting better. For one, I wasn't always around my best friend. Guys flirted with me and gave me attention. I also thinned out as I got older, which gave me more confidence. Being in puberty is an awkward stage, but once you start becoming more womanly, your features will become more defined.
Confidence was also just learning to accept yourself. I still feel fat sometimes today, just because of how I felt when I was younger, but then I look at the facts. I'm 5'3 and 122lbs, which is healthy. I look great, and the only reason I feel huge next to my best friend is because she's shorter and about 100 lbs! So technically she's the weird one haha. You may just be unfairly comparing yourself to others. Get out of that mindset. Just look at yourself and the things you love about yourself! Your friends are probably more outgoing or flirty, which is why they get more guy attention. If you can work on your confidence, it shouldn't be an issue.
Fake it til you make it! It took me til I was 17 to have my first boyfriend because I wasn't comfortable enough with myself before that. Theres no rush, and it doesn't make you weird.
And if anyone is rude to you about your looks, it's because they are the insecure ones. They put others down to feel better about themselves. Don't listen to them.
My best advice is stay positive and do what makes you happy, the rest will come on it's own.
Good luck,
-Abby
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18/f
Me and my ex-boyfriend broke up 3 months ago. We were together for 14 months... 17 if you include the 3 months. We were acting like we were practically together. We acted like a couple, just without the status. There was a pattern, where he would say that he is going to stop talking to me, and then a day or two later, he talks to me again. He says he doesn't want to do anything physical, and he's going to "draw the line." And the line disappears and it happens. And while all of this is happening, he says that he knows for a fact that he will never ever ask me to be his girlfriend again. Especially since he's starting to get busier with school, and he's now president of an organization at a university. He also mentions that he wants me to move on, and etc. I felt like it's just a pattern, even his friends noticed it. And I realized that I wanted to move on, soo badly, because what if one day he does wake up one day and moved on? And I'm still attached to him? I didn't want to feel even more crushed than before.
So today, when we were cuddling, he gave me a couple of kisses. And all the sudden, POOF! He said he's going to make things right, got up, got dressed, and said to me that I should save everything else for my next boyfriend. And I asked him what made him think like that all the sudden, he said he's been thinking about it everytime we cuddle, kiss, or etc. And that the reason why he was saying it like it was nothing, shows how much he thought about it. I was caught off guard, because he told me he loved me and missed me a couple of seconds before he said anything. I didn't really cry, because I was used to it. But yet, I was crushed on the inside... That feelings where you think it really is over, and what will I do if it is.
I noticed that I have no intention in meeting other guys, I tried. And none caught my attention. Some confessed they liked me, but I couldn't like them. I'm too caught up with my ex-boyfriend. He was gone for 3 weeks, and he was always in the back of my mind. I was missing him. And he realized that he missed me more than he expected, and came back again. He would come back when he notices that I'm moving on, and when he does, I give him that security he wants, and he does it all over again! I'm stupid for letting this happen, I'm stupid for letting this little hope get to me, thinking that maybe things will be different. Maybe, things will get better. Maybe, he will come back.
I'm sick of being paranoid, of worrying, of being scared. I'm tired of him doing all of this. But I feel like I'm slowly dying on the inside when he's not next to me. He's someone that I would want to keep in my life. It's one of those feelings, when you know that deep inside, you KNOW that both of you had a huge impact on each other... And there will always be some feelings left towards them. What am I supposed to do? (link)
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This guy is USING you. He is the one with the issues; he can't make up his mind. He wants a girlfriend, then again he doesn't. It sounds like he has an idea of what life he wants, but then when it doesn't go right or he gets lonely, he comes to you.
By letting him do this to you, you are making it okay. You are letting him think he will always have you to depend on. It shows that he does not respect you.
You need a clean break. I know it's hard, because I'm your age and I've been in a relationship for 15 months. I've had a few times where I want to break up with him, but then I feel like I can't be without him.
But you can be without him, you can date other people. You just need enough time away to realize that. Each time you go back to him makes it harder.
I think you should take his advice and get away. Stop talking to him, stop seeing him. Ignore him if you have to. Spend more time with friends, start a new activity or hobby, go to a party and dance/flirt with new guys, and maybe even have some flings. Once you start something with a new guy, even if it's just a one time hook up, your mind will get off of your ex. I promise.
Maybe this time apart will let him know that he really does miss you, and that you deserve better. Hopefully you will realize that you can get better.
Basically, if you don't make a change you will remain in this pattern that is keeping you unhappy. So think about the best choice for you, not the easiest choice.
