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i feel worthless
lately all i feel i do is make mistakes im never happy.
i dont know who i am. ok that sounds werid but i always try to be someone else. im known to be the happy girl who people get on with, but its not me.
people think im dumb when i know im smart.
and im shy but im known as loud.
i dont know anymore, im not sure who i like cause i feel a pressure to like the RIGHT people.
and pick the RIGHT clothes.
if i change people will call me fake.
and when i am myself i feel fat, ugly and alone.
so do i try to be the person i am (upset, angery all the time)
or someone im not (happy and confident and hide my real thoughts?)
any advice will help
thankyou
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Okay, I can tell you right now that we may have something in common. I have been in a situation similar to yours before. When I was a child I didn't really fit in. I had a different menatality from all the other little girls. I wanted to be a boy because I believed that boys had more freedom to do what they pleased and they wouldn't get judged for it. Another reason to this might have been, that I lived in a household where I had an abusive father and he seemed to overpower my mother. I believed, back then, that being a male would give me more power. I did not want to be in the same situation my mother was in. So the whole point of this is that, through out my whole childhood, I was somewhat brain-washed. I had no clue what I was, and people did not know the real me. Only few saw my potential.
So, all that I'm going to tell you, and hopefully this helps you, is to believe in yourself. Believe that you are worth more than what people may see. Do what you think, within yourself, is right. Everybody makes mistakes, and mistakes only leave more room for experience. Don't change so people can like you, only change if you know that you're doing it for yourself, regarding of what people think of you.
And if you have little faith in the advice I'm giving you, I have to tell you that I am living proof of the words I speak. I changed, but for myself. I have to be honest though, I still don't fit in, but not because I lack character but because I have become my own person with my own uniqueness. I have developed an independent mind and a TRUST FOR MYSELF, and that's how people have learned to appreciate me as a human being. :)
YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF TO BE SOMEBODY THAT PEOPLE CAN MODEL AND RESPECT
DON'T CONFORM TO STANDARDS! :)
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A way to find who you really want to be is find a hobby that you love doing. For example, I love to write and play music. I can imagine my characters and make them do what I want to do. My writing reflects my true feelings of my friends and the world in a way that isn't obvious and hurts their feelings and also in a way that is healthy. Although I play bass guitar in a heavy metal band, I still inspire people to do the right thing. Once you have confidence in yourself, others will follow you. If you have confience it will shine and they will notice. A hobby could be from writing stories or poetry, scrapbooking, sports, artwork, cooking, listening to other people and helping them, etc really anything you like to do in your spare time. A specific group likes those who wear what they want to wear, be who they truly want to be, and not care what anyone thinks. You can try a new look that you completely like: dye your hair, get it cut, put different makeup on, change hat you wear but do on your terms and how you want to be. If you want to change yourself then change it not because you want to fit in, but because you truly want to change and feel good about yourself.
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Understand that nobody is themself.
Even the suave, confident-looking guy who follows his own rules and gets all the girls can be sad, empty, and self-loathing inside.
The most amazing, beautiful people can be the most uncertain of themselves. Models I've known are very self-conscious and have a lot of self-doubt because their achievements come from their looks rather than mental or physical abilities.
I'd rather people think I'm an idiot, funny, confident and capable than let them see my angry, impatient, people-hating self.
Do what YOU want. Wear the clothes YOU want to.
Hang out with who YOU want to. Fuck everyone else.
Personally, I'd rather have no friends than be friends with people who annoy me or who only like the facade I've built for myself.
Ultimately, the decision is up to you.
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