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December 1, 2010Answers:
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I am straight to the point, My advice is given based on my opinions of what YOU write. I may not always tell you what you want to hear but I am not here to sugar coat shit.
I am honest, I am blunt, At times an asshole but one thing I can promise, I'll never lie.
advice
I'm 16/f. So, about a month ago, this kid in my class called me a slut. He said "go away, slut." Under his breath when I went to get a pencil. And since then I have been observing myself, and wondering why he said that. It didn't exactly hurt, more like caught me off guard and got me thinking, what could I have done to make anyone think that? I mean, I'm pretty conservative.
The only things I can honestly possibly think of are;
1.The fact that I flirt with the guys that flirt with me,
2. I make a lot of sexual jokes,
3. One day at the end of class when everyone was walking out I waited a little bit and took my top shirt off (I had a tank top under with my bra straps hidden) and left my top shirt on only around my neck, so I could pull my shirt off after my sweater was on to make sure that no skin that wasn't my arms showed. But still, just because he was there, a different boy was like, "Yeah, your clothes. Put them on." Which I can understand, but don't agree with... Only my arm skin was out the whole time.
4. I am horny almost ALL of the time and I find myself fantasizing about some of the boys in my school more and more every week -.-
5. A guy friend of mine once grabbed me as if he was listening to my stomach as I walked by him (he touches me like this a lot, arm around the shoulders, hugs, holds my face briefly, touches my hair and arms, things like that) he was sitting, I was standing. He put his head on my stomach & instead of pushing him away I touched his head, & I don't know, I guess it looked wrong? Everyone that saw said "woahhh" & I just gently backed away from him after a moment I took to process.
6. I stretch in class from time to time (I bend backwards in my seat)
7. When I catch a guy looking at me, I'm flattered instead of disgusted. I don't know if my face shows that or not.
8. When men on the street cat call to me, I smile politely at them (I feel rude ignoring them, even if they might rape me)
9. When the same boy that called me a slut smacked my butt one time, I didn't defend myself, I kind of just stood there & stared at him in shock, & I guess this is why? I don't know. Maybe it's because I'm too nice to the disrespectful guys that surround me?
10. I wore these stretchy leggings that look like jeans with pockets to school for literally the first time yesterday, and my best friend told me "those are the slut pants."
11. When I had swimming last year, I have walked around in my underwear in front of the other girls a few times. I was maybe about 50% comfortable with this,
Looking at this list makes me think I probably am a slut, but I want other comments. If any of you think this makes me a slut, please don't hesitate to tell me, and tell me why. I want honesty. I have been beating myself up about this, I know I should have more of a backbone about this, but I just don't know how, or what to say, or what to do...
Thank you for all of your answers in advance. Anything is appreciated :)
People are stereotypical, Judgmental and rude.
This doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong, It means they are judging you and treating you poorly like Razhie said. Again, If you aren't happy with the way you do things then change it.
Some people tend to judge more then others, It's the way society is nowadays.
I, Am a very judgmental person. I admire people who show self respect and are proper. I tend to down people more who try and draw attention to themselves because in my eyes it shows lack of self respect and desperation.
Is it okay to feel this way? Sure. Everyone is entitled to their opinions but I would never mumble under my breath something rude to hurt someone's feelings. People are opinionated, Sometimes others are opinionated in rude ways. Because someone called you a "slut" doesn't mean you are one or you did something to make them think you are. It means they are stereotypical jerks who express it freely.
(Rating: 5) Thank you, this actually helped :)