Age:
28Member Since:
December 1, 2010Answers:
3046Last Update:
December 22, 2014Visitors:
56528Favorite Columnists
Dragonflymagic
solidadvice4teens
rainhorse68
AdviceMistress
adviceman49
Jasmine23
Razhie
NinjaNeer
LaMarionnette
flare
nascarfan1987
more...
about
I am straight to the point, My advice is given based on my opinions of what YOU write. I may not always tell you what you want to hear but I am not here to sugar coat shit.
I am honest, I am blunt, At times an asshole but one thing I can promise, I'll never lie.
advice
Hey guys. I'm a female, almost 20, and I have feelings for my coworker. I work somewhere that a lot of more established people work. I'm the youngest in the company by far. There are a lot of guys in their late 20's and early 30's and everyone is interesting and most of the staff is pretty good looking. I, however, have feelings for one of my managers. He's 40, he's married, he has a kid, and he's black. Now I know the last part seems unnecessary, but I've actually never been physically attracted to a black guy before. For whatever reason, I've always gone for babyfaced white guys. Anyways, he is wonderful. He's calm and quiet and very smart. Only recently have I been lucky enough to get to know him. We were paired up to do inventory a couple months ago and in that time I realized that I had some pretty intense feelings for him. I'm in a serious long-term relationship with a man I love undeniably and would never cheat on, so these feelings are really confusing. My manager is very respectful. I've never heard him say a bad word about his wife (who is about 10 years older than he is)...in fact I've never really heard him say anything about her at all. He's shown no signs that he is interested in me, while most of the guys I work with have made a pass at me at least once. However, he really enjoys talking to me. He shares stories with me and we vent to each other whenever something is wrong. He doesn't do this with anyone else at work, nor do I. I went to watch his band play the other night. Luckily, 2 other guys I work with are also in the band so it didn't seem like I was just there for my manager, but seeing him outside of work was weird. He could barely make eye contact with me, even though he invited me. While the rest of us were drinking wine in the alley, he separated himself and just said he'd see me inside. I couldn't take my eyes off of him though, and I saw him look at me a few times from the stage. He thanked me multiple times for coming, but I'm just confused now. Does it seem like he has feelings for me that he feels guilty about or am I imagining things? I've never hit on him or said anything to anyone about my feelings, so I don't think I make him uncomfortable. And how do I get over these feelings? I love my boyfriend and don't want to be burdened by a stupid crush. It's gotten to the point where I dream about he and I kissing. Seeing him at work is bittersweet. My life would be easier if I could just figure this thing out.
EDIT
Typical 20 year old go figure. :-)
You are so not getting the picture...
Of course he isn't interested in you, He is your coworker. Why the hell would any coworker talk about their personal business? It is highly inappropriate. This by all means does not mean he isn't happy in his marriage, It means he keeps his work seriously.
You need to get off the idea that you may have a chance with him. This man is married and has a family, He most certainly isn't interested in engaging in a relationship with a coworker nevermind someone that is twice as young as he is.
Pursuing a relationship with a coworker can put your job on the line. It is inappropriate and not professional, If you can't learn to put your feelings aside then you may not be mature enough to handle such a job..
(Rating: 2) It appears that you may be the one SO not getting the picture. When did I ever say that he is unhappy in his marriage? Never. When did I say that I had a chance with him? Never. When did I say that I intended to pursue a relationship with him? Never. So for you to have any opinion on my maturity level and ability to do my job is completely out of line. Edit: Really? Become none of the other advice I got was under the impression you were. Read the actual question before giving your judgmental feedback. My question was how to get over the feelings, not to act on them. After browsing your reviews, it seems that you get off on trying too hard to be the giver of harsh truth. Get off your high horse. You're not as mighty as you may believe. EDIT: Typical 28-year-old low life. Go figure.