Hiya, were Dannii n Chandler, im a professional event rider and Chandler is a Trial Lawyer.
I give advice regualy in a teen magazine and Chandler has writen many law books and has a colum in a U.K. newspaper answering law related questions.
We are here to help so please let us help you...
'The world, we are listening!'
Location: United Kingdom
Occupation: Dannii = event rider & agony aunt, Chandler = triel lawyer & auther
Age: 25
Member Since: December 20, 2005
Answers: 41
Last Update: January 11, 2006
Visitors: 3862
Main Categories:
Friendship
Love Life
General Sex Questions
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When you give a guy a hnd job, do you take there pants off or just leave boxers on (link)
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ne thing you want, there isnt a "right" or "wrong way to do it - just have fun!
Chandler
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I'm getting to the point where I can't stand to be around my boyfriend. He is really frustrating me. I don't really consider myself unreasonable and I feel really guilty about all this. He's constantly analyzing every aspect of our relationship on whether it's considered "sinful" or not. He even went on about kissing and how it must be considered 'selfish' to a persons own desires. He reads all these sexual purity books and gets his morality and philosophy from them. He is really stiff and concerned about purity.. I know most girls would love a guy who isn't sex obsessed, but sometimes I think it'd be better if he was. I feel I'm not worthy when I'm around him. I always feel like shit when he preaches about morals and stuff. what should I do? is it stupid to care about this? i feel like i'm making a big deal and should just accept it and move on.
thanks (link)
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Its not you thats at fault hear, its him! so you have nothing to feel guilty about what-so-ever! unfortunataly your boy freind is one of thies bain washed, bible bashing, christian lunatics! my advice is simple darlen, get rid of him! you deserve better than to put up with his rediculous crap, you say your self he makes you feel like shit and he would do the same to any girl. people like him make my blood boil, the world would be better of without them and you would be better of with out him!
let us know what happens, remember you deserve better!
Chandler
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13/m. I have a sister who is 14. Where we live, stuff happens slowly. It's not like in NYC where everyone loses their virginity at, like 13. My sister finally got her first boyfriend. I'm not too worried about that. But, they're taking everything too fast: one week, they're dating. Another week, they're holding hands. This may not seem like much to you, but where I live it is. And now yesterday---they've been together 2 months, tops---they both had their first kiss.
I've been trying to get more info, but she's really private about this. I asked her if it was just a peck or if she made out, and she said that it was about 5 seconds. Is that long for a first kiss? And I asked her when, and she showed me a ring that she got from him. Unfortunately, I suck at taking hints, so I still don't get it.
She doesn't want to tell anyone about anything that happens. My other sister and my parents are still completely unaware that they've done so much as hold hands, and she doubts she'll tell them about kissing any time soon.
So, I was just wondering, is this too fast, am I worrying too much, will she be turning into a sex-obsessed slut any time soon, and how can I get her to communicate more? "Why do you need to know?" she asks. Well, I intend on getting a girlfriend this year, and I'm gonna have to learn somehow, right? No smartass answers. Thanks! =) (link)
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Shes right, why do you need to know, you may care for her but is that really an excuse to stick your ore in??? at the end of the day, she is old enough to make her own decisions, if she wants to kiss him after 2 months (which is actually quite along time when you think about it)
They are dating, which means they are aloud to hold hands, thats the whole idea of dating, to be close to someone you love, kissing is a way of showing affection and she is private because she dosn't want her little brother snooping around, keep out of thre business and let them geton with it, you would not like her snooping around when you get a girlfriend would you?
Chandler
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13/f
i've alwayz wanted a boyfriend i just don't know why. i get decent grades(A,B,C etc.)and i don't act up in school. i don't have bad friends. i'm basically a good student, but my mom won't let me. she's afraid i might go off and get PREGNANT. at one point i might go behind her back and get one. i don't wanna go behind her back but sooner or later i'm going to get tempted! so what do i do? i don't want to hurt someone i love! my mom said i can't get a b.f. until AFTER COLLEGE!!!HELPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!! please (link)
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Your mother is being rediculious, she can't treat you like a baby for ever, you get good grades, you have good mates, your a good kid, and the more she keeps saying NO, the bigger issue it is going to become, she cant stop ou from seeing anybody.
