E-mail:
leeannostroff@gmail.comGender:
FemaleLocation:
OhioOccupation:
Bachelors in music, music instructorAge:
29AIM:
foxychick6798Member Since:
October 17, 2005Answers:
1099Last Update:
June 28, 2016Visitors:
63077Favorite Columnists
NinjaNeer
Main Categories:
Work/School Relationships
Love Life
Friendship
View All
about
Hi my name is Lee Ann. I am 29 years old and Graduated from Bethany college obtaining a bachelors of music. I am a happily married woman with two kids, ages3 and 2. I currently have six books out on the market, all of which can be found on amazon. The first is called The Leaf: One fallen heart and a burning desire, my second is called Avengement of Glory, my third is called Spiral of Enlightenment, fourth one is called Prodigy of the Immortal, fifth one is called Augment in the Realm of Darkness, and my sixth novel is called Bond in the Spiritual Heart. I started this advice column to see if I could give good advice. Turns out I am pretty good, better than I thought actually. I enjoy seeing people smile when I give them good advice and they use it. It makes me feel better as a person to help people. I want to make the world a better place and I think that starting an advice column is the right way to begin. Writing is a huge part of my life, without it, I wouldn't be able to function properly. After seven years, I think I have done pretty well as an advice columnist.
advice
Sorry, I think I'm asking you too many questions, just nvm. But thanks a lot for your advice, it really really helped me :)
Your not asking me a lot of questions. I can't respond unless you send me an inbox every time. For some reason its not like facebook where you can respond back and forth. Each question you have simply send me a message and I promise to respond. It's never too much.
Hey, I don't know if you remember me 'cause its been a loong time but I'm the one who asked this question: http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=596298&sid=dd97b119605b55b0568b86c668e80556
Um so, I don't feel like killing myself now.. I admit that was a little bit dramatic but I just feel like its hopeless :/ I kinda get invited to places at times but I can sense that not many girls want me around.. and like I said before, I'm not much of a flirt and the popular girls bitch about me to the guys so I can't be friends with them either.. So now I have like NO friends. And I used to be a straight-A student but now I keep thinking about how I look, how I have no friends and how all the people at school treat me and my grades are dropping =( Its not like I'm failing but I just don't get top marks anymore. And the most popular girl, well, she is topping now.. thought its kinda 'cause she copies. But still.. my life is like in ruins right now.. so help? -.-"
Of course I remember you :) Sounds like you need to find a new identity. Something you can do where the opinions of others doesn't matter. Why not find a hobby you find yourself putting your whole soul into. Some people like to write, some like to paint, play an instrument such as guitar or piano, writing lyrics helps, or even simple things such as cooking or scrap booking. You need to find one thing you are completely comfortable with, and defines you for who you are. For example, my classical guitar defines myself. When I start playing, it doesn't matter what the world thinks of me because I know I am good and I am doing something I completely love. Once you find that something you can't live without, you will eventually see the guys being attracted to you, the girls being jealous of you, and see that the world can flip the other way.
For me to answer your additional questions you will have to send me another inbox message.
lately all i feel i do is make mistakes im never happy.
i dont know who i am. ok that sounds werid but i always try to be someone else. im known to be the happy girl who people get on with, but its not me.
people think im dumb when i know im smart.
and im shy but im known as loud.
i dont know anymore, im not sure who i like cause i feel a pressure to like the RIGHT people.
and pick the RIGHT clothes.
if i change people will call me fake.
and when i am myself i feel fat, ugly and alone.
so do i try to be the person i am (upset, angery all the time)
or someone im not (happy and confident and hide my real thoughts?)
any advice will help
thankyou
A way to find who you really want to be is find a hobby that you love doing. For example, I love to write and play music. I can imagine my characters and make them do what I want to do. My writing reflects my true feelings of my friends and the world in a way that isn't obvious and hurts their feelings and also in a way that is healthy. Although I play bass guitar in a heavy metal band, I still inspire people to do the right thing. Once you have confidence in yourself, others will follow you. If you have confience it will shine and they will notice. A hobby could be from writing stories or poetry, scrapbooking, sports, artwork, cooking, listening to other people and helping them, etc really anything you like to do in your spare time. A specific group likes those who wear what they want to wear, be who they truly want to be, and not care what anyone thinks. You can try a new look that you completely like: dye your hair, get it cut, put different makeup on, change hat you wear but do on your terms and how you want to be. If you want to change yourself then change it not because you want to fit in, but because you truly want to change and feel good about yourself.
