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December 1, 2010Answers:
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about
I am straight to the point, My advice is given based on my opinions of what YOU write. I may not always tell you what you want to hear but I am not here to sugar coat shit.
I am honest, I am blunt, At times an asshole but one thing I can promise, I'll never lie.
advice
Okay so I'm a 21 year old female and I was in a relationship with a man on and off for a couple years. At first, he was everything I could've imagined. He was the most gorgeous man I had ever seen, was funny, and always made me take risks. He was also constantly getting into trouble. My family hated him because he would always start fights with me for no reason and I was always on an emotional roller coaster. Then about 2 years ago (the last time we dated) he was introduced to crystal meth. He went from getting scholarships to play college football to a downward spiral of addiction. He was a completely different person.
I stayed for several months, always feeling guilty if I ever thought about leaving him. I tried to get him into rehab but ultimately, quitting wasn't important to him. Some days he would cry to me about wanting to quit, others he would make me fear for my life because of how high he was or because of the sketchy situations he would have me in.
I finally left him and cut off all contact- moved away, changed my number, everything. I DID NOT want to go back to him or have anything to do with him. I had smarted up and knew that there was nothing I could've done to "save" him and that to continue that relationship would only harm MY LIFE. To a certain extent, I believe that he loved me. In fact, I KNOW he loved me, but he had issues that were rooted in him since he was a child that basically made him incapable of giving the kind of love that people deserved.
He not only screwed ME over, but he was awful to his own family. He would say mean things to them and then later would tell me how awful he felt and how he just couldn't change. I stayed for so long because not only did I love the man, but I felt so bad for everything he had gone through and I saw him in his times where he truly wanted to be a better person.
Anyway, I haven't seen or spoken to him in over a year. I've even met someone new who makes me feel wonderful. Yet the past few nights, I've had dreams about him and I find myself missing him terribly. It's like I feel no more of the sting of the hate or anger I once felt, I only feel the warmness I felt when I was with him or how safe I felt in his arms. There's no way on earth we could ever reconcile and no chance of me calling him up in hopes that he's changed.. that being said, how do I stop missing him?
You are not coming to terms with the fact that he was a negative influence on you. Sounds like you moved on and that is great but sweetie you moved on physically not emotionally.
The way you move on is to come to terms with the situation. This was the past, 2 years ago. This man was a negative inpact on your life and his problems were dragging you down. Blunty, He became a deadbeat who needs professional help. You are with someone new, Someone who is good for you. Why think about sacrificing something good? You know as well as I do that 2 years later, The ex probably is still hooked on drugs. like anyone who has an addiction, They must help themselves.
Focus on what you have and be happy. Don't take 2 steps back
(Rating: 5) You're completely right. I guess I just needed to hear that. Thank you.