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Gender: Female
Location: Canada
Occupation: IT Girl
Age: 19
Member Since: September 28, 2005
Answers: 704
Last Update: April 6, 2007
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About Mara
Hey, I'm Mara. I love dancing. It's practically my favourite thing to do. I love House, R&B, pretty much everything with a good beat, and Benny Benassi is my hero; that's why my column is a shrine to him. I graduated this year and am now in my first year of college where I'm trying to pick a major. Chances are you'll see some of my Psychology questions floating around somewhere here. I'm also extremely interested in Political Science too because I, like half the people living in Canada, somehow want to change the world. I particularly want to find a cure for poverty, corruption, cancer, AIDS and George Bush because honestly, I think those are the biggest problems we have right now. I have decided that maybe I should take the time to live a little before I start though because I have a good fifty years ahead of me to fix all the issues there are. Currently my life consists of: studying, working, socializing, eating and ocassionaly sleeping. I spent practically all of my high school life being a delinquent and partying to huge extents until I discovered my brain sometime in the middle of my senior year. I still like to have a good time every once in a while but you always need to find that balance (I haven't exactly found it yet but I'm getting close). Unfortunatley, a habit that has stuck with me from school is my obsessive gossiping. I just can't stop and you know, an article in Cosmo says that gossipers are healthier people because they bond over it? Who would have thought? Anyway, I do have my limitations and I don't condone nasty, brutal gossiping and I don't gossip about anything my friends have told me in confidence or something about someone else that they have slipped to me, however, if I find you in a washroom at a random party making out with my bestfriends's boyfriend, a few people are probably going to hear about it. Actually, more than a few people will hear about it because one of my absolute pet peeves is parties where the all the bathrooms are occupied due to sexual activity or... puking activity. Sooooo what else is there to know about me? My favourite thing in the world is shopping and my worst fear is existantialism. I am OCDey in a clinical way so you can ask me questions about that. You can ask me practically anything you want except for dumb questions but I'm not going to answer them in my little column here because it's a huge waste of space when I could be writing about myself (Click 'LookIt' on my menubar for answers to dumb questions so you don't have to embarass yourself asking them and getting bitched out from me). What I can do, is offer you three pieces of truly inspirational advice. Firstly, never live your life by what others want of you, cherish yourself and everyone around you, and never beat yourself down about anything you couldn't have avoided. Secondly, donate at least ten percent of the income you earn in your life to someone who needs it. Lastly, never get into a bulldozer when you're under the influence and start driving it towards a poor freshmen (I am never going to another kegger ever again... ever). Ok, I'll shut up now. You can start asking me stuff, if you haven't hit the back button already.
Divit says hi
He is the cutest thing ever
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Over the years I've trained my body to withstand pleasure and concentrate on something else. Now when me and my girlfriend have sex, it lasts for hours, is this normal? One night we went for four hours straight using no pills no attatchments and none of any of those other lovely toys. Is it a bad thing that this lasts this long? How long should it last? Usually I just go until she's completely exhausted and it still feels like I can get up and run a marathon as if nothing had happened. I think there's something wrong with me. Please, if anyone knows how I can fix this tell me. Thanx o^.^o
One of my friends was into all that tantric stuff after he watched American Pie and could go on ages without letting go. It never became a problem for him because he also knew how to let go whenever he wanted.
He recommends taking a porno mag and jacking off eight times a day until you uncondition yourself.
You could try that, or maybe when you're having sex, think about your girlfriend and how good it feels until you get off.
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ive been talking to this guy for almost 2 months. we have sex and everything, and im 17 and hes 20, but weve been friends ever since we were little kids. and we wouldnt be able to have a relationship because people would say stuff about it and i dont like that. and now i think im starting to develope feelings for him and i dont want to if we cant be anything.. cause im still in high school, and i dont think he has feelings for me cause he has a history with girls, like cheating and stuff.. and i dont think hes in for that.. and since im younger, i think he just wants to have sex and thats it. like when we have sex as soon as were done, he puts his clothes on and drops me off.. but when i talk to other guys, he gets mad and i dont know if hes acting like he cares.. what do you think?
He is probably jealous of you talking to other men. When surveyed, women reported that they would rather have their partner have a sexual encounter than an unsexual but emotional encounter. Men reported the opposite. His behavior is purely natural. Males over years have adapted to want females to remain sexually attached to them so that they don't end up rearing someone elses offspring.
Anyway, I'm telling you that to tell you that there is a possibility that this may be what is happening. Don't get your hopes up too much because his behavior might just be instinct. Usually when guys leave after having sex, it confirms that they are only interested in the sex.