I like the drum major of the band, like I said. Everyday, I'm getting closer to the conclusion that he likes me. Everytime the band is being bad, he will yell at the band as a whole but when he calls set and the band is ready and I'm not he won't tell me "get ready" or "come on, listen better" when someone else in the band isnt in their spot or in playing position like he says, he'll yell at them and tell them they need to hustle more. It seems to me like he yells at everyone else in the band but me and his buddies. Another thing, alot of people in the band think he's gay, which he isnt. He kinda portrays it sometimes but only his close friends, the nice band geeks and me believe he isn't. I like him alot and one more thing that might help is he talks to everyone else in the band like he is best friends with them, yet he doesn't talk to me. ps: dont reply "he likes you, talk to him." because I don't talk to the guys, they make the first move for me, I have worked to hard on a guy before to only be let down so I let them come to me. Thanks! < {(15/f)}
Its a really complicated situation. I completely understand your ideals on men and it is their job to make the first move. I don't think he is gay either, if he were he would be hanging around women more. He may likes authority over the men and in a mans mind like that, he wouldn't yell at you because technically in his mind he already has control over women. He certainly wouldn't do it to his friends either. He also may be trying to impress you by showing how authoritative he can be.
One of my bosses at work keeps giving me mixed signals. First, he stares at me A LOT. I have a friend who works with me who says he checks me out a lot, sometimes when Im not paying attention. 2. He always talks to me or finds a reason to come around my area. Sometimes it feels like he follows me. Like today I was waiting at work for someone and he was quite a few feet away but all he did was stare and then when me and my friend go to leave the building he is right behind us and so close behind me that his feet accidentally kick mine. Then he asks me what I bought and stuff like that. The same thing happened yesterday also! One thing I should mention is that he is married! And him and his wife just adopted a baby! PlUS I have a bf who actually works with me and these 2 guys know each other! My boss is around his early-middle 30s and I just turned 21. He also mentioned to my boyfriend that he was upset that me and my bf werent having a baby right now cuz he wanted to adopt it. No idea what that means. Should also mention that my boss is known as the Jerk at work, so it is quite odd he is so nice to me. He jokes around with me a lot too, always making small talk. I dont know he just always seems to be the same place I am, always making small talk, staring, etc....what is his deal???
It is obvious that he is jealous of you and your boyfriend. To be honest, not all married couples are faithful and if you say he is jerk, then he fits the criteria of a cheater. I wouldn't worry until he has physically tried something but you should tell your boyfriend to keep a close eye on him. I think he mentioned how he would want to adopt your baby so that you guys would be connected in some way. Kind of like Juno, when the husband thinks that they have a connection but turns out it was a misunderstanding.
hey. i think i need a good advice on this. I've suddenly stopped any contact or communication with my friends except for my best bud. I started to get interested with high-end fashion.. I have this "i don't care what you may think" attitude. Before, i was this nice girl who never dared to lose contact or be sweet with my friends, i was so concervative that i never had a taste for heels or skirts... but i think i got tired and i suddenly wanted to be left alone and do things my way. I had this friend who was so overly-dramatic, she's a great pal but i suddenly told her to just FORGET ABOUT ME and move on.. The boys who were eyeing me and who i constantly texted, now i just ignore them..
What's got into me? Really, why the sudden change of my persona?? I'm really confused..
I don't want to be left alone but why do i feel this??
