8ibah04's advice column | 8ibah04's Advice About Love Life

ask8ibah04

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: My BF is always playing "Mob Wars" on facebook and like other video games. Its really annoying me cuz we don't talk as much as we used to before he started playing video games. Hes on level 155 on Mob Wars. How many levels are there on mob wars? I wanna know so that I know when he will stop playing. & how do I get him to focus more on me than on his vdieo games?!?!?

This is a stupid answer but you cannot stop a guy from playing his video games or computer games, because once he fiishes mob wars he still has his other video games and if not that they could come out with a sequel or somthing to the game, so you can try giving the video games a try, just doing that would make him happy and bring ya'll closer in this gamey way. Sometimes it's worth doing something that you dont want to do for you partner, especially if you want to be with that person.

Q: Our mutual "friends" apparently told her bad things about me, like, how I am "controlling" and yell at any other girl he talks to and other things apparently. I am not okay with this. Is there a way I can approach her about this? Through a letter? In person?

I will see her Wednesday (today is Monday) at a wrestling match. Her son (my boyfriend) is one of the star wrestlers and I am the manager. What can I do? Please help me. We have been dating on and off for the last 4 years. 16/f

Well first yo should see how your boyfriend feels, Make sure these things shes saying are not two sided and are only her thoughts. You might want to tell your boyfriend what you intend on doing and when it comes to talking to her, you basically need to mention that you and your boyfriend are happy together, and it might help if he is in the convedrsation, so he can talk for himself, and though she may think you put him up to doing it, she'll lay off a bit. But the overall thing is shes probably just over protective of him. Now if you boyfriend says theres some things you guys need to work on, you should probably delay that talk with his mom, and listen to what he says and if you really listen and backtrack for yourself, then its you who needs to make the decision to wether you need to change or forget about it. But basically its all a matter of compromise. Good luck!

Q: I have this boyfriend and he is AMAZING. He can cheer me up instantly and he's just so...perfect! The thing is, he says the sweetest things ever but I can never think of anything to say back except "aw how sweet!". I feel like he deserves more than that, but when he says those things, it just kindof stuns my brain and I can't think straight... I think he thinks I don't like him as much as he likes me, but I really do! Please help? :)

The only thing you can do is not say the first thing that comes to you, but say what you feel, and if you find yourself getting tongue tied again and saying "aww how sweet" pause for a second and explain to him that the only reason you always say that is because whatever, {dont say that but explain to him why that's all you say} his response may give you a bit of a boost in confidence.

Q: i love my b.f "ted" of 5 months but im not IN love with him. and this other guy "ken". before me and my bf i was talking to ken alot and he was the sweetest, unselfish, most consideriate guys i've ever met. we were talking bout being more then friends but then his phone broke. so we dont talk or see each other ever. and i think im in love with him. i just miss him so much! i have this feeling that im supposed to be with him. If extra info needed just ask. Please help. Im desperate. thank you

Well the heart is always the best thing to follow, if its telling you to be with ken, then you should. And I know it seems easily said than done. But I think you should just come right out and explain to Ted how you feel. Sometimes it might be even easier if you ask him how he trully feels. But as far as Ken , does he live near by or is there a way you can go see him in person? If than that's a move you probably wont have a hard time making after you make your decision between picking one of them.

Q: okay i really like this guy and he flirts with me alot and asks me what i would do to him but he nevers says anything about dating..so how would i ask him if we would be having a relationship or if he would just use me for action?
thanks
loveboys

Well this sounds like your typical player, but a bold one, he doesnt mind being flirtatious and al about the goodies, but he doesnt mention anytrhing about a relationship. What you should do is since he's so bold to air out what he wants you should be bolder and ask him where your relationship is going and if there is one, and mention to him that he aint getting nothing until your ready.