On the other hand, the jealousy might be legit and he may be developing feelings for you too. Guys aren't robots after all, and the sex is probably effecting him in some way.
Either way, you can't keep going on with your mechanical no-strings sex. Not only is it unhealthy but it's immoral too and it lets him continue to use girls.
You need to put yourself first in this situation and talk to him about him. Tell him that it's going way too far and confess that you're starting to get attached. If age is a serious issue, take a "break" until you are both older (even though in my opinion, there is nothing wrong with 17 and 20, I've seen 15 and 20 and people have been okay with it). Remind him that you're hesitant because of his reputation and that you can't just be fuck buddies forever. Mention that you want to see guys who are interested in you as a person. If he really does care, he'll probably want to start seeing you officially too.
I know it sounds tough to break it off when you've just started to feel this way but you need to get rid of him while they're still little feelings and you're not totally head over heels.
Good luck
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Okay, so my hair is naturally FLAT STRAIGHT, and pretty thin. its usully down. Does anybody have any ideas on what i can do to it so its not so boring?
Make a messy bun! Those are very flexible and you can make them look casual or formal, whatever you want. Here are a few links that can show you how to do them:
http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Messy-Bun
http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art31828.asp
You could also make a ponytail. Here's a link on a variety of them. I love this website:
http://www.hairboutique.com/tips/tip21053.htm
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how do you respond to a guy when he grabs your butt?
If you like him:
If it's someone you're getting to know: Just smile and giggle
But if it makes you uncomfortable: Raise your eyebrows or roll your eyes
If it's someone you already know: Grab back
But if it makes you uncomfortable: Be like dude wtf?
If you don't like him:
Be like "ummmm excuse me!" and throw a scene
OR
Break down and start crying
OR
Start screaming sexual harassment
OR
Grab him where it hurts and don't let go
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Thanks for your advice, but what exactly is a teen facial? Thankya.
A teen facial is offered at most spas and it's usually cheaper than a regular facial but here is what happens:
They have a consultation where they check out your skin type and they'll remove blackheads and white heads. They massage in oils and cleansers according to your skin type. After that, they'll pop your pimples and put on medication to fade scars and other pimples. They'll cool your skin and give you instructions on how to maintain it.
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I AM;
-5'2
-petite body
-i have olvie toned skin [italian]
-brown and blonde hair [medium length]
-huge bright brown eyes
-i can will dress my makeup and what not around the dress but keep in mind i have 2 peircings. which i wouldnt mind incorrperating.
-i want to look elgant and pretty with a bit of edgyness.
any ideas?
at least maybe color ideas?
or length?
THANKYOU!
Ok so I derived two basic looks using this fall's trends:
Look 1 - White Swan
A fitted short dress like this except in white:
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/2870972?refsid=16727&refcat=0%7e2376776%7e2374325%7e2384900&SourceID=&SlotID=2&origin=related
White sling-backs:
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/2870972?refsid=16727&refcat=0%7e2376776%7e2374325%7e2384900&SourceID=&SlotID=2&origin=related
Minimal eye makeup and red lipstick would look amazing:
http://www.shoppingblog.com/pics/annehathaway.gif
This outfit would look amazing because the white would show off your skin and the red lipstick would look would pull it all together and add some real glamour. It would also go really nicely with your winter theme and trust me, not a lot of people there are going to have the guts to pull off white. You can also substitute the red with neutral for a pure innocent take on it.
Look 2 - All Purple
I'd start out with a purple babydoll dress (French Connection has a way cuter one this season):
http://www.smartbargains.com/images/product/105831/1058312317_LG.jpg
Black strappy stilettos:
http://www.ultimate-shoes.com/hh906blk.jpg
And smokey-eyed shadow
http://www.maccosmetics.com/templates/looks/look.tmpl?CATEGORY_ID=CATEGORY23104
Purple is a huge colour this fall and think look is very chic and sexy. You'll look like you just stepped off the runway.
Good luck and no matter what you wear, feel like you're the most gorgeous girl there and everyone'll see it.
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I want to get my haircut soon but I'm really not sure what I want it to look like.
I have a square shaped face so I need a haircut that will suit me, and I'd also like it if it made my face look less square.
People say I look like Keira Knightley and I'd really like a haircut that made me look more like her. So, I have a square-shaped face, big eyes, average-sized nose and a small mouth.
So if you know a haircut that would suit me would you please describe it to me and it would be really good if you could include a link to a picture of that haircut (from google images or something).
Oh, and please don't say to get a pixie cut, I know keira knightley had one once but I really don't want one.