You are burn out and want some space from everything. The more they ask what's wrong, the more you get frustrated. This is completely normal at your age. My grandmother died from brain cancer my senor year of high school and I became depressed. I did not want to talk to anyone but to be just left alone. My personality changed and so did my taste in clothes, makeup, etc. The ony thing that worked was getting my space from everything. I decided to bury myself into writing so that I could get my frustrations out in a healthy way and on my own. At the age of 18, you start to wander off because you want to find yourself and what you want to do for the rest of your life. Unfortunately your friends nor your family can help you with that decision. You may know what you want to do but you don't know how you will get there and how you will become successful when you graduate. Also, you may feel threatened because if you have to move, you would have to say goodbye. Nothing is more painful than goodbye so you push them away so you don't have to.
ok so i have been friends and a little more than friends with this girl. for like 7 to 8 years. we have talked about dating but for some odd reason things always get in the way... right now i am in college and i see her on the weekends. which is great but its not enough time to spend with her and build a solid boyfriend / girlfriend relationship. i was offered a management position at a very well known company but the problem is that she doesn't want me to take it because then we wont see each other at all!!! a part of me wants to take the job but then the other part of me is saying that she means way too much to me to not see her... tell me what would you do if you were in my situation???
It is obvious that she loves you but she is afraid to express it. To be honest, they are other jobs but love is something that takes a while to get. If you take this job, you will most likely spend all of your time wondering what would have happened if I had stayed. I am a person who doesn't like to wonder but wants to know. Do you want to know to?
Hi i have been working at my current job for over a year now. I am entitled to 3 weeks vacation time. I scheduled time in April but we got very short staffed and my boss made me work during my time that was aready approved. Now I need a week off in july. I open the building where i work and there is only one more person with the alarm, i am starting shool in Spetember and really want this time off. they don't want to give it to me. What are my rights. Can i just call in sick or something or can they fire me. Can i write up a request for the days off and just not go. i don't want to be fired. But i am going on this trip (CUBA) no matter what. What should i do. Btw what resort do you reccomend in varadero???
It depends on your contract, if it says that you can be fired without proper cause then they are entitled to fire you for anything. You could miss one day or where the wrong outfit and legally they have a right to fire you. Check the contract you signed, if you still have it, and see what it says. If it doesn't say anything then you are free to call off.
i like this guy and everyone says im better than him but i like him alot .. i want to tell him i like him but how should i do it? either phone or person and how do i tell him? n what do i say?
thanks . i really need help :)
loveboys
Never tell a guy you like them on the phone, always in person. Don't come right out and say that you like him but simply ask how he thinks of you. Ask if he thinks of you as like a sister, best friend, or someone who could possibly be his girlfriend.Make the scenary casual at school or something, you want to act natural.
My teacher rubbed her hand up my leg and I was wondering If that classified as rape or sexual harrasmwnt.We were alone cause I had detention and she sat beside me and did it.She is damn ugly and I told her to get her stinkin paws of a me.I tell my principle and see what'll happen next.
It is a form of sexual harrassment.
were can you go for cheers on the internet
First go to www.google.com, type in any good cheers for cheerleaders in the search engine when it loads, and press enter or search. There are many sites that pop up after that, the first couple are exactly what you are looking for.
how do i make new friends easily at school?
Join sports or any kind of club so you will get the interaction you need to meet new people. If you are in class ask someone for a pencil (even if by chance you already have one), this is a conversation spark that always works. IF you see someone sitting by themself at lunch, go over, and ask them if you can sit by them.
this is kind of a long story:
Well first off, ive been best freinds with this guy for a long time now. Hes not the jelous type, lets call him Joe. Joe is best friends with this guy Tom, tom is really sweet and seems to be a nice guy, so he asks me out and you know the rules of best freinds, you gottah talk to them first about it, so i did. Joe said that Tom only goes after the hot ones, im not saying im hot, cause im definatley not, haha. But point is, this guy Tom is really sweet, he said he loves me and that i mean the world to him and stuff, and he loves me for me, and not what i look like. But Joe said not to fall into his trap, but i cant help it . . hes so charming. So he asks me out, and i say yes and then later that day Tom says to dump him. I do, and i broke Joes heart, he wouldnt stop calling me, texting me, IMing me. he kept saying things like "why did you break up with me, i love you, i dont want to lose you". . . and just well mushy stuff. So i tell him that someone told me stuff about him that i wasnt happy with. Im not one to follow a crowd and believe rumors, but this was my best freind who told me this. So tom swares to god he would never do anything to hurt me, ever, and that hes sorry if the person confused me. He was begging me for a second chance. The guy was making me feel terrible! So i gave him another chance, were going out now and im so happy. But i know tom is gunna be mad at me cause i said i wouldnt date until im ready, he thinks im mad at Joe, when the truth is . . were going out!