Q: ok My ex boyfriend from 7 months ago started to reasntly talk to me. He was my first and he knows I still love him and how can I stop? I want to but I can't. Well today my friend got dumped and told me she was wishing they would get back together and I told her not to wish anymore because it was poitless and she knew it was because I have been wishing for me and my first to get back together. Well I texted him about it then was got into a fight. Then he said "I don't know why I was thinking about wasteing my time with you again"..Anyone know what that means? if it means he wants me back how do I get him back to that level? I am so confused on top of that a guy I have liked since last year hit on me today. He dated my cuz and I thought that he didnt like me but then today he help me and kissed my head. I dont want to move on from my first if he wants me back...but then again I am confused about if I really want him...and what if this other guy likes me...should I give him a shot??
I AM SO CONFUSED!

Well you should probably evaluate the reasons why you and your ex broke up in the first place, and decided wether its worth going back to him, for those same issues to come up again, if you both get into an argument. Secondly about what he said, it means that he was considering getting back with you, but with the argument coming along, it detoured his whole thought about it. About the other guy, you'll probably have to do what I told you to do first, and if you come to the conclusion that it's not worth going back to your ex, than maybe it's worth giving this other guy a chance. GOOD LUCK!

Q: okay, so i met this kid through my friend and he had originally liked my one friend..but after we hung out more he liked me instead. well we would text and he was really talkative and would text me first. then we hung out like 2 times and the texting like slowly stopped..i would have to text him first and if he would respond it would be like one word answers that would make me feel annoying to text him. So, we hung out again after that and he was all cool in person and like talkative, flirty, blah blah blah. well then texting him the days after it was back to one word answers. he goes to another school so i never see him in the week and we hang out like once a month because he always seems to be busy and im not sure if hes worth liking. i mean i really seem to like him and dont really know why but i just don't know what to do
i dont want to just give up but my friends keep telling me hes a jerk...and really hes like not..like in person haha

i need some help =]

Well most guys dont really like to seem or better yet show that their into you, so they'll act all chill, I guess to keep you guessing, sometimes it's becasue thats how they are, or sometimes its just a mind game for them, you should probably make time for each other more often, or if he cant meet with you in person, then you could chat over webcam, but to get to the point, the more you guys interact with each other , the more comfortable you'll feel about the relationship

Q: 15/f

So here it goes, I am going out with this kid and He smokes Weed and Ciggarettes, I dont like that he smokes but when I look into his eyes I forget about it all, I know I love him with all my heart, but hes hurting himself bad with the smoking. He tells mehe loves me everyday. We have already broken uponce because he doesnt wanna get me into the drugs and ruine my life, but less then a week later we were both depressed and didnt know what to do other then go out again, we were both miserable without eachother! He said hes gonna try to stop smoking, but hes not going to, I can tell. Like I said I love him and he loves me. Im not sure what to do. I cant break up with him I just cant do it, I cant hurt him or myself that bad! What am I gonna do???!!!!

Theres no easy way to say this but either way your hurting yourself and him whether your together or not. Apart ya'll are "miserable", together your still miserable because you want him to stop smoking, and he's miserable also because basically he's killing his self. If you dont break up with each other then you have to make the move, sit him down tell him how you feel, tell hime all of these things running through your head about you both, tell him or should I say remind him of what he's doing to himself, and that if your both together or not, he could lose you if he continues to smoke that crap, because its basically a life threatening situation. Stand up, and remind him of this if you truly love him, and want to make it work, and tell him to do the same. Good Luck