Thanks, xxx
Getting really straight edgy hair like the link below is also nice but it would be on your face all the time and you'd probably have to straighten it all the time too. If you can deal with that though, it'll be great.
http://data1.blog.de/blog/e/enterthevoid/img/keira-knightley-01.jpg
You could also get shorter hsir that cuts into your face and modifies the shape:
http://www.hairboutique.com/images/2SquareFace200.jpg
Pairing that with soft side bangs can emphasize your cheekbones:
http://images.theglobeandmail.com/archives/RTGAM/images/20050726/wredcarpet0726/kiera.jpg
Sandra Bullock also has a very square shape so copying some of her styles may work too. The following styles make her face appear rounder:
http://www.new-dimension-software.com/top_models/images/sandra-bullock_index.jpg
http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Photos/050324/050324_sandra_bullock_vmed12p.widec.jpg
http://www.btinternet.com/~digital.wallpapers/sandra_bullock_001.jpg
http://www.film-erlebnis.com/images/bullock_sandra.jpg
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I have a large underskin pimple, I think they're called Cystic pimples? Well its right next to the end of my eyebrow and when I woke up my whole eye was swollen shut from it. It hurts very badly, its quite red, and its a large bump. How can I get rid of it asap? Thanks!
Layer acne medication over it and ice it to keep it cool. Take some advil.
When the swelling goes down a little but, go get a teen facial done so she can pop it for you.
If the pain is unbearable, make an appointment with your doctor.
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I want to dye my hair blonde. Right now, I'm a brunette, and I am SOO scared that I won't like it!!
I was wondering --> If I dye it blonde, and I don't like it, can I just ask the hair dressers to dye it back, or would I have to pay more?
Yes, you would have to pay more so don't do it unless you -really- want it.
And why would you, hun? Brunette is -huge- this fall. Wait to go blonde till Spring.
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thing is that i go to this really rich school but i'm not exactly as rich as most people in that school are. i'm on financial aid and that is why i'm able to go there. however, i do come from a Cuban family, and being it that we're Cuban, we love to throw parties. So, for my birthday my mom rented out a room thats actually pretty nice because the balcony is overlookikng the ocean but i don't know. i don't mean to sound ungreatful or anything, but it might not be exactly what these kids are going to go for and i would feel really bad if no one showed up. now, i have only seen this place during the day, so it night be a whole diferent thing, but can someone just give me some advice on what they think. it's really a nice place. and i live in miami, for those of you who know miami, and its in key biscayne, so maybe i just need some reassurement here. thanks for the help
another question, sorry if this is totally off topic or super random but how do you block out other peoples comments, like when they are just totally bothering you, what's a good way to just ignore the comments they make? thank you so much
Honey, there are three things that are key to the making of a good party:
1. Good music
2. Strobe lights
3. Dancing people
I have seen an unfinished basement turned into a party room when people started dancing. As long as you have someone willing to get up and start, you're guaranteed to throw an amazing bash no matter where it is.
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I have all these scars all over my legs, from bug bites and shaving cuts and lil things like that. They're always purplish and whenever I'm wearing a skirt or shorts they really stand out. Is there anything that I can put on them to make them less noticeable?
I have the same problem and I LOVE Sally Hansen Airbrush Legs when I wear skirts and shorts. I blend it in so it doesn't look too much like pantyhose but it's pretty great.
Other than that, try some shea butter to fade the scars. Use it daily. Try some on your arms and face too after you exfoliate. Your skin gets really soft.
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on average, how much do you usually spend on clothes at A&f or hollister in one trip if you have pretty wealthy parents?
i need to know whats reasonable.
I usually get a pair of jeans and a couple of tops on an average visit so that's maybe $250 to $300? I spend a chunk more if I really like the stuff a store has but I've never done that with A&F. I know some of my friends who wear Abercrombie religiously spend about a grand a month there.
Hollister is cheaper which usually makes me spend more because I feel like I'm getting a good deal. I've only shopped there twice though because I'm more of a quality(i.e. designer) shopper over quantity. But one time I spent, I guess maybe $350ish? And the second time I dropped $500.
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Please don't tell me it's bad for you, i know. I'm going to begin tanning this week because i have a "ceremony" to go to this Sunday night. It will be my first time tanning at a salon, and to tell teh truth I'm kinda nervous. I want to get as DARK as possible. Is there anyway I can go twice a day? How longs shoudl i go for one session? Do i needa get lotion, if so which kind and where can i get it? Also, do I need to buy goggles? Am I too young to tan? 14, going on 15 in 2 months. thanks : )
That's tough. I recommend going tomorrow, on Thursday and then again on Saturday. Go for 20 minutes max and buy tanning oil from the salon. But, honey, it's really bad for your skin especially if you're this young to get such a dark tan in one week.