-Good luck,
-Abby
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Do you think its normal to want attention from the opposite sex when your in a relationship? nope, not flirting or any of that, just notice the fact that they seem to like you and you like that but you dont do anything unloyal, you barely talk to them or stand around them cause you know its wrong, isnt this just something you cant ignore and cant help but feel you like it? what do you think? (link)
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I've been a relationship for over a year, and I like receiving attention from other guys.
Firstly, it's human nature. We are hardwired to flirt, attract 'mates', and have hormones that make us boy/girl crazy sometimes.
One reason is you aren't on the market anymore so you aren't in the mindset that you need to flirt and impress another guy. I also find that since I've have a boyfriend, I don't talk to as many guys. You can start to miss that, so when another guy admires you or even flirts with you it makes you feel special.
Like the person below me said, it's a confidence booster. It reminds you that guys are interested.
It also reminds my boyfriend of what a catch he's got when guys stare at me while were together, so thats fun too :P
Good luck,
-Abby
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I'm 18 years old and fresh into my first year of college. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly four years now. My boyfriend will be 19 next month. He's also fresh into college and he works full-time. Lately, we've been discussing marriage more and more. We truly desire to get engaged and married within the next year. Is 18/19 too young to be married? What all should we be considering? (link)
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Four years is a long time to be together, especially at your age. So it's normal to be thinking, whats the next step?
Before you make any decisions, let me share some experience and some of my opinions with you.
It sounds like you two have been very serious and exclusive for a long time. Have either of you dated anyone else? Slept with anyone else? You may only desire to be with each other now, but do you really want him to be the only guy you've ever been with? Honestly, if you date another guy you will either realize that your current boyfriend is the one for you or that there is more out there that you want to experience. You don't want to one day be married with kids and regret not exploring your options.
My boyfriend's parents got married at age 18 and 20. Neither of them had an education or steady, well paying jobs. They lived together with their parents. Do you and your boyfriend have the funds to live on your own? And you realize that once you are married, your debts become combined? So if your husband goes bankrupt, it hurts your credit score. Are you prepared to make financial choices? That's why I think it is so much easier to get married after you graduate and have a steady job. Then there is less to worry about and things can progress gradually, you won't have to make a rash decision to get by.
My boyfriend's parents also got pregnant with their first child within their first year of marriage. They had to work crazy hours at odd jobs to get by, didn't live in a great area, and it was very tough. Don't jump into adulthood when you don't have to.
There is no harm in waiting longer to make this decision. I would live with each other before deicding to get engaged, and I would have a stable income and college degree.
There isn't a rush to get married, you have plenty of time. These days, people get married towards their late 20's. Do what is right for you two, and don't guess, be sure.
Good luck,
-Abby
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Well, here it goes.... The guy I like is in ninth grade now.... And I'm in seventh grade now.... And I never see him, but my best friend's brother is his best friend, and his mom works at my school, but he rarely visits, How do I talk to him and get him to like me without making it obvious!!!!!!!!!!! (link)
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A 9th grader isn't going to date a 7th grader. The age difference is too much right now, and he's meeting a ton of new people at high school. If you try to talk to him now, he's just going to think of you as a naive girl.
Perhaps there will be a chance for you when you get to high school and are a bit older.
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how to do a first hug n wht to say at the time of hug to my fiancee???????? (link)
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Wow, this sounds like a very scary and new experience.
I suppose you should just hug him warmly with a smile and say something like "It's wonderful to finally meet you" or something to show you are excited to begin this experience.
Best of luck,
-Abby
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Um DearAbby92 i can't tell my parents that he forces me to have sex.he threatened me. he said if i ever told my parents that he forces me to have sex he would hurt me badly.he has a gun.once he came to my house and he wanted to do dirty sex i said no.he pushed me on the wall and took out a gun and he held it to my head.he said ether you have sex or die i had to say sex.he kissed me and said good girl. i never feel like a good girl when he forces me to have sex.can i just call the police when he is not around. he is always around so thats going to be really hard.please help me.
(link)
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People will threaten their victims to get what they want, but that shouldn't stop you from getting help. Most of the time it is just a threat, he never intends on acting on it. He just wants to scare you into letting him have with him.
If you tell your parents, they will call the police and get him arrested. Then he can't hurt you from behind bars.
If you don't do anything, he is going to keep raping you. He is going to keep hurting you. Tell someone, and it can be over.
Please tell someone. Please get help. It may save your life.