If she thinks that you are going to go out and get pregnant then sh is just looking for an excuse to say that you can't have one. You have your own life, so do what you want with it
Channii
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We'll im kinda sick of my boyfriend. Hes getting really clingy & just acting like were going to get married. Plus im not sure I like him anymore. I want to be single again, yet I still want him as a friend because hes really nice & understanding. Im not going to be a jerk and break up with him online because thats just anonying, but can anyone suggest other ways I could possibly end it with him? i'll rate & im 14/f (link)
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Well its not going to be easy and your probibialy gunna break his heart (thats the harsh truth) but at the same time you carn't stay in a relationship where your not happy. your going to have to do it face-to-face, try to explain how you feel and that you would realy like to keep him as a friend. i carn't predict how he will take it, but even if it goes realy badly he will learn to live with it and within time get over it. don't be too hard on your self - its not your fault and to say nothing and keep going would be just as unfair on him an it would on you. good luck!
Chandler
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i really like this guy. and i know he likes me. The thing is he is black and some are my friends are acting weird about that. i mean i don't see anything wrong with it. Is there something wrong with a white female dating a black male?? (link)
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Absoloutley not, why should their be??? Just because you don't have the same colour skin dosn't mean that you are from 2 totally different planets. If your friends really cared for you, theyed want you to be happy, not slating your boyfriend
Dannii and Chandler
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My name is Melissa and there is a guy im totaly in love with his name is Scott he gets along with my perents just fine and they like him and he treats me like a princess and he is a hard worker but they wont let me date him because he is 18 and im only 16 he just turned 18 and we are totaly in love with eachother. They wont even let us hangout hardly together how can i get my perents to let me date him?
signed Boy problems (link)
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Do you meddle around in your parents relationships??? NO
Melissa, you are 16, you are an adult, at the end of the day, what does a couple of years matter when you love each other.
When i was 13 i met a guy who was 18, i went through hell and back with my parents, and for over a year they were adament that we wern't going to let us see eachother. Finally, because we both stuck to our guns and fourght for each other, we were allowed to see each other.
Love concours all - if you realy care for this guy, then the both of you will do what ever it takes to be together
Let me no how it works out
Dannii xx
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Do teen guys (around 14/15 years old) care a lot about a girl's weight? I get a dress down day tommorrow for school (my school wears uniforms) and i want to look nice but im really insecure about my thighs and i dont know if all the guys will be like OMG shes sooo fat and not like me. I know it shouldnt matter but i want to know if its a big issue with guys in general. (directed towards teenage guys reading this: ) when you look at a girl a you think shes pretty would she be unattractive to you if her legs are kinda big? do a girls looks really matter if you like her?
thanks if anyone answers (link)
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Genrally, guys don't care about weight, you get some stupid guys who only care about looks rather than personality, but genrally, guts tend to like people for who they are inside not out
Just remember - no ones perfect
Chandler
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ive been with my boyfriend for over a year and were both 16 years old. i completely love him with all i have. a little bit ago we got into a habit of doing things where we feel bad and fight quite a bit. how do we get back into joking around and being carefree and not fighting? how do i handle the situation when it comes? what do i say? i dont wanna fight. he doesnt either. ill do anything. i love him. thanks. (link)
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dont make a situation and there will be nothing to fight about
FROM C
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alright so this guy that im like totally head over heels in love with knows i like him..and he got me a really pretty braclet for christmas but yesterday right in front of my face he asked out my friend!! and she said yes and she knew that i realy liked him..what do i do...i wanna get back so badly and not just sit there ...help!
ill rate 5 (link)
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Hes a bit of an arsehole really then, hes playing you and your friends just as bad, at the end of the day, he no's you like him and he got you a braclet and he now has asked your best friend out. Hes trying to screw up your emotions, and your friend should have came and talked to you first before she said yes, They are both spiteful
Chandler
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okay, well the thing is.
i have a really great boyfriend. we've been dating for aout 3 or 4 months now && i really like him. he told me a few nights ago that his dad has really bad, uncureable, stomach cancer. i dont know what to do. i've never dealt with dealth at all before, i've just never had too. so i dont know what to say to him. he never really brings it up because he doesnt want me to know hes upset. im also the only person who knows. i know it upsets him because him && his dad have always been close.
