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Friend, or boyfriend?
this is kind of a long story:
Well first off, ive been best freinds with this guy for a long time now. Hes not the jelous type, lets call him Joe. Joe is best friends with this guy Tom, tom is really sweet and seems to be a nice guy, so he asks me out and you know the rules of best freinds, you gottah talk to them first about it, so i did. Joe said that Tom only goes after the hot ones, im not saying im hot, cause im definatley not, haha. But point is, this guy Tom is really sweet, he said he loves me and that i mean the world to him and stuff, and he loves me for me, and not what i look like. But Joe said not to fall into his trap, but i cant help it . . hes so charming. So he asks me out, and i say yes and then later that day Tom says to dump him. I do, and i broke Joes heart, he wouldnt stop calling me, texting me, IMing me. he kept saying things like "why did you break up with me, i love you, i dont want to lose you". . . and just well mushy stuff. So i tell him that someone told me stuff about him that i wasnt happy with. Im not one to follow a crowd and believe rumors, but this was my best freind who told me this. So tom swares to god he would never do anything to hurt me, ever, and that hes sorry if the person confused me. He was begging me for a second chance. The guy was making me feel terrible! So i gave him another chance, were going out now and im so happy. But i know tom is gunna be mad at me cause i said i wouldnt date until im ready, he thinks im mad at Joe, when the truth is . . were going out!
I have no idea how to tell him this and i need some serious help, ive never been in this situation before!
thanks, im totally confused
tom was so proud of me for breaking up with him
now what do i do?
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As a best friend it is your duty to let your friends make choices ontheir own. A true friend would back you up and support you in anything. For example, my friend had a bay with a complete loser. I don't liek him but I let her live her life the way she wants it. It wouldn't be right to tell her how to live ehr life. IF I did it wouldn't be her life it would be the life I want her to have. Even though I completely despise the father of her child I stay out of it. I let make her own mistakes and when she does I will be there for her. Until then I just need to stay out of it. This cna relate to you. If he is really and truly your friend he will support any decision you make. Keeping that in mind tell him that you thought about it long and hard. You decided that you want to give the guy a chance. People make mistakes and they can change. What makes him think his friend can't. Be strong and remember if he is truly your friend he won't care one way or another but he will be there for you if something does happen.
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Well it seems to me that you have what i like to call "right or left syndrome", I have had many people go through almost the exact same thing and when i comes down to the point...you have to think of who has your best interest in mind, in the long run.
You realy have three choices
1) Keep going back and forth
2) Pick one
3) Find new friends
I dont mean to be so blunt but if you do choose to be with one or the other, choose the one that will still be there, if there your real freinds they will understand, and once you've made this choice, let the other know how you feel and why you've made this choice they will either be very understanding or not.
"Relationships come and go but TRUE freinds are forever" which here means, if "Tom" is a true friend then he will be there for you through out, as with "joe"
Like i said to let Tom know, just tell him how you feel and why you feel that way, and hope for the best. I no its worked for me... good luck and I hope Ive helped (and not been to mean) BooGie
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