-Abby
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Um hello i'm 13 and normally hang out with the older kids.Well one day i was at my friends house and me and him were playing video games.he is 16.he looked at me and said you have pretty eyes so we started to kiss.He kept trying to unbutton my pants i tell him stop, he keeps trying.i push away and i say i'm leaving he grabs me and throws me on his bed.he goes on top of me and he takes off my shirt and pants i say stop.he just told me shutup and that day he took away my virginity whether i liked or not.he raped me.i don't talk to him,but sometimes he comes to my house and makes me have sex with him if my parents aren't home.please help me he keeps using my body.i can't stop thinking about what he does to me.i really need help.
(link)
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You need to get help! Not from someone online.
You need to tell your parents, or a responsible adult in your life. You are being hurt and abused, and it is ILLEGAL! Don't stand for it!
You shouldn't be afraid to tell your parents, because once the word gets out and you report this guy, he can't hurt you anymore.
This website can help you. You can call someone here, or just look at resources to help you open up and tell someone about it.
http://www.rainn.org/
I urge you to stop this now. If you let it go any further, he will continue to hurt you. He may even try to physically hurt or even kill you. His behavior proves he is not mentally right in the head and you can't predict his behavior.
Please get out of this. Help yourself.
Good luck,
-Abby
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Hi
Okay so my ex and I have reopened the lines of communication and text each other every evening. (he dumped me btw)
Yesterday though he asked me whether I was good at cooking anything so I told him and he was intruiged
Then he said he liked to bake and said if I ever needed anything baking at all to let him know.
What does he want? :/ (link)
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He was probably just looking for something to talk to you about. Maybe he was thinking about a cute date where you could cook and he could bake something and you could share the meal?
If he makes the effort to text you, then he definitely has an interest in you. Whether he just wants to be friends, friends with benefits, or re-open the relationship, you will have to find out.
Good luck,
-Abby
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this isn't such a problem but im 15/F and I haven't had a proper relationship. I've been with guys and I've never been dumped I always dumped them. I keep missing chances like I'll talk to a fit guy and I used to be shy so even now I daren't ask for their number so he'd have to do it and when i don't it looks like i'm not interested. I sorta play hard to get but i'm not I just can't seem to get with anyone I like although I end up gettin chatted up by people I don't :(( (link)
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I would say just be confident, or fake it. You don't have to ask the guys for their number, but act a little flirty and play a little hard to get. Don't be desperate but hint that you might be interested. Make them feel like they would be lucky to go on a date with you.
And I get hit on by guys I'm totally not into, but I just try to smile and brush it off. At least it's flattering!
For me, I didn't have a boyfriend until I was seventeen. It took me that long to be confident in myself and be comfortable enough to open up to a boy. He made me feel very comfortable, and a special guy will do that for you one day. It's okay to have butterflies and be nervous to talk to a guy, but once you get to know each other a little better things should go naturally, or it isn't meant to be.
Good luck,
-Abby
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Me and my girlfriend have been dating a while now and we both want a fresh start somewhere new. We want to move to somewhere pretty cheap but nice too like costa rica or hawaii or brazil. somewhere warm with a beach. I was just wondering if anyone has any suggestions for people moving to a brand new place with no job or living situation set up yet? thank you so much! (link)
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I'm going to rule out Hawaii for you, because the cost of living is astronomical and it's hard to get a job there.
Brazil is cheaper, but depending on where you live it can be very dangerous. There is also a language barrier.
Perhaps you could consider Puerto Rico? It's US Territory so you will still be under US law basically and protected by them.
When I went to stay at a Club Med resort, the employees were telling me how they get to stay on beautiful islands and transfer to many different places, while working.
My best advice is don't go anywhere without jobs, you will just end up back where you are, but more poor.
Good luck,
-Abby
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Both 13...theres this guy.. ha, typical right? well he told me he was going to ask me out but he wanted it to be perfect... he then flirted with my bestfriend. They were staying stuff like they wanted to go somewhere romanticc and that shit. Well i confronted him and he was so upset and we made up and all and everything was good... so i had my other bestfriend hit on him after a little bit he starting flirting back.. i KNOW this is horrible but i still like him and he still likes me and i dont know what to do.. i know if i became his girlfriend he'd be faithful (he never TOTALLY cheats)but i still dont trust him. (link)
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I hope things go well for you, but I hope you can listen to my previous advice just a little bit. I'm 18 and I've been there and done that, and I can tell when a guy is trying to sweet talk you and when a guy is being sincere. You don't often find serious, committed 13 year olds.
If he flirts with your bff, thats a bad sign.
I'm just saying this because I don't want you to get hurt.