Instead, you should go get a spray-tan for Sunday. They last about ten days and they aren't damaging to your skin. No tan lines either. I'm not sure how much more they cost though.
Then after that, start going to a tanning salon and build it up.
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Just today, i sent a sorry letter to the boy i love.
He read it, but didnt reply
then later he messaged me on aim.
[which he hasnt done in a while]
he was acting casual
so my question is, does he still hate me ?
or do you think he got over it?
It means he's over it.
He just doesn't want to make a big deal out of it so he's going to pretend it never happened.
Don't bring it up unless he talks about it first.
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Okay, so I'm a girl...
Anywhos, okay, I get really aroused when I think about the whole rape, sexual harrassment things and what not.
Is this weird?
No, it's normal.
Lots of teenagers go through a phase of sexual discovery. You might find out that it's probably an element of rape that arouses you (i.e. being submissive and being dominated). You might grow out of it or grow up to like bondage and S&M. Everyone functions differently. Don't worry about it.
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Ok my mother is forcing me to go for a medicals check up cause i havent had one in like years and for some reason she thinks i could have diebeties cause she sees me eating too many sweets (rolls eyes) i know its rediculose but now im freaking out cause i just relized there gonna check my urine, blood, ect.. and... im just wondering if they can see that i have marijuana in my system. I dont smoke it all the time just once in a while last time was like friday nov 17 my check up is on tuesday can find anything if there not looking for it? help anyone who knows cause if they can im just gonna stale untill maybe another month if i can
any advice will be greatly appreciated
Thanks!
DO NOT DRINK BLEACH. Where the hell do people come up with this stuff?
Ok, so hash stays in your system for about a month but they can't test you for specific drugs unless you ask them to.
And even if there is any chance that your mom has, marijuana can enter your system second hand too. Which means that even if you inhale some at a bus stop, it's still a viable excuse.
You probably won't need to use it though because I doubt she'd ask them for test for it. Drug tests are expensive.
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How do you make something a link in your advice column?? Like, in your 'about me' section how do you make it a link for someone to click on?? thnx
put whatever you want the link to say right here
Take all the *'s out but keep the quotation marks in.
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I'm 16/f Australian. Can someone please help me with ways to really make my resume/CV stand out?? What should I include in it and are there any tips you can give me? I'm applying for a casual job over the holidays at a teen girls clothing and jewellery store (like Supre but smaller). Also, should I put my interests in too? If so, should I only include things that are to do with fashion etc. or just what I like doing??
Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks.
Ok I'm third key for a pretty high-end retail store and this is what I have learned from my experience:
1. Make your resume very neat and put in a bunch of stuff that is related to the job and concerns how much you would like to work for their company.
2. They probably won't read the resume.
1. Always try to hand in your resume to the manager/assistant/key because if you give it to an associate, the manager won't know what you're like. This is very important if there is a lot of competition for the job because the manager would rather hire a girl she has seen rather than a girl that a part-timer has seen.
What I mean by the second one is that, that they won't read the resume until you're sitting at the interview. When I have a girl walk in and hand me her resume, I know on the spot whether we should hire her on not. It's all in the energy. Your walk should be just short of a bounce and keep a happy (not cracked-out or fake) smile on your face all the time. Be bubbly but not ditzy. Be loud but don't be noisy. Do you understand where I'm getting here? Be one of those people that no one can help liking. Those are the people that everybody wants working for the store because those are the people who know how to sell. Always be able to make conversation and produce a precise, short and witty answer to a popular question (i.e. "tell me about yourself").
Maintain the same attitude throughout the interview too. I have so many good looking girls walk into my store and I don't call them because in their attempt to look "cool" they end up looking bored, and being "bored" doesn't sell.
Don't stress out about the resume, it isn't as important when it comes to retail. Just keep it all neat and straight-forward. We prefer one-page or double-sided resumes over two pages stapled together. If you have the confidence, I also recommend following up on your resume a week or two later if they haven't called you.
Other than that, just keep your smile on and portray a confident self.
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My clothes have an empty smell to them. In fact, they don't smell like anything. Are there any detergents out there that give clothes that fresh smell to them? My mom has been using the Original All and things that get clothes clean, but nothing that makes them smell nice. Are there any brands that seem to qualify?
Bounty makes clothes smell amazing. You could also use Febreeze after and spritz them so they smell better.
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does anyone know where to get a northface jacket for not expensive? thankss.
www.ebay.com
A tons of guys from my old high school used to buy all their designer clothes from ebay because you could find the same items sold in store up to fifty percent cheaper. A lot of it is stolen merchandise though. And beware of fakes and scams. If something is absurdly cheap, chances are, it's not real. Always check user ratings too but don't rely on them too much because some people spam theirs with fake ratings.
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