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Lovely little wanda
I work with an elderly lady who can't seem to mind her own business. I'm the office manager and so she blames me for all her failings, like not getting raises, not being allowed to check voicemail, etc. She won't be honest with me about the way she feels yet she has no problem running her mouth about me and everyone else to anyone willing to listen. We have a very small office, there is only 5 of us here. So of course everyone knows what she says b/c that's how gossip is. Anyway, she's making my work difficult and making up lies to the boss and I want it stopped. How can I do this without stooping to her level?
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A direct approach is the best. Tell your boss the types of problems that you are experiencing with this person. Assure them that you are seeking advice from them on how THEY want you to handle it, rather than "tattling". This way, you will be handling it the way they suggest and you are seeking their professional advice. If this direct approach with the boss isn't possible, then try an indirect approach:
Tell your boss that you have some ideas to help keep the office running efficiently (or to make it run more efficiently) and ask if you can call a 15 to 20 minute meeting to communicate with staff as a whole. Your boss may want you to run these ideas by him/her first. If so, use "I" statements when speaking to your boss to avoid placing blame on someone directly (the elderly lady). This can direct attention to the problem that you are havng with her by letting the boss draw their own conclusions about whom you may be speaking. If this person complains to everyone in a small office, I'm sure that your boss is already aware in some way. For example, you can say to your supervisor, "I want to communicate with the employees that I am open to hear their ideas/constructive criticisms and want to get some feedback from them in improving the management of the workplace."
Once you get the okay (or have called a meeting), address the whole group (avoiding any direct body language or lingering eye contact with the complainer) and say, "I'd like to take this opportunity to have your input on some ways to make the office run more efficiently" or "I'd like to hear your ideas on what would make our office a(n)___________________ (encouraging, positive, less stressful, etc.) place to work." You can listen to their ideas and/or suggestions. After everyone has had a chance to contribute THEN you make a statement to this affect, "I appreciate your ideas, suggestions and time. I want to maintain an open and PROFESSIONAL line of communication and avoid any conversations that are more in the line of office gossip. Let's all help one another by communicating in this professional way and redirect anyone who is having difficulties to go to the source of the problem, rather than burdening others with discussions that seem more like complaints or gossip." This will deliver your message both to the complainer and to the people who have to listen to her. It states your position in front of everyone, without placing blame on any one person. See if this helps curb future problems. Remember, people will continue with bad habits and unprofessional conduct if they think they can get away with it.
It may take more than once to get her to stop "running her mouth". If she continues, you can send an email or memo with a copy to your supervisor, in which you remind her of the meeting in how to communicate professionally. In your email, try to use her exact phrasing or her original words used to colleagues and this will highlight the problems to your supervisor. For example, you could write/say, "I am sorry to hear that you feel I am impeding your chances for a raise and would like to help you ease the stress you are feeling. How can I be of assistance to you as your office manager?" That will show that you are approaching her whining and gossip with professionalism and are willing to listen to her. It also shows your boss what kind of sour worker she is versus what kind of professional manager you are in the workplace. Always document in writing when you have contact with her in emails, in person and on the phone (complete with dates). This comes in handy when dealing with her. For example, "So-and-so, I hear that you are still having trouble with your voice mails. We spoke about this on October 25th and I suggested _________________________. Is that not working out for you?" Your supervisor will appreciate how professional you are and see that you are earnestly trying to curb her wayward tongue without losing your cool. Good luck and let me know how it turns out.
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find a time when you can talk to your boss alone and tell them what you need. they won't want to lose you if you are a good worker and your boss can straighten out everything that is going on. plus, since its not you actually talking to the woman then she might be more open with her boss, plus the fact that she won't want to lose her job as well.
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Im in the same situation with the gossipping part, just let it roll off your back, shes an old lady no biggie ; ) But, I dont want to scare you or anything but my sister recently got fired because some girls said she was slacking and not doing her job well.Talk to your boss about it,im not in your situation so im not sure maybe?But the one telling your boss is old so im pretty sure she wont fire you,Confront Wanda and just tell her that you're sorry for offending her in any way,and ask nicely to stop talking about you.Again, im not in the situation so theres not much I can say!Well good luck :]
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hey, forget about it. i know its hard because she is just going out of her way to make your lfe harder. but dont let her bring you done. honestly she will get what she deserves. in the end all the lies will catch up with her. so just hang in there. cait ♥
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It sounds like you have your hands full with this one. What I would recommend is to talk to your boss first to see how he/she wishes to proceed with this situation. Explain to them what's going on and how you've attempted to deal with it. Bring up the issue of how this woman's behavior is interfering with your ability to do your own work. The boss may decide to handle the issue personally or request that you have a meeting with this woman to explain that her behavior is unprofessional.
If you do have a meeting with this woman, I would suggest first calmly explaining what has occurred to bring on the meeting (for example, the gossiping, complaining, etc). Then, I would allow her to explain her side. Once she has finished, break her behavior down and explain why each thing is wrong. If you're not responsible for deciding who gets a raise, let her know that. If checking voicemail or gossiping on company time is against company policy, tell her and, if your company has a written policy, show her it in writing. Tell her that you're giving her an opportunity to correct the problem. If your boss approves of the action, let her know that if the problems continue, you will be forced to let her go.
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The best way to not stoop to her level is to not say anything. Chances are she will get what she deserves. She seems like the type who wont stop gossiping no matter how hard she tries. She will get caught in her lies everyone who does will. If you dont say anything you wont get in trouble. I know it is hard to deal with someone who wont stop and gets on your nerves but life is coplicated and full of people who get on our nerves we can be the best if we set an example and show that we are not like them.
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