Q: i just started highschool, and there is this guy who i liked. I ended up finding out that he liked me too because he told my best friend. He later on then asked me out, which i regret because everything was moving way too fast. Especially because we didn't really know each other. A week after we'd been going out, my friend started geting too involved in my boyfriend and i's relationship...example...She felt it necessary to read every note he wrote to me, and the ones i wrote him. I told her not to read everynote because honestly, she didn't need to do that.....this relationship was not built on 3 people....just two, me and him. i told her she could read the notes only if i was to say, "hey, look at this" not her always demanding to read. my boyfriend and I don't have any classes together accept one. We don't see each other much in classes, plus we can't hang out because he's not old enough to hang out till he's 16 + he has strict parents. Anyway, my best friend was flirting with my boyfriend before me and my boyfriend were going out, and i told her not to do it. She denied flirting with him and trying to take him away from me, and she promised to watch herself. After my boyfriend and I started going out, my other group of friends started noticing that my best friend was flirting with him, so they told me. I confronted my boyfriend about it, and he said he thought she liked him but not to worry because he liked me. Then I confronted my friend about it, she got pissed at me, and then i looked like the bad person. My friends who told me were on her side now, and I felt like I had done something wrong. After all this, everything was fixed, and now my boyfriend and I are still going, but i feel this distance between my boyfriend and I. I feel like we just don't seem right together. And a part of me thinks he likes my best friend because everytime we are all three together, he talks to her more than me, and when we leave the one class we have together, and my bestfriend is leaving, he goes and leaves with her when i'm still trying to get my books into my bag or whatever....and it bugs me because he is supposed to be waiting for me. Even when he's saying something, he will be making more eye contact with her than me. I'm so sure he likes her. And i feel like she is a fucking back stabber because she has let everything go as far as it has. If i can feel and see it, I bet that if i can feel all this, they can see it too, and its so obvious.....I'm so confused with everything that I'm wondering what you guys think is really going on with him or her even me...i don't know if i'm maybe going too overboard...anyways.... thank you for replying!:)

I dont want to hurt your feelings but there's a 50/50 chance he might have feelings for her. I mean what actual boyfriend leaves his girlfriend at her locker to go hang or talk with her friend. And then again he could just be trying to be nice to her, because of what happend, and he felt you ended up with him happily, and she was the victim or loser or whatever in the whole situation. If you feel that things are really really shaky between you too, confront the situation, maybe by talking to your friend first, if that doesn't satisfy you, then you probably should nicely confront your boyfriend, like if he leaves you at the locker again to go talk to your friend, catch up to him and when she leaves say something like "I wish you would walk and talk with me like that, better yet wait for me". But dont make it sound like your jealous, eventhough all boys suspect that first Lol! Good Luck !

Q: okk soo theres this boy I like.....but all my friends say hes too bad for you and all this crap and he doesnt deserve you and stuff....and he likes me 2.....what should I dooo???

Help....Plz,

Kateyy

I say if you dont see none of that in him, then ignore others, but if your not really sure, and you want to know for yourself, how bout you do some investigating on your own, maybe if he has a close friend or someone that he hangs out with , that you know also have that person report to you and tell you how he really is. But if you dont have to go through such dramtic lengths and you know how he really is just do what makes you happy, and what feels right. GOOD LUCK!

Q: This guy, let's call him Mike... I've really liked him since second greade, (eigth grade now) well, i really want to go out with him, but i know that he don't like me... what do i do to make him?!?

I know this soundz stupid but just be yourself. But to be more helpful, if your assertive and outgoing, andyou have enough courage, then just step to him and tell him how you feel. Dont try to be something your not just to impress a boy, who is not promised to be with you forever, its just a waste of time. Hope I helped enough, good luck

Q: whenever im not with my boyfriend, all i ever talk about is him. like CONSTANTLY. and im like always depressed when im not with him... is that like, weird?

Not at all, it just means you may just have strong feelings for him. Dont look at it as something you should be ashamed of.

Q:
im female 18 and my boyfriend is 20 everything about him is great except for one thing i dont think my boyfriend has good hygiene (unbrushed teeth,body odor)i dont know how to tell him while being nice.

Well I'm not sure if I could help, but maybe you should take him with you to the store, and like buy things that you would usually buy, and make sure he's with you when you go into the deodorant, shower gel, soap, and toothpaste department, and act normally, ask him what he thinks about different scents but only for you, then offer to buy him some good smelling things.

Or I had a cousin who did this. For his birthday or valentines day or your anniversary, make or get him a basket with candies a card some good smelling things, and if its for valentines day maybe a pair of heart boxers LOL! Good Luck!