what are some things i could say or do that would console him??
please (link)
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at the end of the day he told you because he loves you and trusts you, there is nothing that you could say to him to make him feel better, trust me, ive been in this situation before, at the end of the day, the most that you could do for him is be really supportive, and when the time comes, hes going to need you more than ever
Hope that helps
Dannii xx
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okay i have to begin from the start but bare with me. me and my boyfriend have been dating for 9 months now. last year tho, we went to an event and got in to a fight(lemme say over nothing) and he like hooked up with his ex-girfriend not like sex but still. ever since then i havent been able to get over it. i mean i forgave him and have tried to let it go but it hasnt really helped. sometimes i will be sitting alone and i start to think about it and it makes me want to cry. this event is coming up again in a couple months and his ex will deff be there and omg im soo scared of what is going to happen. i told him that if hes good this time i will be happy and finally over it for good but if he does it again its OVER for sure. is this a good way to go about it or what should i do to get over my jealousy? do i have a right to be upset about it or am i over exaggerating? HELP!!!! rate high. (link)
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No, you have a right to be upset, at the end of the day, a fight over noting shouldnt result with him hooking up with his ex, no way.
If he really is in love with you then he wouldn't have even thort about going to her, why should he, he has you. I don't think that you are over exagerating, in the slightest. If it helps, tell him how you are feeling, it might just make him think about how much you mean to him, but if he does it again, then he isin't worth the air that he is breathing
Dannii xx
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ok well there is this kid named Billy, who I really like! He jokes around with me, he calles me his future wife and stuff. I like it and my friend says its flirting and tat he probably likes me. I'm not sure. I really want him to like me. Also he gets really close to me sometimes and hugs me really close. When he does it is like the best thing in the world! He told me him self that he likes a few people including his exgirlfriend. Should I back off or what? I need help please help
I rate well! (link)
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he is flirting with you bcause he likes you, and when he hugs you, its because he wants to be close to you, he probs says that stuff about his ex because he wants to see how you react ... if your still not sure then you could always find out
Good Luck, Love Dannii xx
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alright, so i moved into my new school last year (7th grade) and i didnt start of with a good reputation, because i was the new girl. but now a year later i have a very good reputation. i mean, i am friends with the populair people, i cant compiments, and people always say they want to be me.
there is this kid in one of my classes, and i have gotten a very big crush on him. he is nice, sweet, and very cute. i did some asking around and i have found he is a loser. like .. dork kid. hanging out with other dorks.
i think dating him might effect my reputation, but should i go for him anyways?
some one please help me. (link)
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that person is wrong, yes there is things such as dorks and popular people, the thing is who do you think you are whatever your name is, at the end of the day, you shouldnt judge people on a question
anyway ..... i was the new girl at a school once, i also didnt start with a very good reputation, and also a year later i settled in and got in with all the popular people, life was good and i found out about a guy in one of my classes, he was short and wore glasses, he was brainy an also a bit of a swat.
At the end of the day, do you not want to date him because you don't like him as a person, or do you not want to date him because it will effect your rep. its up to you but what ever you decide let me no!!
P.S. Moral of my story, i went out with him and am still with him today!!!
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Okay this may seem strange but my friend is going out with my ex boyfriend and i'm really mad. Jordan (( my ex )) and I broke up in August and I really don't think that i still like him, that is untill my best friend decided to date him. I could've told her that it bothered me but I didn't! I think I like Jordan again but i don't know...I just don't want my friend to date him or any of my friends...what's going on and what should I do about this? Please Help! I'll rate 5's unless you're mean...
sincerley,
brokenhearted && confused =/ (link)
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Right, firstly, if she was your true friend, then she would have come and talked to you before dating your ex, she will have known in her own mind that you wouldn't have been 100% happy and in doing so she has betrayed your trust in datig him. Also, he is just as bad going out with your friend, he may have only dated her to spite you if you broke up on genrally bad terms, or on the other hand, he might really care for her. At the end of the day, you have to be a good friend too, dont go off and rant and rave at your friend, she might love this boy and you could risk your friendship. It might be unplesent to think about but ultametly, you and your ex have split up and him and your friend may be really happy together. If you can't accept it, then talk to your friend and him, the three of you may be able to work out whats bothering you
Dannii xx
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well when i was 13 i lost my virginety now im 14 because my birthday was in sep. i lost it in june, but anyways i need help i lost my virginty by an aciddent and it was so not ment to happen and now i think im pg but i have my period every month but my belly is looking pg but i took a pg test and it said negitive, so what is happening to my body i think my mom knows sum thing so what is wrong????
please answer me!!!!