I have no idea how to tell him this and i need some serious help, ive never been in this situation before!
thanks, im totally confused
tom was so proud of me for breaking up with him
now what do i do?
As a best friend it is your duty to let your friends make choices ontheir own. A true friend would back you up and support you in anything. For example, my friend had a bay with a complete loser. I don't liek him but I let her live her life the way she wants it. It wouldn't be right to tell her how to live ehr life. IF I did it wouldn't be her life it would be the life I want her to have. Even though I completely despise the father of her child I stay out of it. I let make her own mistakes and when she does I will be there for her. Until then I just need to stay out of it. This cna relate to you. If he is really and truly your friend he will support any decision you make. Keeping that in mind tell him that you thought about it long and hard. You decided that you want to give the guy a chance. People make mistakes and they can change. What makes him think his friend can't. Be strong and remember if he is truly your friend he won't care one way or another but he will be there for you if something does happen.
so ive been going to a private school my entire life, ever since i was 3. and its been the same school too. ive also known the kids in my grade for about 11 years and weve gotten really close. but this school only goes up to 8th grade. last year was my last year at that school and graduating it was the saddest thing ever. ive never cried so much. so this year, [in september] i switched over to a public highschool, which is completely different by the way. only two of my friends from my old school came with me, but there not in any of my classes. so i had to learn the hard way and make completely new friends from scratch. it also sucks because these kids have known eachother since middle school and they already have their own groups. well the first month of school i thought id fit it in good and make a lot of new friends, but i thought wrong. its been about 5 months now and so far ive gotten 2 close friends, and about 5 friends i just talk to but were not close..and there not really the coolest of the bunch..[there not losers, but idk.] and sure i have those people i smile at in the hall, but thats nothing. i hardly talk to them. its just been really hard for me and i dont think anyone seems to understand. in all of my classes ive got one person to talk to, but still..there not my friends, really..only some of them. its complicated but sometimes i get embarssed when people see me talking to those people, since im new i dont want to be put into the loser catagory. and u know i dont think im a loser. this may sound conceited a little..but i should be talking to people that are better than that..you know. its hard to explain really but right now life is just ughh im not that happy with it right now. i havent been in a good mood for a really long time. i cant remember the last time..somethings wrong with me why arent i able to make more friends as easily as all of my other old school friends? all of them have their own group now..im litterly the only one. it really upsets me. i hope you understand how i feel
I know exactly how you feel. Sometimes it is really hard to adjust to a new place, new school, and new friends. A way to make new friends is to find common interests that you have with the others. Do some snooping around and find out what you can. If you find common interests like music, sports, parties, mall, shopping, or even clothes. Use that to your advantage and you will be able to spark a conversation with the others. You can keep your old friends and talk to these new people. The key to having happiness is by making it. The only way things will change is if you make them. I learned as much as I could about sports and the music they were listening to, then brought up the conversation of it. We started talking more and more and the new person asked me to sit by her at lunch to talk more about it. That one person helped me click with the others.
okay im a 16/f and there's this really mean girl at my school who won't leave me alone. i had problems with her over the summer and before that. like over the summer she started saying shit to me on myspace and i said shit back to her. and over Christmas break i added her on facebook and on myspace. because well i forgot about what happened between us and i don't hold grudges against people. well on myspace she messaged me and was like don't send me a friend's request because i don't want to be your friend or whatever. and i cussed her out and got mad and then i told her i didn't care if she wanted to be my friend and she needed to leave me alone. and then i blocked her and then after that i sent her another message telling not to ever start shit with me over the internet and if she had something to say to say it to my face. well she said she will at school the nest day and i assumed that she didn't go to my school anymore because she stopped going. well the next day she was at school! and to make things worse she's in my health class 5th period!! and she saw me and when she did she turned to a bunch of other girls and was like omg nikita is in this class ugh i hate her and she and the other girls said a bunch of shit about me.. and now all she does in that class is talk about me and stare at me and give me mean looks. and then she started calling me a bitch in the hallway but i took i as a comliment and then after tht like today after school i walked passed and she was like you better watch youself bitch and i didn't say anything. well i was wondering i man i ignore but she still says mean things to me. and im not sure if i should tell the school what happened since i message her last time.. so what should i do? sorry its really long but please help me!!