Q: k...... so, 1 of my friends asked this guy out 4 me, and he said, "i dont know" so then, a week later, my other friend asked him, and he said, "i dont know, maybe"
so, i looked maybe up in the dictionary, and it said possibly. i looked up possibly, and it said presicely, yes or no.
i asked his sister the next day, and she said that she thought it meant yes...... and i dont know what 2 do about this........
i wrote him a note that said, ""will you go out with me? circle, yes or no."" im giving it 2 him in 2 days.. is that a bad idea??? --HELP ME PLZ!!!!!--

Hands Down Honestly ITS A BAD IDEA! After having two other people ask for you, that should already be enough, writing the note would make you sound desperate and obsessed. Just wait for him to get back to you his self.

Q: There's a guy that I've liked for awhile... ever since like 7th grade actually, and I'm a junior now. Well, since we've been in high school, he and I have gotten closer, mostly because we're in the same group of friends now because his friend asked me out last year but we broke up after three months (it was a happy ending though :)) So I'm curious, would it be a bad thing for me to try and start something with the guy I like because he's so close with my ex?

This same thing happend with a friend of minez, but it wasnt her ex's friend it was his cousin! And he seemed to not have a problem with it. So if you feel absolutely confident with going with him, then go for it.

Q: So this is pathetic, I'm 17/F.

I just cannot find the right guy, or a guy at all. I have only a few guy friends, and I'm not even "close" with them anyways.

But I've never been in a real relationship ever, and I dont know whats wrong with me, I'm super out going, I talk to about anyone, I'm not shy... I meet tons of people, but none ever turn out to be more than friendship.

Arghh!

Maybe u should just wait for that someone to come to you, watch when you least expect it, or when your not even trying or thinking about having a boyfriend, somebody will show up, thats how it alwayz happens for me

Q: my girlfriend is comeing over in about an hour and she has a sore throat and she doesnt want to get me sick, but il do anythig for her to makeout again, that was the best night of my life. what can i do to convince her its ok to?

Well I dont think you can convince her to do something that could probably result in you getting sick from her, just wait until she's feeling better, because you dont want her to feel like you dont care about her feelings, and you only care about makeout sessionre about makeout sessions.

Q: 16/f

i'm normally an honest person but about recently i just got a new boyfriend. he's amazing and i could never wish for a better boyfriend. i want to keep him with me forever!! but i told him a lie and i regret doing it! and its a pretty big lie too. I told him that i finger myself but i really don't. I havent even worn a tampon yet! and i really really really really REALLY do not want to tell him that i don't finger myself because he will get mad that i lied and he told me that he really wants to finger me and if i tell him that i've never done it then it will all just crash and burn. we've been talking that when we are going to hang out again soon, that he wants to finger me but i'm not sure what to do. help!!! i don't know what to do!

Well, hands down no doubt about it, he'll eventually find out, so u should probably tell him. Because if you dont, then I'm sure he'll probably ask you why you keep putting it off

Q: I had a boyfriend not long ago and I still have feelings for him. we went out for 3 months and i just cant let him go. now and then i sort of tell him as a joke.. was i a good gf to see if he was still interested. the reason we broke up was because he IS a hit of a player but is soooo kind and loving! the perfect boyf. intelligent and handsome and taller than me. but his ex's are his best m8s and he has been out with most of my year group. and he told me that he has never felt this way about a girl before and that i was soo beautiful which i really disagrree. help me! i want him back but i dont want him to play around.

Hey its me again, but to answer your question, if he thinks that your obsessed, and you know your not. Then just look at it as his opinion
and dont take in to mind that you have to feel like that about yourself when you know your not obsessed

bio

Im 16, and I guess Im into advice columns. I like giving advice, because I like helping others, especially those who may have the same issues they need help on that I have. I'm always looking for advice websites, because, to be honest advice columns are fun! ;)So anyone feel free to ask me a question, and I'll try to get you on a clear road of a solution. Lol