Best of luck to you,
-Abby
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19/M
I have this friend who is two years younger than. He is really cute, and I had a huge crsuh on him for a while, but he told me that he was straight so I just dropped it. Well, our conversations are almost always about sexual topics. We have talked about a lot of things. And he asked me to send him a pic of myself. And he knows I am gay, and I was just joking and said "Do you want me to be naked with a boner? Lol!" And his reply was "Kinda." And I was just thrown for a loop. I mean, I sent him one and he said he was going to use it to masturbate with, and I jokingly asked him for a nude shot and he just went with it and sent me a nude of himself with an erection. I was so stunned! I mean, I liked what I saw and it made me kinda start to think I should try to talk to him. Then I asked him, "Ok, I have asked you this before, but are you into guys?" And he replied, "No, it is just what I jack off to. I am not into guys, it just what I like to jack off to." And then he went to bed. I am so confused by all of this. He is a cute sweet guy and we have the same morals. I want to pursue a relationship with him, but he says that he is straight, he just likes to jack off to guys. I am so confused by all of this! Any advice?? (link)
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This guy is playing with you.
It sounds like he IS gay, but doesn't want to be out to the world. He wants to get his sexual pleasure from male images but then be straight, at least to everyone else.
He doesn't know himself yet, and if he isn't sure with his sexuality then he isn't ready to be in a relationship with you.
I wouldn't give in to his requests for nude pics or sexual chats, because it seems like he is just using you.
You can try to have a serious conversation with him about this, but him accepting his sexuality, whatever it is, will have to come in it's own time.
Good luck,
-Abby
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if your byfriend call you a bitch and said fuck you what can i do should i live him? (link)
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When someone who is supposed to care about you uses those crude words, then it definitely raises a red flag. It shows that he doesn't have respect for you. Now sometimes there are stressful situations where you feel angry or emotional or upset, and those words slip. Thats one thing. But if it happens often or whenever he gets ticked off at you, then that is not acceptable.
Basically, if you let him call you those things, then you are telling him it's okay to disrespect you.
If I were you and my boyfriend couldn't change his attitude and his choice of words, I wouldn't stay with him.
Good luck,
-Abby
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I was fingered for the first time four days ago. My boyfriend was being rough and so the next day it hurt. Right now I am still having slight aches on and off on my lower abdomin. There is a chance he had precum left on his finger and I know there is a very slight chance of pregnancy but part of me is still concerned. Could I be pregnant? The only other symptom I have is a bit of fever. How many days is normal for your abdomin to ache after your first time? I am 19. Thanks in advance. (link)
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You aren't pregnant, and if you were you wouldn't be having symptoms this soon after sexual intercourse.
The fingering has nothing to do with your fever, and your vagina might be sore but fingering probably didn't cause aches in the abdomen.
Give it a few days and I'm sure you will feel better.
Good luck,
-Abby
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this guy I like and my friend are going downtown tomorrow. I'm so nervous. HELP! (link)
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Well since it sounds like its the 3 of you going, it isn't an official date. So that should take a lot of the pressure off. This outing is for you two to see if you hit it off. Just be yourself, and talk to both of them. Don't make it awkward. Talk about school, movies, your other friends, stuff that the guy can talk about with you. You can be flirty with the guy, but don't over do it. I cant stress it enough, be yourself.
Good luck,
-Abby
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What happens if a male masturbates every day and produces semen to come out would it have dangers later on in life and i am only 15 years old. (link)
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Plenty of guys masturbate everyday, even more then once. It doesn't cause health problems.
The only time you should be concerned is if you choose masturbating over your friends, family, or boyfriend/girlfriend. This can lead to an addiction.
Now when you get older and you might want to try to have kids, masturbating too much may make it a little harder by reducing the sperm count in each ejaculation. This is a long way down the line for you, so I wouldn't worry about it.
Good luck,
-Abby
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13/f and I have a bestfriend.She really likes this guy,but she doesn't know if he has a girlfriend already.She's also said that she's not ready to ask him yet either.So she asked me to ask him,but I have no idea how to ask him. (link)
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Well, I would start a conversation with him and see if he brings up a girlfriend. Or you could just play dumb, like if he tells you he went to the beach last weekend you can say "Oh, did you go with your girlfriend?". If he doesn't have a girlfriend, he'll probably be confused. You can just tell him you thought he was going out with someone, and since he isn't you can say something like "I just thought a sweet guy like you would have a girlfriend." Your friend should be the one doing the talking, because it doesn't look good to the guy if she doesn't have the courage to do it herself. For one, it weirds them out. And guys can be really dumb sometimes, so he might think that you like him instead of your friend, and that can cause problems.
Tell her to be flirty but not desperate. If she puts herself out there but plays hard to get, he'll chase her if he's interested.
Good luck,
-Abby
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