Yeah you could have avoided some things but that really isn't the point. A girl like who makes fun of others turns out to a surprise in the real world. She is the girl with the most problems both mental and physical. She is the one who has issues with her families. If you ignore her she will get irritated that you are not paying attention. Girls liek that like to torture those they know they can bother. If you pretend like you don't care then she will get mad and try to find someone knew to pick on. Another solution is to get a friend who is bigger than her. If yu have someone around that is so much bigger than her. She will fear you becasue of that person especially if you get them to defend you.
Even though this is long will someone read this especially and adult and give your opinion.
I got into the college of my dreams my senior year but was unable to go because of the cost. But now i got readmitted and i feel i am still gonna be a little short on money so i feel i can go and commute see i know a girl that was looking for a roommate who attends spelman college and she put it up on the college campus website i had access to it because i was supposed to attend and i kept her as one of my facebook buddies and everything so i was thinking i could go up there and pay for the house with her and commute but i know my parents wouldn't go for that but if i were to do it any way would i be wrong. I will be 19 then and although i'm not grown to them i want to grow up and i want to go to atlanta i only have one life. I just don't want it to blow up in my face because everything i do goes down the drain. What do you think.
The best thing is to carefully look at your situation. Now if you move out and live with this girl you will then be able to afford to go becasue you will be under a grant based on the new income. This is your life and you have to make the decision on how to live it. This will not blow up in your face as long as you think about it carefully and slowly plan your moves. If you jump ahead to fast it won't work out. Usually finacial aide people are not that helpful so you shoudl talk to the distrct person. Someone higher upa nd they wil be able to help in any way to make the situation work.
As for your parents they can't control becasue you are an adult and you can make whatever choice you want. Just take it one day at a time and going higher than finacial aide by going to the deen or even the district person will help. I had the exact problem and I had to go over their heads in order to get my questions answered.
16/f
when i was in 8th grade i went to a private all girls school and i hate my high school im a junior at a technical school and i hate my shop and i want to switch back to the private school senior year but im torn. please help!!
The best thing is to talk to your mother about it. Tell her your unhappy and you wnat to go back to your old school. I know that some schools have the worst things and you just wnatto get away from it all. But nothing will change unless you talk to your parents and tell them how unhappy you are. If you explain to them why and the solutions to the problem they will transfer you back.
13/Female
Im a young girl surronded by tons of couples. I need flirting tips cause theres this guy whos really tall and cute that I want to catch his eye. flirting tips needed!
The first thing is to start talking to him. You become his friend you can persuade him to become anything. This way you get to know him and gets to know you. Most girls like to flirt with a guy especially about sports. Find his out his interests and use that for conversation. If he sees that you have the same interests he will ask you out.
So im going to be going back to school soon, and I want to do well and get like all A's!
I want to make new friends especialy guy friiiends..
what are some things I can do to make this happen!?
The best thing for good grades is really dedicate yourself to doing it by studing ahead and for boys. Ask them to help if you are having trouble or get involved in a sport. If you do that you will make alot of friends that are girls and then they will introduce you to the hott guys.
I work with an elderly lady who can't seem to mind her own business. I'm the office manager and so she blames me for all her failings, like not getting raises, not being allowed to check voicemail, etc. She won't be honest with me about the way she feels yet she has no problem running her mouth about me and everyone else to anyone willing to listen. We have a very small office, there is only 5 of us here. So of course everyone knows what she says b/c that's how gossip is. Anyway, she's making my work difficult and making up lies to the boss and I want it stopped. How can I do this without stooping to her level?
The best way to not stoop to her level is to not say anything. Chances are she will get what she deserves. She seems like the type who wont stop gossiping no matter how hard she tries. She will get caught in her lies everyone who does will. If you dont say anything you wont get in trouble. I know it is hard to deal with someone who wont stop and gets on your nerves but life is coplicated and full of people who get on our nerves we can be the best if we set an example and show that we are not like them.