~*~ Michelle ~*~ (link)
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Don't worry, i lost my virginity when i was 13 too. Even tho you are still having your period it dosen't mean that you are not pregnant, but if you are, theres a very low chance that you are pregnant. If you are still worried, go and see your doctor, he will give you a pregnancy test and it is completly confidential. Hope that helps
Love Dannii xx
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Hey all, this is my first question (among probably many) that I'll be asking on this site! Ok now that that's over with, where are some fun places to take your date on? I just started dating (this is my first time ever) (I'm 19) (and she's 17) and already going to the movies is kinda boring. I mean, the whole point of being on a date is to be with the person that you like, and spending an hour or two (or three) staring at a silver screen and *not* talking to the other person seems kinda... strange. We do talk, mainly to make fun of the movie we're watching, but still, where could we go where the activity actually encourages us to talk or play while we're there? thxxx, and i heart all of you :) (link)
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When me and Chandler go out, i always enjoy going out for a romantic meal, it gives us a chance to catch up, and, if all subjects of convo die, you could always talk about how dreadful the food is!!
Love dannii xx
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im 16/f and i met this guy during my summer job. and up till this day ive been thinking about him none stop. before my job ended i gave him my number, well sort of. im not going to get into major detail but basically he got my number but he might of gotten the impression that i didnt want him to have it. but now somebody gave me his email address and i dont know if i should email him because i keep thinking if he wanted to talk to me he would call but he hasnt yet. but then again hes a great guy and i dont want to loose touch of him. we liked eachother through the summer but never hooked up because hes like 8 years older than me. so should i email him or just leave it alone?? thanks yall i'll rate high! (link)
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First of all, age has nothing to do with it, if you really like this guy then ring him hes probs thinking the same thing about you. Good luck
Love Dannii xx
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Ok my ex of a year and a half and I broke up about a week ago. I saw her sitting on some1 else's lap. Is that slutty or what? How long is considered good enough to wait. Personally I think she is a fu@#@ slut. I heard u should wait at least the time that you were in ur last relationship. (link)
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For gods sake man, just because you arn't over her dosn't meen shes not over you. Do you really think thats shes a slut or are you jealous of her? Hate to brake it to you mate but you to arn't in a relationship anymore.
She was sat on someones lap, it dosn't consitute majour flirting. Did she sleep with him or have you been told mindless gossip?? if she did, get over it, she is not your property and you shouldn't fly off the handle because your ex has moved on... get over her and find somebody new.
from Channii
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So I have a crush on this guy, and we are also pretty good friends. But I thought that maybe the reason he was hanging out with me and talking 2 me 24/7 was because he liked me. But one of my friends asked him if he liked me he said"were friends" Was he just saying that because he didn't want to tell her or do you think its true? I don't really want to have a seriouse relationship with him(evil parents won't let me) but I want him to like me and maybe I could sneak out on a few dates with him. I think he knows I might like him. So how do i get him to A. tell me that he likes me B. change his mind to liking me as more than a friend or C. tell one of my friends he likes me. Hope sumone can help. (ideas on how to date w/out my rents knowing would help 2) thnx!
much luv,
marsbars (link)
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First of all, forget your parents, you don't meddle around in their relationship so don't let them mess around in yours. You say that you don't want a serious relationship, is this your thaughts or is this your parents brianwashing you into thinking that you don't want one??
If you really want to know what he thinks of you, ask him yourself, whats the worst he can say? That he dosn't want a serious relationship? If you don't want to ask him yourself than get one of your close mates to ask him, otherwise, both of you will be wondering what the other one is feeling. Hope that helps you
Love Dannii xx
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